Tuesday, July 30, 2013

He's a Prophet, Dude

Scripture Reference:  OT Prophets

A skit about Biblical prophecy.

            PROPHET – an OT prophet
            DUDE – a lizard


(PROPHET enters.)

PROPHETGood morning.  I am an Old Testament prophet.  I understand that you will be studying Old Testament prophets, (DUDE enters) so I thought I'd make myself available to see if you have…

DUDE:  (nudges PROPHET) Hey!

PROPHET:  …to see if you have any…

DUDE:  (nudges PROPHET) Hey, prophet man!

PROPHET:  (quickly) …see if you have any questions.  (turning to DUDE, annoyed) Yes?

DUDE:  I have a question.

PROPHET:  Very good.  What is it young…  Um.  Uh.

DUDE:  Dude.  My name is Dude.

PROPHET:  What is it, Dude?

DUDE:  So you're a profit?

PROPHET:  Yes, I am.

DUDE:  Great!  I'm trying to buy a new Nintendo DS and could use some profit.

PROPHET:  Not P-R-O-F-I-T profit.  P-R-O-P-H-E-T prophet.  A person who speaks for God.

DUDE:  So you can't help me make money?

PROPHET:  I'm afraid not, Dude.  Most prophets lead a humble life.  At one point, the prophet Elijah was eating food brought to him by ravens.

DUDE:  Do you think you could get one of those ravens to bring me a Nintendo DS?


DUDE:  A Chase McCain video game?


DUDE:  Then can you tell me when I'll have enough money to buy a Nintendo DS?

PROPHET:  I'm not a fortune teller.

DUDE:  But I thought prophets could see the future.

PROPHET:  Prophets speak for God.  Sometimes God gives us a glimpse at the future to warn people to change their ways or to give hope to people feeling hopeless.

DUDE:  It would make me feel a lot less hopeless if I knew when I'd have enough money to get my Nintendo DS.

PROPHET:  Sorry, that's not the way God works, Dude.

DUDE:  Hmmm.  Well, do you have any gold?


DUDE:  Or silver or diamonds or rubies?

PROPHET:  What are you talking about now?

DUDE:  I just thought maybe you were a miner prophet and had some gold or gems or something.

PROPHET:  Not M-I-N-E-R miner.  M-I-N-O-R minor.  It refers to prophets who wrote shorter books and has nothing to do with mining.

DUDE:  Bummer.  So can you do anything to help me get a Nintendo DS?

PROPHET:  I can tell you that if you continue to make a Nintendo DS your idol, you will come to ruin.

DUDE:  Not really what I was looking for.

PROPHET:  That's all I got, Dude.

DUDE:  Oh, well.  Dude abides.  (exits)

PROPHET:  Thank you for your time this morning, children.  And remember you are loved with an everlasting love and underneath are the everlasting arms!  (exits)

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