Monday, October 24, 2011

My Splendid Vacation

Scripture Reference: Joshua 1, 3-4; Psalm 145:4-7

A lesson about memorials.

He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ - Joshua 4:20-21Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
PASTOR JOHN – the preacher who sets her straight

Sombrero, maracas

(PASTOR JOHN is on stage talking when DILLY enters singing.)

DILLY:  ¡La cucaracha, la cucaracha, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! 

PASTOR JOHN: Oh. Hi, Dilly.

DILLY: (with a bad accent) Hola, Pastoro John.

PASTOR JOHN: Looks like you're in a good mood this morning.

DILLY: Why I'm finer than frog hair.

PASTOR JOHN: I like the maracas.

DILLY: Gracias. I got these darling things on my vacation to Mehico.

PASTOR JOHN: And the sombrero is very festive.

DILLY: I do declare, you sweet talkin' thing. Are you flirtin' with me, sir?

PASTOR JOHN: What? No, I...

DILLY: You are one tall drink of water.

PASTOR JOHN: Thanks, but I...

DILLY: And as handsome as a TV anchor man.

PASTOR JOHN: Thinks – I guess – but really...

DILLY: But I don't think it'll work out.


DILLY: I know I am an FDA-approved, grade A chick, but you've got to forget about me.

PASTOR JOHN: But I never...

DILLY: My daddy would never approve of a mixed marriage.

PASTOR JOHN: I don't think...

DILLY: Let's speak of our forbidden love no more.

PASTOR JOHN: That'll suit me just fine.

DILLY: (dramatic pause) You were saying.

PASTOR JOHN: (snapping out of it) Oh, yeah. You got those on your vacation in Mexico?

DILLY: Si. I wanted something to help me remember my splendid vacation.

PASTOR JOHN: So it was a good vacation?

DILLY: It was the kind of vacation that'll knock your socks clean off and into the washer.

PASTOR JOHN: Wow! That must have been some trip. Where in Mexico did you go?

DILLY: I don't rightly recall. I reckon it has some Spanish name. But we had the most splendid time.  ¡La cucaracha, la cucaracha! 

PASTOR JOHN: Did you try any yummy food while you were there?

DILLY: I don't rightly recall, but I'm certain we did. I think it was some sort of foreign food. But we had the most splendid time.  ¡La cucaracha, la cucaracha! 

PASTOR JOHN: What did you do while you were there?

DILLY: Well...

TOGETHER: I don't rightly recall.

DILLY: But we had...

TOGETHER: the most splendid time.

DILLY: How in the name of Col. Sanders did you know I was going to say that?

PASTOR JOHN: Because you can't seem to remember much about your "splendid vacation."

DILLY: But I have this adorable sombrero and maracas.

PASTOR JOHN: Those are the things you bought to help you remember your vacation. If you don't actually remember your vacation, they are just a hat and a couple of rattles.

DILLY: Well, don't that just pepper my gumbo. You are right, sir. (getting excited) I spent all that money on a vacation, and I don't recall it. That could depress a hyena. I must go directly to my friend Flora and have her tell me about our vacation. Flora! Flora! (exits quickly)

PASTOR JOHN: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

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