Scripture Reference: OT Prophets
A skit about Biblical prophecy.
PROPHET – an OT prophet
DUDE – a lizard
PROPHET: Good morning. I am an Old Testament prophet. I understand that you will be studying Old Testament prophets, (DUDE enters) so I thought I'd make myself available to see if you have…
DUDE: (nudges PROPHET) Hey!
PROPHET: …to see if you have any…
DUDE: (nudges PROPHET) Hey, prophet man!
PROPHET: (quickly) …see if you have any questions. (turning to DUDE, annoyed) Yes?
DUDE: I have a question.
PROPHET: Very good. What is it young… Um. Uh.
DUDE: Dude. My name is Dude.
PROPHET: What is it, Dude?
DUDE: So you're a profit?
PROPHET: Yes, I am.
DUDE: Great! I'm trying to buy a new Nintendo DS and could use some profit.
PROPHET: Not P-R-O-F-I-T profit. P-R-O-P-H-E-T prophet. A person who speaks for God.
DUDE: So you can't help me make money?
PROPHET: I'm afraid not, Dude. Most prophets lead a humble life. At one point, the prophet Elijah was eating food brought to him by ravens.
DUDE: Do you think you could get one of those ravens to bring me a Nintendo DS?
DUDE: A Chase McCain video game?
DUDE: Then can you tell me when I'll have enough money to buy a Nintendo DS?
PROPHET: I'm not a fortune teller.
DUDE: But I thought prophets could see the future.
PROPHET: Prophets speak for God. Sometimes God gives us a glimpse at the future to warn people to change their ways or to give hope to people feeling hopeless.
DUDE: It would make me feel a lot less hopeless if I knew when I'd have enough money to get my Nintendo DS.
PROPHET: Sorry, that's not the way God works, Dude.
DUDE: Hmmm. Well, do you have any gold?
DUDE: Or silver or diamonds or rubies?
PROPHET: What are you talking about now?
DUDE: I just thought maybe you were a miner prophet and had some gold or gems or something.
PROPHET: Not M-I-N-E-R miner. M-I-N-O-R minor. It refers to prophets who wrote shorter books and has nothing to do with mining.
DUDE: Bummer. So can you do anything to help me get a Nintendo DS?
PROPHET: I can tell you that if you continue to make a Nintendo DS your idol, you will come to ruin.
DUDE: Not really what I was looking for.
PROPHET: That's all I got, Dude.
DUDE: Oh, well. Dude abides. (exits)