Monday, February 21, 2011

Pent & Repent

Scripture Reference: Luke 19:1-10
Jesus said to him, 'Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.' - Luke 19:9-10
A lesson about repentance.

DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR.MATT – the teacher who sets her straight


(MR. MATT is on stage.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Matt?

MR. MATT: Great. How are you, Dilly?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair.

MR. MATT: Glad to hear it.

DILLY: I was wondering if y’all would like to go with me to the shoe sale at Henney Penney.

MR. MATT: I’m not a big fan of shoe shopping. Why don’t you go with Flora?

DILLY: Flora and I are not on speaking terms at present.

MR. MATT: I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?

DILLY: She took offense at once teensy little comment.

MR. MATT: What comment?

DILLY: And I followed it with “bless your heart,” which everyone who’s anybody knows means you cannot take offense.

MR. MATT: What did you say to her, Dilly?

DILLY: I told Flora that she had all the fashion sense of a family of hyperactive baboons at a church rummage sale.

MR. MATT: Dilly! That’s terrible!

DILLY: But I said “bless your heart.”

MR. MATT: That doesn’t matter. That was mean. No wonder Flora’s not talking to you.

DILLY: You have that all wrong. I am not talking to Flora.

MR. MATT: Why are you not talking to Flora?

DILLY: She would not accept my apology.

MR. MATT: And why was that?

DILLY: She said it lacked sincerity.

MR. MATT: How did you apologize?

DILLY: I said I was sorry she has the fashion sense of a three year old on a sugar high, but I still think she’s adorable.

MR. MATT: Dilly! That’s no apology.

DILLY: But I said I was sorry. I cain’t help it if she is as hard-headed as a mosquito trying to bite an iron cow.

MR. MATT: If you are really sorry, then your apology should show you regret what you said.

DILLY: Even if she does have the fashion sense of a yard sale after a tornado?

MR. MATT: Cut that out! You also need to repent.

DILLY: How can I repent when I haven’t even pented?

MR. MATT: No. You need to not only feel bad for what you’ve done, but you need to stop doing it.

DILLY: So I cain’t say that Flora has all the fashion sense of…

MR. MATT: No! If Flora is really your friend, you’ll apologize. If you really mean it, you won’t do it again.

DILLY: Well, tie me down and call me a wagon wheel. I see what you mean, Mr. Matt. Flora is more precious to me than any well-phrased backhanded compliment. I must go at once to Flora and apologize for real (exits quickly)

MR. MATT: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!

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