Monday, January 31, 2011

Knocks Your Socks Off

Scripture Reference: Luke 17:11-19

A lesson about thankfulness.

Then he said to him, 'Rise and go; your faith has made you well.' - Luke 17:19Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Toe socks

(D.B. enters but does not speak. He is obviously in a bad mood.)


D.B.: Oh, hi, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: You don’t seem to be in a very good mood, sweetie. What’s wrong?

D.B.: My mamma wants me to write my gramma a thank you note for my Christmas present.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a very nice thing to do. What’s the problem?

D.B.: I am not thankful for my Christmas present.

MISS REBECCA: That’s not a very nice thing to say.

D.B.: But it is true.

MISS REBECCA: What’s wrong with your Christmas present?

D.B.: She bought me socks.

MISS REBECCA: Socks can be a good present.

D.B.: But I am a puppet, and I do not have any feet.

MISS REBECCA: Well, there is that. Maybe you could wear them as ear warmers.

D.B.: They are TOE socks. (produces socks in question)

MISS REBECCA: Ah. Well, you should still be thankful that your gramma loves you enough to buy you a present.

D.B.: You sound like my mamma.

MISS REBECCA: She must be a very wise woman.

D.B.: She is, but she is wrong this time.

MISS REBECCA: Maybe you’re right.

D.B.: Huh?

MISS REBECCA: Why write a thank you note for a crumby gift?

D.B.: Yeah!

MISS REBECCA: Sounds like your gramma is a very mean, uncaring grandmother.

D.B.: Wait a minute…

MISS REBECCA: Toe socks. She’s obviously a terrible person.

D.B.: No, she is not! She is a wonderful person!

MISS REBECCA: I don’t know.

D.B.: She is. Whenever I spend the night, she always makes my favorite foods, and we watch my favorite movies, and she has my favorite candy – carrot M&M’s.

MISS REBECCA: That is nice, but she obviously doesn’t love you enough to buy you any good presents.

D.B.: She does too! For my last birthday, she bought me a light saber and the Lego Watership Down video game. And last Christmas, she bought me the Star Hares Trilogy on DVD.

MISS REBECCA: Yeah, but toe socks. What was she thinking?

D.B.: She was thinking that she loves me.


D.B.: Besides, I could wear them as ear warmers.

MISS REBECCA: What a good idea.

D.B.: And… Wait a minute. You tricked me.

MISS REBECCA: (innocently) Tricked you?

D.B.: You tricked me into being thankful for my Christmas present.

MISS REBECCA: I didn’t trick you so much as remind you of all you have to be thankful for.

D.B.: I am going to write my gramma the most sweetest thank you card ever.

MISS REBECCA: That’s a great idea.

D.B.: Thanks, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: You’re welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.


Monday, January 24, 2011

By His Strength

Scripture Reference: Matthew 17:14-21, Mark 9:14-29, Luke 9:37-49

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.  My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. - Psalm 28:7

A lesson about faith and prayer.


DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight

MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight



(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA: Fantastic! How are you today, Miss Dilly?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair.

MISS REBECCA: I seem to recall hearing last summer that you were raising money to build chicken coops for homeless chickens.

DILLY: Yes, the Lord laid that burden on my heart, and I have been diligently obedient to that calling.

MISS REBECCA: I’m glad to hear that. How’s it going?

DILLY: Well, lately raising money has been about as easy as trying to steer a herd of cats.

MISS REBECCA: I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?

DILLY: With the bad economy, people are tighter than my Aunt Bessie’s corset. No matter what we do, we’re having trouble raising money.

MISS REBECCA: What have you tried?

DILLY: We tried a kissing booth. We even had that cute Elly Mae working. She’s a cute as a basket full of speckled puppies.

MISS REBECCA: How’d that work out.

DILLY: Not so good. It turns out that chickens to not have lips. She nearly put out the eyes of three roosters before we had to shut it down.S

MISS REBECCA: That’s too bad. What else did you try?

DILLY: Next we had a picnic. It was in a very lovely park, and we even had it catered.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a good idea.

DILLY: It was, but unfortunately, the caterer served fried chicken.

MISS REBECCA: But everyone likes fried… Oh!

DILLY: Oh, indeed. That caterer was as sharp as a bagful of wet mice.

MISS REBECCA: I hope you won’t give up. It is such a good cause.

DILLY: I won’t give up ‘til the gravy’s cold, but I am running out of ideas.

MISS REBECCA: Have you prayed about it?

DILLY: Oh heavens no!

MISS REBECCA: No? Why not?

DILLY: This is a special mission given to me by God. I’m not about to go back to Him and tell Him I can’t do it.

MISS REBECCA: Prayer isn’t giving up. God chose you, but He didn’t intend for you to do it alone.

DILLY: Well, I do have Flora helping me.

MISS REBECCA: That’s great, but I mean that God wants to help you. We aren’t suppose to do His work by our own strength but by His strength.

DILLY: Well, if that don’t sauté my gizzard. That is such a relief. It’s exhausting do this by myself.

MISS REBECCA: Some things can be worked out only by prayer.

DILLY: Well, I couldn’t be more excited if there was a shoe sale. I just know we are going to make tremendous progress now with God’s help. I must go at once and start praying. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Backstage Epiphany

Scripture Reference: Matthew 17:1-13, Mark 9:2-13, Luke 9:28-36

A lesson about mountaintop experiences.
Peter said to Jesus, 'Rabbi, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.' (He did not know what to say, they were so frightened.) - Mark 9:5-6
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MR.MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight


(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

MR. MIKE: (after praying) Time to turn your attention to the puppet stage for our puppet show. (long pause) Our puppet show! (long pause) Are you back there, Ozzie?


MR. MIKE: Are you coming out?


MR. MIKE: Be a good fellow and come out and talk to the kids.

OZZIE: Um… No.

MR. MIKE: Why not?

OZZIE: Well, Mr. Mike, I was back here praying while you and the kids were praying.

MR. MIKE: That’s good.

OZZIE: And I had a deep spiritual experience.

MR. MIKE: That’s wonderful, Ozzie. But why aren’t you coming out?

OZZIE: I’ve realized that this is a special place, because I heard from God here. So I’ve decided to stay backstage.

MR. MIKE: For how long?

OZZIE: Forever.

MR. MIKE: Forever?

OZZIE: That’s the plan.

MR. MIKE: How do you plan to eat?

OZZIE: (mystically) I figured God would send ravens to feed me and tend to my needs. (casually) Or Squiggly can fetch me some Twinkies.

SQUIGGLY: (appears and nods)

MR. MIKE: What about school?

OZZIE: I won’t miss school. Besides, Squiggly can bring me my homework.

SQUIGGLY: (nods)

MR. MIKE: What about chores at home?

OZZIE: I’m spending time with God here. I’m sure my mom will understand. If not, then Squiggly can do my chores for me.

SQUIGGLY: (shakes head no)

MR. MIKE: But what about all the fine boys and girls?

OZZIE: What about them?

MR. MIKE: They are waiting on you. They learn so much from you.

OZZIE: You don’t say.

MR. MIKE: I do say. The kids need you, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Squiggly can handle it.

SQUIGGLY: (faints)

MR. MIKE: Apparently not. It’s great to spend time in God’s presence, but God also wants you doing things to make a difference in people’s lives and telling people about Him.

OZZIE: Seriously?

MR. MIKE: Seriously. Now be a good fellow and come on out.

OZZIE: (appears) OK. (pause) Now what?

MR. MIKE: Share with them our lesson for today.

OZZIE: (very seriously) Our lesson for today is… (dramatic pause, clears throat, the says quickly) what Mr. Mike said. (disappears)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Carotene 200

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:22-33, Mark 6:45-52, John 6:16-21
Peter walked upon the water, not for diversion or to boast of it, but to go to Jesus; and in that he was thus wonderfully borne up. Special supports are promised, and are to be expected, but only in spiritual pursuits; nor can we ever come to Jesus, unless we are upheld by his power. – Matthew Henry
A lesson about keeping your eyes on Jesus.

D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. ELIJAH – the teacher who sets him straight

A big carrot (preferably with leaves)

(MR. ELIJAH begins on stage.)

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Elijah.

MR. ELIJAH: D.B., just the bunny I wanted to see. I have a message for you from your mother.

D.B.: Really? What did she…? (spots the carrot) Oooo!

MR. ELIJAH: What’s the matter, D.B.?

D.B.: (no response)


D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: (waving hand in from his face) D.B.!

D.B.: (still staring) Huh?

MR. ELIJAH: What you staring at?

D.B.: (dreamily) That.

MR. ELIJAH: You mean the carrot?

D.B.: That is not just any carrot. That is a Carotene 200.

MR. ELIJAH: A what?

D.B.: A Carotene 200. A selection of the Autumn King type, with deep orange, heavy conical carrots up to 27cm in length, with strong foliage. It keeps well in the ground and stores for a long period, keeping its flavor. 475 seeds.

MR. ELIJAH: How do you know so much about carrots?

D.B.: I am a rabbit, silly. (still staring at the carrot)

MR. ELIJAH: Anyway, your mom wanted me to tell you that she won’t be home after church, so you’re suppose to go to your Uncle Thumper’s house.

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: D.B., are you listening?

D.B.: (snapping out of it) What? Of course I am listening.

MR. ELIJAH: We, you didn’t seem to be…

D.B.: I am a very good listener.

MR. ELIJAH: I’m sure you are, but…

D.B.: After all, I have great big rabbit ears.

MR. ELIJAH: So does my television, but that doesn’t make it a good listener. So tell me what I said.

D.B.: Huh?

MR. ELIJAH: If you were listening, what did I say?

D.B.: What did you say? Um… You said she’s going to play bunco with a rubber mouse.


D.B.: Go juggle a grumpy louse?


D.B.: Go smuggle a lumpy grouse?


D.B.: Go snorkel a monkey joust?

MR. ELIJAH: That doesn’t even make sense.

D.B.: No, I guess not. I am sorry. I was so distracted by the Carotene 200 (looks & sighs) that I did not really listen. Please tell me again what my mom said.

MR. ELIJAH: She said to go to your Uncle Thumper’s house.

D.B.: That makes a lot more sense.

MR. ELIJAH: I imagine it does.

D.B.: Is that all, Mr. Elijah?

MR. ELIJAH: That’s it, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Elijah.


D.B.: Bye, Carotene 200. (exits)

Monday, January 3, 2011

Looking for a Sleight Advantage

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:13-21, Mark 6:31-34, Luke 9:10-17, John 6:5-15

A lesson about the Bread of Life.
Jesus answered, 'The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.' - John 6:29
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight


(MR. MATT begins on stage.)

DILLY: Mr. Matt!

MR. MATT: Hi, Dilly. How’s it going?

DILLY: I’m as frazzled as a handful of Twizzlers.

MR. MATT: What’s the matter?

DILLY: I’m having a little luncheon at my house today, and I have been working around the cluck to get it ready.

MR. MATT: Do you need some help setting up?

DILLY: I have some help. Flora is helping, and that’s the problem.

MR. MATT: Why is Flora the problem?

DILLY: Don’t get me wrong, Flora is an outstanding worker, but she is a softy, bless her heart.

MR. MATT: What’s wrong with that?

DILLY: In this case, she felt bad that some had not been invited to my luncheon and proceeded to invite them.

MR. MATT: That was nice of her.

DILLY: But she did not consider that some of them are the hoi polloi, and I had chosen not to invite them.

MR. MATT: Anyway, what do you need me for?

DILLY: Well, we are sorely lacking in victuals, so I was hoping you could show me that trick that Jesus did.

MR. MATT: What trick are you talking about?

DILLY: Y’all know that one. When he fed the 5000 folks that bitty bit of fish and bread. Knowing that would be as useful as a shirt pocket.

MR. MATT: That wasn’t a trick; that was a miracle.

DILLY: I’ll say. And it’ll take a miracle to pull off this luncheon after what Flora did.

MR. MATT: No, I mean it wasn’t a sleight of hand. Jesus performed a miracle when He fed the 5000 with five loaves and two fish.

DILLY: That’s what I’m getting at. How can I do that? And does it work with feed corn?

MR. MATT: He didn’t pull more food out of His sleeve or from behind someone’s ear. Jesus created the food.

DILLY: Well, I can’t do that!

MR. MATT: Exactly. Jesus is God and, despite what you may think, you aren’t.

DILLY: Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud! I get it now! How excitin’! We can make do with the food we have or have potluck or figure something out. I now have the most scintillating topic of discussion for our luncheon. I must find Flora and share the news. (exits)

MR. MATT: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)