Monday, July 19, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Flood
Scripture Reference: 2 Kings 5
A lesson in our expectations for God.
Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
none
(MISS REBECCA is on stage when D.B. enters.)
D.B.: Hi, Miss Rebecca. How are you today?
MISS REBECCA: Hey, D.B. I’m doing fine. I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?
D.B.: I have been on vacation with my mama and dad and brothers and sisters.
MISS REBECCA: How many brothers and sisters do you have?
D.B.: 98.
MISS REBECCA: Your parents have 99 children? Why not 100?
D.B.: That would be ridiculous.
MISS REBECCA: Sorry, I just thought…
D.B.: 100 kids!
MISS REBECCA: Okay, never mind…
D.B.: Who do you think we are? Bun & Kate Plus 108?
MISS REBECCA: I guess I wasn’t thinking. So where’d you go for your vacation?
D.B.: We went to Nashville.
MISS REBECCA: Haven’t they had a lot of flooding there?
D.B.: Yes. We did not mean to go there, but we should have made a left turn at Albuquerque.
MISS REBECCA: It really bugs me when that happens. So did you have a good time?
D.B.: It was a lot of fun until I got caught up in a flash flood.
MISS REBECCA: (very concerned) Oh dear! What happened?
D.B.: I climbed up on a building, and the water quickly rose up to the first floor.
MISS REBECCA: What did you do?
D.B.: Well, a boat came to rescue me.
MISS REBECCA: That’s great!
D.B.: But I sent it away.
MISS REBECCA: Why in the world did you do that?!?
D.B.: I told them I had prayed to God and go rescue someone who has less faith.
MISS REBECCA: Good grief! What happened next?
D.B.: The water kept rising and soon it was up to the second floor. I cried out to God, and soon a helicopter came.
MISS REBECCA: Thank God! I hope you had the sense to get on it.
D.B.: Oh no. I told them I had prayed to God and go save someone who has less faith.
MISS REBECCA: D.B.! How did you get saved?
D.B.: I did not. The water finally covered the building, and I floated away.
MISS REBECCA: Oh my! What happened?!?
D.B.: I died.
MISS REBECCA: (dubiously) You died?
D.B.: Yes, I died and went to heaven. When I met God I told Him that I had prayed to be saved. Why did He not save me?
MISS REBECCA: And what did He say?
D.B.: He said, “I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want?”
MISS REBECCA: (annoyed) D.B., that’s an old joke.
D.B.: (snickers) I know, Miss Rebecca, but I like that joke.
MISS REBECCA: But you know what? It ties in very well with our lesson today?
D.B.: Really?
MISS REBECCA: Yes, we are going to read a story about a man named Naaman. He wanted something from God, and he was disappointed when God didn’t do it in the way he thought it should be done.
D.B.: He must have thought he was smarter than God.
MISS REBECCA: Maybe. Sometimes we put expectations on how God should do something, and we miss it when He does it His way.
D.B.: Well, I know if God sent a boat for real to rescue me, I would get in.
MISS REBECCA: Good for you. I guess you’re a lot smarter than Naaman.
D.B.: That is not saying much. Well, I better go unpack, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: Okay, D.B.
D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.
A lesson in our expectations for God.
Cast:D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
none
(MISS REBECCA is on stage when D.B. enters.)
D.B.: Hi, Miss Rebecca. How are you today?
MISS REBECCA: Hey, D.B. I’m doing fine. I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?
D.B.: I have been on vacation with my mama and dad and brothers and sisters.
MISS REBECCA: How many brothers and sisters do you have?
D.B.: 98.
MISS REBECCA: Your parents have 99 children? Why not 100?
D.B.: That would be ridiculous.
MISS REBECCA: Sorry, I just thought…
D.B.: 100 kids!
MISS REBECCA: Okay, never mind…
D.B.: Who do you think we are? Bun & Kate Plus 108?
MISS REBECCA: I guess I wasn’t thinking. So where’d you go for your vacation?
D.B.: We went to Nashville.
MISS REBECCA: Haven’t they had a lot of flooding there?
D.B.: Yes. We did not mean to go there, but we should have made a left turn at Albuquerque.
MISS REBECCA: It really bugs me when that happens. So did you have a good time?
D.B.: It was a lot of fun until I got caught up in a flash flood.
MISS REBECCA: (very concerned) Oh dear! What happened?
D.B.: I climbed up on a building, and the water quickly rose up to the first floor.
MISS REBECCA: What did you do?
D.B.: Well, a boat came to rescue me.
MISS REBECCA: That’s great!
D.B.: But I sent it away.
MISS REBECCA: Why in the world did you do that?!?
D.B.: I told them I had prayed to God and go rescue someone who has less faith.
MISS REBECCA: Good grief! What happened next?
D.B.: The water kept rising and soon it was up to the second floor. I cried out to God, and soon a helicopter came.
MISS REBECCA: Thank God! I hope you had the sense to get on it.
D.B.: Oh no. I told them I had prayed to God and go save someone who has less faith.
MISS REBECCA: D.B.! How did you get saved?
D.B.: I did not. The water finally covered the building, and I floated away.
MISS REBECCA: Oh my! What happened?!?
D.B.: I died.
MISS REBECCA: (dubiously) You died?
D.B.: Yes, I died and went to heaven. When I met God I told Him that I had prayed to be saved. Why did He not save me?
MISS REBECCA: And what did He say?
D.B.: He said, “I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want?”
MISS REBECCA: (annoyed) D.B., that’s an old joke.
D.B.: (snickers) I know, Miss Rebecca, but I like that joke.
MISS REBECCA: But you know what? It ties in very well with our lesson today?
D.B.: Really?
MISS REBECCA: Yes, we are going to read a story about a man named Naaman. He wanted something from God, and he was disappointed when God didn’t do it in the way he thought it should be done.
D.B.: He must have thought he was smarter than God.
MISS REBECCA: Maybe. Sometimes we put expectations on how God should do something, and we miss it when He does it His way.
D.B.: Well, I know if God sent a boat for real to rescue me, I would get in.
MISS REBECCA: Good for you. I guess you’re a lot smarter than Naaman.
D.B.: That is not saying much. Well, I better go unpack, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: Okay, D.B.
D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Gravity Brings Me Down
Scripture Reference: 1 Kings 18
A lesson in truth and the one true God.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
Something to make crashing sounds (e.g., pots & pans)
(MISS REBECCA is on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: (from backstage) SQUAWK! (rustling then crashing)
MISS REBECCA: Dilly! Are you okay?
DILLY: (enters) Why I’m finer than frog hair, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: What in the world was all that commotion?
DILLY: Oh that. I was simply attempting to fly.
MISS REBECCA: Fly? Dilly, chickens can’t fly. They can’t get enough lift to overcome gravity.
DILLY: Well, that is a popular perception, but I have been studying on this subject. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t believe in gravity.
MISS REBECCA: Don’t believe in gravity?!? Gravity is a fact, not just a matter of opinion.
DILLY: That would be your opinion.
MISS REBECCA: Then how to explain that things always fall down instead of up?
DILLY: It’s a cultural thing. We as a culture have decided that we prefer that things fall down, so they fall down.
MISS REBECCA: So if I decided that I’d prefer that things fall up, they’d fall up?
DILLY: I do declare that you are beginning to latch on.
MISS REBECCA: Oh I “latch on.” I just don’t agree.
DILLY: Then you are as close-minded as a vault door.
MISS REBECCA: I don’t want to be so open-minded, though, that my brains fall out.
DILLY: Well, I’ve never been so insulted.
MISS REBECCA: (aside) The day’s still early.
DILLY: I beg your pardon!
MISS REBECCA: Nothing. So how’s the whole not-believing-in-gravity thing working out for you?
DILLY: Not as well as I’d hoped. It seems that every time I try to fly, I fall to earth like a bag of wet cement.
MISS REBECCA: And why do you think that is?
DILLY: Maybe if I just believe harder.
MISS REBECCA: Really? You already believed hard enough to try to fly. Do you really think you could believe harder?
DILLY: Maybe a bitty bit harder.
MISS REBECCA: It wouldn’t help. When something is true, it’s true no matter how hard you believe or don’t believe it.
DILLY: Well if that don’t put the pepper in the gumbo.
MISS REBECCA: Some things are just true: gravity, mathematics, God.
DILLY: Well of course God is true. You’d have to be a few fries short of a Happy Meal to think that God isn’t true.
MISS REBECCA: Exactly. God is true. Gravity is true.
DILLY: Oh my lands! I need to find Flora quicker than a rat up a drain. I fear I may been a bit too convincing in telling her gravity isn’t real, because I do believe I heard her say something about going to the top of the chicken coop and trying to fly. Flora! FLORA! (exits quickly)
MISS REBECCA: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (disappears)
A lesson in truth and the one true God.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
Something to make crashing sounds (e.g., pots & pans)
(MISS REBECCA is on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: (from backstage) SQUAWK! (rustling then crashing)
MISS REBECCA: Dilly! Are you okay?
DILLY: (enters) Why I’m finer than frog hair, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: What in the world was all that commotion?
DILLY: Oh that. I was simply attempting to fly.
MISS REBECCA: Fly? Dilly, chickens can’t fly. They can’t get enough lift to overcome gravity.
DILLY: Well, that is a popular perception, but I have been studying on this subject. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t believe in gravity.
MISS REBECCA: Don’t believe in gravity?!? Gravity is a fact, not just a matter of opinion.
DILLY: That would be your opinion.
MISS REBECCA: Then how to explain that things always fall down instead of up?
DILLY: It’s a cultural thing. We as a culture have decided that we prefer that things fall down, so they fall down.
MISS REBECCA: So if I decided that I’d prefer that things fall up, they’d fall up?
DILLY: I do declare that you are beginning to latch on.
MISS REBECCA: Oh I “latch on.” I just don’t agree.
DILLY: Then you are as close-minded as a vault door.
MISS REBECCA: I don’t want to be so open-minded, though, that my brains fall out.
DILLY: Well, I’ve never been so insulted.
MISS REBECCA: (aside) The day’s still early.
DILLY: I beg your pardon!
MISS REBECCA: Nothing. So how’s the whole not-believing-in-gravity thing working out for you?
DILLY: Not as well as I’d hoped. It seems that every time I try to fly, I fall to earth like a bag of wet cement.
MISS REBECCA: And why do you think that is?
DILLY: Maybe if I just believe harder.
MISS REBECCA: Really? You already believed hard enough to try to fly. Do you really think you could believe harder?
DILLY: Maybe a bitty bit harder.
MISS REBECCA: It wouldn’t help. When something is true, it’s true no matter how hard you believe or don’t believe it.
DILLY: Well if that don’t put the pepper in the gumbo.
MISS REBECCA: Some things are just true: gravity, mathematics, God.
DILLY: Well of course God is true. You’d have to be a few fries short of a Happy Meal to think that God isn’t true.
MISS REBECCA: Exactly. God is true. Gravity is true.
DILLY: Oh my lands! I need to find Flora quicker than a rat up a drain. I fear I may been a bit too convincing in telling her gravity isn’t real, because I do believe I heard her say something about going to the top of the chicken coop and trying to fly. Flora! FLORA! (exits quickly)
MISS REBECCA: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (disappears)
Monday, June 28, 2010
The Skit With Lots of Exclamation Points
Scripture Reference: 1 Kings 17:7-24
A lesson in God’s provision.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR is on stage when OZZIE excitedly enters.)
OZZIE: Miss Starr! Miss Starr! Emergency! Help! Help! It’s terrible! It’s terrible!
MISS STARR: Slow down, Ozzie. What’s the matter?
OZZIE: My dad might lose his job! It’s terrible! It’s terrible!
MISS STARR: That certainly is bad.
OZZIE: Not bad – it’s terrible! It’s tragic! It’s a travesty!
MISS STARR: Ozzie, slow down. First of all, you’re borrowing trouble. Your dad hasn’t actually lost his job yet.
OZZIE: No, but if he does, it will be TERRIBLE! We’ll have no money! We’ll lose our house! We’ll starve! And Squiggly will try up to a string and blow away!
MISS STARR: Ozzie! Calm down. It’s not that bad.
OZZIE: Not that bad?!? Squiggly drying up to a withered little string and blowing away in a puff of dust isn’t just bad – IT’S TERRIBLE!
MISS STARR: That would be pretty terrible, buy why do you think that will happen?
OZZIE: Aren’t you listening?!? If my dad loses his job, WE’LL HAVE NO MONEY!
MISS STARR: But why are you putting all your faith in your dad’s job?
OZZIE: Because that’s where the money comes from!
MISS STARR: No, the money comes from God.
OZZIE: They why does my dad go to work everyday?
MISS STARR: Because that’s how God has chosen to provide for your family. If your dad loses his job, God will provide for your family in a different way.
OZZIE: So God is going to take care of us?
MISS STARR: Not only is he going to take care of you, He’s been taking care of you. That’s what the Bible promises.
OZZIE: So will God buy me a PlayStation?
MISS STARR: The Bible doesn’t promise that.
OZZIE: Oh.
MISS STARR: God promises to supply our daily needs. Sometimes he does this through natural means like a job. Sometimes He does it in supernatural ways that we can’t always understand. So do feel any better about the situation, Ozzie?
OZZIE: Yes, I do, Miss Starr. There’s just one thing.
MISS STARR: What’s that?
(SQUIGGLY appears)
OZZIE: Squiggly wants to know if God will buy him PlayStation?
(OZZIE quickly exists. SQUIGGLY looks between Ozzie and Miss Starr, gets scared, then exists quickly.)
MISS STARR: Squiggly!
A lesson in God’s provision.
Cast:OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR is on stage when OZZIE excitedly enters.)
OZZIE: Miss Starr! Miss Starr! Emergency! Help! Help! It’s terrible! It’s terrible!
MISS STARR: Slow down, Ozzie. What’s the matter?
OZZIE: My dad might lose his job! It’s terrible! It’s terrible!
MISS STARR: That certainly is bad.
OZZIE: Not bad – it’s terrible! It’s tragic! It’s a travesty!
MISS STARR: Ozzie, slow down. First of all, you’re borrowing trouble. Your dad hasn’t actually lost his job yet.
OZZIE: No, but if he does, it will be TERRIBLE! We’ll have no money! We’ll lose our house! We’ll starve! And Squiggly will try up to a string and blow away!
MISS STARR: Ozzie! Calm down. It’s not that bad.
OZZIE: Not that bad?!? Squiggly drying up to a withered little string and blowing away in a puff of dust isn’t just bad – IT’S TERRIBLE!
MISS STARR: That would be pretty terrible, buy why do you think that will happen?
OZZIE: Aren’t you listening?!? If my dad loses his job, WE’LL HAVE NO MONEY!
MISS STARR: But why are you putting all your faith in your dad’s job?
OZZIE: Because that’s where the money comes from!
MISS STARR: No, the money comes from God.
OZZIE: They why does my dad go to work everyday?
MISS STARR: Because that’s how God has chosen to provide for your family. If your dad loses his job, God will provide for your family in a different way.
OZZIE: So God is going to take care of us?
MISS STARR: Not only is he going to take care of you, He’s been taking care of you. That’s what the Bible promises.
OZZIE: So will God buy me a PlayStation?
MISS STARR: The Bible doesn’t promise that.
OZZIE: Oh.
MISS STARR: God promises to supply our daily needs. Sometimes he does this through natural means like a job. Sometimes He does it in supernatural ways that we can’t always understand. So do feel any better about the situation, Ozzie?
OZZIE: Yes, I do, Miss Starr. There’s just one thing.
MISS STARR: What’s that?
(SQUIGGLY appears)
OZZIE: Squiggly wants to know if God will buy him PlayStation?
(OZZIE quickly exists. SQUIGGLY looks between Ozzie and Miss Starr, gets scared, then exists quickly.)
MISS STARR: Squiggly!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Dilly-Dally
Scripture Reference: 1 Kings 11:9-13, 26-43, 1 Kings 12:1-24
A lesson in choices and consequences.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR is on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: Good morning, Miss Starr.
MISS STARR: Hi, Dilly. How’re you doing?
DILLY: I’m just finer than frog hair, but my life has sho’ been a whirlwind lately.
MISS STARR: Oh really? What’s going on?
DILLY: Well, about a year ago the Lord laid it on my heart to help the homeless chickens.
MISS STARR: That sounds like a wonderful thing to do.
DILLY: Well, I know it is, but some of those homeless chickens smell a might… Miss Starr, have you ever smelled an old sneaker?
MISS STARR: Yes. They don’t smell too good.
DILLY: Well, imagine if it had been worn by a fish…
MISS STARR: Dilly!
DILLY: covered in stinky cheese and cabbage.
MISS STARR: That’s not nice at all!
DILLY: Well, it’s just the truth. It doesn’t make them bad, but I’m just saying…
MISS STARR: So did you help them?
DILLY: Well, I spent a lot of time in God’s Word and praying, and I felt convicted to do it. I didn't want to do it, but I did it anyway.
MISS STARR: That’s wonderful. How’d it go?
DILLY: I got together with some other hens, and we raised money and built the most darling chicken coops you ever saw.
MISS STARR: I bet God really blessed you for your obedience.
DILLY: Oh, He has! I met the loveliest bunch of hens, and we absolutely adore spending time with one another.
MISS STARR: That’s great.
DILLY: Oh, it is. We have lunch with one another, go shopping, play pinochle. We have had more fun than a flea at a dog show.
MISS STARR: I’m so happy for you. Are you still raising money to build chicken coops?
DILLY: Well, we’ve been spending so much time at our hen parties that we really don’t have time for that any more.
MISS STARR: Have you prayed about that?
DILLY: I’ve been intendin’ to, but I’ve been busier than a bee in tar bucket.
MISS STARR: And how’s that working out for you?
DILLY: Well, now that you mention it, none too well. My friend Flora and I were remarking just the other day that we were happier when we were busy raising money for those smelly chickens that we are now just having fun.
MISS STARR: That’s because you are outside of God’s plan for you. He loves it that you’re blessed with good friends, but you can’t let those friends take the place of God.
DILLY: (excitedly) I declare that I do believe y’all are right. I need to mend my ways. I am going to call Flora and the girls directly and get to work raising money for chicken coops again. (exits quickly)
MISS STARR: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!
MISS STARR: Bye, Dilly.
A lesson in choices and consequences.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR is on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: Good morning, Miss Starr.
MISS STARR: Hi, Dilly. How’re you doing?
DILLY: I’m just finer than frog hair, but my life has sho’ been a whirlwind lately.
MISS STARR: Oh really? What’s going on?
DILLY: Well, about a year ago the Lord laid it on my heart to help the homeless chickens.
MISS STARR: That sounds like a wonderful thing to do.
DILLY: Well, I know it is, but some of those homeless chickens smell a might… Miss Starr, have you ever smelled an old sneaker?
MISS STARR: Yes. They don’t smell too good.
DILLY: Well, imagine if it had been worn by a fish…
MISS STARR: Dilly!
DILLY: covered in stinky cheese and cabbage.
MISS STARR: That’s not nice at all!
DILLY: Well, it’s just the truth. It doesn’t make them bad, but I’m just saying…
MISS STARR: So did you help them?
DILLY: Well, I spent a lot of time in God’s Word and praying, and I felt convicted to do it. I didn't want to do it, but I did it anyway.
MISS STARR: That’s wonderful. How’d it go?
DILLY: I got together with some other hens, and we raised money and built the most darling chicken coops you ever saw.
MISS STARR: I bet God really blessed you for your obedience.
DILLY: Oh, He has! I met the loveliest bunch of hens, and we absolutely adore spending time with one another.
MISS STARR: That’s great.
DILLY: Oh, it is. We have lunch with one another, go shopping, play pinochle. We have had more fun than a flea at a dog show.
MISS STARR: I’m so happy for you. Are you still raising money to build chicken coops?
DILLY: Well, we’ve been spending so much time at our hen parties that we really don’t have time for that any more.
MISS STARR: Have you prayed about that?
DILLY: I’ve been intendin’ to, but I’ve been busier than a bee in tar bucket.
MISS STARR: And how’s that working out for you?
DILLY: Well, now that you mention it, none too well. My friend Flora and I were remarking just the other day that we were happier when we were busy raising money for those smelly chickens that we are now just having fun.
MISS STARR: That’s because you are outside of God’s plan for you. He loves it that you’re blessed with good friends, but you can’t let those friends take the place of God.
DILLY: (excitedly) I declare that I do believe y’all are right. I need to mend my ways. I am going to call Flora and the girls directly and get to work raising money for chicken coops again. (exits quickly)
MISS STARR: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!
MISS STARR: Bye, Dilly.
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