Monday, April 16, 2012

Just Down the Romans Road

Scripture ReferenceRomans, Ephesians 2:8
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. – Romans 5:8

A lesson on what it takes to be saved.

 DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
 MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight


(MISS REBECCA starts on stage.)

DILLY:  How y’all doin’, Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA:  Very well.  How are you, Dilly?

DILLY:  I’m finer than frog hair.

MISS REBECCA:  It’s been a while.  I remember you were having some problems with that bantam rooster.  How are things going with him these days?

DILLY:  I would prefer that you not speak about that scoundrel.

MISS REBECCA:  Why?  What happened?

DILLY:  I have been trying to witness to his sad self, but he could try the patience of an oyster.

MISS REBECCA:  What’s the problem?

DILLY:  He says he’s already saved.

MISS REBECCA:  Maybe he is.

DILLY:  He’s meaner than a skilletful of rattlesnakes.  There’s no way he could be saved.

MISS REBECCA:  Being mean doesn’t really prove anything one way or the other.  Does he admit he’s a sinner.

DILLY:  I don’t see how he couldn’t.  He’s as sinful as a pan o’ chocolate.

MISS REBECCA:  Is that a yes?

DILLY:  Yes, bless his heart.

MISS REBECCA:  Does he believe Jesus died for his sins?

DILLY:  I reckon he does.

MISS REBECCA:  Has he prayed for salvation?

DILLY:  He says he has, but he thinks all his geese are swans.

MISS REBECCA:  I say that I have to agree with him that he’s already saved.

DILLY:  He’s about as Christian as peanut butter.

MISS REBECCA:  How can you say that?

DILLY:  He’s never been to a tent revival.

MISS REBECCA:  That’s not really a requirement.

DILLY:  He doesn’t serve on any church committees.

MISS REBECCA:  We encourage everyone to be active, but it’s not a condition of salvation.

DILLY:  He doesn’t know all of the words to Amazing Grace.


DILLY:  And… (dramatically) he brought ice cream to the last potluck.

MISS REBECCA:  I like ice cream.  What’s wrong with that?

DILLY:  Everyone knows you have to bring a covered dish.

MISS REBECCA:  I don’t think that’s true.

DILLY:  I think it says that somewhere in the Bible.  Maybe in one of the little books near the back.

MISS REBECCA:  Dilly, all you need to do to be saved is have faith in Jesus.

DILLY:  Pull the other one; it’s got bells.

MISS REBECCA:  Ephesians 2:8 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.”

DILLY:  Well, shut the barn door, Newt, she’s headin’ for the rhubarb!  (excitedly) I must make amends directly, or I will be making another grievous mistake.  Like they say, “Two wrongs don't make a right, but six left turns will get you around the block and back in the driveway again.”  I’ve got to go find him now.   (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA:  (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY:  (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!  (exits)

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