A lesson about unity and diversity of the body.
TURQ – an energetic little monster from the hills
ARM – sophisticated voice (in contrast to Turq's), like Thurston Howell III.
FOOT – negative voice, like Glum from The Adventures of Gulliver cartoon
BOTTOM – surfer dude
(TURQ enters and addresses the audience.)
ARM: We're on strike.
TURQ: Is I a-dreamin'? Ma arm is a-talkin' at me.
ARM: We've decided that we do far too much and are just underappreciated. We lift, we push, we pull, we stretch, we cross, we put your hands in the air, we put your hands in the air, we put your hands in th…
TURQ: We get the idear. Keep 'er movin'.
ARM: Anywho, we decided to go on strike until we are recognized as the most important part of the body.
TURQ: Well, I gotta hand it to ya, that makes ya 'bout as useful as a trapdoor on a rowboat.
ARM: We don't care. We are tired of being abused.
FOOT: You think you're abused? Trying being a foot.
TURQ: (looking down) What in the Sam Hill?
FOOT: You think you have it rough. How'd you like to be stood on all day? He never wears shoes. He never cuts his toenails. And heaven forbid he should turn on a light when he gets up at night. I'm tired of being stubbed. We are on strike until we are recognized as the most important part of the body.
TURQ: Well, you picked a fine time to leave my you heal. (pauses) Hey! That'd make a dandy song. (breaking into song) ♫ You picked a fine time to leave my you heal. Ten hungry tootsies and a crop in the…♪
FOOT: (clears throat loudly)
TURQ: Sorry, 'bout that.
BOTTOM: Whoa! You think you have it bad? He sits on m…
TURQ: Hesh!!! We ain't goin' there.
TURQ: Listen, fellers, this goes right along with the theme verse fer this here con-fer-ence.
ARM: Funny how that always works out.
TURQ: Ain't it though. The verse is: there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
So don't ya see, fellers, you is all important: arms, feet, even the feller back there. If'n we is quarrelsome, we all suffer. If'n we all get along, we can get a whole mess o' stuff done. Then we can be happier'n a june bug on a tomater plant.
ARM: I suppose, but do we have to include THAT fellow back there.
BOTTOM: (indignant) Hey!
TURQ: Yep! Ev'ryone.
ARM: (reluctantly) Fine.
TURQ: But it's bigger'n 'at, fellers. Ya see all these folks here? Well, these folks and the folks they go to church with and the folks that believe in Christ all over the world is part of Christ's body. We is like His arms and His feet and His… Well, we is all part of His body. If'n we is quarrelsome, we all suffer. If'n we all get along, we can get a whole mess o' stuff done. Then we can be happier'n a woodpecker in a lumberyard.
FOOT: (in normal droopy voice) The thought of that just makes me feel so happy.
TURQ: So can I have ma arms back now?
ARM: Oh, sorry. Yes.
TURQ: (moving/flailing arms) That's better. Now that we got that settled, where was I? Oh, that's right.
Woo wee! Howdy-do, folks. Ma name is Turq and I'm a-fixin' to learn y'all about the theme verse fer this here con-fer-ence. The verse is in One Cōrinthians 12…
ARM: I think you already covered that.
TURQ: (considers) Did I? Well, roll me over and call me tumbleweed. I reckon I did. (realizing he's done) Hoo wee! Then I'm off to the fishin' hole… (looking around, realizing he shouldn't leave yet) after the con-fer-ence, of course.
Well, ā-dios, folks. (exits)
BOTTOM: The end.