Monday, July 25, 2011

The Great Cow-mission

Scripture Reference: Acts 10:1-11:18

A lesson about who can be saved.
God has made these things clean, so don’t call them unholy! - Acts 10:15 (NCV)
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE– the teacher who sets her straight


(MR. MIKE begins on stage)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Mike?

MR. MIKE: If I were any better I couldn’t stand it. How are you, Dilly?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair.

MR. MIKE: The last time I saw you I believe you were rushing off to carry out the Great Commission. How’s that going?

DILLY: I’ve been busier than a stump-tailed cow in fly season. I’ve been sharing the Good News and making disciples of all the chickens.

MR. MIKE: What about the other animals?

DILLY: What about them?

MR. MIKE: Aren’t you going to tell them the Good News?

DILLY: Whatever for? They’re just vulgar, dirty creatures, bless their hearts.

MR. MIKE: Dilly! That’s a terrible thing to say.

DILLY: I’m sure their mamas love them, but I’m just saying…

MR. MIKE: What about cows? They seem decent enough.

DILLY: Have you ever met a cow? Did you know they spit up their food and chew it again? Disgusting.

MR. MIKE: What about pigs?

DILLY: They’re even worse. You know what they say: When you fight with a pig you both get dirty, but the pig likes it.

MR. MIKE: Ducks?

DILLY: Mr. Mike, you’re not supposed to read the stage directions.

MR. MIKE: I’m not supposed to duck. I’m asking, what about ducks? They are birds like you?

DILLY: They are not birds like me. They are a few kernels shy of cob.

MR. MIKE: Sheep?

DILLY: Dirty. Nasty.

MR. MIKE: Dogs?

DILLY: Slobbery!

MR. MIKE: Cats?

DILLY: (sing-songy) Hairballs.

MR. MIKE: So there aren’t any animals other than chickens deserving of your attention?

DILLY: No! They are all dirtier than a college student’s laundry.

MR. MIKE: That sounds mighty dirty. But the Bible says, “God has made these things clean, so don’t call them unholy!” (Acts 10:15 NCV)

DILLY: Oh my! Don’t that just dill my pickle. I cannot believe I have so many folks to talk to . Where to start? Where to start? (running back & forth) The cows. No, the dog. No, the sheep. No, the poor, pitiful ducks. (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

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