Knocks Your Socks Off

Scripture Reference: Luke 17:11-19

A lesson about thankfulness.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
Toe socks

(D.B. enters but does not speak. He is obviously in a bad mood.)

MISS REBECCA: Hey, D.B.

D.B.: Oh, hi, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: You don’t seem to be in a very good mood, sweetie. What’s wrong?

D.B.: My mamma wants me to write my gramma a thank you note for my Christmas present.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a very nice thing to do. What’s the problem?

D.B.: I am not thankful for my Christmas present.

MISS REBECCA: That’s not a very nice thing to say.

D.B.: But it is true.

MISS REBECCA: What’s wrong with your Christmas present?

D.B.: She bought me socks.

MISS REBECCA: Socks can be a good present.

D.B.: But I am a puppet, and I do not have any feet.

MISS REBECCA: Well, there is that. Maybe you could wear them as ear warmers.

D.B.: They are TOE socks. (produces socks in question)

MISS REBECCA: Ah. Well, you should still be thankful that your gramma loves you enough to buy you a present.

D.B.: You sound like my mamma.

MISS REBECCA: She must be a very wise woman.

D.B.: She is, but she is wrong this time.

MISS REBECCA: Maybe you’re right.

D.B.: Huh?

MISS REBECCA: Why write a thank you note for a crumby gift?

D.B.: Yeah!

MISS REBECCA: Sounds like your gramma is a very mean, uncaring grandmother.

D.B.: Wait a minute…

MISS REBECCA: Toe socks. She’s obviously a terrible person.

D.B.: No, she is not! She is a wonderful person!

MISS REBECCA: I don’t know.

D.B.: She is. Whenever I spend the night, she always makes my favorite foods, and we watch my favorite movies, and she has my favorite candy – carrot M&M’s.

MISS REBECCA: That is nice, but she obviously doesn’t love you enough to buy you any good presents.

D.B.: She does too! For my last birthday, she bought me a light saber and the Lego Watership Down video game. And last Christmas, she bought me the Star Hares Trilogy on DVD.

MISS REBECCA: Yeah, but toe socks. What was she thinking?

D.B.: She was thinking that she loves me.

MISS REBECCA: Exactly.

D.B.: Besides, I could wear them as ear warmers.

MISS REBECCA: What a good idea.

D.B.: And… Wait a minute. You tricked me.

MISS REBECCA: (innocently) Tricked you?

D.B.: You tricked me into being thankful for my Christmas present.

MISS REBECCA: I didn’t trick you so much as remind you of all you have to be thankful for.

D.B.: I am going to write my gramma the most sweetest thank you card ever.

MISS REBECCA: That’s a great idea.

D.B.: Thanks, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: You’re welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

By His Strength

Scripture Reference: Matthew 17:14-21, Mark 9:14-29, Luke 9:37-49

A lesson about faith and prayer.

Cast:

DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight

MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:

none

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA: Fantastic! How are you today, Miss Dilly?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair.

MISS REBECCA: I seem to recall hearing last summer that you were raising money to build chicken coops for homeless chickens.

DILLY: Yes, the Lord laid that burden on my heart, and I have been diligently obedient to that calling.

MISS REBECCA: I’m glad to hear that. How’s it going?

DILLY: Well, lately raising money has been about as easy as trying to steer a herd of cats.

MISS REBECCA: I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?

DILLY: With the bad economy, people are tighter than my Aunt Bessie’s corset. No matter what we do, we’re having trouble raising money.

MISS REBECCA: What have you tried?

DILLY: We tried a kissing booth. We even had that cute Elly Mae working. She’s a cute as a basket full of speckled puppies.

MISS REBECCA: How’d that work out.

DILLY: Not so good. It turns out that chickens to not have lips. She nearly put out the eyes of three roosters before we had to shut it down.S

MISS REBECCA: That’s too bad. What else did you try?

DILLY: Next we had a picnic. It was in a very lovely park, and we even had it catered.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a good idea.

DILLY: It was, but unfortunately, the caterer served fried chicken.

MISS REBECCA: But everyone likes fried… Oh!

DILLY: Oh, indeed. That caterer was as sharp as a bagful of wet mice.

MISS REBECCA: I hope you won’t give up. It is such a good cause.

DILLY: I won’t give up ‘til the gravy’s cold, but I am running out of ideas.

MISS REBECCA: Have you prayed about it?

DILLY: Oh heavens no!

MISS REBECCA: No? Why not?

DILLY: This is a special mission given to me by God. I’m not about to go back to Him and tell Him I can’t do it.

MISS REBECCA: Prayer isn’t giving up. God chose you, but He didn’t intend for you to do it alone.

DILLY: Well, I do have Flora helping me.

MISS REBECCA: That’s great, but I mean that God wants to help you. We aren’t suppose to do His work by our own strength but by His strength.

DILLY: Well, if that don’t sauté my gizzard. That is such a relief. It’s exhausting do this by myself.

MISS REBECCA: Some things can be worked out only by prayer.

DILLY: Well, I couldn’t be more excited if there was a shoe sale. I just know we are going to make tremendous progress now with God’s help. I must go at once and start praying. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!

Backstage Epiphany

Scripture Reference: Matthew 17:1-13, Mark 9:2-13, Luke 9:28-36

A lesson about mountaintop experiences.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MR.MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

MR. MIKE: (after praying) Time to turn your attention to the puppet stage for our puppet show. (long pause) Our puppet show! (long pause) Are you back there, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Yes.

MR. MIKE: Are you coming out?

OZZIE: No.

MR. MIKE: Be a good fellow and come out and talk to the kids.

OZZIE: Um… No.

MR. MIKE: Why not?

OZZIE: Well, Mr. Mike, I was back here praying while you and the kids were praying.

MR. MIKE: That’s good.

OZZIE: And I had a deep spiritual experience.

MR. MIKE: That’s wonderful, Ozzie. But why aren’t you coming out?

OZZIE: I’ve realized that this is a special place, because I heard from God here. So I’ve decided to stay backstage.

MR. MIKE: For how long?

OZZIE: Forever.

MR. MIKE: Forever?

OZZIE: That’s the plan.

MR. MIKE: How do you plan to eat?

OZZIE: (mystically) I figured God would send ravens to feed me and tend to my needs. (casually) Or Squiggly can fetch me some Twinkies.

SQUIGGLY: (appears and nods)

MR. MIKE: What about school?

OZZIE: I won’t miss school. Besides, Squiggly can bring me my homework.

SQUIGGLY: (nods)

MR. MIKE: What about chores at home?

OZZIE: I’m spending time with God here. I’m sure my mom will understand. If not, then Squiggly can do my chores for me.

SQUIGGLY: (shakes head no)

MR. MIKE: But what about all the fine boys and girls?

OZZIE: What about them?

MR. MIKE: They are waiting on you. They learn so much from you.

OZZIE: You don’t say.

MR. MIKE: I do say. The kids need you, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Squiggly can handle it.

SQUIGGLY: (faints)

MR. MIKE: Apparently not. It’s great to spend time in God’s presence, but God also wants you doing things to make a difference in people’s lives and telling people about Him.

OZZIE: Seriously?

MR. MIKE: Seriously. Now be a good fellow and come on out.

OZZIE: (appears) OK. (pause) Now what?

MR. MIKE: Share with them our lesson for today.

OZZIE: (very seriously) Our lesson for today is… (dramatic pause, clears throat, the says quickly) what Mr. Mike said. (disappears)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

Carotene 200

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:22-33, Mark 6:45-52, John 6:16-21

A lesson about keeping your eyes on Jesus.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. ELIJAH – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
A big carrot (preferably with leaves)

(MR. ELIJAH begins on stage.)

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Elijah.

MR. ELIJAH: D.B., just the bunny I wanted to see. I have a message for you from your mother.

D.B.: Really? What did she…? (spots the carrot) Oooo!

MR. ELIJAH: What’s the matter, D.B.?

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: D.B.?

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: (waving hand in from his face) D.B.!

D.B.: (still staring) Huh?

MR. ELIJAH: What you staring at?

D.B.: (dreamily) That.

MR. ELIJAH: You mean the carrot?

D.B.: That is not just any carrot. That is a Carotene 200.

MR. ELIJAH: A what?

D.B.: A Carotene 200. A selection of the Autumn King type, with deep orange, heavy conical carrots up to 27cm in length, with strong foliage. It keeps well in the ground and stores for a long period, keeping its flavor. 475 seeds.

MR. ELIJAH: How do you know so much about carrots?

D.B.: I am a rabbit, silly. (still staring at the carrot)

MR. ELIJAH: Anyway, your mom wanted me to tell you that she won’t be home after church, so you’re suppose to go to your Uncle Thumper’s house.

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: D.B., are you listening?

D.B.: (snapping out of it) What? Of course I am listening.

MR. ELIJAH: We, you didn’t seem to be…

D.B.: I am a very good listener.

MR. ELIJAH: I’m sure you are, but…

D.B.: After all, I have great big rabbit ears.

MR. ELIJAH: So does my television, but that doesn’t make it a good listener. So tell me what I said.

D.B.: Huh?

MR. ELIJAH: If you were listening, what did I say?

D.B.: What did you say? Um… You said she’s going to play bunco with a rubber mouse.

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go juggle a grumpy louse?

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go smuggle a lumpy grouse?

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go snorkel a monkey joust?

MR. ELIJAH: That doesn’t even make sense.

D.B.: No, I guess not. I am sorry. I was so distracted by the Carotene 200 (looks & sighs) that I did not really listen. Please tell me again what my mom said.

MR. ELIJAH: She said to go to your Uncle Thumper’s house.

D.B.: That makes a lot more sense.

MR. ELIJAH: I imagine it does.

D.B.: Is that all, Mr. Elijah?

MR. ELIJAH: That’s it, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Elijah.

MR. ELIJAH: Bye, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Carotene 200. (exits)

Looking for a Sleight Advantage

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:13-21, Mark 6:31-34, Luke 9:10-17, John 6:5-15

A lesson about the Bread of Life.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
none

(MR. MATT begins on stage.)

DILLY: Mr. Matt!

MR. MATT: Hi, Dilly. How’s it going?

DILLY: I’m as frazzled as a handful of Twizzlers.

MR. MATT: What’s the matter?

DILLY: I’m having a little luncheon at my house today, and I have been working around the cluck to get it ready.

MR. MATT: Do you need some help setting up?

DILLY: I have some help. Flora is helping, and that’s the problem.

MR. MATT: Why is Flora the problem?

DILLY: Don’t get me wrong, Flora is an outstanding worker, but she is a softy, bless her heart.

MR. MATT: What’s wrong with that?

DILLY: In this case, she felt bad that some had not been invited to my luncheon and proceeded to invite them.

MR. MATT: That was nice of her.

DILLY: But she did not consider that some of them are the hoi polloi, and I had chosen not to invite them.

MR. MATT: Anyway, what do you need me for?

DILLY: Well, we are sorely lacking in victuals, so I was hoping you could show me that trick that Jesus did.

MR. MATT: What trick are you talking about?

DILLY: Y’all know that one. When he fed the 5000 folks that bitty bit of fish and bread. Knowing that would be as useful as a shirt pocket.

MR. MATT: That wasn’t a trick; that was a miracle.

DILLY: I’ll say. And it’ll take a miracle to pull off this luncheon after what Flora did.

MR. MATT: No, I mean it wasn’t a sleight of hand. Jesus performed a miracle when He fed the 5000 with five loaves and two fish.

DILLY: That’s what I’m getting at. How can I do that? And does it work with feed corn?

MR. MATT: He didn’t pull more food out of His sleeve or from behind someone’s ear. Jesus created the food.

DILLY: Well, I can’t do that!

MR. MATT: Exactly. Jesus is God and, despite what you may think, you aren’t.

DILLY: Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud! I get it now! How excitin’! We can make do with the food we have or have potluck or figure something out. I now have the most scintillating topic of discussion for our luncheon. I must find Flora and share the news. (exits)

MR. MATT: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)