Monday, April 23, 2012

Trinity Trip Up

Scripture Reference: Matthew 3:13-17, Luke 3:21-22

A lesson on the Trinity.

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. - John 14:16-17
GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight


(MR. MIKE starts on stage.)

GRANNY: Good morning, dears.

MR. MIKE: Good morning, Granny.

GRANNY: What are you folks doing this morning?

MR. MIKE: Well, I was just about to tell the kids what we're going to be studying today.

GRANNY: It would mean the world to me if you'd let me do that – if it's no imposition.

MR. MIKE: If it means that much to you, please go ahead.

GRANNY: Thank you, dearie. (turns to kids, stares for a moment with mouth open as if about to speak, then turns to MR. MIKE) What are we studying today?

MR. MIKE: If you don't know, why'd you ask to tell them?

GRANNY: Because it is such a delight imparting knowledge to these bright young minds.

MR. MIKE: I understand.

GRANNY: Or at least most of them.

MR. MIKE: Granny!

GRANNY: I'm just saying…

MR. MIKE: Well, we are going to be studying the Trinity today.

GRANNY: Boys and girls. Boys and girls. Please pay attention. I have something very important to tell you. Today we will be studying the Trinity.

MR. MIKE: Very nice.

GRANNY: The Trinity is a 710-mile long river located in northeast Texas.

MR. MIKE: Wait…

GRANNY: It was discovered by the French explorer La Salle in 1687 and named "the Most Holy Trinity" in 1690 by Alonso De León.

MR. MIKE: That's not the right…

GRANNY: The Trinity has five branches: the West Fork, the Clear Fork, the North Wedge, the Elm Fork, and the East Fork.

MR. MIKE: I didn't mean the river…

GRANNY: It had become so polluted by the 70's that it was the subject of many jokes, including a song by the Folkel Minority.

MR. MIKE: Granny!

GRANNY: ♫♪ Roll mighty river/Roll on Trinity/Through the Texas blacklands/It oozes toward the sea./Roll on Muddy Buddy/Captain, ring your bell/We'll be to the Gulf by tomorrow night/If we can stand the smell. ♪♫

MR. MIKE: Granny!!

GRANNY: (unphased) Yes, dear?

MR. MIKE: We're not studying the Trinity River. We are studying the doctrine of the Trinity.

GRANNY: Well, that's completely different. The Trinity River is quite important but not compared studying the nature of God.

MR. MIKE: I can't argue with that.

GRANNY: Well, then I guess my work here is done.

MR. MIKE: Thank you for visiting with us today, Granny.

GRANNY: My pleasure. And remember, children: Don't cut your own bangs and read your Bible every day. Bye, dears. (exits)

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