Is Christmas Today?

“Is Christmas today?” Melissa does say.
No not yet, it’s still four weeks away.
She’s on the computer in order to write,
But first she makes sure that the font is just right.
“I spend too much time on the computer says Mom.
But check out my website: girls-4-god.blogspot.com.”

“Is Christmas today?” Dalton does say.
No not yet, it’s still three weeks away.
Dalton loves cheese, and he loves it a lot,
But it has to be yellow and must never be hot.
With crayon and scissors he always does labor.
Are you ready to take on his paper lightsaber?

“Is Christmas today?” Elijah does say.
No not yet, it’s still two weeks away.
Elijah is still enamored with trains.
He drives them, he draws them, they fill up his brains.
The big green tractor he has a longing to steer.
He begs and he pleads till he’s on the John Deere.

“Is Christmas today?” Jessie does say.
No not yet, it’s still one week away.
Jessie likes dresses that swirl when you twirl.
Stockings and bows are the choice of our girl.
Everyone thinks she’s so quiet and meek.
Just try to cross her, and you’ll hear her loud shriek.

“Is Christmas today?” Abigail does say.
No not yet, but it’s just one day away.
Abigail has Velcro curls in her hair.
Is that hay and yesterday’s pizza in there?
She hops in the van whenever she’s told,
And the first thing she says is “What can I hold?”

“Is Christmas today?” the children do say.
Yes, it’s finally here, and the kids say “Hurray!”

This was our family's Christmas letter this year. My wife and I wrote it to give everyone a glimpse at our children's personalities.
Have a very merry and blessed Christmas. - Jeff

The Parable of Nick Jonas(Parable of the Ten Virgins)

Scripture Reference: Matthew 25:1-13

A story that teaches that one needs to always be ready.

[Note: This was originally written as "The Parable of Miley Cyrus" for a boy in our church who is crazy about Hannah Montana. When he backed out, I rewrote it for my daughter, who is going marry Nick Jonas. She is. Really, she is.]

Cast:
MELISSA – a huge fan of Nick Jonas

Costume:
Street clothes (Jonas Brothers T-shirt if possible)

Props:
None.

(MELISSA enters and faces the audience. She is very excited and animated)

MELISSA: I am so excited! I got to see… the Jonas Brothers last night! I such a huge fan. You do know that I am going to marry Nick Jonas some day. I am. Really, I am.

Anyway, I went with nine other friends. My mom drove us there, and before we left, she told everyone to make sure we had our tickets. Five of us checked to make sure we had our tickets. I mean, you've gotta have your ticket! The other five didn't check. They said they didn’t need to; they’d be just fine. I thought they were being foolish, but we’d see.

It was kind of a long drive to the concert, and we fell asleep. When we got there, Mom called out “Jonas Brothers time! Time to go see them!"

Well, I don’t have to tell you that we woke up and jumped our of the van. I was so freaked. Five of us pulled out our tickets and started running for the door. The other five reached for theirs but couldn’t find them. They search all of their pockets. They looked behind their ears and in their shoes. They practically undressed trying to find those tickets. Ew!

Our foolish friends asked if they could have our tickets. I don’t think so! Then we couldn’t get in. Duh! We told them they should have checked and that they need to go to the box office and buy their own tickets.

While they were gone, we got inside the building and started heading for our seats. We were the last ones in, so the ushers closed the doors. The we heard someone pounding on the windows behind us. It was our friends, and they were yelling, “Open the doors for us! Let us in!” The ushers said they were too late. But they told the ushers that they were with us. The ushers looked at us, but we said, “We don’t even know then.” The ushers made them go away, and they had to wait in the parking lot during the concert.

The concert was amazing! The Jonas Brothers are so awesome! You know I’m going to marry Nick some day. I am. Really, I am.

This all reminds me of a story we heard in Sunday school recently. It’s the Parable of the Ten Virgins. Those who were ready for the concert were rewarded. Those who were not ready were sent away. We had a fabulous time, and they got squat. Well, we did buy them each a T-shirt.

Well, I’m off to listen to the CD I bought at the concert. They are so great. Did I mention that I am going to marry Nick some day. I am. Really, I am.Later.

(MELISSA exists.)

The Pharisee & the Tax Collector

Scripture Reference: Luke 18:9-14

A lesson in prayer & humility.

Cast:
Pharisee
Tax Collector
Narrator

Costume:
n/a

Props:
Pie tin & whipped cream

Notes:
This one takes a little prep work.

1. You need a cream pie hidden, so it can be revealed at the last possible moment. Since the Pharisee is going to take a pie to the face, it would be best if this was a teacher.

2. Enlist one of the kids to play Tax Collector. Make sure it is someone light, because he/she will be lifted up at the end of the skit, which leads me to…

3. Draft 3-4 of the bigger boys (or adults) to rush up and lift the Tax Collector when Narrator says, “and he who humbles himself”. Don’t let the Tax Collector know this is going to happen.

NARRATOR: To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee (point to Pharisee, looking sweet and pious) and the other a tax collector (point to Tax Collector, looking dejected). The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself:

PHARISEE: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

NARRATOR: “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said,

TAX COLLECTOR: 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

NARRATOR: "I tell you that this man (pretend like you are going to point to the Pharisee then point to the Tax Collector), rather than the other (point to the Pharisee), went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself (hit Pharisee in the face with the cream pie) will be humbled, and he who humbles himself (wait for the boys to rush up and lift the Tax Collector in the air) will be exalted."

14-Carrot Temptation

Scripture Reference: Matthew 6:13a

Illustration of “lead me not into temptation.”

[Note: I recently attended a puppet ministry festival and bought a rabbit puppet, so I wrote a script for it.]

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
Miss Kelli – the teacher who sets him straight

Costume:
n/a

Props:
Bag of carrots sitting on a table

(While MISS KELLI is discussing the verse, D.B. enters and starts whistling for the carrots.)

D.B.: Here boy. (Whistles) Here boy. C’mon. (Whistles)

MISS KELLI: D.B., what in the world are you doing?

D.B.: I am trying to get a carrot.

MISS KELLI: Why don’t you just open the bag?

D.B.: Because my mother said don’t get into the bag, because the carrots are for dinner. So I am trying to get a carrot out of the bag without getting into the bag.

MISS KELLI: That sounds awfully difficult. You must really like carrots.

D.B.: That bag is like gold.

MISS KELLI: How so?

D.B.: It is 14-carrot.

MISS KELLI: (Groans) So how’s it working?

D.B.: Not very well.

MISS KELLI: Are they having trouble hearing you through the bag?

D.B.: Don’t be silly. Carrots don’t have ears.

MISS KELLI: I guess I didn’t think of that. Have you tried anything else?

D.B.: I tried to use my mental powers to get a carrot out of the bag.

MISS KELLI: Why didn’t that work?

D.B.: Power shortage. Then I tried to sneak up on them from underneath. (Disappears to demonstrate.)

MISS KELLI: What did that give you?

D.B.: (There is a thud against the table, and D.B. comes back up dazed.) A headache.

MISS KELLI: Well, D.B., it sounds like you are suffering from temptation.

D.B.: I can’t believe you said that. That is the awfullest thing you’ve ever said to me, Miss Kelli. That was mean and cruel and uh and uh… What does tep… tep… tepatatation mean?

MISS KELLI: Temptation. Temptation is thinking about doing something wrong.

D.B.: Well, what do I need to do?

MISS KELLI: Have you thought about praying?

D.B.: I hadn’t thought of that. If I pray hard enough, maybe God will reach in the bag and get a carrot for me.

MISS KELLI: That’s not what I…

D.B.: What a great idea.

MISS KELLI: I didn’t mean…

D.B.: After all, God can do anything. He could reach right in that bag…

MISS KELLI: (Yelling) D.B.!

D.B.: You don’t need to yell.

MISS KELLI: But you weren’t listening.

D.B.: I am standing right here.

MISS KELLI: I’m sorry, but…

D.B.: I’m not deaf you know.

MISS KELLI: I meant you can pray to God to help you not give in to your temptation.

D.B.: (Understanding) Oh. I could to that, too.

MISS KELLI: God wants to help when we are tempted to do something wrong. That is why Jesus taught His disciples to pray “lead us not into temptation.” If you ask God to help, He will.

D.B.: I’ll do it. (Bowing head) Dear God, help me not to be tepatated to take a carrot. In Jesus name, Amen.

MISS KELLI: Amen.

D.B.: I think I will go out and play until dinner.

MISS KELLI: I think that would be a good choice.

D.B.: Even if I still really want the carrot?

MISS KELLI: It’s okay to still want the carrot as long as you don’t give into the temptation.

D.B.: Glad to hear it. Glad to hear it. See you later, Miss Kelli.

MISS KELLI: Bye, D.B.

Healing of a Demon-Possessed Man

Scripture Reference: Mark 5:1-20 (also Matthew 8:28-34, Luke 8:26-39)

A monologue teaching about freedom and witnessing.

Cast:
DEMONIAC – the Gerasene demoniac after his encounter with Jesus

Costume:
Could be done in street clothes or Bible costume.

Props:
none

(The DEMONIAC enters and begins speaking.)

I have a strange story to tell you. You’ll find it hard to believe, but it’s true. I know it’s true, because it happened to me. I wasn’t always the normal, upstanding man you see before you. I used to be demon possessed. Not by just one or two demons but by a whole legion of demons. I was completely out of control. You can’t imagine what it is like to see yourself doing awful things and not be able to stop it. The people tried to control me, but they couldn’t. They even bound me hand and foot in chains, but I simply broke them. I used to cut myself to try to get the demons out, but it was no use. I cried out night and day. It was agony. I wound up naked and dirty living among the tombs out in the dessert outside town. The demons seemed to find comfort in the death and decay of the tombs.

Then one day it all changed. It was late one evening when I was down by the lake. I saw a boat with 13 men arrive. I didn’t know who they were, but the demons did. It was like they were being tortured. One of the men came toward me, no one ever came toward me for any good purpose, but he had such a look of love and compassion. He said, “Come out of this man, you evil spirit!”

The demons convulsed as if in pain and said, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? Swear to God that you won't torture me!” They begged Jesus again and again not to send them out of the area.

Well, there were people nearby that were herding pigs, and there was a large herd of pigs feeding on the nearby hillside. The demons begged Jesus, "Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them."

He said to them “Go!” The sound was awful. I know what it was like when those things were in me and I was crying out. Image a herd of pigs, maybe two thousand of them, squealing in agony. They went crazy and headed straight for the cliffs. They ran over the edge and plunged into the lake below where they all drowned. Those who tended the pigs all ran away in fear.

I was free! I was free! It had been so long since I felt normal. I didn’t know what to do or say at first. Jesus’ disciples found some clothes for me, and I just sat at the feet of Jesus thanking and worshiping Him. When the pig herders returned with the people from the town, they were amazed to see me in my right mind. What happened next astounded me. They asked Jesus to leave! They were afraid, and they pleaded with Jesus to go away. I couldn’t believe it. So Jesus and His disciples got back in the boat to leave, and I asked Him to take me with them. He wouldn’t let me. He said, “Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.”

And that is what I have been doing. I tell everyone I meet how Jesus set me free. That is why I am telling you my story now. Do you have a story of how Jesus set you free? Are you telling your story to others?

(Pauses and exits.)