Monday, September 19, 2011

Adam's Nostrils (Puppet Version)

Scripture Reference: Proverbs 10:8
The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin. - Proverbs 10:8
The Proverb is illustrated with auditions to the air band Adam's Nostrils.

Note: I've done this skit before with two kids posing as the chattering fools. A new class and new circumstances meant reworking this skit with a puppet.

MISS REBECCA – teacher
OZZIE – chattering air guitar wannabe
3-4 kids – lead singer, drummer, etc.
1 kid – to replace the chattering wannabe

Rock-style song (I am using I'm a Believer by Cadet)

MISS REBECCA: Today, we are going to start an air band. For those who don't know what an air band is, an air band is a band that uses no real instruments. All of the instruments are made of air. For example the air guitar (pantomimes playing guitar) or air drums (pantomimes playing drums). The band is going to be called "Adam's Nostrils." You know like how God breathed air into Adam's nostrils? (Pauses to see if anyone gets it then gives up.) Anyway…
I need some volunteers to audition for Adam's Nostrils. I need a lead singer (pick a volunteer), a guitarist…

OZZIE: Oh! I’ve always wanted to play guitar. (strums air guitar)


OZZIE: Sweet!

MISS REBECCA: We also need a bass player (pick a volunteer) and a drummer (pick a volunteer).

(During the instructions, OZZIE chatters to other band members.)

MISS REBECCA: Okay, here are the instructions: I am going to play I'm a Believer by Cadet. When the song starts, you (pointing to the singer/singers) lip-synch the song, and the rest of you pretend to play your instruments. You don't sing, and you don't make any noise.

(MISS REBECCA starts the music.)

OZZIE: (looking around for instruments) MISS REBECCA! MISS REBECCA!

MISS REBECCA: (pausing the music) What is it, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Where are the instruments?

MISS REBECCA: As I just explained, this is an air band, so you just pretend to play your instruments.


(MISS REBECCA starts the music. OZZIE starts making guitar sounds. MISS REBECCA pauses the music.)

MISS REBECCA: What are you doing now?

OZZIE: I'm playing guitar – and rather well, I might add.

MISS REBECCA: But you are suppose to doing it without making any noise. If you hadn’t been chattering you would have heard me explain that.

OZZIE: Sorry. I have it now.

(MISS REBECCA starts the music. As soon as the singing starts, OZZIE starts singing along. MISS REBECCA pauses the music.)

MISS REBECCA: (obviously very frustrated) What part of "You don't sing, and you don't make any noise" did you not understand?

OZZIE: But it's a good song. I think they sang it in Shrek? Did you ever see that movie, Miss Rebecca? Izzie loves Donkey, because she thinks he’s so funny. I like Puss-in-Boots better. How about you?

MISS REBECCA: Excuse me. If you could have followed instructions, you would have known what to do. Hand in your air guitar.

(MISS REBECCA takes air guitar from OZZIE. OZZIE collapse in despair.)

MISS REBECCA: Who wants to take his place? (Pick another volunteer.) You are now the guitarist. Remember: No singing! No noise!

(MISS REBECCA start the music one last time. The kids perform the song with no further incidents.)

OZZIE: Proverbs 10:8
The wise person accepts instructions,
but a chattering fool comes to ruin.
(collapses again)

MISS REBECCA: Let's give our new air band Adam's Nostrils a big hand! You guys did a great job!

Monday, September 12, 2011

A Heap O' Burning Coals

Scripture Reference: Proverbs 25:21-22, Romans 12:9-21, Matthew 5:43-48

A puppet skit showing we should return kindness for unkindness.
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,  and the LORD will reward you. – Proverbs 25:21-22
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
DUDE – a bully lizard

glass of water

(Opens with D.B. on stage.)

D.B.: (imitating Elvis) It's just a heap o', a heap o' burning coals.

DUDE: What is that terrible sound? Is there some poor animal that's been injured? Oh, it's D.B. singing. What are you doing, furball?

D.B.: I am practicing my memory verse, Dude. Proverbs 25:21-22: If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.

DUDE: That is the second stupidest thing I've ever seen.

D.B.: What is the stupidest?

DUDE: You. (laughs hysterically)

D.B.: That was not very nice.

DUDE: Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, you know why a rabbit’s nose is always shiny?

D.B.: Why?

DUDE: Because its powder puff is on the wrong end! (laughs) Get it, furball? Your tail looks like a powder puff, so you can't powder your nose.

D.B.: I get it.

DUDE: Of course with you (looks D.B. up and down) it's hard to tell one end from the other. (laughs) Get it, furball? It's because you're so ugly that your face looks like your backside.

D.B.: Would you like a piece of candy, Dude?

DUDE: (confused) Sure, thanks. Hey, did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory?

D.B.: No.

DUDE: All he did was stand around making faces. (laughs) Get it, furball? Watch faces. Oh, I see you're making faces, too. No, wait, that is your regular face. (laughs)

D.B.: Would you like a glass of water?

DUDE: (more confused) Okay, I guess so. Do you know what you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower?

D.B.: What?

DUDE: A hare dryer. (laughs) Get it, furball? Like a rabbit is a hare.

D.B.: That is clever.

DUDE: Okay, what gives? This is my best material, and you ain't even gettin' mad. Are you having a bad hare day? (laughs) Get it, furball?

D.B.: I get it. Go on.

DUDE: Hmmm. What do you call a rabbit that sits on someone's forehead? Unsightly facial hare! (laughs) Get it, furball? Cause rabbits are so ugly, no one would want one on his face.

D.B.: I do not imagine that they would.

DUDE: Why you bein' so nice? It's no fun if you don't get hopping mad. (laughs) Get it, furball? HOPPING mad.

D.B.: Would you like to play my new PlayStation, Dude?

DUDE: (screams and leaves quickly)

D.B.: (looks after Dude then looks at memory verse) Wow! It worked. I offered him food and water, and it was like heaping burning coals on his head. Hey, and the LORD even rewarded me – Dude left. (snickers)
(exits imitating Elvis) It's just a heap o', a heap o' burning coals.