Monday, August 30, 2010

This Looks Like a Job for Job

Scripture Reference: Job 1:13-22

A skit that demonstrates that we should worship in times of trouble.

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised. - Job 1:21bCast:
MIKE – Worship Leader
MATT – Person who doesn’t know how to worship

Bible for MIKE opened to the book of Job.

(During the first song, MATT stops sings. He sits down looking sad and dejected.)

MIKE: What are you doing, Mr. MATT? Don’t tell me you are embarrassed by singing?


MIKE: You don’t still think it’s girly or undignified?


MIKE: Then what is it?

MATT: Nothing.

MIKE: It’s not nothing. You look like someone popped your balloon.

MATT: I’ve just had a bad week. I don’t want to go into detail.

MIKE: Well, if you want to talk…

MATT: It’s just that we’ve been on the road a lot, and there’s more work that can be done. I have customers screaming for help and not enough time to help them. The phone keeps ringing, I am getting hundreds of email…

MIKE: I’m sorry to hear…

MATT: Then I think I’m going to get a break for the weekend and my car breaks down and the toilet overflows and the lawn needs mowing and …

MIKE: I’m glad you don’t want to go into detail.

MATT: What? Oh, sorry. Anyway, I’m just not up to worshiping. Worship is all about feelings, and I just don’t feel like it.

MIKE: Worship is a lot more than just about your feelings. It isn’t just supposed to engage your heart. It is suppose to engage your mind, body, and spirit. In the book of John, Jesus says that “true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth.”

MATT: Yeah, but if you’ve had a bad day…

MIKE: Ever heard of Jōb? [NB: ō indicates to use a long O, as in "robe".]

MATT: I don’t think so.

MIKE: You know, Jōb – in the Bible. J-O-B, Jōb.

MATT: I thought it was pronounced job.

MIKE: No, it’s Jōb.

MATT: Did he have a brother named Bōb?

MIKE: What?!?

MATT: Bōb. B-O-B.

MIKE: That would be Bob.

MATT: And did he eat corn on the cōb?


MATT: What about him?

MIKE: What about who?


MIKE: That’s Jōb, and he had a REALLY bad day. One day a messenger came to him and told him that his enemy had stolen all his oxen & donkeys and killed all his servants working in the fields.

MATT: I bet that made him sōb.

MATT: That’s sob. Then another messenger came to tell him that fire had fallen from the sky and killed all the sheep and shepherds.

MATT: That’s bad, but…

MIKE: Then another messenger came to tell him that raiders had carried off his camels and killed his servants.

MATT: That’s really bad, but…

MIKE: Then another messenger…

MATT: Not another messenger!

MIKE: Yep, another messenger. This one came to tell him that while his sons and daughters were all together, a huge wind came up, blew down the house, and killed them all.

MATT: Yikes! That is a REALLY bad day! I had a great day compared to all of that!

MIKE: That is probably one of the worst days anyone’s ever had.

MATT: And you’re going to tell me that Jōb worshiped God after all of that?!?

MIKE: Yes. Jōb 1:20-21 says: Then he fell to the ground in worship and said, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."

MATT: How could he do that? He just had his family wiped out?

MIKE: When we remember that God is our Redeemer and that He truly loves us, we can rest in the knowledge that He is in control even when we don’t understand the reasons for what is happening.

MATT: But how can I do that?

MIKE: You have to prepare. You can’t wait until things get hard to trust God. You have to practice that when things are good. Spend time in His Word, talk with Him in prayer, stand in His presence in worship. You have to KNOW you can trust Him BEFORE the bad times. In the bad times, you will want to doubt, it’s only natural. But if you have a foundation of trust already, you can stand on that foundation when the trust is hard.

MATT: So worship is like getting into shape. You can’t wait until you are in the middle of a football game to start working out. You have to do that before the game, so that you are prepared.

MIKE: Exactly. Worship is part of what makes us healthy Christians. And when we are in difficult times in our lives, it reminds us that God is our Rock and our Redeemer.

MATT: Wow! If Jōb can worship after all of that, I guess I can, too.

MIKE: That’s our jōb.

MATT: Now don’t YOU start that!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

You Didn’t Make Your Bed, So You’re in the Doghouse

Scripture Reference: Jonah 1-4
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13
A lesson about obedience.

D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight


(Opens with MR. MIKE on stage.)

D.B.: (enters & collapses from exhaustion)

MR. MIKE: Hey, D.B. What’s wrong?

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Mike. I am worn out.

MR. MIKE: Why are you so worn out?

D.B.: My mama asked e to make my bed.

MR. MIKE: Making your bed wore you out?

D.B.: Of course not!

MR. MIKE: Well, it sounded like…

D.B.: Do I look some sort of baby bunny?

MR. MIKE: No, but…

D.B.: I can make my bed without getting worn out.

MR. MIKE: I was just going by what you said…

D.B.: Besides, I did not even make my bed.

MR. MIKE: D.B.! Why in the world did you make your bed?

D.B.: It is not fun making by bed. I wanted to do something fun.

MR. MIKE: Do did you play?

D.B.: No, I hided.

MR. MIKE: That doesn’t sound like much fun. Where’d you hide?

D.B.: I tried to hide in the bathroom.

MR. MIKE: How’d that work out for you?

D.B.: With 98 brothers and sisters, not so good. Our bathroom sees a lot of action.

MR. MIKE: I imagine it does. SO what did you do next?

D.B.: I tried the pantry, but it was too small. I tried the den, but it was too big. I tried the attic, but it was too high. I tried the basement, but it was too low. I tried the oven, but it was too hot. I tried to freezer, but it was too cold. Then I tried the doghouse, and it was just right.

MR. MIKE: The doghouse? Was that a good place to hide?

D.B.: It was, until the dog showed up.

MR. MIKE: Oh, was he mad you were in his house?

D.B.: No, he wanted to play. He started to bark and to wrestle and to chase me around and to give me his slobbery ball.

MR. MIKE: You can’t have that. Your mother might notice.

D.B.: Exactly.

MR. MIKE: So what did you do?

D.B.: I climbed up a tree to get away.

MR. MIKE: Did that work?

D.B.: Oh yes! Until I discovered that I had climbed too high, and I was too scared to climb down.

MR. MIKE: Oh my. What did you do?

D.B.: I did not do anything. I was afraid to move.

MR. MIKE: How’d you get down?

D.B.: My mama heard the dog barking and saw him chase me up the tree. I told her I was oh so sorry for not making my bed, and could she please help me get down.

MR. MIKE: And did she?

D.B.: Of course. My mama is a very good mama.

MR. MIKE: Of course she is. So did you learn your lesson?

D.B.: Oh, yes. I will never try to hide in the doghouse again.

MR. MIKE: No, that it’s easier to be obedient than to try to run away from it.

D.B.: Oh, that. But I was going to make my bed — eventually.

MR. MIKE: Delayed obedience is disobedience. It’s always better to be obedient right away.

D.B.: I guess you are right. It I had made my bed when my mama told me to, I would already be done. I would have been playing instead of stuck up a tree.

MR. MIKE: You got it. What are you going to do now, D.B.?

D.B.: I am going to go make my bed.

MR. MIKE: That’s a good fellow.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Bye, D.B.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Little Monsters

Scripture Reference: Mark 10:13-16

A lesson in the importance of children’s ministry.
And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. - Mark 10:16
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
CHRIS – the worship leader who sets him straight


(Note: Our pastor was out yesterday, and I was asked to deliver the message and share my heart about children's ministry. I started with this puppet skit.)

(CHRIS is on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: Hey, Mr. Chris.

CHRIS: Hi, Ozzie.

OZZIE: (noticing the sanctuary) Wow! This is a swell place you have here, Mr. Chris. It’s enormous.

CHRIS: (amused) This isn’t my place. This is the sanctuary. Haven’t you been in here before?

OZZIE: No. When I visit your church, I just go to the children’s church room with Mr. Jeff and Mr. Mike and Mr. Matt and… Hey, there’s Miss Rebecca. Hi, Miss Rebecca! (give her a chance to respond and possibly some interaction)And there’s Miss Starr all the way back there. Hi, Miss Starr! (give her a chance to respond and possibly some interaction)

CHRIS: So do you like it in here?

OZZIE: Yeah! It’s sweet! And you sure sing better than Mr. Jeff.

JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can hear you.

OZZIE: (looks down then shrugs) And when I go to monster church, they never let the little monsters go in the sanctuary.

CHRIS: Why not?

OZZIE: They say we’re too little and we can go in when we get bigger.

CHRIS: But don’t you have grown-ups who come back to your classroom?

OZZIE: They really don’t like being back there.

CHRIS: Why’s that?

OZZIE: Would you want to be in a room full of little monsters?

CHRIS: I see your point, but you have some grown-ups who help, don’t you?

OZZIE: Oh, sure. And we have lots of fun.

CHRIS: Like what?

OZZIE: We sing songs.

CHRIS: Bible songs?

OZZIE: No. But we have stories.

CHRIS: Bible stories?

OZZIE: No. We do memorize verses.

CHRIS: Bible verses?


CHRIS: Do you use the Bible at all?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah! We use one to prop up one end of our big screen TV.

CHRIS: Big screen TV?

OZZIE: Yeah! This morning we started watching Braveheart. Our teachers say that it has great spiritual significance.

CHRIS: Doesn’t anyone actually read the Bible?

OZZIE: Oh, no. The teachers say they have a hard time understanding all of the Bible, so there’s no way we kids could ever understand it.

CHRIS: But don’t the teachers here read the Bible when you visit?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah. And they memorize verses.

CHRIS: Bible verses?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they have stories.

CHRIS: Bible stories?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they sing songs.

CHRIS: Bible songs?

OZZIE: Yeah. But they do have to listen to Mr. Jeff sing them.

JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can still hear you.

OZZIE: (looks down then back at Chris) So kids really can learn stuff from the Bible?

CHRIS: They sure can.

OZZIE: I think I’m gonna talk to my teachers about using the Bible more.

CHRIS: That’s a great idea, Ozzie.

OZZIE: But I think I’m gonna wait a week before I tell them.

CHRIS: Why wait?

OZZIE: Because I want to see how Braveheart ends. (exits)

CHRIS: Ozzie!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Bowling for Dillies

Scripture Reference: Esther 1-10

A lesson in “for such a time as this.”
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight


(MISS STARR begins on stage when DILLY enters.)

DILLY: Good morning, Miss Starr.

MISS STARR: Hi, Dilly. How are you doing?

DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair, but it has been a most harrowing day.

MISS STARR: Oh my. What happened?

DILLY: Well, I was crossing the road…

MISS STARR: To get to the other side?

DILLY: (annoyed) No. I was going to meet Flora to go see a movie.

MISS STARR: A chick flick?

DILLY: You’re about as funny as a duck on a cold winter’s morning.

MISS STARR: Sorry. Go on.

DILLY: As I was saying, I went to get Flora, and I thought she had laid an egg – a huge, black egg.

MISS STARR: Oh my. Tell me, does it hurt to lay an egg?

DILLY: It’s a bit like blowing a potato…

MISS STARR: That doesn’t sound so bad.

DILLY: Out of your nose.


DILLY: Ouch, indeed. So you can just imagine how much it would hurt to lay an egg the size of a bowling ball.

MISS STARR: That big? Is Flora okay?

DILLY: Oh, she’s finer that a dog hair split three ways. Turns out that it really was a bowling ball.

MISS STARR: That’s good, but why was there a bowling ball in the chicken coop?

DILLY: I reckon one of them good-for-nothing roosters left it there.

MISS STARR: What did you do with it?

DILLY: Well, it was a rental, so Flora and I resolved to return it to the bowling alley.

MISS STARR: That was very thoughtful of you.

DILLY: I am nothing if not thoughtful and understanding. Besides, I knew that sluggard would never to it himself.

MISS STARR: Regardless, it was very nice of you.

DILLY: It was more than nice; it was downright heroic.

MISS STARR: Heroic? How so?

DILLY: Well, I only weigh six pounds soaking wet.

MISS STARR: (silently stares incredulously)

DILLY: Okay, eight pounds. The point being, that I weigh significantly less than that bowling ball.

MISS STARR: What did you do?

DILLY: We decided to roll it.

MISS STARR: That was clever.

DILLY: We thought so, too. ‘Til we go to the hill.

MISS STARR: Oh no! What happened?

DILLY: Well, there were ten people standing at the bottom of the hill lined up just like bowling pins.

MISS STARR: Did you make a strike?

DILLY: Fortunately, we are abysmal bowlers, and it was a gutter ball.


DILLY: Don’t “phew” yet. The ball rolled up the curb and flew into the air.

MISS STARR: (flinching) And?

DILLY: Landed in the mud.

MISS STARR: That’s good.

DILLY: Not for the ten people at the bottom of the hill.

MISS STARR: Oh dear.

DILLY: They had so much mud on them that they looked like pigs that had been wallerin’ in the mud.

MISS STARR: I bet they were mad.

DILLY: They were madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three-legged cat, so we hightailed it outta there with that bowling ball.

MISS STARR: I’m glad you two were all right. Did you finally make it to the bowling alley?

DILLY: Yes, we did, and it took some convincing to get the proprietor to take the ball back.

MISS STARR: Why’s that?

DILLY: He accused us of steeling it. Can you imagine? I told him he was barking up the wrong tree.

MISS STARR: Of course. You’d never steel anything.

DILLY: Well, he finally remembered that it was that cocky little bantam rooster who had that ball, and he let us go.

MISS STARR: Good for you. Did you make it to your movie?

DILLY: We had just enough time to make it, but as we were leaving, we ran into that cocky little bantam. Well, I gave him a piece of my mind, when he explained that he’d gotten a phone call last night that his mamma had taken ill. He was so distraught that he left the alley with the ball.

MISS STARR: Did you see if you could help him?

DILLY: No, we were going to be late to our movie.

MISS STARR: Dilly! Who knows whether you had not come to the bowling alley for such a time as this?

DILLY: Whatever do you mean?

MISS STARR: Don’t you see that God got you exactly where He wanted you, so you could comfort and help that bantam and his mom?

DILLY: Well, tie me to an anthill and put jam in my ears! I do reckon you are correct, Miss Starr. I am much obliged. I will go now and comfort that young rooster.

MISS STARR: And don’t forget his mom. Maybe you can bring her some chicken soup. (realizes what she just said)

DILLY: That is just sick!

MISS STARR: Sorry. I forgot who I was talking to.

DILLY: That’s okay. Every dog should have a few fleas. (growing excitement) I could make his mamma a nice corn chowder and a loaf of 7-grain bread. Oh, and I have the loveliest dishes I could use. And I could make her some sweet tea. And… And… I need to bet busy. (quickly exits)

MISS STARR: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forget – bye, y’all! (exits)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

On the Bubble

Scripture Reference: Nehemiah 1-13

A lesson in rebuilding.
I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. – Psalm 13:5
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight


(MISS STARR is on stage talking to the children. OZZIE peaks over the stage and looks around. MISS STARR finally notices.)

MISS STARR: Ozzie, what in the world are you doing?

OZZIE: I’m making sure my mommy and daddy aren’t here.

MISS STARR: They aren’t here. Why are you avoiding them?

OZZIE: ‘Cause I’m not sure they love me any more.

MISS STARR: Ozzie! I’m sure your parents love you. Why would you think they don’t.

OZZIE: They were really mad at me, and they put me in timeout for 70 minutes.

MISS STARR: Why 70 minutes?

OZZIE: Because of my sister Izzie standing where she shouldn’t have been.

MISS STARR: You got 70 minutes of timeout, because Izzie was standing in the wrong place?

OZZIE: Yeah! I told her not to stand in front of me when I was chewing bubblegum, but she just stood there and kept talking to me.

MISS STARR: What was she talking to you about?

OZZIE: She was went on and on about how I wasn’t suppose to be chewing gum.

MISS STARR: Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place? You got a timeout for being disobedient. Did Izzie tattle?

OZZIE: Only after the bubble popped.

MISS STARR: What bubble?

OZZIE: The bubble that popped right where she was standing.

MISS STARR: It popped on Izzie?

OZZIE: Uh-huh.

MISS STARR: Was it a big bubble?

OZZIE: Oh yeah!

MISS STARR: How big?

OZZIE: You know how I got timeout for 70 minutes?


OZZIE: That was 10 minutes for every gum.

MISS STARR: You had 7 sticks of gum in your mouth?


MISS STARR: Then what did you have?

OZZIE: Ever hear of Bubble Tape?


OZZIE: I had 7 feet of gum.

MISS STARR: Ozzie! That’s too much gum!

OZZIE: Well, I know that now.

MISS STARR: How big was the bubble?

OZZIE: Have you ever seen Raiders of the Lost Ark?


OZZIE: You know that scene at the beginning where Indie switches the bag for the statue?

MISS STARR: The bubble was as big as the sack?


MISS STARR: As big as the statue?


MISS STARR: You don’t mean it was as huge as the ball that came rolling towards Indie, do you?

OZZIE: Uh-huh.

MISS STARR: Oh my! That must have completely covered your sister with gum.

OZZIE: Not completely. (pause) The bottoms of her feet didn’t get any gum on them.

MISS STARR: Ozzie! I can see why your parents were so made.

OZZIE: I know.

MISS STARR: Not only were you disobedient, but you made a huge mess.

OZZIE: I know. I know.

MISS STARR: So now you’re avoiding your parents.

OZZIE: They don’t love me any more.

MISS STARR: I’m sure they do love you, but they are also disappointed in you.

OZZIE: And mad.

MISS STARR: I’m sure they are.

OZZIE: Really mad.

MISS STARR: But you can fix it. You need to work on being obedient. Show them that you can be trusted.

OZZIE: But they are really, REALLY mad.

MISS STARR: They’ll get over it. Your parents will never stop loving you no matter how made they get.

OZZIE: Even when they are really, really, REALLY mad?

MISS STARR: Even then. You can rebuild your relationship.

OZZIE: Oh. Well, I think I’ve learned my lesson, Miss Starr.

MISS STARR: I’m glad to hear that, Ozzie.

OZZIE: And I’ve also learned not to blow bubbles with 7 feet of bubblegum.

MISS STARR: Well, I hope not.

OZZIE: Except when Izzie’s around. She looked so funny covered with gum. (exits)