Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Make-A-Scene – Peeper Edition
David, Nabal, and Abigail

PeepersScripture Reference: 1 Samuel 25


Three signs: YEA!, BOO!, AHH!

(The cast acts out the actions as the Narrator describes them. The audience will react to the cast appropriately.)

Before we begin our story, you will need some instructions. Each time I say David’s name, I will raise this sign and you will say “Yea!” Let’s practice.

Each time I say Nabal’s name, I will raise this sign and you will say “Boo!” Let’s practice.

Each time I say Abigail’s name, I will raise this sign and you will say “Ahh!” Let’s practice.

We’re ready to go.

Our story today is about David (YEA!), Nabal (BOO!), and Abigail (AHH!). Our story opens with the death of Samuel. (SAMUEL dies) And all of Israel mourned him.

Meanwhile, David (YEA!) is in the Desert of Moan near the property of Nabal (BOO!), who was a very wealthy man. Nabal (BOO!) was married to an intelligent and beautiful woman named Abigail (AHH!)

David (YEA!) sent 10 of his men to greet Nabal (BOO!) and ask for food in return for having watched over his shepherds. Nabal (BOO!) told them the men that he would not give anything to a bunch of runaway servants.

This made David (YEA!) very mad. He took 400 men and prepared to attack Nabal (BOO!)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Abigail (AHH!) heard about her husband’s terrible manners and David’s (YEA!) kindness.

Abigail (AHH!) lost no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys. Then she told her servants, "Go on ahead; I'll follow you." But she did not tell her husband Nabal (BOO!).

Meanwhile, David (YEA!) is heading down to slaughter Nabal (BOO!) and his men. When Abigail (AHH!) saw David (YEA!), she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before him with her face to the ground. She said that he should blame her and that he should pay no attention to Nabal (BOO!). His name means Fool, and that is what he is.

David (YEA!) called off the attack, forgave Nabal (BOO!), and praised Abigail (AHH!) for good her judgment and for preventing bloodshed.

When Abigail (AHH!) went to Nabal (BOO!), he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing until morning when he was sober. When Abigail (AHH!) told him everything, his heart failed him, he became like a stone, and he died ten days later.

When David (YEA!) heard that Nabal (BOO!) was dead, he said, "Praise be to the Lord, who has upheld my cause against Nabal (BOO!) for treating me with contempt. He has kept his servant from doing wrong and has brought Nabal's (BOO!) wrongdoing down on his own head."

The David (YEA!) and Abigail (AHH!) got married, and they lived happily ever after. The end.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Ain’t No Moe

Scripture Reference: 1 Samuel 25
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. – 1 Samuel 13:7
A lesson in kindness and humility.

OZZIE – a mischievous little monster
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Bible (for Mr. Matt)

(MR. MATT is on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: Mr. Matt, Mr. Matt, I need your help.

MR. MATT: Hey, Ozzie. What’s up?

OZZIE: There’s a kid at school named Alfonso Pasquale, and he doesn’t believe in God. I need a Bible verse to use with him.

MR. MATT: Let’s see. A verse that proves God exists…

OZZIE: No, I’m looking for a verse that proves Alfonso Pasquale is a numbskull.

MR. MATT: Ozzie! You’re not going to find a verse like that.

OZZIE: Now you tell me. I’ve read all of Paul’s letters, and he never once uses the word numbskull.

MR. MATT: Of course not.

OZZIE: Maybe I should use a concordance. How do you spell “knucklehead”?

MR. MATT: No, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Is "lamebrain" one or two words?

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

OZZIE: Or maybe…

MR. MATT: Ozzie! You’re not going to find any of those words in the Bible.

OZZIE: Well, then how am I gonna prove that not believing in God makes him a numbskull?

MR. MATT: You can’t. Besides, that’s completely the wrong approach.

OZZIE: It is? Maybe I should bonk him in the head. Hi-ya!

MR. MATT: Don’t bonk him in the head.

OZZIE: How about I poke him in the eyes?

MR. MATT: Why would you poke him in the eyes?

OZZIE: That’s what Moe on the Three Stooges would do.

MR. MATT: I don’t think Moe is a very good role model for evangelism.

OZZIE: Probably not. Then what should I do?

MR. MATT: Be nice.

OZZIE: Be nice. Be nice. Be nice. That’s all you ever say.

MR. MATT: That’s because it works. Haven’t you ever heard it’s easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar?

OZZIE: What’s that gotta do with anything? I’m not trying to convince flies to believe in God!

MR. MATT: I mean that your friend sees God in your words and your actions.

OZZIE: Yikes!

MR. MATT: Exactly. You’re going to do a better job convincing him that God exists by being nice to him than by trying to prove he is a numbskull or giving him an eye gouge.

OZZIE: Because God is about loving people, not poking them in the eye.

MR. MATT: Right.

OZZIE: But love takes such a long time. Are you sure I can’t bonk him in the head just once?

MR. MATT: Not even once.

OZZIE: How about if I bonk him softly?

MR. MATT: Not even softly.

OZZIE: How about if…

MR. MATT: Ozzie! Don’t bonk him at all.

OZZIE: Okay, okay. No bonking.

MR. MATT: No eye gouging.

OZZIE: No eye gouging.

MR. MATT: No nothing.

OZZIE: Nothing?

MR. MATT: Nothing!

OZZIE: Then I better go.

MR. MATT: Go where?

OZZIE: I gotta go get the pepper-flavored gum from Alfonso Pasquale before he eats it. (exits)

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Bold Is Beautiful

Scripture Reference: 1 Samuel 17

A lesson in boldness and faith.

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. – 1 Samuel 13:7Cast:
OZZIE – a mischievous little monster
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight


(MISS REBECCA is on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: (sadly) Hi, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Hi, Ozzie. Is there something wrong? You seem sad.

OZZIE: Well, you see there’s this kid at school who doesn’t have any friends, and it really bums me out.

MISS REBECCA: Why doesn’t he have any friends?

OZZIE: The other kids make fun of him, because he talks funny.

MISS REBECCA: You should be able to identify with that.

OZZIE: How so?

MISS REBECCA: Well, uh… You see…

OZZIE: Spit it out. What makes you think I could identify with someone who talks funny?

MISS REBECCA: Hmmm. Never mind. So why don’t you be his friend?

OZZIE: Oh, I couldn’t do that. Then the other kids would make fun of me for hanging out with him.

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie! You shouldn’t worry so much about what the other kids think. You should do what’s right. You need to be bold.

OZZIE: Oh, no! I don’t want to be bold! I’d look really silly without any hair!

MISS REBECCA: Not BALD, BOLD. Someone who is bold is brave and willing to take risks.

OZZIE: But I’m just a cute little monster. I can’t stand up against everyone by myself.

MISS REBECCA: You won’t be by yourself.

OZZIE: You mean my pet worm Squiggly? I don’t think he’s gonna be much help.

MISS REBECCA: I don’t mean Squiggly. I mean your always with…

OZZIE: (sarcastically) I know, I know. I’m not by myself, because God is with me. You always say that.

MISS REBECCA: That’s because it’s always true.

OZZIE: Yeah, but still…

MISS REBECCA: The book of Proverbs tells us that “the righteous are as bold as a lion.”

OZZIE: Does that mean I have to roar and chase zebras?


OZZIE: Good. Cause I don’t know what I’d do with a zebra if I caught one anyway.

MISS REBECCA: It means that like lions aren’t afraid of anything, you shouldn’t be afraid of anything either, because you always have God on your side.

OZZIE: I guess that’s true. With God on my side, it’s not really a fair fight.


OZZIE: Plus there’s Squiggly.

MISS REBECCA: Can’t forget Squiggly.

OZZIE: Oh, no. Squiggly would never let you forget him.

MISS REBECCA: So are you ready to make friends with the new kid?

OZZIE: I sure am! I just gotta do one thing first.

MISS REBECCA: What’s that?

OZZIE: Go find a barber to shave me, so I can be bold. (exits)


Monday, May 10, 2010

Blood and Guts Not Required

Scripture Reference: 1 Samuel 16:1-13
Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. – 1 Samuel 16:7
A lesson in how “the Lord looks at the heart.”

D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Headband/bandana (for D.B. to wear)
Dollar bill (real or fake)

(MISS REBECCA is on stage. D.B. enters out of breath. Panting, he spins around, moans, and collapses.)

MISS REBECCA: (concerned) D.B., are you all right?

D.B.: (breathlessly) I see a tunnel with a bright light.


D.B.: I am going down the tunnel.


D.B.: And at the end of the tunnel there is… There is…


D.B.: A carrot.

MISS REBECCA: (annoyed) D.B.

D.B.: (snickers) Hi, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: What were you doing that left you so out of breath?

D.B.: I was exercising.

MISS REBECCA: Oh. Are you trying to get into shape?

D.B.: I already am a shape. I am bunny-shaped.

MISS REBECCA: No, I mean are you trying to get healthy?

D.B.: Oh, yes. I need to be much stronger if I am going to serve God.

MISS REBECCA: God doesn’t really care if you’re strong, Sweetie.

D.B.: Hmmm. Then He must want good looks. I sure hope so, because I am awfully cute.

MISS REBECCA: (amused) You are awfully cute, but God doesn’t really care how good looking you are.

D.B.: I was afraid you would say that.

MISS REBECCA: Why’s that?

D.B.: Well, if it is not being strong or handsome, then God must be looking for someone really smart like… like…

MISS REBECCA: Thomas Edison?

D.B.: Smarter.

MISS REBECCA: Albert Einstein?

D.B.: Smarter.

MISS REBECCA: Stephen Hawking?

D.B.: Smarter.

MISS REBECCA: I’m not sure who’s smarter than Stephen Hawking.

D.B.: Mr. Jeff.

MISS REBECCA: Mr. Jeff is smarter than Stephen Hawking?!?

D.B.: (looking down) Did I get that right, Mr. Jeff?

MR. JEFF: Yes. Thanks, D.B. (hands up dollar bill)

MISS REBECCA: Did Mr. Jeff pay you to say that?

D.B.: (holding dollar bill in mouth) No.

MISS REBECCA: It doesn’t matter, because God really doesn’t care how smart you are.

D.B.: (drops dollar) Oh. (pause) So God only wants weak, ugly, stupid people?

MISS REBECCA: Not exactly. You see God cares about what’s in your heart.

D.B.: God cares about my blood?!?

MISS REBECCA: Not your actual heart. He cares about your character. God is able to use people who are humble and obedient and loving.

D.B.: Ah. (catching on) So God cares about what on my inside, not what is on my outside.


D.B.: But not my blood and guts.

MISS REBECCA: But not your blood and guts.

D.B.: Good, because I do not have any blood and guts. (stage whisper) I am a puppet.

MISS REBECCA: Right. He cares about you being humble, obedient, and loving, which you are, D.B.

D.B.: Aw shucks. You are not so bad yourself.

MISS REBECCA: Thank you.

D.B.: Hey! That means I can get started right away.

MISS REBECCA: After all that exercise, you might want to take a shower first.

D.B.: (sniffs) I thought that was you, Miss Rebecca.


D.B.: (snickers) Bye, Miss Rebecca.


Monday, May 3, 2010

Here I Am, Lord

Scripture Reference: 1 Samuel 3

A lesson in responding to God.

Now word from Yahweh was rare in those days and visions were uncommon. But one night when Samuel was lying down in the Temple of Yahweh, Yahweh called out, 'Samuel! Samuel!' - 1 Samuel 3:1-4Cast:
OZZIE – a mischievous little monster
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight


(MISS STARR is on stage talking to the kids.)

MISS STARR: Last week we finished the book of Judges, and this week we are staring First Samuel. Today we are going to talk about, you guessed it, Samuel. He was…

OZZIE: (enters confused) Huh? What? Eh? Did you call me, Miss Starr?

MISS STARR: No, Ozzie, I didn’t call you. I was just telling the kids about Samuel.

OZZIE: Oh. Well, I was taking a little snooze, and I thought I heard someone call my name. It musta been a dream.

MISS STARR: I guess so. You can go back to your nap.

OZZIE: Thanks. (exits)

MISS STARR: As I was saying, Samuel is seen as the last of the judges and the first of the major prophets. According to the book of Samuel, he was the one who anointed the first two kings of Israel: Saul and David. His mother…

OZZIE: (enters) What? What? What do you want?

MISS STARR: What’s the matter, Ozzie?

OZZIE: You called my name again.

MISS STARR: It wasn’t me.

OZZIE: (suspiciously) Well, someone did.

MISS STARR: I promise it wasn’t me, and I didn’t see any of the kids do it. Maybe you were dreaming again.

OZZIE: No, I was dreaming that I was playing freeze tag with my pet worm Squiggly.

MISS STARR: Maybe Squiggly called your name.

OZZIE: That’s just silly! Worms can’t talk!

MISS STARR: But they can play freeze tag?

OZZIE: It was a dream.

MISS STARR: Oh, yeah. Anyway, no one called your name.

OZZIE: (still suspicious) Okay. (starts to exit but does a double or triple take)

MISS STARR: That’s so weird. So where was I? That’s right: Samuel’s mom prayed to have a baby. When God gave her Samuel, she dedicated him to God, and he was raised by the priest Eli. When Samuel was 13, God called him one night. At first, he thought it was Eli calling him. (pauses thoughtfully) huh. (looking toward the stage) I wonder if…

OZZIE: (enters shouting) Please stop calling my… (noticed MISS STARR looking at him) Oh, hi.

MISS STARR: Did someone call your name again?

OZZIE: Yeah! How’d you know?

MISS STARR: Lucky guess.

OZZIE: And I suppose you are going to continue to deny that it was you.

MISS STARR: Yes, I am, but I think I know who it was.

OZZIE: Sweet! Who was it? I bet it was Hayley. (stage whisper) I’ve never really trusted her.

MISS STARR: No, it wasn’t Hayley.

OZZIE: I didn’t think so, because she’s so nice. Then who was it?


OZZIE: God? Why would God be calling me?

MISS STARR: I don’t know, but I think you need to spend some time in prayer and find out.

OZZIE: I will certainly do that right after my siesta.

MISS STARR: Sounds like a good plan.

OZZIE: But can I ask you for a favor first?

MISS STARR: Sure. What is it?

OZZIE: If God calls again, can you please take a message and let me sleep. (exits)