Scripture Reference: Matthew 2:1-12
A skit introducing the Wise Men.
Cast:
GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
(MISS REBECCA is on stage when GRANNY enters.)
GRANNY: Good morning, dears.
MISS REBECCA: Good morning, Granny. Do you have a story for us today?
GRANNY: Of course, young lady. Granny always has a story.
MISS REBECCA: What story do you have for us today?
GRANNY: Well, with Christmas coming up, I thought I’d tell you the story of the Wise Men Matthew 2.
MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a great idea.
GRANNY: Splendid! After Jesus was born, Wise Men came from the East following a star. Being astronomers and astrologers, they knew the star was a sign that a great king had been born. They headed west toward Judah. Since they were looking for a king, they went to the palace of King Herod. Imagine his surprise to hear there was a baby king when he and his wife had no baby. The scholars told them to look for the Christ child in Bethlehem. Herod told the Wise Men to return with the location of the child, so he could worship Him, too. Really, though, he was afraid of losing power, so he wanted to kill the baby king. They found the baby, and they gave him precious gifts and worshipped him. Being warned in a dream about Herod, they went home by a different route. When Herod found out, he was not a happy camper.
MISS REBECCA: That's all very interesting, Granny.
GRANNY: But that's not the most interesting part.
MISS REBECCA: Really?
GRANNY: Oh my lands, no. It seems that the Wise Men were all named Maggie.
MISS REBECCA: (dubious) Maggie?
GRANNY: Yes, dear. I know it’s a girl’s name today, but it must have been a man’s name back then.
MISS REBECCA: Granny...
GRANNY: In fact, it must have been a very popular man’s name, because they were ALL named Maggie.
MISS REBECCA: I don't think...
GRANNY: It must have been very confusing for them. Whose camel is this? It’s Maggie’s. It’s not my camel. No, I meant Maggie. Who has my myrrh? Maggie has it. Not me, check with Maggie. What is myrrh anyway. I don’t know, ask Maggie.
MISS REBECCA: Granny Grace!
GRANNY: Yes, dear?
MISS REBECCA: M-A-G-I is pronounced Magi not Maggie.
GRANNY: Are you quite sure, dearie?
MISS REBECCA: Yes, it’s pronounced Magi. It’s the plural of Magus.
GRANNY: Well, that's completely different. It's still a lovely story, no matter what their names were.
MISS REBECCA: Yes, it is.
GRANNY: And we should be like those wise men. We should bring our finest gifts to Jesus and worship Him.
MISS REBECCA: You are very right. Thank you for sharing the story of the Wise Men with us today, Granny.
GRANNY: My pleasure. And remember, children: wait at least 30 minutes after eating before you swim and read your Bible every day. Bye, dears. (exits)
Scripture Reference: Matthew 1:1-17
A skit introducing Jesus' genealogy.
Cast:
GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight
(MR. MIKE is on stage when GRANNY enters.)
GRANNY: Good morning, dears.
MR. MIKE: Good morning, Granny. Do you have a story for us today?
GRANNY: Of course, young man. Granny always has a story.
MR. MIKE: What story do you have for us today?
GRANNY: Well, with Christmas coming up, I thought we'd talk about Jesus' genealogy in Matthew 1.
MR. MIKE: That sounds like a great idea.
GRANNY: Splendid! Jesus' ancestors are a colorful bunch of characters: kings & queens, shepherds & farmers, prophets & even a giant killer. But don't think it's all a group of goodie two-shoes. Oh my lands, no. There were some real miscreants and ne'er-do-wells. Many of the kings were very naughty. Rehoboam, Abijah, Jeehoram, Ahaz, Manassah, Amon, and Jeconiah were all disobedient boys.
MR. MIKE: That's all very interesting, Granny.
GRANNY: But that's not the most interesting part.
MR. MIKE: Really?
GRANNY: Oh my lands, yes. It seems that all of Jesus' ancestors wore big hats.
MR. MIKE: (dubious) Big hats?
GRANNY: Yes, dear. In fact, that's what my old Sunday school teacher used to call this part of the book of Matthew: the big hats. I'd imagine Ruth wearing a big broad-rimmed hat with an enormous jaunty feather in it. I'm sure Boaz thought it was quite fetching.
MR. MIKE: Granny...
GRANNY: And David in a 10-gallon cowboy hat facing down the giant Goliath in a showdown.
MR. MIKE: I don't think...
GRANNY: And Abraham wearing a large festive sombrero to keep the sun out of his eyes while traveling in the desert.
MR. MIKE: Granny Grace!
GRANNY: Yes, dear?
MR. MIKE: It's not "big hat;" it's "begat."
GRANNY: Are you quite sure, dearie?
MR. MIKE: I'm not sure of a lot of things, but I'm sure about this. "To beget" means to create or to father. The begats is a list of who is the father of whom.
GRANNY: Well, that's completely different. It's still a lovely story, even without the hats.
MR. MIKE: Yes, it is.
GRANNY: And His ancestors show that it was not His pedigree that made Him special. His ancestors include liars and murderers and sinners of all sorts. But Jesus came for all of us, and we too are liars and murderers and sinners of all sorts.
MR. MIKE: Which shows just how much he loves us.
GRANNY: Well put, young man.
MR. MIKE: Thank you for sharing the story of Jesus' ancestors with us today, Granny.
GRANNY: My pleasure. And remember, children: Eat your vegetables and read your Bible every day. Bye, dears. (exits)
Scripture Reference: Ecclesiastes
A skit illustrating that life is empty without God.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm (all of Squiggly’s lines are “said” with a kazoo)
MAX – Ozzie’s boisterous pal
THE PUPPETEER – the one who brings life to the puppets
(The scene opens with OZZIE lying on stage motionless when MAX enters.)
MAX: Good morning, Ozzie. How are you doing?
OZZIE:
MAX: Yeah, I have days like that too, where I don’t feel much like talking. That’s why I start my day off with a coffee IV.
OZZIE:
MAX: You look lower than a bow legged caterpillar.Lemme tell you a joke to cheer you up. How does that sound?
OZZIE:
MAX: Great! You know how to make a tissue dance? (pause) Blow a little boogie into it. (laughs at his own joke)
OZZIE:
MAX: No. How about this one: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke Skywalker at dinner? (pause) May the forks be with you. (laughs at his own joke)
OZZIE:
MAX: Hmmm. I know, I know. Why did the chicken cross the playground? (pause) To get to the other slide. (laughs at his own joke)
OZZIE:
MAX: Hey, this is my best stuff, and you’re being quieter than a mouse sleeping in cotton. It’s time to bring out the big guns. Knock, knock.
OZZIE:
MAX: I said, “Knock, knock.”
OZZIE:
MAX: I said… (walks over and shakes OZZIE knocking him to the ground) Uh oh! (stares at ground in shock)
SQUIGGLY: (enters) Yoohoo!
MAX: Oh. Hey, Squiggly. (glancing at OZZIE) What’s wrong with Ozzie?
SQUIGGLY: (gives a long unintelligible answer; MAX peppers in Yeah’s and Uh-huh’s like he understands)
MAX: What in the name of Charlie McCarthy was he thinking. How does Ozzie think he could do anything without the puppeteer?
SQUIGGLY: (speaks)
MAX: That’s right. He’s just a lifeless lump of fabric without the hand of the puppeteer.
SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.
MAX: I’m sure the puppeteer would be happy to give Ozzie another chance. Would you take Ozzie to him?
SQUIGGLY: OK
(SQUIGGLY exits)
SQUIGGLY: (speaks offstage)
PUPPETEER: (offstage) Of course, I would, but it’s really up to Ozzie. Ozzie, do want my life in you?
OZZIE: (offstage) Yes, sir. (after a beat, OZZIE enters full of life and with a paroxysm) That’s much better!
MAX: Glad to see you back to your old self, Ozzie.
OZZIE: Me too, Max.
MAX: I hope you’ve learned your lesson.
OZZIE: And how! I was such a silly little monster. I know now that I need the hand of the puppeteer to give me life.
MAX: And you’re very blessed that he was willing to give you a second chance.
OZZIE: Yeah, he’s a swell guy that way. There’s just one thing I want to know. Whose hand gives life to the puppeteer?
MAX: That’s the silliest thing you’ve ever… (then realizes that it’s a good question) You know, that’s a very good question, Ozzie.
OZZIE: Of course it is. How?
MAX: We need the puppeteer's hand to bring us life; puppeteers need God's hand to bring them life.
OZZIE: Otherwise they're just lifeless lumps of fabric?
MAX: Something like that. Their sin takes away their life. When they become Christians, they are filled with God's life.
OZZIE: That's sweet!
MAX: Sweeter than my mama’s banana cream pie. Now that you’re back to yourself, lemme tell you that knock- knock joke.
OZZIE: (frantic) Oh snap! I may have been better off as lifeless lump of fabric! (runs of screaming)MAX: Ozzie! (chases after OZZIE) Knock, knock! Knock, knock!
Scripture Reference: Exodus 20:13, Matthew 5:21-22
A lesson about the commandment not to kill.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight
(MR. MIKE starts on stage.)
DILLY: (enters yelling to someone offstage) You foolish, foolish rooster! I cain't believe you carry on so! Good bye, sir!
MR. MIKE: Dilly! Who are you talking to like that?
DILLY: That fool of a little bantam rooster. He's about as sharp as a sack of wet mice, bless his heart.
MR. MIKE: That's not very nice.
DILLY: I'm sure his mamma loves him, but I'm just saying... Anyway, I didn't come here today to talk about that scoundrel. I understand you are teaching these young chicks about the 10 Commandments. Being the righteous and virtuous chicken I am, I thought I would offer my assistance.
MR. MIKE: I think we have it under control. Today we are talking about "You shall not murder."
DILLY: Well, I'm not sure I'd have much to offer on that anyway – having, of course, never murdered anyone. I don't even like stepping on ants. I do declare that I am quite innocent of this one.
MR. MIKE: Actually, Jesus said anyone who is angry with his (or her) brother is subject to judgement, and anyone who says "You fool!" will be answerable to God.
DILLY: You're joshing me.
MR. MIKE: Cross my heart. Jesus says you are just as guilty before God as a murderer if you call someone a fool.
DILLY: That don't rightly seem fair. Killing someone is much worse.
MR. MIKE: In one sense, that's true. No one is going to prison for name calling. But God cannot tolerate any sin, whether it's murder or calling someone a fool. All sin makes you guilty.
DILLY: Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud. I've never heard such a thing.
MR. MIKE: The Pharisees thought they were more righteous, because they kept the commandments. Do you know anyone like that, Dilly?
DILLY: (whisper) You mean Flora?
MR. MIKE: (whisper) No! (normal voice) Jesus was teaching them – and you – that no one is righteous because of the Law. We are only counted as righteous by having faith in God.
DILLY: Don't that just sauté my gizzard. And there are so many that I've call a fool. I must go at once and make amends. Who to go to first? (running back & forth) That little bantam rooster... No, the cow... No, the pig... No, Mr. Mike... No, Flora... (exits quickly)
MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
