Monday, October 10, 2011

Vanity, Thy Name Is Ozzie

Scripture Reference: Ecclesiastes

A skit illustrating that life is empty without God.
Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. - Ecclesiastes 12:13
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm (all of Squiggly’s lines are “said” with a kazoo)
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight
THE PUPPETEER – the one who brings life to the puppets


(As MR. MATT ends prayer time, OZZIE is lying on stage motionless.)

MR. MATT: Good morning, Ozzie. How are you doing?


MR. MATT: Ozzie?


MR. MATT: Ozzie!


MR. MATT: Are you OK, Ozzie?


MR. MATT: (walks over and shakes OZZIE knocking him to the ground) What in the…? (stares at ground in shock)

SQUIGGLY: (enters) Yoohoo!

MR. MATT: Oh. Hey, Squiggly. (glancing at OZZIE) What’s wrong with Ozzie?

SQUIGGLY: (gives a long unintelligible answer; MR. MATT peppers in Yeah’s and Uh-huh’s like he understands)

MR. MATT: Why in the world would Ozzie think he could do anything without the puppeteer?

SQUIGGLY: I don’t know.

MR. MATT: He’s a puppet. He should know he has no life without the puppeteer.

SQUIGGLY: (speaks)

MR. MATT: That’s right. He’s just a lump of fabric without the hand of the puppeteer.


MR. MATT: I’m sure the puppeteer would be happy to give Ozzie another chance. Would you take Ozzie to him?


(MR. MATT picks up OZZIE and passes him into the puppet stage; SQUIGGLY exits)

SQUIGGLY: (speaks offstage)

PUPPETEER: (offstage) Of course, I would, but it’s really up to Ozzie. Ozzie, do want my life in you?

OZZIE: (offstage) Yes, sir. (after a beat, OZZIE enters full of life and with a paroxysm) That’s much better!

MR. MATT: Glad to see you back to your old self, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Me too, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: I hope you’ve learned your lesson.

OZZIE: And how! I was such a silly little monster. I know now that I need the hand of the puppeteer to give me life.

MR. MATT: And you’re very blessed that he was willing to give you a second chance.

OZZIE: Yeah, he’s a swell guy that way. There’s just one thing I want to know. Whose hand gives life to the puppeteer?

MR. MATT: (gets ready to say “Ozzie!” then realizes that it’s a good question) You know, that’s a very good question, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Of course it is. Adios!

MR. MATT: Bye, Ozzie.

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