Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Snack Time

Scripture Reference: Mark 14:12-26, 1 Corinthians 11:23-26

Do this in remembrance of me.A lesson about Communion and remembrance.

Cast: OZZIE – an excitable little monster; MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

(OZZIE appears and starts looking around.)

MR. MATT: What are you looking for, Ozzie?

OZZIE: I'm looking for the snack tray I saw you making earlier, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: What are you talking about?

OZZIE: I saw you in the kitchen earlier this morning making a snack tray, but I didn't see where you put it.

MR. MATT: I don't know what you are talking about.

OZZIE: You know. The snack tray. The one with the bread and the juice.

MR. MATT: Oh! That's not a snack tray. That was for Communion.

OZZIE: Communion. Snack. Same thing. Where is it? I'm hungry!

MR. MATT: Ozzie! Communion is so much more than snack time. Communion is... (at this point share what Communion means to you personally)

OZZIE: Well, that's completely different than snack time!

MR. MATT: Very different. I'm glad you can see that.

OZZIE: But I'm still hungry.

MR. MATT: Sorry, I can't help you with that.

OZZIE: I saw Mr. Jeff with bread and juice, too. I'm going to see if he's having snack time. (exits)

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Rainbows & Unicorns

Scripture Reference: Matthew 26:1-16, Mark 14:1-11, Luke 7:36-50, 22:1-6, John 12:1-11
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. – 1 Corinthians 10:31
A lesson about forgiveness.

DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight


(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

DILLY: How y'all doin', Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA: Very well. How are you, Dilly? Finer than frog hair?

DILLY: Not today. Right now, I'm madder than a box of frogs.

MISS REBECCA: Why's that?

DILLY: He just thinks he's all that and then some.


DILLY: That little bantam rooster. I do believe he thinks he burps rainbows and unicorns.

MISS REBECCA: That does sound like someone who thinks highly of himself. What did he do?

DILLY: We was having a meeting of our Holy Poultry group when that sawed-off little roaster said I should be more grateful for my salvation.

MISS REBECCA: We should all be grateful for our salvation.

DILLY: Well, I am, I suppose. But if anyone should be grateful, it's that bantam. I recall what he was like before he was saved, and I just have one word – (sing-songy) LOSER!

MISS REBECCA: Dilly, that's a terrible thing to say.

DILLY: I still love him as my Christian brother, but he was a capital-L loser, bless his heart.

MISS REBECCA: Dilly! We need to all be thankful, because God has forgiven all of us so much.

DILLY: (under her breath) Some more than others.

MISS REBECCA: Our sin puts all of us farther away from God than any of us can reach on our own. It really doesn't matter if some people are a few more inches farther away.

DILLY: Or feet.


DILLY: Or miles.


DILLY: Or light years.

MISS REBECCA: Dilly, it doesn't matter. We are all sinful and the only way any of us can reach God is through Jesus Christ.

DILLY: But some people are very, very far away.

MISS REBECCA: But the good news is that nobody is too far for Jesus to reach. And nobody is so close that they don't need Jesus, too.

DILLY: Well, slap me silly and call me darlin'. I see what you mean. I should be as grateful as that pip-squeak of a rooster, because Jesus saved both of us.


DILLY: Oh my! I am much obliged, Miss Rebecca. I reckon I should go to that little bantam rooster directly and tell him I have done him a great disservice. I cannot believe I flew off the handle like that with that dear young boy. I need to go at once and make amends. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Monday, March 14, 2011

Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

Scripture Reference: Mark 12:41-44, Luke 21:1-4, 2 Chronicles 21:18-26

A lesson about giving.

D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny

MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight



(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

D.B.: (enters singing) Once I had a railroad, made it run, made it run against time. Once I had a railroad, now it is gone. Brother, can you spare a time?

MISS REBECCA: Well, that was... What I mean to say is that your singing is... (pause) so why the song,

D.B.: I had a spare dime I put in the collection plate, Miss Rebecca, and it made me think of that song.

MISS REBECCA: That was very nice of you, sweetie.

D.B.: Aw shucks! It was just a dime I had leftover from my allowance. You cannot buy anything with a dime, so I put it in the collection plate. I did not have anything better to do with it.

MISS REBECCA: It's very nice of you to give to the church, but your attitude about giving isn't very biblical.

D.B.: What do you mean?

MISS REBECCA: The Bible says we shouldn't give our leftovers. It says that we should give God our first fruits.

D.B.: Then that does not apply to me.


D.B.: Because I did not buy fruit with my allowance. Just candy.

MISS REBECCA: That's not what that means.

D.B.: Unless God wants my runts.

MISS REBECCA: God doesn't want your runts.

D.B.: Oh, good. Because they are my favorite.

MISS REBECCA: What He wants is for you to give to Him first and not give whatever is left over.

D.B.: Oh So I should have given to God before I bought my candy?

MISS REBECCA: Exactly. The Bible goes even farther, though. It reminds us that it's all really God's to start with, and we should give everything to Him.

D.B.: Then the church would need a much bigger collection plate.

MISS REBECCA: That's not what I...

D.B.: It would be full of toys and candy and...

MISS REBECCA: I didn't mean...

D.B.: cars and houses...

MISS REBECCA: Now you're just getting silly.

D.B.: and dogs and clothes...


D.B.: Then people would be coming to church with no clothes on!


D.B.: (calmly) Yes?

MISS REBECCA: That's not what that means.

D.B.: Phew! That was a very unpleasant mental image.

MISS REBECCA: It means that, since everything is God's, we need to take good care of it and use everything to God's glory.

D.B.: That makes a lot more sense.

MISS REBECCA: I would think so.

D.B.: And does not involve naked people at church.


D.B.: I am going to pay God first the next time I get my allowance, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Good for you, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Monster Church

Scripture Reference: Mark 11:15-18
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. – 1 Corinthians 10:31
A lesson about the church.

OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight


(MR. MIKE is on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: Hey, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Hi, Ozzie. I haven’t seen you in a long time. I’ve missed you.

OZZIE: I missed you, too. You know (stage whisper) you’re my favorite teacher.

JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can hear you.

OZZIE: (looks down then shrugs) Anyway, I’ve been going to my church for the last few weeks.

MR. MIKE: Oh. What church is that?

OZZIE: Monster Church.

MR. MIKE: Monster Church?

OZZIE: Yeah, that where I go when I don’t come here. It’s a lot like this church, only more hairy.

MR. MIKE: Do you like it there?

OZZIE: It’s swell, but we have a hard time getting grownups to teach us in children’s church.

MR. MIKE: Why’s that?

OZZIE: Would you want to be in a room full of little monsters?

MR. MIKE: I see your point, but you have some grown-ups who help, don’t you?

OZZIE: Oh, sure. And we have lots of fun.

MR. MIKE: Like what?

OZZIE: We sing songs.

MR. MIKE: Bible songs?

OZZIE: No. But we have stories.

MR. MIKE: Bible stories?

OZZIE: No. We do memorize verses.

MR. MIKE: Bible verses?


MR. MIKE: Do you use the Bible at all?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah! We use one to prop up one end of our big screen TV.

MR. MIKE: Big screen TV?

OZZIE: Yeah! This morning we started watching Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. Our teachers say that it has great spiritual significance.

MR. MIKE: Doesn’t anyone actually read the Bible?

OZZIE: Oh, no. The teachers say they have a hard time understanding all of the Bible, so there’s no way we kids could ever understand it.

MR. MIKE: But don’t the teachers here read the Bible when you visit?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah. And they have kids memorize verses.

MR. MIKE: Bible verses?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they have stories.

MR. MIKE: Bible stories?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they sing songs.

MR. MIKE: Bible songs?

OZZIE: Yeah. So kids really can learn stuff from the Bible?

MR. MIKE: They sure can.

OZZIE: I think I’m gonna talk to my teachers about using the Bible more.

MR. MIKE: That’s a great idea, Ozzie.

OZZIE: But I think I’m gonna wait a week before I tell them.

MR. MIKE: Why wait?

OZZIE: Because I want to see how Never Say Never ends. That Justin Bieber is just so cute. (exits)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!