A skit illustrating that life is empty without God.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm (all of Squiggly’s lines are “said” with a kazoo)
MAX – Ozzie’s boisterous pal
THE PUPPETEER – the one who brings life to the puppets
(The scene opens with OZZIE lying on stage motionless when MAX enters.)
MAX: Good morning, Ozzie. How are you doing?
OZZIE:
MAX: Yeah, I have days like that too, where I don’t feel much like talking. That’s why I start my day off with a coffee IV.
OZZIE:
MAX: You look lower than a bow legged caterpillar.Lemme tell you a joke to cheer you up. How does that sound?
OZZIE:
MAX: Great! You know how to make a tissue dance? (pause) Blow a little boogie into it. (laughs at his own joke)
OZZIE:
MAX: No. How about this one: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke Skywalker at dinner? (pause) May the forks be with you. (laughs at his own joke)
OZZIE:
MAX: Hmmm. I know, I know. Why did the chicken cross the playground? (pause) To get to the other slide. (laughs at his own joke)
OZZIE:
MAX: Hey, this is my best stuff, and you’re being quieter than a mouse sleeping in cotton. It’s time to bring out the big guns. Knock, knock.
OZZIE:
MAX: I said, “Knock, knock.”
OZZIE:
MAX: I said… (walks over and shakes OZZIE knocking him to the ground) Uh oh! (stares at ground in shock)
SQUIGGLY: (enters) Yoohoo!
MAX: Oh. Hey, Squiggly. (glancing at OZZIE) What’s wrong with Ozzie?
SQUIGGLY: (gives a long unintelligible answer; MAX peppers in Yeah’s and Uh-huh’s like he understands)
MAX: What in the name of Charlie McCarthy was he thinking. How does Ozzie think he could do anything without the puppeteer?
SQUIGGLY: (speaks)
MAX: That’s right. He’s just a lifeless lump of fabric without the hand of the puppeteer.
SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.
MAX: I’m sure the puppeteer would be happy to give Ozzie another chance. Would you take Ozzie to him?
SQUIGGLY: OK
(SQUIGGLY exits)
SQUIGGLY: (speaks offstage)
PUPPETEER: (offstage) Of course, I would, but it’s really up to Ozzie. Ozzie, do want my life in you?
OZZIE: (offstage) Yes, sir. (after a beat, OZZIE enters full of life and with a paroxysm) That’s much better!
MAX: Glad to see you back to your old self, Ozzie.
OZZIE: Me too, Max.
MAX: I hope you’ve learned your lesson.
OZZIE: And how! I was such a silly little monster. I know now that I need the hand of the puppeteer to give me life.
MAX: And you’re very blessed that he was willing to give you a second chance.
OZZIE: Yeah, he’s a swell guy that way. There’s just one thing I want to know. Whose hand gives life to the puppeteer?
MAX: That’s the silliest thing you’ve ever… (then realizes that it’s a good question) You know, that’s a very good question, Ozzie.
OZZIE: Of course it is. How?
MAX: We need the puppeteer's hand to bring us life; puppeteers need God's hand to bring them life.
OZZIE: Otherwise they're just lifeless lumps of fabric?
MAX: Something like that. Their sin takes away their life. When they become Christians, they are filled with God's life.
OZZIE: That's sweet!
MAX: Sweeter than my mama’s banana cream pie. Now that you’re back to yourself, lemme tell you that knock- knock joke.
OZZIE: (frantic) Oh snap! I may have been better off as lifeless lump of fabric! (runs of screaming)
MAX: Ozzie! (chases after OZZIE) Knock, knock! Knock, knock!
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