Monday, August 31, 2015


Scripture Reference: 1 Corinthians 12:12-31

A lesson about unity and diversity of the body.

      TURQ – an energetic little monster from the hills
      ARM – sophisticated voice (in contrast to Turq's), like Thurston Howell III.
      FOOT – negative voice, like Glum from The Adventures of Gulliver cartoon
      BOTTOM – surfer dude


(TURQ enters and addresses the audience.)
TURQ: Hoo wee! Howdy-do, folks. Ma name is Turq and I'm a-fixin' to learn y'all about the theme verse fer this here con-fer-ence. The verse is in One Cōrinthians 12. Lemme just grab my Bible… (tries to reach but nothing happens) I sez, lemme just grab my Bible… (tries again to reach but again nothing happens) What in tarnaton is a-goin' on here? I cain't move ma arms.

ARM: We're on strike.

TURQ: Is I a-dreamin'? Ma arm is a-talkin' at me.

ARM: We've decided that we do far too much and are just underappreciated. We lift, we push, we pull, we stretch, we cross, we put your hands in the air, we put your hands in the air, we put your hands in th…

TURQ: We get the idear. Keep 'er movin'.

ARM: Anywho, we decided to go on strike until we are recognized as the most important part of the body.

TURQ: Well, I gotta hand it to ya, that makes ya 'bout as useful as a trapdoor on a rowboat.

ARM: We don't care. We are tired of being abused.

FOOT: You think you're abused? Trying being a foot.

TURQ: (looking down) What in the Sam Hill?

FOOT: You think you have it rough. How'd you like to be stood on all day? He never wears shoes. He never cuts his toenails. And heaven forbid he should turn on a light when he gets up at night. I'm tired of being stubbed. We are on strike until we are recognized as the most important part of the body.

TURQ: Well, you picked a fine time to leave my you heal. (pauses) Hey! That'd make a dandy song. (breaking into song) ♫ You picked a fine time to leave my you heal. Ten hungry tootsies and a crop in the…♪

FOOT: (clears throat loudly)

TURQ: Sorry, 'bout that.

BOTTOM: Whoa! You think you have it bad? He sits on m…

TURQ: Hesh!!! We ain't goin' there.

BOTTOM: Bummer!

TURQ: Listen, fellers, this goes right along with the theme verse fer this here con-fer-ence.

ARM: Funny how that always works out.

TURQ: Ain't it though. The verse is: there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
So don't ya see, fellers, you is all important: arms, feet, even the feller back there. If'n we is quarrelsome, we all suffer. If'n we all get along, we can get a whole mess o' stuff done. Then we can be happier'n a june bug on a tomater plant.

ARM: I suppose, but do we have to include THAT fellow back there.

BOTTOM: (indignant) Hey!

TURQ: Yep! Ev'ryone.

ARM: (reluctantly) Fine.

TURQ: But it's bigger'n 'at, fellers. Ya see all these folks here? Well, these folks and the folks they go to church with and the folks that believe in Christ all over the world is part of Christ's body. We is like His arms and His feet and His… Well, we is all part of His body. If'n we is quarrelsome, we all suffer. If'n we all get along, we can get a whole mess o' stuff done. Then we can be happier'n a woodpecker in a lumberyard.

FOOT: (in normal droopy voice) The thought of that just makes me feel so happy.

TURQ: So can I have ma arms back now?

ARM: Oh, sorry. Yes.

TURQ: (moving/flailing arms) That's better. Now that we got that settled, where was I? Oh, that's right.
Woo wee! Howdy-do, folks. Ma name is Turq and I'm a-fixin' to learn y'all about the theme verse fer this here con-fer-ence. The verse is in One Cōrinthians 12…

ARM: I think you already covered that.

TURQ: (considers) Did I? Well, roll me over and call me tumbleweed. I reckon I did. (realizing he's done) Hoo wee! Then I'm off to the fishin' hole… (looking around, realizing he shouldn't leave yet) after the con-fer-ence, of course.
Well, ā-dios, folks
. (exits)

BOTTOM: The end.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Communion Etiquette

Scripture Reference:  1Corinthians 11:17-34
            MELISSA – cannot stop talking and fidgeting during Communion.
            COREY – clowns around during Communion trying to make MELISSA laugh.
            HANNAH – knows the proper way to celebrate Communion.
            NARRATOR – controls and comments on the action.
            ALEX – usher serving Communion; not impressed with MELISSA and COREY's antics.
            Communion elements
(Scene opens with MELISSA, COREY, and HANNAH sitting as if in church facing the audience.  MELISSA and COREY can be seen  playing around and talking, but we cannot hear them.  HANNAH is sitting quietly.  The NARRATOR stands behind them.)
NARRATOR:  Presented for you consideration.  Three young people preparing to celebrate Communion:  the Talker, the Clown, and the Worshipper.  Let's see how each takes the Communion bread.
(MELISSA and COREY  are so busy talking that MELISSA does not notice ALEX trying to serve the bread.  Finally, ALEX nudges MELISSA who takes the tray.  MELISSA picks through the tray to find just the right piece.  She finally takes one and passes the tray to COREY.  MELISSA fiddles with her bread, passing it from one hand to the other.
COREY takes one, tosses it the air, and tries to catch it in his mouth.  He then takes another and tries it again.  After several attempts, COREY sees the dirty looks from HANNAH and ALEX.  COREY takes one and passes on the tray to HANNAH.  COREY sticks the bread in his pocket.
HANNAH takes a piece, hands the tray to ALEX, and sits quietly holding the bread in her closed hand.
MELISSA eats her bread.
MELISSA and COREY start talking again while HANNAH sits quietly.)
NARRATOR:  So kids, who did the bread correctly?  (Wait for responses.)
(Standing behind MELISSA.)  Who are we suppose to pay attention to during Communion?  (The pastor.)  Do we touch all the bread before taking a piece?  (No.)
(Standing behind COREY.)  Are we suppose to play with the bread?  (No.)  What are we suppose to do with the bread?  (Hold it in our hand.)
(Standing behind HANNAH.)  We are suppose to pay attention to the pastor and be ready to take the tray when it is handed to us.  We don't play with the bread.  We hold it in our hand and wait for the pastor to say that we can eat it.  (Looks at MELISSA, who looks sheepish.)
After the pastor says they can eat the bread (HANNAH eats the bread)…  (Looking at COREY,) AFTER THE PASTOR SAYS THEY CAN EAT THE BREAD…  (Startled, COREY removes the bread from his pocket and eats it.)  After the pastor says they can eat the bread, the juice is served.
(MELISSA and COREY are so busy talking again, that MELISSA doesn't notice ALEX standing next to her with the juice.  ALEX finally has to nudge her.  MELISSA takes a very long time trying to pick just the right cup.  She finally picks one, takes the tray, and pass it to COREY.  MELISSA holds her cup in the air looking at the light through the cup.
COREY nearly spills the tray trying to balance it while finding the cup he wants.  COREY then holds the tray for HANNAH but keeps moving it as she tries to take a cup.  COREY sees the dirty looks from HANNAH and COREY then finally holds the tray still for her to take a cup.  COREY and MELISSA start comparing notes on their juice.
HANNAH pass the tray to ALEX then sits quietly holding her cup.)
NARRATOR:  So kids, who did the juice correctly?  (Wait for responses.)
(Standing behind MELISSA.)  Are we suppose to be talking to our friends during Communion?  (No.)  Is there any difference between the cups?  (No.)  No, just take one.
(Standing behind COREY.)  Grownups can usually handle holding the tray and taking a cup.  It is  a good idea to let an adult hold the tray for you and pass it on.
(Standing behind HANNAH.)  We are suppose to be quiet and be ready to pick a cup of juice when it comes to us.  Just take one, they are all the same.  We hold the cup in our hand and wait for the pastor to say that we drink it.
The pastor then says they can drink the juice (MELISSA and HANNAH drink the juice – MELISSA tosses her cup over her shoulder; HANNAH holds her cup)…  (Looking at COREY,) THE PASTOR THEN SAYS THEY CAN DRINK THE JUICE…  (Startled, COREY holds the cup with his lips and throws his head back to drink the juice.  MELISSA laugh then notices that no one else is laughing.  She faces forward and looks serious.  COREY cracks the cup in his mouth then takes it out.  HANNAH rolls her eyes.)
(Standing behind MELISSA.)  What are we suppose to do when we are through drinking the juice?  (Hold on to it.)
(Standing behind COREY.  Pauses.  Looks down at COREY.  Shakes his head and rolls eyes.)  Don't even think about it.
(Standing behind HANNAH.)  We are suppose to hold our cup until everyone is finished.  We then pass the cups to the center aisle where the usher will pick it up.  (MELISSA crawls on the floor to retrieve her cup and passes it to COREY.  COREY puts is crushed cup in MELISSA's and passes it to HANNAH.  HANNAH stacks her cup and passes them to ALEX.)
NARRATOR:  Communion is suppose to be a celebration.  We are suppose to be joyful as we reflect on the awesome gift of God's grace.  But it is also a serious time as we reflect on Jesus' sacrifice.  That means we can be happy – we can be very happy – but we don't play around.  If we'll all do that, Communion will be more enjoyable and meaningful for you and those around you.

Let's give a hand to Melissa, Corey, and Hannah for all their help.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Filled with the Holy Spirit

Scripture Reference:  Acts 3-4

A lesson about the power of the Holy Spirit.
We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. – 1 John 3:16

            PROPHET – a Bible prophet

A representation of the Holy Spirit (e.g., flaming tongue, dove, cloud) lowered on a string.

The opening monolog can be shortened or lengthened as necessary.  The point is that without the Holy Spirit he is just a clanging cymbal.
The message of the closing paragraph can be modified to have different content according to your needs.

(The PROPHET enters.)

PROPHET:  (in a stammering, halting manner) G-g-g-g-ood m-m-mor…, um, G-g-g-ood m‑morning, b-b-b-oys and g-g-girls.  I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I would like to – well, I don't know if I would like to as much as I need to – well, need may be too strong…  A‑a‑anyway, God – I-I-I mean the Lord – w-well, the Lord God – He, uh, He, uh, H‑h‑he w-w-wants you to know – well, you probably already know – well, you may not actually know, but you've told – well, maybe you haven't been told, but someone has been told th-that God – I-I-I mean the Lord – w-well, the Lord God – He, uh, He, uh, H‑h‑he really – and when I say really, I mean really, really – He really…

(the PROPHET pauses and takes a deep breath)

PROPHET:  Dear God, please send Your spirit and give me the words to speak?

(the Holy Spirit starts to lower then touches the PROPHET)

PROPHET:  (in a confident, firm manner)  The Lord God wants you to know that you must change your hearts and lives!  Turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.  God has raised up his servant Jesus and sent him to you first to bless you by turning each of you away from doing evil.  Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.

NARRATOR:  "After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken.  And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly."  [Acts 4:31 (NIV)]

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

I'm My Mama's Reflection

Scripture Reference: Acts 5:1-11

A lesson about judgment.


TURQ – an energetic little monster from the hills
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight
ABIGAIL – one of the kids in class


Rubber chicken

(TURQ enters.)

TURQ: Hoo wee! Howdy-do, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Hi, Turq. What's up?

TURQ: Not much, I jes… (pauses then zeroes in on one of the students) Is that Abigail?

MISS REBECCA: (confused) Yes.

TURQ: Well, I ain't seen Abigail in a month o' Sundays. Come up here, Abigail, I have somethin' fer ya.

(Abigail approaches the front of the puppet stage.)

ABIGAIL: Hi, Turq. What do you want?

TURQ: No, come closer.

ABIGAIL: (gets closer) OK.

TURQ: That ain't close 'nuff. Come over here to the side.

ABIGAIL: (goes to the side of the puppet stage) How's this?

TURQ: That's perfect. (Disappears from puppet stage. Suddenly, he hits ABIGAIL over the head with a rubber chicken. Stays back stage.)

MISS REBECCA: Abigail! Are you OK?

ABIGAIL: I'm fine.

MISS REBECCA: I'm so sorry. Why don't you have a seat.

(ABIGAIL sits.)


TURQ: (enters) Is you all still here?

MISS REBECCA: Yes. I can't believe you did that.

TURQ: Did what?

MISS REBECCA: Hit Abigail with a rubber chicken.

TURQ: What is you talkin' about. I did no such thang.

MISS REBECCA: Yes, you did.

TURQ: No, I didn't.


TURQ: I didn't.


TURQ: Didn't times infinity.

MISS REBECCA: (taking a different tack) Well, whoever did it must have a terrible mother.

TURQ: I telled ya I didn't do it. And stop talkin' 'bout my mama.

MISS REBECCA: I'm just saying that whoever did such a terrible thing must have a terrible mother.

TURQ: Stop bad-mouthin' my mama. And I didn't do it.

MISS REBECCA: Whoever did such a pusillanimous and vindictive act must have a pusillanimous and vindictive mother.

TURQ: I don't know what those words mean, but take 'em back. Nobody sasses my mama.

MISS REBECCA: Are you saying you hit Abigail with a rubber chicken.

TURQ: I tryin' not to.


TURQ: Fine! I did. I did. Ar' you happy now?

MISS REBECCA: I'm glad you decided to be honest.

TURQ: And do you take back what you said about my mama?!?

MISS REBECCA: Your mother is a fine woman, Turq.

TURQ: Thank ye.

MISS REBECCA: But, it does reflect badly on her when you do bad things.

TURQ: But it ain't her fault.

MISS REBECCA: No, it's not, but people will judge your mother based on your actions.

TURQ: Well, that ain't far.

MISS REBECCA: Maybe not, but that's the way it is. If someone has never met your mother, they only know her through you.

TURQ: Well turn me over and paint me blue.

MISS REBECCA: And as a Christian, your actions reflect on God, too.

TURQ: Tarnation! That ain't far neither.

MISS REBECCA: If someone doesn't know, they only know Him through you.

TURQ: Spit fire and save the matches. Hittin' someone with a rubber chicken makes my mama and God both look bad.

MISS REBECCA: That's right.

TURQ: 'Cause a cream pie to the face would be much funnier.

MISS REBECCA: That's not really what I meant…

TURQ: That would reflect much better on my mama…

MISS REBECCA: I need to clarify…

TURQ: and God.

MISS REBECCA: Not exactly…

TURQ: See y'all later. Bye!

MISS REBECCA: (giving up) Bye, Turq.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

I'd Cotton to Some Candy

Scripture Reference:  Daniel 3

A lesson that God is always God.

TURQ – an energetic little monster from the hills
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight


(MR. MIKE is on stage when TURQ enters.)

TURQ:  Hoo wee!  Howdy-do, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE:  Hi, Turq.  What's up?

TURQ:  O, not too much.  I got me a new toothbrush, I decided I ain't gonna believe in God, and I'm a-thinkin' about gittin' a haircut.

MR. MIKE:  What was that?

TURQ:  I was studyin' as to whether to get a haircut.  Well, actually, I'd probly get more than one o' my hairs cut, but…

MR. MIKE:  No, no, no.  The one before that.  The one about God.

TURQ:  O!  I decided that I ain't gonna believe in God no more.

MR. MIKE:  Is it because you prayed it would rain soda and it didn’t?

TURQ:  No, I reckon that was a silly, childish prayer.  I had a more grown-up prayer that didn't come true.

MR. MIKE:  And what prayer was that?

TURQ:  That it'd snow cotton candy.

MR. MIKE:  How is that more mature than raining soda?

TURQ:  Is you a few clowns short of a circus, Mr. Mike?  Everyone knows cotton candy is one of the five major food groups and sody is for kiddies.

MR. MIKE:  Everyone knows that?

TURQ:  I reckon so.  That's what my momma learned me.

MR. MIKE:  Well, I'm not going to argue with anyone's momma.

TURQ:  Darn tootin'.  So I prayed fer it to snow cotton candy, there ain't no cotton candy snow, so I don't believe in God no more.

MR. MIKE:  This reminds me of today's Bible story.

TURQ:  There's a Bible story about cotton candy?

MR. MIKE:  No.  Today's story is about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

TURQ:  Shaq, Mack, and a belly button?

MR. MIKE:  No, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  They wouldn't worship a statue of the king, so the king ordered them to be thrown into a fiery furnace.

TURQ:  Well, that'd be hotter'n a pair of sweat pants full of barbecue.  But I bet the Lord saved them.

MR. MIKE:  Since this is a spoiler free skit, you'll have to wait and see.   But they did tell the king that even if God didn't save them, He's still God and they'll worship only Him.

TURQ:  Nuh-uh.

MR. MIKE:  Uh-huh.

TURQ:  No way.

MR. MIKE:  Way.

TURQ:  Even if they didn’t get what they wanted, they wouldn't give up on God.

MR. MIKE:  That's right.

TURQ:  Even if they got burnt up like a marshmallow that gets all squishy on the stick and plops into the campfire?

MR. MIKE:  Even then.

TURQ:  Even if they are like that burnt up little French fry that gets put in your tator tots at Sonic?

MR. MIKE:  I think so.

TURQ:  Well, hoo-wee!  Then I shouldn't give up on God, should I?

MR. MIKE:  No, God will always be faithful.

TURQ:  And I shouldn't give up on God makin' it snow cotton candy.

MR. MIKE:  I didn't say that.

TURQ:  Then I reckon the problem is that I just ain't been per-sis-tent enuff.

MR. MIKE:  That's not really what I meant when…

TURQ:  I think I'm gonna head down to the fishin' hole and do me some prayin' about cotton candy snow.

MR. MIKE:  Before you go, I need to clarify…

TURQ:  See y'all later.  Bye!

MR. MIKE:  (giving up) Bye, Turq.