Monday, August 29, 2011

God Wins

Scripture Reference: Revelation
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen. - Revelation 22:21
A lesson about the meaning of the book of Revelation.

MR. WISEMAN – a boxing rabbi and preterist
SISTER SOPHIA – a boxing nun and futurist
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who introduces the experts
JESSIE – the student who sets them straight

(The scene opens with MISS REBECCA on stage.)

MISS REBECCA: Today, we come to the end of our study of the New Testament with a look at the book of Revelation. This book can be very hard to understand, so we have brought in two experts to discuss its meaning and significance. Please welcome Mr. Wiseman and Sister Sophia.

MR. WISEMAN: Thank you, Miss Rebecca, for having me here today, and it's always a pleasure to see you, Sophia.

SISTER SOPHIA: And it's always nice to see you. Good morning, boys & girls.

MISS REBECCA: Let's start with you, Mr. Wiseman. What can you tell us about the book of Revelation?

MR. WISEMAN: The Revelation of John describes events that took place in the first century and culminated in the destruction of Temple in AD 70.

SISTER SOPHIA: Mr. Wiseman, sometimes you're not such a wise man with your preterist piffle. Revelation is clearly depicting future events – perhaps even near-future events.

MR. WISEMAN: Sophie, Sophie. You and your futurist folderol. How can you say these are future events? In the Olivet Discourse, Jesus said "this generation shall not pass till all these things be fulfilled." The Temple was destroyed within a 40-year generation. (punches SOPHIA)

SISTER SOPHIA: Really? Revelation describes an apocalypse complete with earthquakes, rivers turning to blood, everything in the sea dying, and people gnawing off their tongues – ew! I think if that had happened, someone might have mentioned it. (punches WISEMAN)

MR. WISEMAN: It's called symbolism. Or don't they us big words like that in the books you read? (several punches)

SISTER SOPHIA: Ooo! Nice one, fuzzball. What about the millennium? (several punches)

MR. WISEMAN: Millennium, shmillennium. Next you'll be talking about the antichrist. (more punches)

SISTER SOPHIA: That's right. The Antichrist will rise from the Middle East. (more punches)

MR. WISEMAN: Wrong! Nero was the antichrist.

(The punches now become non-stop.)

SISTER SOPHIA: Blasphemer!

MR. WISEMAN: Heretic!


MR. WISEMAN: Schmuck!

JESSIE: (standing) Hold it! I know what Revelation means.

(The punching stops, and they turn to JESSIE.)

SISTER SOPHIA: What are you talking about?

JESSIE: I know what Revelation means.

MR. WISEMAN: You know what Revelation means. I've studied this my whole adult life. I have a library full of books on the subject and have met with the greatest scholars of eschatology.

SISTER SOPHIA: She probably can't even spell eschatology.

MR. WISEMAN: So tell us, Miss Smartypants, what does Revelation mean?

JESSIE: In the end, God wins.


MR. WISEMAN: Well, I think I better be going. (exits quickly)

SISTER SOPHIA: Yeah, I gotta go to, uh... I've gotta do, uh... I have to be at the, uh... Bye. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: Good job, Jessie. That is the right answer.

JESSIE: (waving) Thank you. Thank you very much. (sits)

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