Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The Gift Card of God

Scripture Reference: Acts 8:9-25
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. – 1 Corinthians 16:13
A lesson about giftedness.

DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight


(MR. MATT begins on stage)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Matt?

MR. MATT: Great, dilly. How are you?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair, but I having a mite of trouble.

MR. MATT: Maybe I can help.

DILLY: I hope so. I’m looking for your gift shop.

MR. MATT: We don’t have a gift shop.

DILLY: Fiddle-dee-dee.

MR. MATT: Is that a problem?

DILLY: Flora’s birthday is coming up, and I wanted to get her something extra special.

MR. MATT: What did you have in mind?

DILLY: Well, I was reading in the Bible about the gift of God, so I thought I’d get that for her.

MR. MATT: Get what for her?

DILLY: The gift of God.

MR. MATT: (incredulous) The gift of God?

DILLY: Actually, I don’t know her size, so I thought I would just get her the gift card of God.

MR. MATT: You can’t get Flora the gift of God.

DILLY: My heavenly days! Why not? She’s sweeter than Tupelo honey.

MR. MATT: It’s not a question of how sweet she is. That’s just not how you get the gift of God.

DILLY: Oh, is it something I have to get off the interwebs?

MR. MATT: No. First, you can’t give someone else the gift of God. That’s something that only God can give.

DILLY: Do tell.

MR. MATT: Second, the gift has already been paid for by Jesus’ death on the cross. You just have to accept it. That’s why it is called a gift.

DILLY: Well, butter my tail and call me a biscuit. I’ll have to be sure to tell Flora that she can get this gift straight from God.


MR. MATT: Is that it?

DILLY: I believe so. Why?

MR. MATT: You usually get all worked up and go rushing out of here.

DILLY: I realized that I’d gotten into that rut, so I’m turning over a new leaf. I’ve decided not to run around like a squirrel in a cage any more.

MR. MATT: Good for you. I figured you’d be frantic about coming up with a different gift for Flora’s birthday.

DILLY: (frantic) A gift! For Flora! Oh my! It plum skipped my mind! And she’s so hard to shop for, bless her heart. I must get to the store directly. (exits quickly)

MR. MATT: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

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