A lesson on the Trinity.
GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight
(MR. MIKE starts on stage.)
GRANNY: Good morning, dears.
MR. MIKE: Good morning, Granny.
GRANNY: What are you folks doing this morning?
MR. MIKE: Well, I was just about to tell the kids what we're going to be studying today.
GRANNY: It would mean the world to me if you'd let me do that – if it's no imposition.
MR. MIKE: If it means that much to you, please go ahead.
GRANNY: Thank you, dearie. (turns to kids, stares for a moment with mouth open as if about to speak, then turns to MR. MIKE) What are we studying today?
MR. MIKE: If you don't know, why'd you ask to tell them?
GRANNY: Because it is such a delight imparting knowledge to these bright young minds.
MR. MIKE: I understand.
GRANNY: Or at least most of them.
MR. MIKE: Granny!
GRANNY: I'm just saying…
MR. MIKE: Well, we are going to be studying the Trinity today.
GRANNY: Boys and girls. Boys and girls. Please pay attention. I have something very important to tell you. Today we will be studying the Trinity.
MR. MIKE: Very nice.
GRANNY: The Trinity is a 710-mile long river located in northeast Texas.
MR. MIKE: Wait…
GRANNY: It was discovered by the French explorer La Salle in 1687 and named "the Most Holy Trinity" in 1690 by Alonso De León.
MR. MIKE: That's not the right…
GRANNY: The Trinity has five branches: the West Fork, the Clear Fork, the North Wedge, the Elm Fork, and the East Fork.
MR. MIKE: I didn't mean the river…
GRANNY: It had become so polluted by the 70's that it was the subject of many jokes, including a song by the Folkel Minority.
MR. MIKE: Granny!
GRANNY: ♫♪ Roll mighty river/Roll on Trinity/Through the Texas blacklands/It oozes toward the sea./Roll on Muddy Buddy/Captain, ring your bell/We'll be to the Gulf by tomorrow night/If we can stand the smell. ♪♫
MR. MIKE: Granny!!
GRANNY: (unphased) Yes, dear?
MR. MIKE: We're not studying the Trinity River. We are studying the doctrine of the Trinity.
GRANNY: Well, that's completely different. The Trinity River is quite important but not compared studying the nature of God.
MR. MIKE: I can't argue with that.
GRANNY: Well, then I guess my work here is done.
MR. MIKE: Thank you for visiting with us today, Granny.
GRANNY: My pleasure. And remember, children: Don't cut your own bangs and read your Bible every day. Bye, dears. (exits):