Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Harvest Is Plentiful And the Workers Are Exhausted

Scripture Reference: Matthew 28:16-20, Acts 1:1-22, Matthew 9:37-38, Luke 10:2
The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. - Luke 10:2
A lesson about The Great Commission.

DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight


(DILLY enters exhausted.)

MR. MIKE: Hey, Dilly. How are you doing?

DILLY: I’m so tired I’m left-handed.

MR. MIKE: Why are you so tired?

DILLY: I was reading in the Bible that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.

MR. MIKE: That’s great that you’re still reading the Bible, but how did that make you so tired?

DILLY: Rein back your horse; you’re getting ahead of me.

MR. MIKE: Sorry. Go on.

DILLY: I’ve learned the hard way to be more obedient to what I read in the Bible, so I went to a farm and started harvesting crops.


DILLY: (indignant) “Oh” what?

MR. MIKE: I’m glad you’re taking the Bible seriously, but that’s not what that means.

DILLY: Well, don’t that just take the cake. Then what in the wide, wide world of sports does it mean?

MR. MIKE: It means that there are lots of people in the world who need to hear the Good News, but not enough people to tell it.

DILLY: Well, flip me over and call me done. That’s a whole lot easier. (talking to the kids) Hey you! God loves you. Hey you! Jesus died for your sins. Hey you! Accept Jesus or you’re going to H-E-double hockey sticks. Hey next kid! ...

MR. MIKE: Dilly!

DILLY: Hush! I’m busy spreading the Good News. (turning back to the kids) Hey you! Jesus loves you this I know. (continue until all of the kids have been spoken to)
There. That wasn’t so hard.

MR. MIKE: Dilly, there’s a lot more to it than that.

DILLY: Do tell.

MR. MIKE: Jesus said to go and make disciples of all nations and baptize them.

DILLY: Well, that’s easier than falling off a greased log. We can go down to the bathroom and baptize the whole lot of them right now.

MR. MIKE: We’re not baptizing these fine young ladies and fellows in the bathroom.

DILLY: Suit yourself, but if we did, we’d be done with it all.

MR. MIKE: That’s what I’m trying to say. We wouldn’t be done with it. Being saved is eternally important, but that’s not the end. Jesus said to make them disciples.

DILLY: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Mr. Mike, but the disciples are all dead.

MR. MIKE: The original ones are, but we are supposed to be disciples, too.

DILLY: Pull the other one.

MR. MIKE: Truthfully. Christians are supposed to be disciples, or students, learning to serve God and be pleasing to Him.

DILLY: Well, don’t that just pop out your monocle. All those people I told about Jesus left high and dry. I must go find them and make them disciples. (running back and forth) I gotta go to my neighbors. I gotta go to the feed store. I gotta go to my neighbors. I gotta go… (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Monday, May 23, 2011

I Can’t Believe I Ate the Hole Thing

Scripture Reference: John 21
What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?  By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? – Romans 6:1-2A lesson about forgiveness and hope.


OZZIE – an excitable little monster

MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight



(OZZIE peeks out of the puppet stage and talks to the kids.)

OZZIE: (whispering) Pssst. Have you guys seen Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: (steps into view) I’m right here, Ozzie.

OZZIE: (startled) Oh. Hi, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: What’s going on?

OZZIE: Not much. What’s going on with you?

MR. MIKE: I mean why don’t you come all the way out here?

OZZIE: Oh, I’m fine just here. No worries. Not feeling guilty about nothing. Nope, no guilt here. No reason for anybody to be mad. No reason for anybody to accuse anybody else of doing anything wrong. No reason for anybody to be so racked with guilt that I can’t see straight.

MR. MIKE: I do not know what you’re talking about.

OZZIE: Doughnut! I don’t know anything about any missing doughnuts. Are there doughnuts missing? Did Jessie tell you something? I never did trust her.

MR. MIKE: What? Oh. I didn’t say “doughnut.” I said “do not.” You are acting stranger than usual, Ozzie, and that’s saying a lot.

OZZIE: (coming on stage completely and flailing his arms) I can’t stand it anymore! You’ve forced the confession out of me! Yes, I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it! I stand before you as guilty as guilty can be.

MR. MIKE: What are you talking about?

OZZIE: You mean you don’t know?

MR. MIKE: Know what?

OZZIE: Oh. Never mind.

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

OZZIE: OK, OK, OK. You know how you bring doughnuts to church every week?

MR. MIKE: Yes.

OZZIE: I ate ‘em.

MR. MIKE: That’s OK. I bring them, so people can eat them.

OZZIE: No, you don’t understand. I at all of them.

MR. MIKE: (surprised) All of them?!?

OZZIE: Uh huh.

MR. MIKE: Oh my. That’s a lot of doughnuts.

OZZIE: I know. I’m a terrible little monster. I’ll understand if you never forgive me and hate me forever and ever and ever.

MR. MIKE: I’m not very happy with what you did, but I could never hate you.

OZZIE: Really?

MR. MIKE: Really. And I forgive you.

OZZIE: You do?

MR. MIKE: Of course I do. More importantly, God forgives you, too.

OZZIE: He does?!?

MR. MIKE: Never give up hope with God. If you go to Him and confess, He’s always ready to forgive you.

OZZIE: Wow! No matter what?

MR. MIKE: No matter what.

OZZIE: No matter how despicable I act?

MR. MIKE: No matter how despicable you act.

OZZIE: No matter how big I sin?

MR. MIKE: No matter how big you sin.

OZZIE: You’ll forgive me too, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Always. God forgives me. The least I can do is forgive others.

OZZIE: That’s great news.

MR. MIKE: Why’s that?

OZZIE: Cause I drank all the coffee, too. (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Happily Ever After

Scripture Reference: Many troublesome thoughts which disquiet our minds, rise from mistakes concerning Christ. - Matthew HenryLuke 24:13-35

A lesson about the nature of Jesus.


DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight

MR. MATT– the teacher who sets her straight


(MR. MATT is on stage.)

DILLY: Hi, Mr. Matt. How y'all doin'?

MR. MATT: Hi, dilly. I'm doing well. How are you?

DILLY: I'm finer than frog hair.

MR. MATT: I understand you were reading the Bible for Easter. How's it going?

DILLY: Oh, I had to stop before they killed Jesus.

MR. MATT: Why?

DILLY: 'Cause that's sadder than a dog without a nose.

MR. MATT: But you can't stop reading there.

DILLY: I most assuredly can. I don't do tragedy. I do the same thing in movies.

MR. MATT: What do you mean?

DILLY: When it looks like a movie is going to be a tragedy, I stop watching and make up my own ending.

MR. MATT: Like what?

DILLY: In my version of Old Yeller, the dog has a full recovery, he lives to a ripe old age, and they all live happily ever after.

MR. MATT: Dilly...

DILLY: And in my version of Titanic, the ship misses the ice berg, they make it to New York City, and they all live happily ever after.

MR. MATT: But that's not what happened.

DILLY: And in my version of Chicken Run, ...

MR. MATT: Wait. Chicken Run wasn't a tragedy.

DILLY: I know, but in my version Rocky Rhodes doesn't marry Ginger.

MR. MATT: Why not?

DILLY: Because he marries me, and we live happily ever after. That Rocky is handsomer than a timber wolf in a sport coat.

MR. MATT: I'm not even sure what that means, but you should watch the whole movie.

DILLY: I told you, I don't do tragedy. That's why I had to stop reading the Easter story in the Bible.

MR. MATT: That's what I was trying to tell you. That story is not a tragedy.

DILLY: I don't know how you define tragedy, Mr. Matt, but havin' the snot beat out of you and being murdered on a cross certainly sounds like a tragedy to me.

MR. MATT: I agree that those are horrible things, but that's not the end of the story.

DILLY: He was deader than a doornail. How can that not be the end of the story?

MR. MATT: Because he rose from the tomb three days later.

DILLY: Do go on.

MR. MATT: It's true. Most of Jesus' followers didn't believe it either, but he rose just as he said he would and just as it was prophesied in the Old Testament.

DILLY: Well, don't that just pepper my gumbo. Not finishing the story was a foolish has yankin' a dog's ear. (excited) I must go directly and finish the story. (exits quickly)

MR. MATT: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Monday, May 9, 2011

Schrödinger's Candy

Scripture Reference: John 20:19-31

A lesson about faith and doubt.
He is not here, He has risen, just as he said. – Matthew 28:6
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Bag of M&M's

(MR. MATT is on stage holding an unopened bad of M&M's.)

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: Hey, D.B.

D.B.: Whatcha got there?

MR. MATT: A bag of M&M's. (shows bag)

D.B.: What is inside the bag?

MR. MATT: (confused) M&M's.

D.B.: How do you know?

MR. MATT: Well, it says M&M's on the bag.

D.B.: I can see that.

MR. MATT: OK, then why...

D.B.: I know how to read.

MR. MATT: That's good, but...

D.B.: I don't know why you think I cannot read.

MR. MATT: Well, because you asked...

D.B.: I can definitely read, but how can you be sure there are really M&M's in your bag of M&M's?

MR. MATT: (shaking the bag) They sound like M&M's.

D.B.: But Skittles would sound like that, too.

MR. MATT: I suppose, but why would anyone put Skittles in an M&M's bag?

D.B.: (mysteriously) Why indeed?

MR. MATT: D.B. there are M&M's in my M&M's bag. It says M&M's on the bag. (shaking bag) They sound like M&M's. (sniffing) They even smell like M&M's.

D.B.: But you cannot see them. How can you be really, truly, absolutely sure?

MR. MATT: I guess it's faith. I don't always have to see something to know it is true. I know the sun will come up tomorrow morning even though I haven't seen it come up yet.

D.B.: Yeah, but the sun always comes up every morning.

MR. MATT: And every bag of M&M's I've ever opened had M&M's in it.

D.B.: I guess. But I am still not really, truly, completely, totally, 100%, absolutely, sure there are M&M's in there.

MR. MATT: Then why don't I open the bag and prove it once and for all.

D.B.: Great idea!

MR. MATT: (opens bag) Sure enough: M&M's.

D.B.: Let me see.

MR. MATT: (brings bag to D.B.) See?

D.B.: Closer.

MR. MATT: (brings bag closer) Can you see now?

D.B.: Closer.

MR. MATT: (brings bag closer) How about now?

D.B.: Perfect. (grabs bag) Bye, Mr. Matt. (exits)

MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Adore Way

Scripture Reference: John 20:10-18
He is not here, He has risen, just as he said. – Matthew 28:6
A lesson about adoration.

OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight


(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

MISS REBECCA: Today we are going to be talking about Mary Magdalene and adoration.

(OZZIE enters smacking his lips.)

OZZIE: That was de-licious.

MISS REBECCA: What was so good, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Oh. Hi, Miss Rebecca. I just had a sardine and sauerkraut sandwich. It was sensational.

MISS REBECCA: That's an interesting combination.

OZZIE: You should try it some time. I absolutely adore them.

MISS REBECCA: Funny you should mention adoring your sandwich, because we were just talking about adoration.

OZZIE: Strange how things happen like that in this class.

MISS REBECCA: Do you know what adore means?

OZZIE: Sure, I do! There's "adore" over there. Could you close it please. (laugh/snort)


OZZIE: Sorry, Miss Rebecca. Just teasing. Adore means to like somethin' a whole bunch like a sardine and sauerkraut sandwich.

MISS REBECCA: Sort of. It means to love something deeply. It comes from a Latin word meaning to give worship to something or someone.

OZZIE: Well, I don't like sardine and sauerkraut sandwiches that much.

MISS REBECCA: In Bible times, people would humble themselves to show adoration.

OZZIE: Kind of like Squiggly does with me.

(SQUIGGLY enters, shakes his head, then exits.)

MISS REBECCA: I don't know about that, but in Persia, people would bow before the king to show adoration.

OZZIE: I've seen stuff like that in the movies.

MISS REBECCA: Then they would have to kiss his knee.

OZZIE: Kiss his knee?!? Ew!! I never saw that in the movies.

MISS REBECCA: Then they'd have to fall on their face at his feet, striking the earth with the forehead...


MISS REBECCA: and kissing the ground.

OZZIE: Ew!! I don't know what's worse: kissing the king's knee or kissing the ground – and I've seen what Squiggly does on the ground.

(SQUIGGLY enters, stares at Ozzie, then exits.)

MISS REBECCA: The Jews would show adoration with a kiss.

OZZIE: That's more like it. I know I've kissed my sardine and sauerkraut sandwich before.

MISS REBECCA: But you don't really give it adoration do you?

OZZIE: It's awfully yummy, but I don't worship it. So, no.

MISS REBECCA: I didn't think so.

OZZIE: But I do adore a good sushi and succotash soufflé. (exits quickly)