Scripture Reference: Exodus 1:1-2:11
A skit about Moses and God's Provision.
Cast:GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MR. JUSTIN – the teacher who sets her straight
(MR. JUSTIN is on stage alone talking to the kids.)
MR. JUSTIN: Granny Grace is going to be here today. You know she's as old as Moses' toes and twice as corny.
GRANNY: (enters) Good morning, dears.
MR. JUSTIN: Oh! Good morning, Granny. Do you have a story for us today?
GRANNY: Oh, yes. It’s a lovely story about the little baby Moses.
MR. JUSTIN: Did you know Moses?
GRANNY: Oh my, young man, Moses was born about 3400 years ago. How old do you think I am?
MR. JUSTIN: Oh, well… I, um… It was… It was Sophie. Yeah, that's it. It was Sophie who said you're old as Moses' toes.
GRANNY: Sophie! I can’t believe it. Such a nice, quiet young lady being so disrespectful to her elder. (If Sophie or the other kids react, engage them but don't take too long.)
(to Sophie or Justin) Well, 40 lashes with a wet noodle for you.
MR. JUSTIN: Anyway, you were going to tell us a story about baby Moses.
GRANNY: Oh yes, dear. As you remember, Joseph brought his whole family to Egypt during the famine. Well, eventually Joseph died when he was 110. Many years passed, and a Pharaoh who didn't know Joseph reigned over Egypt. He was very worried that there were so many Israelites, so he made them slaves and made them do hard labor. But the king was still afraid, so he ordered the Egyptian midwives to kill all of the baby boys. They didn't do it. They told Pharaoh that the Hebrew women were strong and gave birth before the could get there. God blessed them for not killing the baby boys.
MR. JUSTIN: That was very nice of them.
GRANNY: Oh yes, dear. Very nice. But Pharaoh wasn't done. He ordered every baby boy to be thrown in the river and drowned.
MR. JUSTIN: That Pharaoh was one bad dude.
GRANNY: He was a very bad dude, indeed. Well, about this time little baby Moses was born. He was so adorable and cuddly that his mama hid him. After three months, he was just too noisy and couldn’t be hidden any longer. So his mama took him down to the river and suddenly a bull rushed them.
MR. JUSTIN: What?!? That doesn't sound right.
GRANNY: It's right there in the Bible, dear. It says there was an "ark of bulrushes." You know how a group of lions is called a pride, and a group of geese is a gaggle? Well, apparently a group of rushes from a bull is called an ark.
MR. JUSTIN: I don’t think…
GRANNY: I'm sure little baby Moses must have been terrified. I mean, to suddenly have a big old, mean bull rushing at you like that? I can just picture it: The bull saying, (snort, snort). And little baby Moses saying, "Waa! Waa!" It must have been horrifying.
MR. JUSTIN: Granny!
GRANNY: Yes, dear?
MR. JUSTIN: An ark is not a bunch of rushes by a bull.
GRANNY: It's not?
MR. JUSTIN: No, it's a chest or a basket.
GRANNY: Really? How did they get a bull in a basket?
MR. JUSTIN: There was no bull. The ark was made of bulrushes. Bulrushes are reeds or papyrus. Moses' mom coated it with tar and pitch to make it waterproof.
GRANNY: Well, wasn't that clever.
MR. JUSTIN: Yes, it was. Then Moses' mom sent him down the river, and his life was saved.
GRANNY: Well, that makes for a much nicer story.
MR. JUSTIN: Much nicer.
GRANNY: Well, I'm glad I could help. I'd better be going now. Remember, children, don't tweet just for the sake of tweeting and read your Bibles every day. Bye, dears. (exits)
Scripture Reference: Genesis 32:22-32
A lesson in struggle and blessing.
Cast:MR. JEFF – the larger, stronger storyteller
ABIGAIL – the tenacious albeit smaller student
(While reading the story below, MR. JEFF and ABIGAIL will be arm wrestling to illustrate God and Jacob wrestling.)
During the night Jacob rose and crossed the Jabbok River at the crossing, taking with him his two wives, his two slave girls, and his eleven sons. He sent his family and everything he had across the river. So Jacob was alone, and a man came and wrestled with him until the sun came up. When the man saw he could not defeat Jacob, he struck Jacob's hip and put it out of joint. (MR. JEFF touches ABIGAIL's hip [or shoulder], and her arm drops. But she does not let go!) Then he said to Jacob, "Let me go. The sun is coming up."
But Jacob said, "I will let you go if you will bless me."
The man said to him, "What is your name?"
And he answered, "Jacob."
Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob. Your name will now be Israel, because you have wrestled with God and with people, and you have won."
Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name."
But the man said, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed Jacob there. (ABIGAIL releases MR. JEFF.)
So Jacob named that place Peniel, saying, "I have seen God face to face, but my life was saved." Then the sun rose as he was leaving that place, and Jacob was limping because of his leg. So even today the people of Israel do not eat the muscle that is on the hip joint of animals, because Jacob was touched there.
Scripture Reference: Genesis 11:1-9
A lesson in humility.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
none
(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)
DILLY: How y'all doin', Miss Rebecca?
MISS REBECCA: Very well. How are you doing?
DILLY: I'm finer than frog hair.
MISS REBECCA: I hear you won a golf tournament.
DILLY: I'm so happy you brought that up, cher, because one should not brag on oneself. But please feel free to brag on me in my stead.
MISS REBECCA: Are you a good golfer?
DILLY: I'm fair to middlin'. I play to scratch.
MISS REBECCA: Really?
DILLY: No, of course not. I'm a wondrous golfer. I am undoubtedly the best chicken golfer in the country. (pause) The world. (pause) The universe. (pause) Ever. (pause) Forever and ever. But one should not brag on oneself.
MISS REBECCA: Are you really that good?!?
DILLY: Have you herd of Nancy Lopez and Babe Didrikson Zaharias?
MISS REBECCA: Yes, they're a couple of the best women golfers ever.
DILLY: I could beat 'em both with one wing tied behind my back. I won't even bring up those chumps Arnold Palmer or Jack Nicklaus, because one should not brag on oneself.
MISS REBECCA: You know, Dilly, for some who doesn't like to brag, you sure aren't very humble.
DILLY: What in the name of Col. Sanders are you talking about? I'm as humble as a toothless bumble.
MISS REBECCA: When you keep bragging about how great you are at golf, you're showing a lack of humility.
DILLY: I am great with humility.
MISS REBECCA: Dilly! You're even bragging about how humble you are.
DILLY: I'm just too humble to lie.
MISS REBECCA: Do you even listen to yourself?
DILLY: I try, but sometimes my mind wanders.
MISS REBECCA: You keep saying you don't like to brag on yourself, but you keep bragging on yourself about how great you are. And it’s not humble to boast about how humble you are.
DILLY: Well, paint me green and call me a pickle. I see what you mean. I've been prouder than a prize tomato. (getting more agitated) Oh my! My speech for the golf tournament banquet. I must go directly and change it, or I will look as foolish as a man chasing a hat. (exits quickly)
MISS REBECCA: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
Scripture Reference: Luke 11:5-13
The lesson about the persistence in prayer.
Cast:
FRIEND – a persistent friend with no sense of time
NEIGHBOR – the neighbor who is just trying to get some shut eye
Props:
Pots, pans, and/or anything else to make lots of noise.
Frozen pizza box
FRIEND: HEY! ARE YOU AWAKE?!
NEIGHBOR: (crashing sounds) What?!?
FRIEND: I SAID, “ARE YOU AWAKE?”
NEIGHBOR: Well, I am now. What time is it?
FRIEND: MIDNIGHT.
NEIGHBOR: Please keep it down. Everyone is asleep.
FRIEND: (stage whisper) Sorry.
NEIGHBOR: What on earth to you want?
FRIEND: I just picked my friend up at the airport, and all they fed him on the plane was a little bag of pretzels. He's starving, and all I have in my fridge is a bottle of flat Coke and half a loaf of moldy bread.
NEIGHBOR: Why are you telling me all of this?
FRIEND: Well, I was wondering if you might have a frozen pizza you could spare?
NEIGHBOR: A FROZEN PIZZA! Shhhh! What do I look like? A fast food place?
FRIEND: Well, no, but he’s really hungry.
NEIGHBOR: Look, it’s the middle of the night, the house is locked up, and the kids are finally asleep – which is no easy task. I am not going to go traipsing through the house TO GET YOU A PIZZA! Shhhh! Come back in the morning.
FRIEND: But he’s hungry now. C’mon, be a pal. All I’m asking for is one lousy little pizza. I’d even take one with pineapple on it – but no anchovies. Hairy fish on pizza is gross. Yuck! C’mon, buddy.
NEIGHBOR: I am not your pal. I am not your buddy. I am not your friend! I CAN’T EVEN HEAR YOU! (Putting fingers in ears) LA-LA-LA-LA. Shhhh!
FRIEND: Just walk down to the kitchen, pull a pizza out of the freezer, and toss it out the window, then you can go back to bed. No biggie.
NEIGHBOR: Have you no shame? You just won’t give up. Will you? Fine, let me get your pizza. (Disappear from the window. Start crashing and shushing. Without coming back to the window, toss the pizza box out of the window. Then start crashing and shushing again.)
FRIEND: THANKS! Oops! Shhhh! (stage whisper) Thanks. (Looking at box) Anchovies?! Some people just don’t think about other people’s feelings.
Scripture Reference: Luke 10:30-37
The story of the Good Samaritan updated for children.
Cast:
VICTIM – ordinary boy (or girl) who has been set upon by bullies
Costume:
Modern dress. Clothes are torn and bloodied to show signs of a struggle. Should also be bandaged.
(The VICTIM stumbles into room bandaged and moaning. This can be done while a teacher or other person is talking, interrupting the class.)
VICTIM: Oh, it hurts so much. I was on my way here this morning, when I was jumped by these big kids. These bullies stole my offering and beat the tar out of me. (waving off assistance) I’ll be fine. It only hurts when I laugh. Ha ha – oh! (miming hits and kicks) They hit me and kicked me and spit on me and called me names. I thought I was going to die. Then they just left me there by the road.
I don’t know how long I had been lying there when I saw Biff. Biff is the minister's son. He's always busy doing something around church. I called out to him to help me. He said he was really busy, and maybe he could help me on his way back. But there may not be any me by the time he gets back!
A few minutes later I saw Holly. She's in the choir and has the most beautiful singing voice. I was in the Christmas play with her last year. She's so nice. She once said 'hi' to me. I just knew she would help me. I called out to her, but she got this look of disgust on her face. I know I was all bloody and bruised – but how rude! When I asked her for help, she looked at me like I'd asked her to eat kitty litter. She said something about her new dress and her nails, then she just crossed over to the other side of the street.
What was I going to do? I was feeling weak. I think I even saw part of my life flash before my eyes, and I didn’t like the ending. I kept thinking, “Don’t go into the light.”
I lay there for what felt like hours when I saw Lewis. Not Lewis! He is the biggest nerd in the school. No one likes Lewis. He is SO strange! He goes to some weirdo church. He always wears dress pants, and they don’t even come down to his ankles. And he carries this Star Wars lunch box (rolls eyes). Everyone is always so mean to him. I’ve never said anything mean to him – in fact, I usually try to avoid eye contact with him – but I have laughed when others have made fun of him. I didn’t even bother to call out to him. Everyone is always so mean to him, why would he be nice to anyone else. When he saw me, he ran right over – man, he even runs like a dork – and got down on one knee and asked how I was. Boy, do I feel bad now. I told him what happened. He opened his Star Wars lunch box and gave me a drink from his R2D2 Thermos. He used the water from the Thermos and his handkerchief to clean my wounds. He had some Band-Aids in his lunch box and put them on me. He said he had to be somewhere but that the school nurse lived right around the corner. He took me there, so she could finish bandaging me up and make sure I was okay. He said he would be back later to check on me.
He was so nice to me. Why?!? I’ve never been nice to him. I’ve never even spoken to him. He has every reason in the world to be mad at everyone in school and could have – and maybe should have – just left me there like Biff and Holly did, but he didn’t.
Anyway, I think I want to catch up to Lewis. I think I can learn a lot from Lewis about what it means to be a good neighbor.
