Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
The Man and the Birds by Paul Harvey
The man to whom I'm going to introduce you was not a Scrooge; he was a kind, decent, mostly good man; generous to his family, upright in his dealings with other men. But he just didn't believe all that stuff the churches proclaim at Christmas time. It just didn't make sense and he was too honest to pretend otherwise. He just couldn't swallow the Jesus story, about God coming to earth as a man.
"I'm truly sorry to distress you," he told his wife, "but I'm not going with you to church this Christmas Eve." He said he'd feel like a hypocrite. That he'd much rather just stay at home, but he would wait up for them. And so he stayed home while they went to the service.
Shortly after the family drove away in the car, snow began to fall. He went to the window to watch the flurries getting heavier and heavier and then walked back to his fireside chair to read his newspaper. Minutes later he was startled by a thudding sound . . . then another, and then another. Sort of a thump or a thud. At first he thought someone must have been throwing snowballs against his living room window. But when he went to the front door to investigate he found a flock of birds huddled miserably in the snow. They'd been caught in the storm and, in a desperate search for shelter, had tried to fly through his large picture window.
Well, he couldn't let the poor creatures lie there and freeze, so he remembered the barn where his children stabled their pony. That would provide a warm shelter, if he could direct the birds to it. Quickly he put on a coat, galoshes, and tramped through the deepening snow to the barn. He opened the doors wide and turned on a light, but the birds did not come in. He figured food would entice them in. So he hurried back to the house, fetched bread crumbs, sprinkled them on the snow, making a trail to the yellow-lighted wide open doorway of the stable. But to his dismay, the birds ignored the bread crumbs, and continued to flap around helplessly in the snow. He tried catching them . . . He tried shooing them into the barn by walking around them waving his arms. Instead, they scattered in every direction, except into the warm, lighted barn.
And then, he realized that they were afraid of him. To them, he reasoned, I am a strange and terrifying creature. If only I could think of some way to let them know that they can trust me . . . that I am not trying to hurt them, but to help them. But how? Any move he made tended to frighten them or confuse them. They just would not follow. They would not be led or shooed because they feared him.
"If only I could be a bird," he thought to himself, "and mingle with them and speak their language. Then I could tell them not to be afraid. Then I could show them the way to the safe, warm . . . to the safe warm barn. But I would have to be one of them, so they could see and hear and understand." At that moment the church bells began to ring. The sound reached his ears above the sounds of the wind. And he stood there listening to the bells ringing the glad tidings of Christmas. And he sank to his knees in the snow.
"I'm truly sorry to distress you," he told his wife, "but I'm not going with you to church this Christmas Eve." He said he'd feel like a hypocrite. That he'd much rather just stay at home, but he would wait up for them. And so he stayed home while they went to the service.
Shortly after the family drove away in the car, snow began to fall. He went to the window to watch the flurries getting heavier and heavier and then walked back to his fireside chair to read his newspaper. Minutes later he was startled by a thudding sound . . . then another, and then another. Sort of a thump or a thud. At first he thought someone must have been throwing snowballs against his living room window. But when he went to the front door to investigate he found a flock of birds huddled miserably in the snow. They'd been caught in the storm and, in a desperate search for shelter, had tried to fly through his large picture window.
Well, he couldn't let the poor creatures lie there and freeze, so he remembered the barn where his children stabled their pony. That would provide a warm shelter, if he could direct the birds to it. Quickly he put on a coat, galoshes, and tramped through the deepening snow to the barn. He opened the doors wide and turned on a light, but the birds did not come in. He figured food would entice them in. So he hurried back to the house, fetched bread crumbs, sprinkled them on the snow, making a trail to the yellow-lighted wide open doorway of the stable. But to his dismay, the birds ignored the bread crumbs, and continued to flap around helplessly in the snow. He tried catching them . . . He tried shooing them into the barn by walking around them waving his arms. Instead, they scattered in every direction, except into the warm, lighted barn.And then, he realized that they were afraid of him. To them, he reasoned, I am a strange and terrifying creature. If only I could think of some way to let them know that they can trust me . . . that I am not trying to hurt them, but to help them. But how? Any move he made tended to frighten them or confuse them. They just would not follow. They would not be led or shooed because they feared him.
"If only I could be a bird," he thought to himself, "and mingle with them and speak their language. Then I could tell them not to be afraid. Then I could show them the way to the safe, warm . . . to the safe warm barn. But I would have to be one of them, so they could see and hear and understand." At that moment the church bells began to ring. The sound reached his ears above the sounds of the wind. And he stood there listening to the bells ringing the glad tidings of Christmas. And he sank to his knees in the snow.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Faith of the Centurion
Scripture Reference: Matthew 8:5-13, Luke 7:2-10
A lesson about faith and authority.
Cast:
A Roman Centurion
Costume:
Though no costume is needed, could wear something that hints at military.
CENTURION: I am a Roman Centurion. As my name implies, I am in authority over 100 men, Rome’s finest soldiers. They are fine fighting men, because they understand how to follow orders. Authority and obedience are very important in a soldier. If a man is in battle, it can cost him his life if he does not immediately obey an order without question. I got where I am today, because I understand command and authority. Being a soldier is my career and my life.
That is why when I was sent to Israel, this land forsaken by the gods, I did not question my orders but obeyed. But I can tell you that I was none too pleased. It is not a great honor to be stationed here for it is an odd place. These Jews are a poor people. They are so poor that they have only one god, and they don’t even know what he looks like. We Romans have hundreds of gods with statues of them all over the place. But I have to admit, that the more time I spend here, the more uneasy I become about their God. They seem to draw strength from their God. Our gods don’t do anything. And though the Emperor claims to be a god, no one really believes it.
Then there is this Rabbi who is causing quite a stir. His name is Jesus. They claim he is the Christos, or Messiah in their language. He claims to be their God’s son. Normally, I wouldn’t give any credence to such a claim, but I have heard stories of supernatural occurrences – miracles. The blind seeing, the lame walking, demons cast out, even the dead raised. Not a one of our pantheon of gods can do this. Not even our physicians, the best in the world, can do these things. There is obviously something more to this man than the many charlatans making wild religious claims all over this strange land.
Then one day, one of my servants became gravely ill. He became paralyzed and was suffering terribly. He was about to die. This servant was very dear to me; he was like a son. I went to the rabbi and asked him to heal my servant. He said He would come to my home and heal him. I knew enough about these Jews to know that I was considered a Gentile and therefore unclean. I could not ask the rabbi to degrade himself by coming to my home, so I said to him, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."
I guess the rabbi was impressed by this, because he turned to the crowd and said, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." He then turned to me and said, “Go! It will be done just as you believed it would."
When I arrived home, I discovered that my servant had been healed at that very hour.
A lesson about faith and authority.
Cast:
A Roman Centurion
Costume:
Though no costume is needed, could wear something that hints at military.
CENTURION: I am a Roman Centurion. As my name implies, I am in authority over 100 men, Rome’s finest soldiers. They are fine fighting men, because they understand how to follow orders. Authority and obedience are very important in a soldier. If a man is in battle, it can cost him his life if he does not immediately obey an order without question. I got where I am today, because I understand command and authority. Being a soldier is my career and my life.That is why when I was sent to Israel, this land forsaken by the gods, I did not question my orders but obeyed. But I can tell you that I was none too pleased. It is not a great honor to be stationed here for it is an odd place. These Jews are a poor people. They are so poor that they have only one god, and they don’t even know what he looks like. We Romans have hundreds of gods with statues of them all over the place. But I have to admit, that the more time I spend here, the more uneasy I become about their God. They seem to draw strength from their God. Our gods don’t do anything. And though the Emperor claims to be a god, no one really believes it.
Then there is this Rabbi who is causing quite a stir. His name is Jesus. They claim he is the Christos, or Messiah in their language. He claims to be their God’s son. Normally, I wouldn’t give any credence to such a claim, but I have heard stories of supernatural occurrences – miracles. The blind seeing, the lame walking, demons cast out, even the dead raised. Not a one of our pantheon of gods can do this. Not even our physicians, the best in the world, can do these things. There is obviously something more to this man than the many charlatans making wild religious claims all over this strange land.
Then one day, one of my servants became gravely ill. He became paralyzed and was suffering terribly. He was about to die. This servant was very dear to me; he was like a son. I went to the rabbi and asked him to heal my servant. He said He would come to my home and heal him. I knew enough about these Jews to know that I was considered a Gentile and therefore unclean. I could not ask the rabbi to degrade himself by coming to my home, so I said to him, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."
I guess the rabbi was impressed by this, because he turned to the crowd and said, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." He then turned to me and said, “Go! It will be done just as you believed it would."
When I arrived home, I discovered that my servant had been healed at that very hour.
Monday, November 8, 2010
A Family Christmas
by Jeff & Kelli Childs
Cast:
FATHER & MOTHER – parents of a very large family
HANNA – the grumpy one
CALLIE – the know-it-all
ELIJAH – the Star Wars buff
HAYLEY – the cheerleader
NIKKI – the diva
DALTON – the sleepyhead
AMANDA – the bookworm
Props:
Bible with large-font printed verses inserted.
Stuffed animal for Hanna
Large text book for Callie
Light sabers for Elijah & Dalton
Pom-poms for Hayley
Tiara for Nikki
Nativity set
Costumes:
Father and Mother are dressed for an evening at home.
The children are dressed in Christmas pajamas.
Scene opens with MOTHER & FATHER sitting in chairs reading their Bibles. FATHER hears noises from the hall.
FATHER: Are you kids ready for bed? Come on in.
Children come in dressed for bed. Each comes in and starts doing something in character – e.g., DALTON and ELIJAH are having a light saber fight, HAYLEY is doing a cheer. The other children can be playing or trying to get Father to read their book.
FATHER waits patiently then speaks.
FATHER: Quiet everyone! Have a seat!
The children stop playing and gather around the parents.
FATHER: Okay, okay. Tonight we're going read the Christmas story. I think this year you all are old enough to read it for yourselves. (Offering Bible.) Who wants to read first?
HANNA:I will. (Takes Bible.) Where should I start? (Starts flipping through Bible.)
FATHER: Let’s start in the book of Isaiah.
AMANDA: (annoyed) Isaiah?!? That’s the Old Testament. The Christmas story is in the New Testament.
FATHER: But the story of Jesus starts with the prophecies of His birth. Check out these verses in Isaiah written about 700 years before Jesus was born. Hanna you start, and Amanda you finish. (FATHER opens Bible to reading for HANNA.)
HANNA: The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
AMANDA: For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
MOTHER: Just like the people of Israel were in darkness until the Messiah came, people today live in darkness until Jesus comes to live in their hearts.
CALLIE: (showing off) You know, Jesus is sometimes called Emmanuel, which means "God with us."
FATHER: Very good, Callie. Will you read next for us, please. Luke 1:26-38.
CALLIE: In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."
"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"
The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God."
"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.
MOTHER: Even though Mary was afraid, she trusted God and was obedient.
FATHER: Let's sing a Christmas song. What would you guys like to sing?
CALLIE and HANNA both put their hands up, but CALLIE answers first.
CALLIE: Silent Night!
All sing. Hanna pouts.
FATHER: That was great. Let's read next about Jesus’ birth? (Noticing that ELIJAH is distracted by his light saber.) Elijah, would you please read Luke 2.
ELIJAH: (once he realizes he has been spoken to, takes Bible and reads)
In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. And everyone went to his own town to register.
So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
What's a manger?
FATHER: A manger is a food trough or box. It was what the cows ate from. It was a weird place to put a baby, but remember they were in a barn. It had a dirt floor covered with animal droppings. (CHILDREN say “Ew!” and “Ick!”) The manger was probably the cleanest place in there.
MOTHER: Now that you know what a manger is, can you think of song with that in it?
ELIJAH and HANNA both put their hands up, but ELIJAH answers first.
ELIJAH: Away in a Manger.
All sing. Hanna pouts.
FATHER: And who wants to read about the shepherds?
HAYLEY: (jumping up & shaking her pom-poms, cheers) I do, I do, I-I-I-I-I-I do!
FATHER: Hmm. How about Hayley. Pick up the story at verse 8.
HAYLEY: And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.
FATHER: Think about it. God sent the most important birth announcement ever to this group of dirty, poor men that nobody even wanted to be around.
MOTHER: Let's sing a another song. What should we sing next?
HAYLEY and HANNA both put their hands up, but HAYLEY answers first.
HAYLEY: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.
All sing. Hanna pouts.
FATHER: Let’s see. We’ve had Mary and Joseph, the angels, the shepherds. Who are we missing?
NIKKI: (very importantly) The wise men!
FATHER: That’s right! Would you read about the wise men, Nikki, in Matthew 2 please.
NIKKI: After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him."
When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written:
"'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for out of you will come a ruler
who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'"
Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him."
After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh.
MOTHER: By faith the wise men followed the star, and it led them to the King, the baby Jesus.
FATHER: And they brought with them the things they valued most: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. They laid these gifts before the baby Jesus as a sign worship and obedience.
MOTHER: We can do that, too.
CHILDREN: How?
MOTHER: By surrendering the things that we value most to Jesus. Not just our stuff, but our talents, too.
FATHER: And when we all do that, it will truly bring Joy to the World.
MOTHER: (Smiling) That would make a great song title.
FATHER: (Chuckling) Yes, it would. Why don't we sing Joy to the World?
As everyone sings, one child at a time gets quiet and looks at the thing he/she values most (light saber, tiara, etc.) and lays it in front of the manger then rejoins the singing. Finally, HANNA lays down her stuffed animal, kneels, and prays. When she's done, she smiles and joins in the singing.
FATHER: Okay, kids, it's getting late. Off to bed for all of you.
The CHILDREN leave with hugs and good-nights.
All CHILDREN leave except DALTON, who is asleep. FATHER walks over, picks him up, and carries him out. MOTHER turns out the light and follows them out.
Cast:
FATHER & MOTHER – parents of a very large family
HANNA – the grumpy one
CALLIE – the know-it-all
ELIJAH – the Star Wars buff
HAYLEY – the cheerleader
NIKKI – the diva
DALTON – the sleepyhead
AMANDA – the bookworm
Props:
Bible with large-font printed verses inserted.
Stuffed animal for Hanna
Large text book for Callie
Light sabers for Elijah & Dalton
Pom-poms for Hayley
Tiara for Nikki
Nativity set
Costumes:
Father and Mother are dressed for an evening at home.
The children are dressed in Christmas pajamas.
Scene opens with MOTHER & FATHER sitting in chairs reading their Bibles. FATHER hears noises from the hall.
FATHER: Are you kids ready for bed? Come on in.
Children come in dressed for bed. Each comes in and starts doing something in character – e.g., DALTON and ELIJAH are having a light saber fight, HAYLEY is doing a cheer. The other children can be playing or trying to get Father to read their book.
FATHER waits patiently then speaks.
FATHER: Quiet everyone! Have a seat!
The children stop playing and gather around the parents.
FATHER: Okay, okay. Tonight we're going read the Christmas story. I think this year you all are old enough to read it for yourselves. (Offering Bible.) Who wants to read first?
HANNA:I will. (Takes Bible.) Where should I start? (Starts flipping through Bible.)
FATHER: Let’s start in the book of Isaiah.
AMANDA: (annoyed) Isaiah?!? That’s the Old Testament. The Christmas story is in the New Testament.
FATHER: But the story of Jesus starts with the prophecies of His birth. Check out these verses in Isaiah written about 700 years before Jesus was born. Hanna you start, and Amanda you finish. (FATHER opens Bible to reading for HANNA.)
HANNA: The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
AMANDA: For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
MOTHER: Just like the people of Israel were in darkness until the Messiah came, people today live in darkness until Jesus comes to live in their hearts.
CALLIE: (showing off) You know, Jesus is sometimes called Emmanuel, which means "God with us."
FATHER: Very good, Callie. Will you read next for us, please. Luke 1:26-38.
CALLIE: In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."
Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."
"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"
The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God."
"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.
MOTHER: Even though Mary was afraid, she trusted God and was obedient.
FATHER: Let's sing a Christmas song. What would you guys like to sing?
CALLIE and HANNA both put their hands up, but CALLIE answers first.
CALLIE: Silent Night!
All sing. Hanna pouts.
FATHER: That was great. Let's read next about Jesus’ birth? (Noticing that ELIJAH is distracted by his light saber.) Elijah, would you please read Luke 2.
ELIJAH: (once he realizes he has been spoken to, takes Bible and reads)
In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. And everyone went to his own town to register.
So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
What's a manger?
FATHER: A manger is a food trough or box. It was what the cows ate from. It was a weird place to put a baby, but remember they were in a barn. It had a dirt floor covered with animal droppings. (CHILDREN say “Ew!” and “Ick!”) The manger was probably the cleanest place in there.
MOTHER: Now that you know what a manger is, can you think of song with that in it?
ELIJAH and HANNA both put their hands up, but ELIJAH answers first.
ELIJAH: Away in a Manger.
All sing. Hanna pouts.
FATHER: And who wants to read about the shepherds?
HAYLEY: (jumping up & shaking her pom-poms, cheers) I do, I do, I-I-I-I-I-I do!
FATHER: Hmm. How about Hayley. Pick up the story at verse 8.
HAYLEY: And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.
FATHER: Think about it. God sent the most important birth announcement ever to this group of dirty, poor men that nobody even wanted to be around.
MOTHER: Let's sing a another song. What should we sing next?
HAYLEY and HANNA both put their hands up, but HAYLEY answers first.
HAYLEY: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.
All sing. Hanna pouts.
FATHER: Let’s see. We’ve had Mary and Joseph, the angels, the shepherds. Who are we missing?
NIKKI: (very importantly) The wise men!
FATHER: That’s right! Would you read about the wise men, Nikki, in Matthew 2 please.
NIKKI: After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him."
When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written:
"'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for out of you will come a ruler
who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'"
Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him."
After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh.
MOTHER: By faith the wise men followed the star, and it led them to the King, the baby Jesus.
FATHER: And they brought with them the things they valued most: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. They laid these gifts before the baby Jesus as a sign worship and obedience.
MOTHER: We can do that, too.
CHILDREN: How?
MOTHER: By surrendering the things that we value most to Jesus. Not just our stuff, but our talents, too.
FATHER: And when we all do that, it will truly bring Joy to the World.
MOTHER: (Smiling) That would make a great song title.
FATHER: (Chuckling) Yes, it would. Why don't we sing Joy to the World?
As everyone sings, one child at a time gets quiet and looks at the thing he/she values most (light saber, tiara, etc.) and lays it in front of the manger then rejoins the singing. Finally, HANNA lays down her stuffed animal, kneels, and prays. When she's done, she smiles and joins in the singing.
FATHER: Okay, kids, it's getting late. Off to bed for all of you.
The CHILDREN leave with hugs and good-nights.
All CHILDREN leave except DALTON, who is asleep. FATHER walks over, picks him up, and carries him out. MOTHER turns out the light and follows them out.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Blessed Are
Scripture Reference: Matthew 5:1-12
A lesson about the Beatitudes.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. ELIJAH – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
Bible (NIV) – the verses are written in the skit, but the Bible should be opened as if they are being read from Matthew
(MR. ELIJAH begins on stage.)
MR. ELIJAH: While we’re waiting for Dilly, I’m going to go ahead and start reading today’s Bible passage. Starting with Matthew 5:1, “Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them saying: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
DILLY: (enters as Mr. Elijah starts reading) I don’t think you read that correctly, Mr. Elijah.
MR. ELIJAH: Oh. Hi, Dilly. I’m sure I read that correctly. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
DILLY: Then you must have a faulty translation. Why in the world would God give the kingdom of heaven to the poor?
MR. ELIJAH: The translation is just fine. And it’s the “poor in spirit.”
DILLY: Okay, so why would God give his kingdom to some poor spirit?
MR. ELIJAH: It means God will bless those who recognize their need for Him.
DILLY: I am still unconvinced. But continue.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
DILLY: That’s very nice of Him.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”
DILLY: Well, don’t that just pop out your monocle. First, the poor get heaven, now them mousy folk get the earth. I just can’t believe it.
MR. ELIJAH: Meek doesn’t mean mousy or weak. It means being humble. It means submitting yourself to God.
DILLY: Are you saying God doesn’t want be strong he-man types?
MR. ELIJAH: God wants all types, but only those who let God work through them are blessed.
DILLY: Hmmm. Continue.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”
DILLY: Isn’t that lovely.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”
DILLY: That seems equitable.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”
DILLY: I certainly plan to.
MR. ELIJAH: Don’t forget that God blesses the humble, Dilly.
DILLY: Are you saying that I’m getting’ too big for my britches?
MR. ELIJAH: I’m just saying.
DILLY: I do declare. Continue.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
DILLY: Now wait just a cotton-pickin’ minute. I am blessed when I am insulted, persecuted, and have tales told on me?
MR. ELIJAH: That’s what the book says.
DILLY: And I am suppose to have a little shindig when this happens?
MR. ELIJAH: It says, “Rejoice and be glad.”
DILLY: Then I want to know where you got that shirt. I do believe it fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on its way down.
MR. ELIJAH: What does that have to do with anything?
DILLY: You have been insulted. Why are you not doing a little happy dance and rejoicing?
MR. ELIJAH: Ah! Jesus is talking about being insulted and lied about because of the work you’re doing for Him, not because your fashion sense has been questioned.
DILLY: But how is that possible? How are any of these things possible?
MR. ELIJAH: Because “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
DILLY: Oh, that old saw. That’s just for weak folks.
MR. ELIJAH: We are all weak folks, Dilly. That’s what Jesus is saying. Once we recognize our weakness, humble ourselves, and acknowledge our need, then we are blessed and truly happy. It is only in our weakness that He is strong.
DILLY: Well, bust my buttons. I never thought of it that way. How thrillin’! I must go to Flora at once and tell her. She is much weaker than I, so she must be even more blessed. Oh, Flora! Flora! (exits)
MR. ELIJAH: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
A lesson about the Beatitudes.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. ELIJAH – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
Bible (NIV) – the verses are written in the skit, but the Bible should be opened as if they are being read from Matthew
(MR. ELIJAH begins on stage.)
MR. ELIJAH: While we’re waiting for Dilly, I’m going to go ahead and start reading today’s Bible passage. Starting with Matthew 5:1, “Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them saying: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
DILLY: (enters as Mr. Elijah starts reading) I don’t think you read that correctly, Mr. Elijah.
MR. ELIJAH: Oh. Hi, Dilly. I’m sure I read that correctly. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
DILLY: Then you must have a faulty translation. Why in the world would God give the kingdom of heaven to the poor?
MR. ELIJAH: The translation is just fine. And it’s the “poor in spirit.”
DILLY: Okay, so why would God give his kingdom to some poor spirit?
MR. ELIJAH: It means God will bless those who recognize their need for Him.
DILLY: I am still unconvinced. But continue.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
DILLY: That’s very nice of Him.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”
DILLY: Well, don’t that just pop out your monocle. First, the poor get heaven, now them mousy folk get the earth. I just can’t believe it.
MR. ELIJAH: Meek doesn’t mean mousy or weak. It means being humble. It means submitting yourself to God.
DILLY: Are you saying God doesn’t want be strong he-man types?
MR. ELIJAH: God wants all types, but only those who let God work through them are blessed.
DILLY: Hmmm. Continue.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”
DILLY: Isn’t that lovely.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”
DILLY: That seems equitable.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”
DILLY: I certainly plan to.
MR. ELIJAH: Don’t forget that God blesses the humble, Dilly.
DILLY: Are you saying that I’m getting’ too big for my britches?
MR. ELIJAH: I’m just saying.
DILLY: I do declare. Continue.
MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
DILLY: Now wait just a cotton-pickin’ minute. I am blessed when I am insulted, persecuted, and have tales told on me?
MR. ELIJAH: That’s what the book says.
DILLY: And I am suppose to have a little shindig when this happens?
MR. ELIJAH: It says, “Rejoice and be glad.”
DILLY: Then I want to know where you got that shirt. I do believe it fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on its way down.
MR. ELIJAH: What does that have to do with anything?
DILLY: You have been insulted. Why are you not doing a little happy dance and rejoicing?
MR. ELIJAH: Ah! Jesus is talking about being insulted and lied about because of the work you’re doing for Him, not because your fashion sense has been questioned.
DILLY: But how is that possible? How are any of these things possible?
MR. ELIJAH: Because “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
DILLY: Oh, that old saw. That’s just for weak folks.
MR. ELIJAH: We are all weak folks, Dilly. That’s what Jesus is saying. Once we recognize our weakness, humble ourselves, and acknowledge our need, then we are blessed and truly happy. It is only in our weakness that He is strong.
DILLY: Well, bust my buttons. I never thought of it that way. How thrillin’! I must go to Flora at once and tell her. She is much weaker than I, so she must be even more blessed. Oh, Flora! Flora! (exits)
MR. ELIJAH: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Musical Chairs
I used this game to review the names of the disciples, but it could be used for the full armor of God, the fruit of the Spirit, the Ten Commandments, or the books of the Bible.
Play a game of musical chairs. When one person is left standing, he has a chance to save himself by naming one of the disciples. Post correct answers to take it out of play. This prevents the same name from being said over and over. The game ends when all 12 disciples have been named or there is one person left.
Play a game of musical chairs. When one person is left standing, he has a chance to save himself by naming one of the disciples. Post correct answers to take it out of play. This prevents the same name from being said over and over. The game ends when all 12 disciples have been named or there is one person left.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Cumbered About Much
Scripture Reference: Luke 10:38-41
A lesson about the better part.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MR.MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
Work SFX
Bible map
(MR. MIKE is on stage.)
MR. MIKE: Today we are going to study the story of Mary and Martha.
(OZZIE and SQUIGGLY enter.)
OZZIE: Hi,. Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: Hi, Ozzie. Hi, Squiggly.
OZZIE: Whatha doin’?
MR. MIKE: I was just telling the kids about Mary and Martha.
OZZIE: Are they your sisters?
MR. MIKE: They’re women in the Bible.
OZZIE: Your sisters are in the Bible?!? Did you hear that, Squiggly? Mr. Mike’s sisters are famous!
MR. MIKE: No, they aren’t my sisters. They are sisters, and they are in the Bible.
OZZIE: Oh. Do you mind if Squiggly and I listen, too?
MR. MIKE: No, not at all.
(While MR. MIKE talks, OZZIE keeps leaving and sounds of work can be heard. SQUIGGLY stays on stage the whole time.)
MR. MIKE: Mary and Martha lived in Bethany, which is a small town east of Jerusalem on the south-eastern slop of the Mount of Olives. Here. (shows on map)Mary and Martha had a brother named Lazarus, who is not in today’s story, but we will meet him later on.In today’s story, Jesus and his disciples come to the sisters’ house. Mary sits at the feet of Jesus and listens to him teach. This would have been quite controversial at the time, because that meant she was in the position of a disciple. In the first century, a woman was not usually accepted by a teacher as a disciple. This is a sign of Jesus’ love and his desire to have all people come to him.In the meantime, Martha is distracted, because she’s so busy trying to get everything ready for Jesus and the disciples. She wasn’t paying any attention, just like… OZZIE!
OZZIE: Huh?
MR. MIKE: What are you doing?
OZZIE: Multi-tasking.
MR. MIKE: Multi-tasking?
OZZIE: Yes, sir. I’m listening to you and getting some work done.
MR. MIKE: Really? So what have I been talking about?
OZZIE: Talking about? Um… Your sisters who live in, um, Ankeny had uh party for their friends, er uh, Jesse and Thaddeus.
MR. MIKE: Wow!
OZZIE: See. I told you I was paying attention.
MR. MIKE: No, you got everything wrong.
OZZIE: Everything?
MR. MIKE: Everything.
OZZIE: Really?
MR. MIKE: Really.
OZZIE: Oh, nerts.
MR. MIKE: I guess we’ll just call you Martha.
OZZIE: No, my name is Ozzie. I thought we’d met before.
MR. MIKE: We have. I mean you were acting like Martha in the story and working instead of paying attention.
OZZIE: So work is bad?
MR. MIKE: No, not at all. But being busy doesn’t take the place of paying attention to what’s important.
OZZIE: Sorry about that, Mr. Mike. I’ll pay better attention next time.
MR. MIKE: That’s a good fellow.
OZZIE: C’mon, Squiggly, it’s time to go. (exits)
(SQUIGGLY stays on stage.)
MR. MIKE: Squiggly, I really appreciate you paying attention today, but I think it’s time for you to go.
SQUIGGLY: (snores)
(OZZIE enters and nudges SQUIGGLY. OZZIE and SQUIGGLY exit.)
MR. MIKE: SQUIGGLY!
A lesson about the better part.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MR.MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
Work SFX
Bible map
(MR. MIKE is on stage.)
MR. MIKE: Today we are going to study the story of Mary and Martha.
(OZZIE and SQUIGGLY enter.)
OZZIE: Hi,. Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: Hi, Ozzie. Hi, Squiggly.
OZZIE: Whatha doin’?
MR. MIKE: I was just telling the kids about Mary and Martha.
OZZIE: Are they your sisters?
MR. MIKE: They’re women in the Bible.
OZZIE: Your sisters are in the Bible?!? Did you hear that, Squiggly? Mr. Mike’s sisters are famous!
MR. MIKE: No, they aren’t my sisters. They are sisters, and they are in the Bible.
OZZIE: Oh. Do you mind if Squiggly and I listen, too?
MR. MIKE: No, not at all.
(While MR. MIKE talks, OZZIE keeps leaving and sounds of work can be heard. SQUIGGLY stays on stage the whole time.)
MR. MIKE: Mary and Martha lived in Bethany, which is a small town east of Jerusalem on the south-eastern slop of the Mount of Olives. Here. (shows on map)Mary and Martha had a brother named Lazarus, who is not in today’s story, but we will meet him later on.In today’s story, Jesus and his disciples come to the sisters’ house. Mary sits at the feet of Jesus and listens to him teach. This would have been quite controversial at the time, because that meant she was in the position of a disciple. In the first century, a woman was not usually accepted by a teacher as a disciple. This is a sign of Jesus’ love and his desire to have all people come to him.In the meantime, Martha is distracted, because she’s so busy trying to get everything ready for Jesus and the disciples. She wasn’t paying any attention, just like… OZZIE!
OZZIE: Huh?
MR. MIKE: What are you doing?
OZZIE: Multi-tasking.
MR. MIKE: Multi-tasking?
OZZIE: Yes, sir. I’m listening to you and getting some work done.
MR. MIKE: Really? So what have I been talking about?
OZZIE: Talking about? Um… Your sisters who live in, um, Ankeny had uh party for their friends, er uh, Jesse and Thaddeus.
MR. MIKE: Wow!
OZZIE: See. I told you I was paying attention.
MR. MIKE: No, you got everything wrong.
OZZIE: Everything?
MR. MIKE: Everything.
OZZIE: Really?
MR. MIKE: Really.
OZZIE: Oh, nerts.
MR. MIKE: I guess we’ll just call you Martha.
OZZIE: No, my name is Ozzie. I thought we’d met before.
MR. MIKE: We have. I mean you were acting like Martha in the story and working instead of paying attention.
OZZIE: So work is bad?
MR. MIKE: No, not at all. But being busy doesn’t take the place of paying attention to what’s important.
OZZIE: Sorry about that, Mr. Mike. I’ll pay better attention next time.
MR. MIKE: That’s a good fellow.
OZZIE: C’mon, Squiggly, it’s time to go. (exits)
(SQUIGGLY stays on stage.)
MR. MIKE: Squiggly, I really appreciate you paying attention today, but I think it’s time for you to go.
SQUIGGLY: (snores)
(OZZIE enters and nudges SQUIGGLY. OZZIE and SQUIGGLY exit.)
MR. MIKE: SQUIGGLY!
Monday, October 11, 2010
D.B.’s Choice
Scripture Reference: John 2:1-11
A lesson about Jesus is greater.
Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MISS REBECCA begins on stage when D.B. enters.)
D.B.: Miss Rebecca, I need your help.
MISS REBECCA: What’s up, D.B.?
D.B.: I have a special carrot…
MISS REBECCA: You have a special carrot?
D.B.: Yes, and its name is Burt.
MISS REBECCA: You named your carrot?
D.B.: It would not be very special if it did not have a name.
MISS REBECCA: I suppose not. Do you name all of your vegetables?
D.B.: Of course not. That would just be silly.
MISS REBECCA: Well, except you named…
D.B.: Imagine naming a rutabaga.
MISS REBECCA: I suppose not…
D.B.: People would think I was some sort of weirdo.
MISS REBECCA: Maybe, but…
D.B.: Naming vegetables. How ridikalus.
MISS REBECCA: You’re right. Sorry. So what is your dilemma?
D.B.: I do not have a dilemma, but I do have a situation that requires a choice between options that are or seem equally unfavorable or mutually exclusive.
MISS REBECCA: Okay. And it involves your carrot Burt?
D.B.: Yes, I have had Burt for a very long time, and my father wants me to get rid of him.
MISS REBECCA: How long have you had Burt?
D.B.: Ever since I was a kit.
MISS REBECCA: That’s a long time.
D.B.: It is. And he has changed over the years.
MISS REBECCA: How so?
D.B.: He has gotten kinda squishy.
MISS REBECCA: Uh-huh.
D.B.: And wrinkly.
MISS REBECCA: Yeah.
D.B.: And gray.
MISS REBECCA: Ew! I can’t imagine why your dad would want you to get rid of that.
D.B.: I know. He said if I throw it away, he would give me a new carrot made of metal.
MISS REBECCA: So let me get this straight. If you get rid of your nasty, old, shriveled-up carrot, your dad will give you one made of metal that will never go bad?
D.B.: That is correct.
MISS REBECCA: And why are having trouble making a choice?
D.B.: I know the new carrot is nice and shiny and will never get wrinkly and gray, but I have had Burt for so very long.
MISS REBECCA: And can you do anything with Burt?
D.B.: Not really. I think he is starting to melt. Whenever I pick him up he is all wet and gooey.
MISS REBECCA: And how does it smell?
D.B.: I did not want to say anything, but he is not smelling so good.
MISS REBECCA: So the only reason you’re keeping your old carrot is because you’ve had it for a long time?
D.B.: I suppose you are correct.
MISS REBECCA: Doesn’t it make sense to trade your gooey, stinky carrot for something better?
D.B.: When you put it that way, I guess it is not really a very hard decision.
MISS REBECCA: Not really.
D.B.: I think I will name my new extra-special carrot Grace.
MISS REBECCA: That sounds like an outstanding idea.
D.B.: Thanks, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: You’re welcome, D.B.
D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.
A lesson about Jesus is greater.
Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MISS REBECCA begins on stage when D.B. enters.)
D.B.: Miss Rebecca, I need your help.
MISS REBECCA: What’s up, D.B.?
D.B.: I have a special carrot…
MISS REBECCA: You have a special carrot?
D.B.: Yes, and its name is Burt.
MISS REBECCA: You named your carrot?
D.B.: It would not be very special if it did not have a name.
MISS REBECCA: I suppose not. Do you name all of your vegetables?
D.B.: Of course not. That would just be silly.
MISS REBECCA: Well, except you named…
D.B.: Imagine naming a rutabaga.
MISS REBECCA: I suppose not…
D.B.: People would think I was some sort of weirdo.
MISS REBECCA: Maybe, but…
D.B.: Naming vegetables. How ridikalus.
MISS REBECCA: You’re right. Sorry. So what is your dilemma?
D.B.: I do not have a dilemma, but I do have a situation that requires a choice between options that are or seem equally unfavorable or mutually exclusive.
MISS REBECCA: Okay. And it involves your carrot Burt?
D.B.: Yes, I have had Burt for a very long time, and my father wants me to get rid of him.
MISS REBECCA: How long have you had Burt?
D.B.: Ever since I was a kit.
MISS REBECCA: That’s a long time.
D.B.: It is. And he has changed over the years.
MISS REBECCA: How so?
D.B.: He has gotten kinda squishy.
MISS REBECCA: Uh-huh.
D.B.: And wrinkly.
MISS REBECCA: Yeah.
D.B.: And gray.
MISS REBECCA: Ew! I can’t imagine why your dad would want you to get rid of that.
D.B.: I know. He said if I throw it away, he would give me a new carrot made of metal.
MISS REBECCA: So let me get this straight. If you get rid of your nasty, old, shriveled-up carrot, your dad will give you one made of metal that will never go bad?
D.B.: That is correct.
MISS REBECCA: And why are having trouble making a choice?
D.B.: I know the new carrot is nice and shiny and will never get wrinkly and gray, but I have had Burt for so very long.
MISS REBECCA: And can you do anything with Burt?
D.B.: Not really. I think he is starting to melt. Whenever I pick him up he is all wet and gooey.
MISS REBECCA: And how does it smell?
D.B.: I did not want to say anything, but he is not smelling so good.
MISS REBECCA: So the only reason you’re keeping your old carrot is because you’ve had it for a long time?
D.B.: I suppose you are correct.
MISS REBECCA: Doesn’t it make sense to trade your gooey, stinky carrot for something better?
D.B.: When you put it that way, I guess it is not really a very hard decision.
MISS REBECCA: Not really.
D.B.: I think I will name my new extra-special carrot Grace.
MISS REBECCA: That sounds like an outstanding idea.
D.B.: Thanks, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: You’re welcome, D.B.
D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The Bible Is Our Standard
Supplies: paper, pencils/pens, scissors, Bible
Verse(s): Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-13, Proverbs 20:10
Goal: Today we studied Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan. Not only did Jesus use Scriptures as a shield against Satan's temptation, he used them as a standard to measure the devil's words. This was especially true when the devil (mis)quoted scripture.
Set-up/Introduction: Have the kids trace one of their feet on a piece of paper and cut it out. Depending on the number of kids, this could be done individually or in groups.
Activity: Have each person or group measure the length of the room with the foot they cut out and record their findings. (The teacher might want to do this also to provide a bigger contrast.)
Ask why the differences in measurements? Did we all measure in feet?
This is how people use to measure: A foot was a man's foot, hands for measuring horses, a span was the width of a man's outstretched hand, a cubit (Latin for "elbow") was the distance from the elbow to the finger tips, and yard is the distance from the fingers to the nose or the waist measurement of a man. Obviously, these are going to vary from person to person.
"It finally occurred to people to establish a 'standard yard' and never mind what your own measurements are. According to tradition, a standard yard was originally adjusted to the length of the fingertips of King Henry I of England to his nose. (And the standard foot is suppose to be based on the foot of Charlemagne.)
"Naturally, the King of England can't travel from village to village measuring out lengths of cloth from his nose to his fingertips. Instead a stick is held up against him and marks are made at this nose and his fingertips. The distance between the marks is a standard yard."
In Washington they have the Bureau of Standards. They have weights and measuring sticks that represent the standard for knowing what a pound, a foot, etc. are. These are kept in a special climate-controlled environment to keep them from changing. A true standard had to be unchanging and based on something reliable.
As you can see it is important to have a standard or an authority we all use for measuring. Without a standard we don't get the same answer, and none of us got the right answer. In fact Proverbs 20:10 says, "Differing weights and differing measures- the Lord detests them both."
Conclusion: The same is true for our faith. When it is based on ourselves or others, it is going to be constantly changing. It has to based on something permanent and eternal, or we don't have a standard.
The standard cannot be "the man in the mirror" or our feelings any more that the standard for measuring a yard is the distance from each person's nose to his fingertips. The standard must be objective and universal.
The first definition of authority seems to be a pretty good one: a citation (as from a book or file) used in defense or support. An example would be that I use the Bible as an authority. If I hear or read something, I test it against what the Bible says. If it is in agreement, I believe it. If it is not, I do not. The Bible is the standard against which I test ideas. That standard we use as Christians is the Word of God as revealed through the Bible.
Jesus tells the story of the wise man who built his house on the rock and the foolish man who built his house on shifting sand. I fear you are building your house on shifting sand. The only solid ground we have is God, "our Rock and our Redeemer", and the Bible is His love letter to us telling us all we need to live and know Him.
Source: Some facts were taken from Asimov on Numbers by Isaac Asimov
Verse(s): Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-13, Proverbs 20:10
Goal: Today we studied Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan. Not only did Jesus use Scriptures as a shield against Satan's temptation, he used them as a standard to measure the devil's words. This was especially true when the devil (mis)quoted scripture.Set-up/Introduction: Have the kids trace one of their feet on a piece of paper and cut it out. Depending on the number of kids, this could be done individually or in groups.
Activity: Have each person or group measure the length of the room with the foot they cut out and record their findings. (The teacher might want to do this also to provide a bigger contrast.)
Ask why the differences in measurements? Did we all measure in feet?
This is how people use to measure: A foot was a man's foot, hands for measuring horses, a span was the width of a man's outstretched hand, a cubit (Latin for "elbow") was the distance from the elbow to the finger tips, and yard is the distance from the fingers to the nose or the waist measurement of a man. Obviously, these are going to vary from person to person.
"It finally occurred to people to establish a 'standard yard' and never mind what your own measurements are. According to tradition, a standard yard was originally adjusted to the length of the fingertips of King Henry I of England to his nose. (And the standard foot is suppose to be based on the foot of Charlemagne.)
"Naturally, the King of England can't travel from village to village measuring out lengths of cloth from his nose to his fingertips. Instead a stick is held up against him and marks are made at this nose and his fingertips. The distance between the marks is a standard yard."
In Washington they have the Bureau of Standards. They have weights and measuring sticks that represent the standard for knowing what a pound, a foot, etc. are. These are kept in a special climate-controlled environment to keep them from changing. A true standard had to be unchanging and based on something reliable.
As you can see it is important to have a standard or an authority we all use for measuring. Without a standard we don't get the same answer, and none of us got the right answer. In fact Proverbs 20:10 says, "Differing weights and differing measures- the Lord detests them both."
Conclusion: The same is true for our faith. When it is based on ourselves or others, it is going to be constantly changing. It has to based on something permanent and eternal, or we don't have a standard.
The standard cannot be "the man in the mirror" or our feelings any more that the standard for measuring a yard is the distance from each person's nose to his fingertips. The standard must be objective and universal.
The first definition of authority seems to be a pretty good one: a citation (as from a book or file) used in defense or support. An example would be that I use the Bible as an authority. If I hear or read something, I test it against what the Bible says. If it is in agreement, I believe it. If it is not, I do not. The Bible is the standard against which I test ideas. That standard we use as Christians is the Word of God as revealed through the Bible.
Jesus tells the story of the wise man who built his house on the rock and the foolish man who built his house on shifting sand. I fear you are building your house on shifting sand. The only solid ground we have is God, "our Rock and our Redeemer", and the Bible is His love letter to us telling us all we need to live and know Him.
Source: Some facts were taken from Asimov on Numbers by Isaac Asimov
Monday, October 4, 2010
The Devil’s Vegetable
Scripture Reference: Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-13
A lesson about temptation and God’s way.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MR. MIKE begins on stage when OZZIE enters.)
OZZIE: (enters yelling and waving arms in a Taz-like fashion)
MR. MIKE: Ozzie?
OZZIE: (continues)
MR. MIKE: OZZIE!
OZZIE: Oh. Hi, Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: What on Earth are you doing?
OZZIE: I’m just standing here talking to you.
MR. MIKE: No, what was with all the yelling and flailing?
OZZIE: Oh, that. The devil was trying to tempt me, so I was trying to scare him off.
MR. MIKE: That’s certainly a unique method.
OZZIE: I hope it works better than the other things I’ve tried.
MR. MIKE: Like what?
OZZIE: Running really fast, standing really still, wearing camouflage, hiding in the closet, turning the radio up real loud, eating chocolate, pulling the covers over my head, eating chocolate…
MR. MIKE: You said eating chocolate twice.
OZZIE: I really like eating chocolate. I’ve tried bug spray, a fire extinguisher, deodorant, Brussels sprouts…
MR. MIKE: Brussels sprouts?
OZZIE: Yeah, I hate Brussels sprouts. I thought the devil might hate them too, and they’d scare him off.
MR. MIKE: And did that work?
OZZIE: Not so much. (stage whisper) I think the devil likes Brussels Sprouts.
MR. MIKE: Did any of those things work?
OZZIE: Not really, but I have this idea for a catapult.
MR. MIKE: I think you’re going about this all wrong.
OZZIE: So I should just give in to the temptation?
MR. MIKE: That’s not what I meant.
OZZIE: When the little devil and the little angel come sit on my shoulders, I should just flick the little angel away and do what the little devil tell me to do?
MR. MIKE: Not at all. You should always resist the devil. It’s your ammunition that’s all wrong.
OZZIE: But I’m too young to buy bullets.
MR. MIKE: No, I mean you need to use your Bible.
OZZIE: Ah! Like one of those really big King James Bibles. I can just whack him upside his head.
MR. MIKE: No, Ozzie! I mean you can hide God’s Word in your heart. When you know what the Bible says and practice your memory verses, you have what you need to tell right from wrong and the truth from a lie.
OZZIE: Oh. Is that why you have a memory verse every week?
MR. MIKE: Exactly.
OZZIE: Well, then I better get going.
MR. MIKE: To work on your memory verse?
OZZIE: No. I built a giant mousetrap to catch the devil, and I used my pet worm Squiggly for bait. (exits)
MR. MIKE: Ozzie!
A lesson about temptation and God’s way.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MR. MIKE begins on stage when OZZIE enters.)
OZZIE: (enters yelling and waving arms in a Taz-like fashion)
MR. MIKE: Ozzie?
OZZIE: (continues)
MR. MIKE: OZZIE!
OZZIE: Oh. Hi, Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: What on Earth are you doing?
OZZIE: I’m just standing here talking to you.
MR. MIKE: No, what was with all the yelling and flailing?
OZZIE: Oh, that. The devil was trying to tempt me, so I was trying to scare him off.
MR. MIKE: That’s certainly a unique method.
OZZIE: I hope it works better than the other things I’ve tried.
MR. MIKE: Like what?
OZZIE: Running really fast, standing really still, wearing camouflage, hiding in the closet, turning the radio up real loud, eating chocolate, pulling the covers over my head, eating chocolate…
MR. MIKE: You said eating chocolate twice.
OZZIE: I really like eating chocolate. I’ve tried bug spray, a fire extinguisher, deodorant, Brussels sprouts…
MR. MIKE: Brussels sprouts?
OZZIE: Yeah, I hate Brussels sprouts. I thought the devil might hate them too, and they’d scare him off.
MR. MIKE: And did that work?
OZZIE: Not so much. (stage whisper) I think the devil likes Brussels Sprouts.
MR. MIKE: Did any of those things work?
OZZIE: Not really, but I have this idea for a catapult.
MR. MIKE: I think you’re going about this all wrong.
OZZIE: So I should just give in to the temptation?
MR. MIKE: That’s not what I meant.
OZZIE: When the little devil and the little angel come sit on my shoulders, I should just flick the little angel away and do what the little devil tell me to do?
MR. MIKE: Not at all. You should always resist the devil. It’s your ammunition that’s all wrong.
OZZIE: But I’m too young to buy bullets.
MR. MIKE: No, I mean you need to use your Bible.
OZZIE: Ah! Like one of those really big King James Bibles. I can just whack him upside his head.
MR. MIKE: No, Ozzie! I mean you can hide God’s Word in your heart. When you know what the Bible says and practice your memory verses, you have what you need to tell right from wrong and the truth from a lie.
OZZIE: Oh. Is that why you have a memory verse every week?
MR. MIKE: Exactly.
OZZIE: Well, then I better get going.
MR. MIKE: To work on your memory verse?
OZZIE: No. I built a giant mousetrap to catch the devil, and I used my pet worm Squiggly for bait. (exits)
MR. MIKE: Ozzie!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord
Scripture Reference: Matthew 3:1-17, Mark 1:9-11, Luke 3:21-23
A lesson about preparing the way.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MR. MIKE begins on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Mike?
MR. MIKE: If I was doing any better, I couldn’t stand it. How are you this fine day?
DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair, but I am plumb tuckered out.
MR. MIKE: Why are you so tired, Dilly?
DILLY: I’ve been busy cleaning my house. I’ve washed the dishes, shined the windows, dusted the furniture, and done the laundry.
MR. MIKE: That’s great, Dilly, but…
DILLY: I even emptied the lint filter. Ya know, I think that’s were all the lost socks go. They just shredded into itty bits and go in the filter.
MR. MIKE: It could be, but…
DILLY: I polished the silver, made the bed, set the table, and swept the chimney.
MR. MIKE: But why…
DILLY: I emptied the dishwasher, filled the dog bowl, and cleared cache.
MR. MIKE: (gives up on trying to ask why)
DILLY: I’ve swept the stoop and vacuumed the coop. I’ve mopped the bath and mowed a path. I’ve beat the rug, scoured the jug, stomped a bug, and scrubbed the tub.
MR. MIKE: (silent)
DILLY: Well, you been quieter than a mouse walkin’ on cotton. Ain’t you got nuthin’ to say?
MR. MIKE: I was just waiting for you to take a breath.
DILLY: Of all the impertinence. (takes a very loud breath) There! I have breathed! Speak!
MR. MIKE: I was just wondering what the occasion was for all the cleaning?
DILLY: (happy to be talking about herself again) Last Sunday, the preacher exhorted us to prepare the way for the Lord. Well, I certainly don’t want the Lord coming to a dirty house.
MR. MIKE: I don’t think that’s what he meant. I think he meant you need to prepare yourself.
DILLY: Oh my lands. I am sure I am quite a sight after all that cleaning. I’ll need to get my feathers done and my Sunday go-to-meeting clothes laundered and…
MR. MIKE: Not your outside. You need to prepare your inside.
DILLY: Well, if I am going to prepare my inside, I will most certainly need to increase my fiber.
MR. MIKE: Not prepare that way. Prepare by praying and spending time in God’s Word. If you make yourself available and are obedient to God, he will use you to prepare the way for others to be saved.
DILLY: Well, butter my biscuit! Is that what the preacher meant?
MR. MIKE: I believe that’s what the fellow meant.
DILLY: (growing excitement) Then I best get a move on if the Lord is counting on me for such an important job. Where’s my Bible? Where is my Bible? No, I better pray first. But where is my Bible? Oh, and I better tell Flora, cause she’s cleaning her house as we speak. (exits)
MR. MIKE: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
A lesson about preparing the way.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MR. MIKE begins on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Mike?
MR. MIKE: If I was doing any better, I couldn’t stand it. How are you this fine day?
DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair, but I am plumb tuckered out.
MR. MIKE: Why are you so tired, Dilly?
DILLY: I’ve been busy cleaning my house. I’ve washed the dishes, shined the windows, dusted the furniture, and done the laundry.
MR. MIKE: That’s great, Dilly, but…
DILLY: I even emptied the lint filter. Ya know, I think that’s were all the lost socks go. They just shredded into itty bits and go in the filter.
MR. MIKE: It could be, but…
DILLY: I polished the silver, made the bed, set the table, and swept the chimney.
MR. MIKE: But why…
DILLY: I emptied the dishwasher, filled the dog bowl, and cleared cache.
MR. MIKE: (gives up on trying to ask why)
DILLY: I’ve swept the stoop and vacuumed the coop. I’ve mopped the bath and mowed a path. I’ve beat the rug, scoured the jug, stomped a bug, and scrubbed the tub.
MR. MIKE: (silent)
DILLY: Well, you been quieter than a mouse walkin’ on cotton. Ain’t you got nuthin’ to say?
MR. MIKE: I was just waiting for you to take a breath.
DILLY: Of all the impertinence. (takes a very loud breath) There! I have breathed! Speak!
MR. MIKE: I was just wondering what the occasion was for all the cleaning?
DILLY: (happy to be talking about herself again) Last Sunday, the preacher exhorted us to prepare the way for the Lord. Well, I certainly don’t want the Lord coming to a dirty house.
MR. MIKE: I don’t think that’s what he meant. I think he meant you need to prepare yourself.
DILLY: Oh my lands. I am sure I am quite a sight after all that cleaning. I’ll need to get my feathers done and my Sunday go-to-meeting clothes laundered and…
MR. MIKE: Not your outside. You need to prepare your inside.
DILLY: Well, if I am going to prepare my inside, I will most certainly need to increase my fiber.
MR. MIKE: Not prepare that way. Prepare by praying and spending time in God’s Word. If you make yourself available and are obedient to God, he will use you to prepare the way for others to be saved.
DILLY: Well, butter my biscuit! Is that what the preacher meant?
MR. MIKE: I believe that’s what the fellow meant.
DILLY: (growing excitement) Then I best get a move on if the Lord is counting on me for such an important job. Where’s my Bible? Where is my Bible? No, I better pray first. But where is my Bible? Oh, and I better tell Flora, cause she’s cleaning her house as we speak. (exits)
MR. MIKE: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
Monday, September 20, 2010
True Identity
Scripture Reference: Luke 2:41-52
A lesson about identity.
Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
a dog nose, mask, and a bandana as a cape for D.B.’s disguise
(MR. MIKE is on stage.)
D.B.: (appears singing like old Mighty Mouse cartoon) Here I come to save the day!
MR. MATT: What in the world?
D.B.: Fear not, Citizen. It is I, Mighty Dog.
MR. MATT: What’s up with the costume, D.B.? It isn’t Halloween yet.
D.B.: D.B.? Who is this D.B.? I don’t know… This is not a costume, it is my… I am the Champion of Justice; I am Mighty D… (in regular voice) How did you know it was me, Mr. Matt?
MR. MATT: Well, the ears for one thing. They’re kind of a giveaway.
D.B.: I do not understand. Clark Kent takes off his glasses and does not wear any kind of mask, and no one knows he is Superman. I wear a nifty disguise, and everyone knows who I am.
MR. MATT: It’s because, no matter what you wear, you’re still D.B.
D.B.: But I am not D.B. I am (superhero voice) Mighty Dog.
MR. MATT: But you don’t stop being D.B. when you’re Mighty Dog.
D.B.: (confused) I do not?
MR. MATT: Of course not. How do you think I knew it was you even in your Mighty Dog disguise?
D.B.: (defeated) I know. The ears.
MR. MATT: Not just the ears. Who you are – your personality, your character – still comes through. No matter what disguise you wear, it’s still D.B. underneath.
D.B.: (disappointed) Oh. Okay.
MR. MATT: You sound disappointed. Being D.B. is a good thing.
D.B.: I suppose, but Mighty Dog is the Champion of Justice. He is much cooler than just plain D.B.
MR. MATT: I wouldn’t say that. Even without the costume, you don’t stop being Mighty Dog.
D.B.: Huh?!?
MR. MATT: Like Mighty Dog, you show strength and honesty and integrity. I bet even as D.B. you’re faster than a speeding bullet.
D.B.: (perking up) You are right. Just yesterday I won a race against my turtle Bullet.
MR. MATT: (chuckling) There you go.
D.B.: Thanks, Mr. Matt.
MR. MATT: You’re welcome, D.B.
D.B.: Bye, Mr. Matt.
MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.
A lesson about identity.
Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
a dog nose, mask, and a bandana as a cape for D.B.’s disguise
(MR. MIKE is on stage.)
D.B.: (appears singing like old Mighty Mouse cartoon) Here I come to save the day!
MR. MATT: What in the world?
D.B.: Fear not, Citizen. It is I, Mighty Dog.
MR. MATT: What’s up with the costume, D.B.? It isn’t Halloween yet.
D.B.: D.B.? Who is this D.B.? I don’t know… This is not a costume, it is my… I am the Champion of Justice; I am Mighty D… (in regular voice) How did you know it was me, Mr. Matt?
MR. MATT: Well, the ears for one thing. They’re kind of a giveaway.
D.B.: I do not understand. Clark Kent takes off his glasses and does not wear any kind of mask, and no one knows he is Superman. I wear a nifty disguise, and everyone knows who I am.
MR. MATT: It’s because, no matter what you wear, you’re still D.B.
D.B.: But I am not D.B. I am (superhero voice) Mighty Dog.
MR. MATT: But you don’t stop being D.B. when you’re Mighty Dog.
D.B.: (confused) I do not?
MR. MATT: Of course not. How do you think I knew it was you even in your Mighty Dog disguise?
D.B.: (defeated) I know. The ears.
MR. MATT: Not just the ears. Who you are – your personality, your character – still comes through. No matter what disguise you wear, it’s still D.B. underneath.
D.B.: (disappointed) Oh. Okay.
MR. MATT: You sound disappointed. Being D.B. is a good thing.
D.B.: I suppose, but Mighty Dog is the Champion of Justice. He is much cooler than just plain D.B.
MR. MATT: I wouldn’t say that. Even without the costume, you don’t stop being Mighty Dog.
D.B.: Huh?!?
MR. MATT: Like Mighty Dog, you show strength and honesty and integrity. I bet even as D.B. you’re faster than a speeding bullet.
D.B.: (perking up) You are right. Just yesterday I won a race against my turtle Bullet.
MR. MATT: (chuckling) There you go.
D.B.: Thanks, Mr. Matt.
MR. MATT: You’re welcome, D.B.
D.B.: Bye, Mr. Matt.
MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Christmas Present
Scripture Reference: Matthew 2:1-23
A lesson in coming to Christ.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MR. MATT starts on stage when OZZIE enters)
OZZIE: Mr. Matt! Mr. Matt! I found Jesus!
MR. MATT: That’s great, Ozzie. When we believe in Jesus, it is life-changing.
OZZIE: I didn’t start believing in Jesus; I found him. He’s mowing my lawn.
MR. MATT: Mowing your lawn?
OZZIE: Yeah, my dad hired him and some guy named José to mow our yard.
MR. MATT: Ozzie, I don’t think that was Jesus. I think it was just a man named Jesús (hay-SOOS).
OZZIE: (disappointed) Oh. So I suppose the kid in my class probly isn’t Jesus either.
MR. MATT: I’m guessing his name is Jesús, too.
OZZIE: Oh, yeah. I was wondering why he said it so funny. And what about Jesus Flores?
MR. MATT: You mean the catcher for the Washington Nationals?
OZZIE: Yeah!
MR. MATT: It’s Jesús Flores.
OZZIE: And I suppose all those people in the phonebook named Jesus are really all named Jesús.
MR. MATT: Probably.
OZZIE: Then how am I ever going to meet Jesus when all of the Jesuses are named Jesús?!?
MR. MATT: Why are you looking for Jesus in the phonebook?
OZZIE: You’re right, Mr. Matt. This is the 21st century. I should have googled him.
MR. MATT: That’s not what I meant. Why are you looking for Jesus around here?
OZZIE: I read in the Bible about the Wise Men and how they brought Jesus presents, and I want to bring a present, too.
MR. MATT: That happened a long time ago.
OZZIE: I know that. I wasn’t going to bring him a baby present. I thought I’d get him a tie. That’s what I always get my dad.
MR. MATT: No, Ozzie. He was born over 2000 years ago.
OZZIE: Oh! Then he’s really old. Maybe I should get him a cane or a walker with fuzzy tennis balls on the bottom or one of those swell Hoveround chairs they sell on TV.
MR. MATT: Jesus is in heaven.
OZZIE: Ah. Do you mean Little Heaven, Delaware?
MR. MATT: No. (pointing up) Heaven.
OZZIE: Oh! FedEx probly doesn’t even go there.
MR. MATT: Why are you trying to send presents to Jesus?
OZZIE: You see I missed his birthday party. I’m sure the invitation got lost in the mail. So I wanted to get him a belated birthday present.
MR. MATT: But those aren’t the kind of presents he wants.
OZZIE: Then what in the world does he want?
MR. MATT: You.
OZZIE: Me?!? Well, that’s a pretty crumby gift compared to gold and myrrh and Frankenstein.
MR. MATT: (chuckling) That’s frankincense. And to Jesus, you’re much more valuable than gold.
OZZIE: Seriously?
MR. MATT: Seriously. The great gift you can give Jesus is yourself – your obedience, your worship, your love. That’s the gift he really wants.
OZZIE: But that sounds kinda hard.
MR. MATT: It can be.
OZZIE: Are you sure he wouldn’t rather have a Chia Pet?
MR. MATT: I’m sure.
OZZIE: Or a Snuggy?
MR. MATT: He wants you.
OZZIE: Okay, okay. I’ll give him me, but now I gotta find a FedEx box big enough to hold me. (exits)
MR. MATT: Ozzie!
A lesson in coming to Christ.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MR. MATT starts on stage when OZZIE enters)
OZZIE: Mr. Matt! Mr. Matt! I found Jesus!
MR. MATT: That’s great, Ozzie. When we believe in Jesus, it is life-changing.
OZZIE: I didn’t start believing in Jesus; I found him. He’s mowing my lawn.
MR. MATT: Mowing your lawn?
OZZIE: Yeah, my dad hired him and some guy named José to mow our yard.
MR. MATT: Ozzie, I don’t think that was Jesus. I think it was just a man named Jesús (hay-SOOS).
OZZIE: (disappointed) Oh. So I suppose the kid in my class probly isn’t Jesus either.
MR. MATT: I’m guessing his name is Jesús, too.
OZZIE: Oh, yeah. I was wondering why he said it so funny. And what about Jesus Flores?
MR. MATT: You mean the catcher for the Washington Nationals?
OZZIE: Yeah!
MR. MATT: It’s Jesús Flores.
OZZIE: And I suppose all those people in the phonebook named Jesus are really all named Jesús.
MR. MATT: Probably.
OZZIE: Then how am I ever going to meet Jesus when all of the Jesuses are named Jesús?!?
MR. MATT: Why are you looking for Jesus in the phonebook?
OZZIE: You’re right, Mr. Matt. This is the 21st century. I should have googled him.
MR. MATT: That’s not what I meant. Why are you looking for Jesus around here?
OZZIE: I read in the Bible about the Wise Men and how they brought Jesus presents, and I want to bring a present, too.
MR. MATT: That happened a long time ago.
OZZIE: I know that. I wasn’t going to bring him a baby present. I thought I’d get him a tie. That’s what I always get my dad.
MR. MATT: No, Ozzie. He was born over 2000 years ago.
OZZIE: Oh! Then he’s really old. Maybe I should get him a cane or a walker with fuzzy tennis balls on the bottom or one of those swell Hoveround chairs they sell on TV.
MR. MATT: Jesus is in heaven.
OZZIE: Ah. Do you mean Little Heaven, Delaware?
MR. MATT: No. (pointing up) Heaven.
OZZIE: Oh! FedEx probly doesn’t even go there.
MR. MATT: Why are you trying to send presents to Jesus?
OZZIE: You see I missed his birthday party. I’m sure the invitation got lost in the mail. So I wanted to get him a belated birthday present.
MR. MATT: But those aren’t the kind of presents he wants.
OZZIE: Then what in the world does he want?
MR. MATT: You.
OZZIE: Me?!? Well, that’s a pretty crumby gift compared to gold and myrrh and Frankenstein.
MR. MATT: (chuckling) That’s frankincense. And to Jesus, you’re much more valuable than gold.
OZZIE: Seriously?
MR. MATT: Seriously. The great gift you can give Jesus is yourself – your obedience, your worship, your love. That’s the gift he really wants.
OZZIE: But that sounds kinda hard.
MR. MATT: It can be.
OZZIE: Are you sure he wouldn’t rather have a Chia Pet?
MR. MATT: I’m sure.
OZZIE: Or a Snuggy?
MR. MATT: He wants you.
OZZIE: Okay, okay. I’ll give him me, but now I gotta find a FedEx box big enough to hold me. (exits)
MR. MATT: Ozzie!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Unstable Christmas
Scripture Reference: Luke 2:1-20, Matthew 1:18-25 
A lesson about the birth of the Savior.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MR. MATT begins on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Matt?
MR. MATT: Oh hi, Dilly. I’m doing fine. How are you?
DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair. And, oh my, y’all have some new little chicks in your class this morning. Howdy, young’uns.
MR. MATT: Yes, we do. New kids…
DILLY: And they’re just cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.
MR. MATT: New school year…
DILLY: Why, I’m sure they’re more excited than a dog in a hubcap factory.
MR. MATT: New Testament…
DILLY: New Testament? Whatever are you talking about?
MR. MATT: We’re going to start studying the New Testament this week. Today we are going to look at the birth of Jesus.
DILLY: I don’t cotton to that story.
MR. MATT: The Christmas story? Why not?
DILLY: The idea of a baby being born in a sorry little stable is most unpleasant, and that’s coming from someone who has lived in a stable. They are smelly and dirty. I mean, his daddy is the Lord God. Couldn’t he have let his son be born in a warm palace or a fine antebellum mansion or even the Holiday Inn? But a stable? And with all that donkey poo. Well, I never.
MR. MATT: Dilly, I think you’ve missed the point of the story.
DILLY: If you’re so bright, Mr. Matt, enlighten me.
MR. MATT: It’s a story about love.
DILLY: What are you talking about? Are you saying Mary & Joseph loved donkey poo?
MR. MATT: Of course not. I am saying that Jesus loved you so much that he left Heaven – where he sat beside his Father and had angels worshipping him – to come to Earth and be born in a “sorry little stable.”
DILLY: Well, ain’t that the berries!
MR. MATT: Yes, it is… I think.
DILLY: I always knew that Jesus loves everyone, but I didn’t know I was his favorite. Imagine that. He came to Earth just because of ME.
MR. MATT: Not just because of you, Dilly. He does love you, but he also loves me and Mr. Jeff and all these kids.
DILLY: (stage whisper) Even Abigail?
MR. MATT: Of course he loves Abigail.
DILLY: And Flora, too?
MR. MATT: And Flora, too.
DILLY: Do go on.
MR. MATT: Seriously, Jesus loves all the little children of the world.
DILLY: That is the most exciting news! I had never thought of the Christmas story in just that way. I must find Flora and tell her that Jesus left Heaven, because he loves her and me and everyone else (but I still think I’m his favorite). Where could that Flora be? Oh, there she is. (getting louder and running offstage) Flora! Flora darlin’! (exits)
MR. MATT: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forget – bye, y’all! (exits)
A lesson about the birth of the Savior.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MR. MATT begins on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Matt?
MR. MATT: Oh hi, Dilly. I’m doing fine. How are you?
DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair. And, oh my, y’all have some new little chicks in your class this morning. Howdy, young’uns.
MR. MATT: Yes, we do. New kids…
DILLY: And they’re just cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.
MR. MATT: New school year…
DILLY: Why, I’m sure they’re more excited than a dog in a hubcap factory.
MR. MATT: New Testament…
DILLY: New Testament? Whatever are you talking about?
MR. MATT: We’re going to start studying the New Testament this week. Today we are going to look at the birth of Jesus.
DILLY: I don’t cotton to that story.
MR. MATT: The Christmas story? Why not?
DILLY: The idea of a baby being born in a sorry little stable is most unpleasant, and that’s coming from someone who has lived in a stable. They are smelly and dirty. I mean, his daddy is the Lord God. Couldn’t he have let his son be born in a warm palace or a fine antebellum mansion or even the Holiday Inn? But a stable? And with all that donkey poo. Well, I never.
MR. MATT: Dilly, I think you’ve missed the point of the story.
DILLY: If you’re so bright, Mr. Matt, enlighten me.
MR. MATT: It’s a story about love.
DILLY: What are you talking about? Are you saying Mary & Joseph loved donkey poo?
MR. MATT: Of course not. I am saying that Jesus loved you so much that he left Heaven – where he sat beside his Father and had angels worshipping him – to come to Earth and be born in a “sorry little stable.”
DILLY: Well, ain’t that the berries!
MR. MATT: Yes, it is… I think.
DILLY: I always knew that Jesus loves everyone, but I didn’t know I was his favorite. Imagine that. He came to Earth just because of ME.
MR. MATT: Not just because of you, Dilly. He does love you, but he also loves me and Mr. Jeff and all these kids.
DILLY: (stage whisper) Even Abigail?
MR. MATT: Of course he loves Abigail.
DILLY: And Flora, too?
MR. MATT: And Flora, too.
DILLY: Do go on.
MR. MATT: Seriously, Jesus loves all the little children of the world.
DILLY: That is the most exciting news! I had never thought of the Christmas story in just that way. I must find Flora and tell her that Jesus left Heaven, because he loves her and me and everyone else (but I still think I’m his favorite). Where could that Flora be? Oh, there she is. (getting louder and running offstage) Flora! Flora darlin’! (exits)
MR. MATT: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forget – bye, y’all! (exits)
Monday, August 30, 2010
This Looks Like a Job for Job
Scripture Reference: Job 1:13-22
A skit that demonstrates that we should worship in times of trouble.
Cast:
MIKE – Worship Leader
MATT – Person who doesn’t know how to worship
Props:
Bible for MIKE opened to the book of Job.
(During the first song, MATT stops sings. He sits down looking sad and dejected.)
MIKE: What are you doing, Mr. MATT? Don’t tell me you are embarrassed by singing?
MATT: No.
MIKE: You don’t still think it’s girly or undignified?
MATT: No.
MIKE: Then what is it?
MATT: Nothing.
MIKE: It’s not nothing. You look like someone popped your balloon.
MATT: I’ve just had a bad week. I don’t want to go into detail.
MIKE: Well, if you want to talk…
MATT: It’s just that we’ve been on the road a lot, and there’s more work that can be done. I have customers screaming for help and not enough time to help them. The phone keeps ringing, I am getting hundreds of email…
MIKE: I’m sorry to hear…
MATT: Then I think I’m going to get a break for the weekend and my car breaks down and the toilet overflows and the lawn needs mowing and …
MIKE: I’m glad you don’t want to go into detail.
MATT: What? Oh, sorry. Anyway, I’m just not up to worshiping. Worship is all about feelings, and I just don’t feel like it.
MIKE: Worship is a lot more than just about your feelings. It isn’t just supposed to engage your heart. It is suppose to engage your mind, body, and spirit. In the book of John, Jesus says that “true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth.”
MATT: Yeah, but if you’ve had a bad day…
MIKE: Ever heard of Jōb? [NB: ō indicates to use a long O, as in "robe".]
MATT: I don’t think so.
MIKE: You know, Jōb – in the Bible. J-O-B, Jōb.
MATT: I thought it was pronounced job.
MIKE: No, it’s Jōb.
MATT: Did he have a brother named Bōb?
MIKE: What?!?
MATT: Bōb. B-O-B.
MIKE: That would be Bob.
MATT: And did he eat corn on the cōb?
MIKE: No.
MATT: What about him?
MIKE: What about who?
MATT: Job
MIKE: That’s Jōb, and he had a REALLY bad day. One day a messenger came to him and told him that his enemy had stolen all his oxen & donkeys and killed all his servants working in the fields.
MATT: I bet that made him sōb.
MATT: That’s sob. Then another messenger came to tell him that fire had fallen from the sky and killed all the sheep and shepherds.
MATT: That’s bad, but…
MIKE: Then another messenger came to tell him that raiders had carried off his camels and killed his servants.
MATT: That’s really bad, but…
MIKE: Then another messenger…
MATT: Not another messenger!
MIKE: Yep, another messenger. This one came to tell him that while his sons and daughters were all together, a huge wind came up, blew down the house, and killed them all.
MATT: Yikes! That is a REALLY bad day! I had a great day compared to all of that!
MIKE: That is probably one of the worst days anyone’s ever had.
MATT: And you’re going to tell me that Jōb worshiped God after all of that?!?
MIKE: Yes. Jōb 1:20-21 says: Then he fell to the ground in worship and said, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."
MATT: How could he do that? He just had his family wiped out?
MIKE: When we remember that God is our Redeemer and that He truly loves us, we can rest in the knowledge that He is in control even when we don’t understand the reasons for what is happening.
MATT: But how can I do that?
MIKE: You have to prepare. You can’t wait until things get hard to trust God. You have to practice that when things are good. Spend time in His Word, talk with Him in prayer, stand in His presence in worship. You have to KNOW you can trust Him BEFORE the bad times. In the bad times, you will want to doubt, it’s only natural. But if you have a foundation of trust already, you can stand on that foundation when the trust is hard.
MATT: So worship is like getting into shape. You can’t wait until you are in the middle of a football game to start working out. You have to do that before the game, so that you are prepared.
MIKE: Exactly. Worship is part of what makes us healthy Christians. And when we are in difficult times in our lives, it reminds us that God is our Rock and our Redeemer.
MATT: Wow! If Jōb can worship after all of that, I guess I can, too.
MIKE: That’s our jōb.
MATT: Now don’t YOU start that!
A skit that demonstrates that we should worship in times of trouble.
Cast:MIKE – Worship Leader
MATT – Person who doesn’t know how to worship
Props:
Bible for MIKE opened to the book of Job.
(During the first song, MATT stops sings. He sits down looking sad and dejected.)
MIKE: What are you doing, Mr. MATT? Don’t tell me you are embarrassed by singing?
MATT: No.
MIKE: You don’t still think it’s girly or undignified?
MATT: No.
MIKE: Then what is it?
MATT: Nothing.
MIKE: It’s not nothing. You look like someone popped your balloon.
MATT: I’ve just had a bad week. I don’t want to go into detail.
MIKE: Well, if you want to talk…
MATT: It’s just that we’ve been on the road a lot, and there’s more work that can be done. I have customers screaming for help and not enough time to help them. The phone keeps ringing, I am getting hundreds of email…
MIKE: I’m sorry to hear…
MATT: Then I think I’m going to get a break for the weekend and my car breaks down and the toilet overflows and the lawn needs mowing and …
MIKE: I’m glad you don’t want to go into detail.
MATT: What? Oh, sorry. Anyway, I’m just not up to worshiping. Worship is all about feelings, and I just don’t feel like it.
MIKE: Worship is a lot more than just about your feelings. It isn’t just supposed to engage your heart. It is suppose to engage your mind, body, and spirit. In the book of John, Jesus says that “true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth.”
MATT: Yeah, but if you’ve had a bad day…
MIKE: Ever heard of Jōb? [NB: ō indicates to use a long O, as in "robe".]
MATT: I don’t think so.
MIKE: You know, Jōb – in the Bible. J-O-B, Jōb.
MATT: I thought it was pronounced job.
MIKE: No, it’s Jōb.
MATT: Did he have a brother named Bōb?
MIKE: What?!?
MATT: Bōb. B-O-B.
MIKE: That would be Bob.
MATT: And did he eat corn on the cōb?
MIKE: No.
MATT: What about him?
MIKE: What about who?
MATT: Job
MIKE: That’s Jōb, and he had a REALLY bad day. One day a messenger came to him and told him that his enemy had stolen all his oxen & donkeys and killed all his servants working in the fields.
MATT: I bet that made him sōb.
MATT: That’s sob. Then another messenger came to tell him that fire had fallen from the sky and killed all the sheep and shepherds.
MATT: That’s bad, but…
MIKE: Then another messenger came to tell him that raiders had carried off his camels and killed his servants.
MATT: That’s really bad, but…
MIKE: Then another messenger…
MATT: Not another messenger!
MIKE: Yep, another messenger. This one came to tell him that while his sons and daughters were all together, a huge wind came up, blew down the house, and killed them all.
MATT: Yikes! That is a REALLY bad day! I had a great day compared to all of that!
MIKE: That is probably one of the worst days anyone’s ever had.
MATT: And you’re going to tell me that Jōb worshiped God after all of that?!?
MIKE: Yes. Jōb 1:20-21 says: Then he fell to the ground in worship and said, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."
MATT: How could he do that? He just had his family wiped out?
MIKE: When we remember that God is our Redeemer and that He truly loves us, we can rest in the knowledge that He is in control even when we don’t understand the reasons for what is happening.
MATT: But how can I do that?
MIKE: You have to prepare. You can’t wait until things get hard to trust God. You have to practice that when things are good. Spend time in His Word, talk with Him in prayer, stand in His presence in worship. You have to KNOW you can trust Him BEFORE the bad times. In the bad times, you will want to doubt, it’s only natural. But if you have a foundation of trust already, you can stand on that foundation when the trust is hard.
MATT: So worship is like getting into shape. You can’t wait until you are in the middle of a football game to start working out. You have to do that before the game, so that you are prepared.
MIKE: Exactly. Worship is part of what makes us healthy Christians. And when we are in difficult times in our lives, it reminds us that God is our Rock and our Redeemer.
MATT: Wow! If Jōb can worship after all of that, I guess I can, too.
MIKE: That’s our jōb.
MATT: Now don’t YOU start that!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
You Didn’t Make Your Bed, So You’re in the Doghouse
Scripture Reference: Jonah 1-4
A lesson about obedience.
Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
none
(Opens with MR. MIKE on stage.)
D.B.: (enters & collapses from exhaustion)
MR. MIKE: Hey, D.B. What’s wrong?
D.B.: Hi, Mr. Mike. I am worn out.
MR. MIKE: Why are you so worn out?
D.B.: My mama asked e to make my bed.
MR. MIKE: Making your bed wore you out?
D.B.: Of course not!
MR. MIKE: Well, it sounded like…
D.B.: Do I look some sort of baby bunny?
MR. MIKE: No, but…
D.B.: I can make my bed without getting worn out.
MR. MIKE: I was just going by what you said…
D.B.: Besides, I did not even make my bed.
MR. MIKE: D.B.! Why in the world did you make your bed?
D.B.: It is not fun making by bed. I wanted to do something fun.
MR. MIKE: Do did you play?
D.B.: No, I hided.
MR. MIKE: That doesn’t sound like much fun. Where’d you hide?
D.B.: I tried to hide in the bathroom.
MR. MIKE: How’d that work out for you?
D.B.: With 98 brothers and sisters, not so good. Our bathroom sees a lot of action.
MR. MIKE: I imagine it does. SO what did you do next?
D.B.: I tried the pantry, but it was too small. I tried the den, but it was too big. I tried the attic, but it was too high. I tried the basement, but it was too low. I tried the oven, but it was too hot. I tried to freezer, but it was too cold. Then I tried the doghouse, and it was just right.
MR. MIKE: The doghouse? Was that a good place to hide?
D.B.: It was, until the dog showed up.
MR. MIKE: Oh, was he mad you were in his house?
D.B.: No, he wanted to play. He started to bark and to wrestle and to chase me around and to give me his slobbery ball.
MR. MIKE: You can’t have that. Your mother might notice.
D.B.: Exactly.
MR. MIKE: So what did you do?
D.B.: I climbed up a tree to get away.
MR. MIKE: Did that work?
D.B.: Oh yes! Until I discovered that I had climbed too high, and I was too scared to climb down.
MR. MIKE: Oh my. What did you do?
D.B.: I did not do anything. I was afraid to move.
MR. MIKE: How’d you get down?
D.B.: My mama heard the dog barking and saw him chase me up the tree. I told her I was oh so sorry for not making my bed, and could she please help me get down.
MR. MIKE: And did she?
D.B.: Of course. My mama is a very good mama.
MR. MIKE: Of course she is. So did you learn your lesson?
D.B.: Oh, yes. I will never try to hide in the doghouse again.
MR. MIKE: No, that it’s easier to be obedient than to try to run away from it.
D.B.: Oh, that. But I was going to make my bed — eventually.
MR. MIKE: Delayed obedience is disobedience. It’s always better to be obedient right away.
D.B.: I guess you are right. It I had made my bed when my mama told me to, I would already be done. I would have been playing instead of stuck up a tree.
MR. MIKE: You got it. What are you going to do now, D.B.?
D.B.: I am going to go make my bed.
MR. MIKE: That’s a good fellow.
D.B.: Bye, Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: Bye, D.B.
A lesson about obedience.
Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
none
(Opens with MR. MIKE on stage.)
D.B.: (enters & collapses from exhaustion)
MR. MIKE: Hey, D.B. What’s wrong?
D.B.: Hi, Mr. Mike. I am worn out.
MR. MIKE: Why are you so worn out?
D.B.: My mama asked e to make my bed.
MR. MIKE: Making your bed wore you out?
D.B.: Of course not!
MR. MIKE: Well, it sounded like…
D.B.: Do I look some sort of baby bunny?
MR. MIKE: No, but…
D.B.: I can make my bed without getting worn out.
MR. MIKE: I was just going by what you said…
D.B.: Besides, I did not even make my bed.
MR. MIKE: D.B.! Why in the world did you make your bed?
D.B.: It is not fun making by bed. I wanted to do something fun.
MR. MIKE: Do did you play?
D.B.: No, I hided.
MR. MIKE: That doesn’t sound like much fun. Where’d you hide?
D.B.: I tried to hide in the bathroom.
MR. MIKE: How’d that work out for you?
D.B.: With 98 brothers and sisters, not so good. Our bathroom sees a lot of action.
MR. MIKE: I imagine it does. SO what did you do next?
D.B.: I tried the pantry, but it was too small. I tried the den, but it was too big. I tried the attic, but it was too high. I tried the basement, but it was too low. I tried the oven, but it was too hot. I tried to freezer, but it was too cold. Then I tried the doghouse, and it was just right.
MR. MIKE: The doghouse? Was that a good place to hide?
D.B.: It was, until the dog showed up.
MR. MIKE: Oh, was he mad you were in his house?
D.B.: No, he wanted to play. He started to bark and to wrestle and to chase me around and to give me his slobbery ball.
MR. MIKE: You can’t have that. Your mother might notice.
D.B.: Exactly.
MR. MIKE: So what did you do?
D.B.: I climbed up a tree to get away.
MR. MIKE: Did that work?
D.B.: Oh yes! Until I discovered that I had climbed too high, and I was too scared to climb down.
MR. MIKE: Oh my. What did you do?
D.B.: I did not do anything. I was afraid to move.
MR. MIKE: How’d you get down?
D.B.: My mama heard the dog barking and saw him chase me up the tree. I told her I was oh so sorry for not making my bed, and could she please help me get down.
MR. MIKE: And did she?
D.B.: Of course. My mama is a very good mama.
MR. MIKE: Of course she is. So did you learn your lesson?
D.B.: Oh, yes. I will never try to hide in the doghouse again.
MR. MIKE: No, that it’s easier to be obedient than to try to run away from it.
D.B.: Oh, that. But I was going to make my bed — eventually.
MR. MIKE: Delayed obedience is disobedience. It’s always better to be obedient right away.
D.B.: I guess you are right. It I had made my bed when my mama told me to, I would already be done. I would have been playing instead of stuck up a tree.
MR. MIKE: You got it. What are you going to do now, D.B.?
D.B.: I am going to go make my bed.
MR. MIKE: That’s a good fellow.
D.B.: Bye, Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: Bye, D.B.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Little Monsters
Scripture Reference: Mark 10:13-16
A lesson in the importance of children’s ministry.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
CHRIS – the worship leader who sets him straight
Props:
None
(Note: Our pastor was out yesterday, and I was asked to deliver the message and share my heart about children's ministry. I started with this puppet skit.)
(CHRIS is on stage when OZZIE enters.)
OZZIE: Hey, Mr. Chris.
CHRIS: Hi, Ozzie.
OZZIE: (noticing the sanctuary) Wow! This is a swell place you have here, Mr. Chris. It’s enormous.
CHRIS: (amused) This isn’t my place. This is the sanctuary. Haven’t you been in here before?
OZZIE: No. When I visit your church, I just go to the children’s church room with Mr. Jeff and Mr. Mike and Mr. Matt and… Hey, there’s Miss Rebecca. Hi, Miss Rebecca! (give her a chance to respond and possibly some interaction)And there’s Miss Starr all the way back there. Hi, Miss Starr! (give her a chance to respond and possibly some interaction)
CHRIS: So do you like it in here?
OZZIE: Yeah! It’s sweet! And you sure sing better than Mr. Jeff.
JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can hear you.
OZZIE: (looks down then shrugs) And when I go to monster church, they never let the little monsters go in the sanctuary.
CHRIS: Why not?
OZZIE: They say we’re too little and we can go in when we get bigger.
CHRIS: But don’t you have grown-ups who come back to your classroom?
OZZIE: They really don’t like being back there.
CHRIS: Why’s that?
OZZIE: Would you want to be in a room full of little monsters?
CHRIS: I see your point, but you have some grown-ups who help, don’t you?
OZZIE: Oh, sure. And we have lots of fun.
CHRIS: Like what?
OZZIE: We sing songs.
CHRIS: Bible songs?
OZZIE: No. But we have stories.
CHRIS: Bible stories?
OZZIE: No. We do memorize verses.
CHRIS: Bible verses?
OZZIE: No.
CHRIS: Do you use the Bible at all?
OZZIE: Oh, yeah! We use one to prop up one end of our big screen TV.
CHRIS: Big screen TV?
OZZIE: Yeah! This morning we started watching Braveheart. Our teachers say that it has great spiritual significance.
CHRIS: Doesn’t anyone actually read the Bible?
OZZIE: Oh, no. The teachers say they have a hard time understanding all of the Bible, so there’s no way we kids could ever understand it.
CHRIS: But don’t the teachers here read the Bible when you visit?
OZZIE: Oh, yeah. And they memorize verses.
CHRIS: Bible verses?
OZZIE: Yeah. And they have stories.
CHRIS: Bible stories?
OZZIE: Yeah. And they sing songs.
CHRIS: Bible songs?
OZZIE: Yeah. But they do have to listen to Mr. Jeff sing them.
JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can still hear you.
OZZIE: (looks down then back at Chris) So kids really can learn stuff from the Bible?
CHRIS: They sure can.
OZZIE: I think I’m gonna talk to my teachers about using the Bible more.
CHRIS: That’s a great idea, Ozzie.
OZZIE: But I think I’m gonna wait a week before I tell them.
CHRIS: Why wait?
OZZIE: Because I want to see how Braveheart ends. (exits)
CHRIS: Ozzie!
A lesson in the importance of children’s ministry.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
CHRIS – the worship leader who sets him straight
Props:
None
(Note: Our pastor was out yesterday, and I was asked to deliver the message and share my heart about children's ministry. I started with this puppet skit.)
(CHRIS is on stage when OZZIE enters.)
OZZIE: Hey, Mr. Chris.
CHRIS: Hi, Ozzie.
OZZIE: (noticing the sanctuary) Wow! This is a swell place you have here, Mr. Chris. It’s enormous.
CHRIS: (amused) This isn’t my place. This is the sanctuary. Haven’t you been in here before?
OZZIE: No. When I visit your church, I just go to the children’s church room with Mr. Jeff and Mr. Mike and Mr. Matt and… Hey, there’s Miss Rebecca. Hi, Miss Rebecca! (give her a chance to respond and possibly some interaction)And there’s Miss Starr all the way back there. Hi, Miss Starr! (give her a chance to respond and possibly some interaction)
CHRIS: So do you like it in here?
OZZIE: Yeah! It’s sweet! And you sure sing better than Mr. Jeff.
JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can hear you.
OZZIE: (looks down then shrugs) And when I go to monster church, they never let the little monsters go in the sanctuary.
CHRIS: Why not?
OZZIE: They say we’re too little and we can go in when we get bigger.
CHRIS: But don’t you have grown-ups who come back to your classroom?
OZZIE: They really don’t like being back there.
CHRIS: Why’s that?
OZZIE: Would you want to be in a room full of little monsters?
CHRIS: I see your point, but you have some grown-ups who help, don’t you?
OZZIE: Oh, sure. And we have lots of fun.
CHRIS: Like what?
OZZIE: We sing songs.
CHRIS: Bible songs?
OZZIE: No. But we have stories.
CHRIS: Bible stories?
OZZIE: No. We do memorize verses.
CHRIS: Bible verses?
OZZIE: No.
CHRIS: Do you use the Bible at all?
OZZIE: Oh, yeah! We use one to prop up one end of our big screen TV.
CHRIS: Big screen TV?
OZZIE: Yeah! This morning we started watching Braveheart. Our teachers say that it has great spiritual significance.
CHRIS: Doesn’t anyone actually read the Bible?
OZZIE: Oh, no. The teachers say they have a hard time understanding all of the Bible, so there’s no way we kids could ever understand it.
CHRIS: But don’t the teachers here read the Bible when you visit?
OZZIE: Oh, yeah. And they memorize verses.
CHRIS: Bible verses?
OZZIE: Yeah. And they have stories.
CHRIS: Bible stories?
OZZIE: Yeah. And they sing songs.
CHRIS: Bible songs?
OZZIE: Yeah. But they do have to listen to Mr. Jeff sing them.
JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can still hear you.
OZZIE: (looks down then back at Chris) So kids really can learn stuff from the Bible?
CHRIS: They sure can.
OZZIE: I think I’m gonna talk to my teachers about using the Bible more.
CHRIS: That’s a great idea, Ozzie.
OZZIE: But I think I’m gonna wait a week before I tell them.
CHRIS: Why wait?
OZZIE: Because I want to see how Braveheart ends. (exits)
CHRIS: Ozzie!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Bowling for Dillies
Scripture Reference: Esther 1-10
A lesson in “for such a time as this.”
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR begins on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: Good morning, Miss Starr.
MISS STARR: Hi, Dilly. How are you doing?
DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair, but it has been a most harrowing day.
MISS STARR: Oh my. What happened?
DILLY: Well, I was crossing the road…
MISS STARR: To get to the other side?
DILLY: (annoyed) No. I was going to meet Flora to go see a movie.
MISS STARR: A chick flick?
DILLY: You’re about as funny as a duck on a cold winter’s morning.
MISS STARR: Sorry. Go on.
DILLY: As I was saying, I went to get Flora, and I thought she had laid an egg – a huge, black egg.
MISS STARR: Oh my. Tell me, does it hurt to lay an egg?
DILLY: It’s a bit like blowing a potato…
MISS STARR: That doesn’t sound so bad.
DILLY: Out of your nose.
MISS STARR: Ouch!
DILLY: Ouch, indeed. So you can just imagine how much it would hurt to lay an egg the size of a bowling ball.
MISS STARR: That big? Is Flora okay?
DILLY: Oh, she’s finer that a dog hair split three ways. Turns out that it really was a bowling ball.
MISS STARR: That’s good, but why was there a bowling ball in the chicken coop?
DILLY: I reckon one of them good-for-nothing roosters left it there.
MISS STARR: What did you do with it?
DILLY: Well, it was a rental, so Flora and I resolved to return it to the bowling alley.
MISS STARR: That was very thoughtful of you.
DILLY: I am nothing if not thoughtful and understanding. Besides, I knew that sluggard would never to it himself.
MISS STARR: Regardless, it was very nice of you.
DILLY: It was more than nice; it was downright heroic.
MISS STARR: Heroic? How so?
DILLY: Well, I only weigh six pounds soaking wet.
MISS STARR: (silently stares incredulously)
DILLY: Okay, eight pounds. The point being, that I weigh significantly less than that bowling ball.
MISS STARR: What did you do?
DILLY: We decided to roll it.
MISS STARR: That was clever.
DILLY: We thought so, too. ‘Til we go to the hill.
MISS STARR: Oh no! What happened?
DILLY: Well, there were ten people standing at the bottom of the hill lined up just like bowling pins.
MISS STARR: Did you make a strike?
DILLY: Fortunately, we are abysmal bowlers, and it was a gutter ball.
MISS STARR: Phew!
DILLY: Don’t “phew” yet. The ball rolled up the curb and flew into the air.
MISS STARR: (flinching) And?
DILLY: Landed in the mud.
MISS STARR: That’s good.
DILLY: Not for the ten people at the bottom of the hill.
MISS STARR: Oh dear.
DILLY: They had so much mud on them that they looked like pigs that had been wallerin’ in the mud.
MISS STARR: I bet they were mad.
DILLY: They were madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three-legged cat, so we hightailed it outta there with that bowling ball.
MISS STARR: I’m glad you two were all right. Did you finally make it to the bowling alley?
DILLY: Yes, we did, and it took some convincing to get the proprietor to take the ball back.
MISS STARR: Why’s that?
DILLY: He accused us of steeling it. Can you imagine? I told him he was barking up the wrong tree.
MISS STARR: Of course. You’d never steel anything.
DILLY: Well, he finally remembered that it was that cocky little bantam rooster who had that ball, and he let us go.
MISS STARR: Good for you. Did you make it to your movie?
DILLY: We had just enough time to make it, but as we were leaving, we ran into that cocky little bantam. Well, I gave him a piece of my mind, when he explained that he’d gotten a phone call last night that his mamma had taken ill. He was so distraught that he left the alley with the ball.
MISS STARR: Did you see if you could help him?
DILLY: No, we were going to be late to our movie.
MISS STARR: Dilly! Who knows whether you had not come to the bowling alley for such a time as this?
DILLY: Whatever do you mean?
MISS STARR: Don’t you see that God got you exactly where He wanted you, so you could comfort and help that bantam and his mom?
DILLY: Well, tie me to an anthill and put jam in my ears! I do reckon you are correct, Miss Starr. I am much obliged. I will go now and comfort that young rooster.
MISS STARR: And don’t forget his mom. Maybe you can bring her some chicken soup. (realizes what she just said)
DILLY: That is just sick!
MISS STARR: Sorry. I forgot who I was talking to.
DILLY: That’s okay. Every dog should have a few fleas. (growing excitement) I could make his mamma a nice corn chowder and a loaf of 7-grain bread. Oh, and I have the loveliest dishes I could use. And I could make her some sweet tea. And… And… I need to bet busy. (quickly exits)
MISS STARR: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forget – bye, y’all! (exits)
A lesson in “for such a time as this.”
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR begins on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: Good morning, Miss Starr.
MISS STARR: Hi, Dilly. How are you doing?
DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair, but it has been a most harrowing day.
MISS STARR: Oh my. What happened?
DILLY: Well, I was crossing the road…
MISS STARR: To get to the other side?
DILLY: (annoyed) No. I was going to meet Flora to go see a movie.
MISS STARR: A chick flick?
DILLY: You’re about as funny as a duck on a cold winter’s morning.
MISS STARR: Sorry. Go on.
DILLY: As I was saying, I went to get Flora, and I thought she had laid an egg – a huge, black egg.
MISS STARR: Oh my. Tell me, does it hurt to lay an egg?
DILLY: It’s a bit like blowing a potato…
MISS STARR: That doesn’t sound so bad.
DILLY: Out of your nose.
MISS STARR: Ouch!
DILLY: Ouch, indeed. So you can just imagine how much it would hurt to lay an egg the size of a bowling ball.
MISS STARR: That big? Is Flora okay?
DILLY: Oh, she’s finer that a dog hair split three ways. Turns out that it really was a bowling ball.
MISS STARR: That’s good, but why was there a bowling ball in the chicken coop?
DILLY: I reckon one of them good-for-nothing roosters left it there.
MISS STARR: What did you do with it?
DILLY: Well, it was a rental, so Flora and I resolved to return it to the bowling alley.
MISS STARR: That was very thoughtful of you.
DILLY: I am nothing if not thoughtful and understanding. Besides, I knew that sluggard would never to it himself.
MISS STARR: Regardless, it was very nice of you.
DILLY: It was more than nice; it was downright heroic.
MISS STARR: Heroic? How so?
DILLY: Well, I only weigh six pounds soaking wet.
MISS STARR: (silently stares incredulously)
DILLY: Okay, eight pounds. The point being, that I weigh significantly less than that bowling ball.
MISS STARR: What did you do?
DILLY: We decided to roll it.
MISS STARR: That was clever.
DILLY: We thought so, too. ‘Til we go to the hill.
MISS STARR: Oh no! What happened?
DILLY: Well, there were ten people standing at the bottom of the hill lined up just like bowling pins.
MISS STARR: Did you make a strike?
DILLY: Fortunately, we are abysmal bowlers, and it was a gutter ball.
MISS STARR: Phew!
DILLY: Don’t “phew” yet. The ball rolled up the curb and flew into the air.
MISS STARR: (flinching) And?
DILLY: Landed in the mud.
MISS STARR: That’s good.
DILLY: Not for the ten people at the bottom of the hill.
MISS STARR: Oh dear.
DILLY: They had so much mud on them that they looked like pigs that had been wallerin’ in the mud.
MISS STARR: I bet they were mad.
DILLY: They were madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three-legged cat, so we hightailed it outta there with that bowling ball.
MISS STARR: I’m glad you two were all right. Did you finally make it to the bowling alley?
DILLY: Yes, we did, and it took some convincing to get the proprietor to take the ball back.
MISS STARR: Why’s that?
DILLY: He accused us of steeling it. Can you imagine? I told him he was barking up the wrong tree.
MISS STARR: Of course. You’d never steel anything.
DILLY: Well, he finally remembered that it was that cocky little bantam rooster who had that ball, and he let us go.
MISS STARR: Good for you. Did you make it to your movie?
DILLY: We had just enough time to make it, but as we were leaving, we ran into that cocky little bantam. Well, I gave him a piece of my mind, when he explained that he’d gotten a phone call last night that his mamma had taken ill. He was so distraught that he left the alley with the ball.
MISS STARR: Did you see if you could help him?
DILLY: No, we were going to be late to our movie.
MISS STARR: Dilly! Who knows whether you had not come to the bowling alley for such a time as this?
DILLY: Whatever do you mean?
MISS STARR: Don’t you see that God got you exactly where He wanted you, so you could comfort and help that bantam and his mom?
DILLY: Well, tie me to an anthill and put jam in my ears! I do reckon you are correct, Miss Starr. I am much obliged. I will go now and comfort that young rooster.
MISS STARR: And don’t forget his mom. Maybe you can bring her some chicken soup. (realizes what she just said)
DILLY: That is just sick!
MISS STARR: Sorry. I forgot who I was talking to.
DILLY: That’s okay. Every dog should have a few fleas. (growing excitement) I could make his mamma a nice corn chowder and a loaf of 7-grain bread. Oh, and I have the loveliest dishes I could use. And I could make her some sweet tea. And… And… I need to bet busy. (quickly exits)
MISS STARR: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forget – bye, y’all! (exits)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
On the Bubble
Scripture Reference: Nehemiah 1-13
A lesson in rebuilding.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR is on stage talking to the children. OZZIE peaks over the stage and looks around. MISS STARR finally notices.)
MISS STARR: Ozzie, what in the world are you doing?
OZZIE: I’m making sure my mommy and daddy aren’t here.
MISS STARR: They aren’t here. Why are you avoiding them?
OZZIE: ‘Cause I’m not sure they love me any more.
MISS STARR: Ozzie! I’m sure your parents love you. Why would you think they don’t.
OZZIE: They were really mad at me, and they put me in timeout for 70 minutes.
MISS STARR: Why 70 minutes?
OZZIE: Because of my sister Izzie standing where she shouldn’t have been.
MISS STARR: You got 70 minutes of timeout, because Izzie was standing in the wrong place?
OZZIE: Yeah! I told her not to stand in front of me when I was chewing bubblegum, but she just stood there and kept talking to me.
MISS STARR: What was she talking to you about?
OZZIE: She was went on and on about how I wasn’t suppose to be chewing gum.
MISS STARR: Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place? You got a timeout for being disobedient. Did Izzie tattle?
OZZIE: Only after the bubble popped.
MISS STARR: What bubble?
OZZIE: The bubble that popped right where she was standing.
MISS STARR: It popped on Izzie?
OZZIE: Uh-huh.
MISS STARR: Was it a big bubble?
OZZIE: Oh yeah!
MISS STARR: How big?
OZZIE: You know how I got timeout for 70 minutes?
MISS STARR: Yes.
OZZIE: That was 10 minutes for every gum.
MISS STARR: You had 7 sticks of gum in your mouth?
OZZIE: No!
MISS STARR: Then what did you have?
OZZIE: Ever hear of Bubble Tape?
MISS STARR: Yeah.
OZZIE: I had 7 feet of gum.
MISS STARR: Ozzie! That’s too much gum!
OZZIE: Well, I know that now.
MISS STARR: How big was the bubble?
OZZIE: Have you ever seen Raiders of the Lost Ark?
MISS STARR: Sure.
OZZIE: You know that scene at the beginning where Indie switches the bag for the statue?
MISS STARR: The bubble was as big as the sack?
OZZIE: No.
MISS STARR: As big as the statue?
OZZIE: No.
MISS STARR: You don’t mean it was as huge as the ball that came rolling towards Indie, do you?
OZZIE: Uh-huh.
MISS STARR: Oh my! That must have completely covered your sister with gum.
OZZIE: Not completely. (pause) The bottoms of her feet didn’t get any gum on them.
MISS STARR: Ozzie! I can see why your parents were so made.
OZZIE: I know.
MISS STARR: Not only were you disobedient, but you made a huge mess.
OZZIE: I know. I know.
MISS STARR: So now you’re avoiding your parents.
OZZIE: They don’t love me any more.
MISS STARR: I’m sure they do love you, but they are also disappointed in you.
OZZIE: And mad.
MISS STARR: I’m sure they are.
OZZIE: Really mad.
MISS STARR: But you can fix it. You need to work on being obedient. Show them that you can be trusted.
OZZIE: But they are really, REALLY mad.
MISS STARR: They’ll get over it. Your parents will never stop loving you no matter how made they get.
OZZIE: Even when they are really, really, REALLY mad?
MISS STARR: Even then. You can rebuild your relationship.
OZZIE: Oh. Well, I think I’ve learned my lesson, Miss Starr.
MISS STARR: I’m glad to hear that, Ozzie.
OZZIE: And I’ve also learned not to blow bubbles with 7 feet of bubblegum.
MISS STARR: Well, I hope not.
OZZIE: Except when Izzie’s around. She looked so funny covered with gum. (exits)
MISS STARR: Ozzie!
A lesson in rebuilding.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR is on stage talking to the children. OZZIE peaks over the stage and looks around. MISS STARR finally notices.)
MISS STARR: Ozzie, what in the world are you doing?
OZZIE: I’m making sure my mommy and daddy aren’t here.
MISS STARR: They aren’t here. Why are you avoiding them?
OZZIE: ‘Cause I’m not sure they love me any more.
MISS STARR: Ozzie! I’m sure your parents love you. Why would you think they don’t.
OZZIE: They were really mad at me, and they put me in timeout for 70 minutes.
MISS STARR: Why 70 minutes?
OZZIE: Because of my sister Izzie standing where she shouldn’t have been.
MISS STARR: You got 70 minutes of timeout, because Izzie was standing in the wrong place?
OZZIE: Yeah! I told her not to stand in front of me when I was chewing bubblegum, but she just stood there and kept talking to me.
MISS STARR: What was she talking to you about?
OZZIE: She was went on and on about how I wasn’t suppose to be chewing gum.
MISS STARR: Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place? You got a timeout for being disobedient. Did Izzie tattle?
OZZIE: Only after the bubble popped.
MISS STARR: What bubble?
OZZIE: The bubble that popped right where she was standing.
MISS STARR: It popped on Izzie?
OZZIE: Uh-huh.
MISS STARR: Was it a big bubble?
OZZIE: Oh yeah!
MISS STARR: How big?
OZZIE: You know how I got timeout for 70 minutes?
MISS STARR: Yes.
OZZIE: That was 10 minutes for every gum.
MISS STARR: You had 7 sticks of gum in your mouth?
OZZIE: No!
MISS STARR: Then what did you have?
OZZIE: Ever hear of Bubble Tape?
MISS STARR: Yeah.
OZZIE: I had 7 feet of gum.
MISS STARR: Ozzie! That’s too much gum!
OZZIE: Well, I know that now.
MISS STARR: How big was the bubble?
OZZIE: Have you ever seen Raiders of the Lost Ark?
MISS STARR: Sure.
OZZIE: You know that scene at the beginning where Indie switches the bag for the statue?
MISS STARR: The bubble was as big as the sack?
OZZIE: No.
MISS STARR: As big as the statue?
OZZIE: No.
MISS STARR: You don’t mean it was as huge as the ball that came rolling towards Indie, do you?
OZZIE: Uh-huh.
MISS STARR: Oh my! That must have completely covered your sister with gum.
OZZIE: Not completely. (pause) The bottoms of her feet didn’t get any gum on them.
MISS STARR: Ozzie! I can see why your parents were so made.
OZZIE: I know.
MISS STARR: Not only were you disobedient, but you made a huge mess.
OZZIE: I know. I know.
MISS STARR: So now you’re avoiding your parents.
OZZIE: They don’t love me any more.
MISS STARR: I’m sure they do love you, but they are also disappointed in you.
OZZIE: And mad.
MISS STARR: I’m sure they are.
OZZIE: Really mad.
MISS STARR: But you can fix it. You need to work on being obedient. Show them that you can be trusted.
OZZIE: But they are really, REALLY mad.
MISS STARR: They’ll get over it. Your parents will never stop loving you no matter how made they get.
OZZIE: Even when they are really, really, REALLY mad?
MISS STARR: Even then. You can rebuild your relationship.
OZZIE: Oh. Well, I think I’ve learned my lesson, Miss Starr.
MISS STARR: I’m glad to hear that, Ozzie.
OZZIE: And I’ve also learned not to blow bubbles with 7 feet of bubblegum.
MISS STARR: Well, I hope not.
OZZIE: Except when Izzie’s around. She looked so funny covered with gum. (exits)
MISS STARR: Ozzie!
Monday, July 26, 2010
As the Worm Turns
Scripture Reference: Daniel 6
A lesson in God’s protection.
Cast:
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
(NOTE: All of Squiggly’s dialog is done with a kazoo. The words are provided as a guide for the vocalization and movement.)
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MR. MATT is on stage when SQUIGGLY enters clearly shaken.)
MR. MATT: Hi, Squiggly. Where’s Ozzie?
SQUIGGLY: I don’t know.
MR. MATT: Is something bothering you?
SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.
MR. MATT: Is D.B. trying to take you fishing again, so he can use you for bait?
SQUIGGLY: Uh-uh.
MR. MATT: Did Dilly invite you over for dinner again, and forget to tell you that you were on the menu?
SQUIGGLY: Uh-uh.
MR. MATT: Hmmm. Are you have trouble with Ozzie’s friends again?
SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.
MR. MATT: What are they trying to get you to do now?
SQUIGGLY: (At this point, SQUIGGLY goes into a long detailed explanation. No one can actually understand it, but MR. MATT will go along like he understand. MR. MATT will nod, shake his head, and say “Yeah,” “Really?” “No!” etc. SQUIGGLY ends by pausing and looking at MR. MATT.)
MR. MATT: I can’t believe they want you to do that! What did you tell them?
SQUIGGLY: Grrr!
MR. MATT: Good for you, Squiggly. You chose to do what was right in God’s sight rather than doing what Ozzie’s so-called friends wanted you to do.
SQUIGGLY: Aw.
MR. MATT: You know they might be mad at you.
SQUIGGLY: Huh?!?
MR. MATT: For not going along with their scheme.
SQUIGGLY: Uh-oh!
MR. MATT: I wouldn’t worry about it. God is on your side.
SQUIGGLY: Phew.
MR. MATT: If anything, I’d worry about them.
SQUIGGLY: Ha ha ha!
MR. MATT: It is always better to be on God’s side.
SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh!
MR. MATT: Well, I’ve enjoyed our talk. You have some really perceptive insights, Squiggly.
SQUIGGLY: Aw.
MR. MATT: Do you feel better?
SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.
MR. MATT: Good. See you later, Squiggly.
SQUIGGLY: Bye-bye.
A lesson in God’s protection.
Cast:
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
(NOTE: All of Squiggly’s dialog is done with a kazoo. The words are provided as a guide for the vocalization and movement.)
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MR. MATT is on stage when SQUIGGLY enters clearly shaken.)
MR. MATT: Hi, Squiggly. Where’s Ozzie?
SQUIGGLY: I don’t know.
MR. MATT: Is something bothering you?
SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.
MR. MATT: Is D.B. trying to take you fishing again, so he can use you for bait?
SQUIGGLY: Uh-uh.
MR. MATT: Did Dilly invite you over for dinner again, and forget to tell you that you were on the menu?
SQUIGGLY: Uh-uh.
MR. MATT: Hmmm. Are you have trouble with Ozzie’s friends again?
SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.
MR. MATT: What are they trying to get you to do now?
SQUIGGLY: (At this point, SQUIGGLY goes into a long detailed explanation. No one can actually understand it, but MR. MATT will go along like he understand. MR. MATT will nod, shake his head, and say “Yeah,” “Really?” “No!” etc. SQUIGGLY ends by pausing and looking at MR. MATT.)
MR. MATT: I can’t believe they want you to do that! What did you tell them?
SQUIGGLY: Grrr!
MR. MATT: Good for you, Squiggly. You chose to do what was right in God’s sight rather than doing what Ozzie’s so-called friends wanted you to do.
SQUIGGLY: Aw.
MR. MATT: You know they might be mad at you.
SQUIGGLY: Huh?!?
MR. MATT: For not going along with their scheme.
SQUIGGLY: Uh-oh!
MR. MATT: I wouldn’t worry about it. God is on your side.
SQUIGGLY: Phew.
MR. MATT: If anything, I’d worry about them.
SQUIGGLY: Ha ha ha!
MR. MATT: It is always better to be on God’s side.
SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh!
MR. MATT: Well, I’ve enjoyed our talk. You have some really perceptive insights, Squiggly.
SQUIGGLY: Aw.
MR. MATT: Do you feel better?
SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.
MR. MATT: Good. See you later, Squiggly.
SQUIGGLY: Bye-bye.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Flood
Scripture Reference: 2 Kings 5
A lesson in our expectations for God.
Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
none
(MISS REBECCA is on stage when D.B. enters.)
D.B.: Hi, Miss Rebecca. How are you today?
MISS REBECCA: Hey, D.B. I’m doing fine. I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?
D.B.: I have been on vacation with my mama and dad and brothers and sisters.
MISS REBECCA: How many brothers and sisters do you have?
D.B.: 98.
MISS REBECCA: Your parents have 99 children? Why not 100?
D.B.: That would be ridiculous.
MISS REBECCA: Sorry, I just thought…
D.B.: 100 kids!
MISS REBECCA: Okay, never mind…
D.B.: Who do you think we are? Bun & Kate Plus 108?
MISS REBECCA: I guess I wasn’t thinking. So where’d you go for your vacation?
D.B.: We went to Nashville.
MISS REBECCA: Haven’t they had a lot of flooding there?
D.B.: Yes. We did not mean to go there, but we should have made a left turn at Albuquerque.
MISS REBECCA: It really bugs me when that happens. So did you have a good time?
D.B.: It was a lot of fun until I got caught up in a flash flood.
MISS REBECCA: (very concerned) Oh dear! What happened?
D.B.: I climbed up on a building, and the water quickly rose up to the first floor.
MISS REBECCA: What did you do?
D.B.: Well, a boat came to rescue me.
MISS REBECCA: That’s great!
D.B.: But I sent it away.
MISS REBECCA: Why in the world did you do that?!?
D.B.: I told them I had prayed to God and go rescue someone who has less faith.
MISS REBECCA: Good grief! What happened next?
D.B.: The water kept rising and soon it was up to the second floor. I cried out to God, and soon a helicopter came.
MISS REBECCA: Thank God! I hope you had the sense to get on it.
D.B.: Oh no. I told them I had prayed to God and go save someone who has less faith.
MISS REBECCA: D.B.! How did you get saved?
D.B.: I did not. The water finally covered the building, and I floated away.
MISS REBECCA: Oh my! What happened?!?
D.B.: I died.
MISS REBECCA: (dubiously) You died?
D.B.: Yes, I died and went to heaven. When I met God I told Him that I had prayed to be saved. Why did He not save me?
MISS REBECCA: And what did He say?
D.B.: He said, “I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want?”
MISS REBECCA: (annoyed) D.B., that’s an old joke.
D.B.: (snickers) I know, Miss Rebecca, but I like that joke.
MISS REBECCA: But you know what? It ties in very well with our lesson today?
D.B.: Really?
MISS REBECCA: Yes, we are going to read a story about a man named Naaman. He wanted something from God, and he was disappointed when God didn’t do it in the way he thought it should be done.
D.B.: He must have thought he was smarter than God.
MISS REBECCA: Maybe. Sometimes we put expectations on how God should do something, and we miss it when He does it His way.
D.B.: Well, I know if God sent a boat for real to rescue me, I would get in.
MISS REBECCA: Good for you. I guess you’re a lot smarter than Naaman.
D.B.: That is not saying much. Well, I better go unpack, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: Okay, D.B.
D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.
A lesson in our expectations for God.
Cast:D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
none
(MISS REBECCA is on stage when D.B. enters.)
D.B.: Hi, Miss Rebecca. How are you today?
MISS REBECCA: Hey, D.B. I’m doing fine. I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?
D.B.: I have been on vacation with my mama and dad and brothers and sisters.
MISS REBECCA: How many brothers and sisters do you have?
D.B.: 98.
MISS REBECCA: Your parents have 99 children? Why not 100?
D.B.: That would be ridiculous.
MISS REBECCA: Sorry, I just thought…
D.B.: 100 kids!
MISS REBECCA: Okay, never mind…
D.B.: Who do you think we are? Bun & Kate Plus 108?
MISS REBECCA: I guess I wasn’t thinking. So where’d you go for your vacation?
D.B.: We went to Nashville.
MISS REBECCA: Haven’t they had a lot of flooding there?
D.B.: Yes. We did not mean to go there, but we should have made a left turn at Albuquerque.
MISS REBECCA: It really bugs me when that happens. So did you have a good time?
D.B.: It was a lot of fun until I got caught up in a flash flood.
MISS REBECCA: (very concerned) Oh dear! What happened?
D.B.: I climbed up on a building, and the water quickly rose up to the first floor.
MISS REBECCA: What did you do?
D.B.: Well, a boat came to rescue me.
MISS REBECCA: That’s great!
D.B.: But I sent it away.
MISS REBECCA: Why in the world did you do that?!?
D.B.: I told them I had prayed to God and go rescue someone who has less faith.
MISS REBECCA: Good grief! What happened next?
D.B.: The water kept rising and soon it was up to the second floor. I cried out to God, and soon a helicopter came.
MISS REBECCA: Thank God! I hope you had the sense to get on it.
D.B.: Oh no. I told them I had prayed to God and go save someone who has less faith.
MISS REBECCA: D.B.! How did you get saved?
D.B.: I did not. The water finally covered the building, and I floated away.
MISS REBECCA: Oh my! What happened?!?
D.B.: I died.
MISS REBECCA: (dubiously) You died?
D.B.: Yes, I died and went to heaven. When I met God I told Him that I had prayed to be saved. Why did He not save me?
MISS REBECCA: And what did He say?
D.B.: He said, “I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want?”
MISS REBECCA: (annoyed) D.B., that’s an old joke.
D.B.: (snickers) I know, Miss Rebecca, but I like that joke.
MISS REBECCA: But you know what? It ties in very well with our lesson today?
D.B.: Really?
MISS REBECCA: Yes, we are going to read a story about a man named Naaman. He wanted something from God, and he was disappointed when God didn’t do it in the way he thought it should be done.
D.B.: He must have thought he was smarter than God.
MISS REBECCA: Maybe. Sometimes we put expectations on how God should do something, and we miss it when He does it His way.
D.B.: Well, I know if God sent a boat for real to rescue me, I would get in.
MISS REBECCA: Good for you. I guess you’re a lot smarter than Naaman.
D.B.: That is not saying much. Well, I better go unpack, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: Okay, D.B.
D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Gravity Brings Me Down
Scripture Reference: 1 Kings 18
A lesson in truth and the one true God.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
Something to make crashing sounds (e.g., pots & pans)
(MISS REBECCA is on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: (from backstage) SQUAWK! (rustling then crashing)
MISS REBECCA: Dilly! Are you okay?
DILLY: (enters) Why I’m finer than frog hair, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: What in the world was all that commotion?
DILLY: Oh that. I was simply attempting to fly.
MISS REBECCA: Fly? Dilly, chickens can’t fly. They can’t get enough lift to overcome gravity.
DILLY: Well, that is a popular perception, but I have been studying on this subject. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t believe in gravity.
MISS REBECCA: Don’t believe in gravity?!? Gravity is a fact, not just a matter of opinion.
DILLY: That would be your opinion.
MISS REBECCA: Then how to explain that things always fall down instead of up?
DILLY: It’s a cultural thing. We as a culture have decided that we prefer that things fall down, so they fall down.
MISS REBECCA: So if I decided that I’d prefer that things fall up, they’d fall up?
DILLY: I do declare that you are beginning to latch on.
MISS REBECCA: Oh I “latch on.” I just don’t agree.
DILLY: Then you are as close-minded as a vault door.
MISS REBECCA: I don’t want to be so open-minded, though, that my brains fall out.
DILLY: Well, I’ve never been so insulted.
MISS REBECCA: (aside) The day’s still early.
DILLY: I beg your pardon!
MISS REBECCA: Nothing. So how’s the whole not-believing-in-gravity thing working out for you?
DILLY: Not as well as I’d hoped. It seems that every time I try to fly, I fall to earth like a bag of wet cement.
MISS REBECCA: And why do you think that is?
DILLY: Maybe if I just believe harder.
MISS REBECCA: Really? You already believed hard enough to try to fly. Do you really think you could believe harder?
DILLY: Maybe a bitty bit harder.
MISS REBECCA: It wouldn’t help. When something is true, it’s true no matter how hard you believe or don’t believe it.
DILLY: Well if that don’t put the pepper in the gumbo.
MISS REBECCA: Some things are just true: gravity, mathematics, God.
DILLY: Well of course God is true. You’d have to be a few fries short of a Happy Meal to think that God isn’t true.
MISS REBECCA: Exactly. God is true. Gravity is true.
DILLY: Oh my lands! I need to find Flora quicker than a rat up a drain. I fear I may been a bit too convincing in telling her gravity isn’t real, because I do believe I heard her say something about going to the top of the chicken coop and trying to fly. Flora! FLORA! (exits quickly)
MISS REBECCA: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (disappears)
A lesson in truth and the one true God.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
Something to make crashing sounds (e.g., pots & pans)
(MISS REBECCA is on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: (from backstage) SQUAWK! (rustling then crashing)
MISS REBECCA: Dilly! Are you okay?
DILLY: (enters) Why I’m finer than frog hair, Miss Rebecca.
MISS REBECCA: What in the world was all that commotion?
DILLY: Oh that. I was simply attempting to fly.
MISS REBECCA: Fly? Dilly, chickens can’t fly. They can’t get enough lift to overcome gravity.
DILLY: Well, that is a popular perception, but I have been studying on this subject. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t believe in gravity.
MISS REBECCA: Don’t believe in gravity?!? Gravity is a fact, not just a matter of opinion.
DILLY: That would be your opinion.
MISS REBECCA: Then how to explain that things always fall down instead of up?
DILLY: It’s a cultural thing. We as a culture have decided that we prefer that things fall down, so they fall down.
MISS REBECCA: So if I decided that I’d prefer that things fall up, they’d fall up?
DILLY: I do declare that you are beginning to latch on.
MISS REBECCA: Oh I “latch on.” I just don’t agree.
DILLY: Then you are as close-minded as a vault door.
MISS REBECCA: I don’t want to be so open-minded, though, that my brains fall out.
DILLY: Well, I’ve never been so insulted.
MISS REBECCA: (aside) The day’s still early.
DILLY: I beg your pardon!
MISS REBECCA: Nothing. So how’s the whole not-believing-in-gravity thing working out for you?
DILLY: Not as well as I’d hoped. It seems that every time I try to fly, I fall to earth like a bag of wet cement.
MISS REBECCA: And why do you think that is?
DILLY: Maybe if I just believe harder.
MISS REBECCA: Really? You already believed hard enough to try to fly. Do you really think you could believe harder?
DILLY: Maybe a bitty bit harder.
MISS REBECCA: It wouldn’t help. When something is true, it’s true no matter how hard you believe or don’t believe it.
DILLY: Well if that don’t put the pepper in the gumbo.
MISS REBECCA: Some things are just true: gravity, mathematics, God.
DILLY: Well of course God is true. You’d have to be a few fries short of a Happy Meal to think that God isn’t true.
MISS REBECCA: Exactly. God is true. Gravity is true.
DILLY: Oh my lands! I need to find Flora quicker than a rat up a drain. I fear I may been a bit too convincing in telling her gravity isn’t real, because I do believe I heard her say something about going to the top of the chicken coop and trying to fly. Flora! FLORA! (exits quickly)
MISS REBECCA: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (disappears)
Monday, June 28, 2010
The Skit With Lots of Exclamation Points
Scripture Reference: 1 Kings 17:7-24
A lesson in God’s provision.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR is on stage when OZZIE excitedly enters.)
OZZIE: Miss Starr! Miss Starr! Emergency! Help! Help! It’s terrible! It’s terrible!
MISS STARR: Slow down, Ozzie. What’s the matter?
OZZIE: My dad might lose his job! It’s terrible! It’s terrible!
MISS STARR: That certainly is bad.
OZZIE: Not bad – it’s terrible! It’s tragic! It’s a travesty!
MISS STARR: Ozzie, slow down. First of all, you’re borrowing trouble. Your dad hasn’t actually lost his job yet.
OZZIE: No, but if he does, it will be TERRIBLE! We’ll have no money! We’ll lose our house! We’ll starve! And Squiggly will try up to a string and blow away!
MISS STARR: Ozzie! Calm down. It’s not that bad.
OZZIE: Not that bad?!? Squiggly drying up to a withered little string and blowing away in a puff of dust isn’t just bad – IT’S TERRIBLE!
MISS STARR: That would be pretty terrible, buy why do you think that will happen?
OZZIE: Aren’t you listening?!? If my dad loses his job, WE’LL HAVE NO MONEY!
MISS STARR: But why are you putting all your faith in your dad’s job?
OZZIE: Because that’s where the money comes from!
MISS STARR: No, the money comes from God.
OZZIE: They why does my dad go to work everyday?
MISS STARR: Because that’s how God has chosen to provide for your family. If your dad loses his job, God will provide for your family in a different way.
OZZIE: So God is going to take care of us?
MISS STARR: Not only is he going to take care of you, He’s been taking care of you. That’s what the Bible promises.
OZZIE: So will God buy me a PlayStation?
MISS STARR: The Bible doesn’t promise that.
OZZIE: Oh.
MISS STARR: God promises to supply our daily needs. Sometimes he does this through natural means like a job. Sometimes He does it in supernatural ways that we can’t always understand. So do feel any better about the situation, Ozzie?
OZZIE: Yes, I do, Miss Starr. There’s just one thing.
MISS STARR: What’s that?
(SQUIGGLY appears)
OZZIE: Squiggly wants to know if God will buy him PlayStation?
(OZZIE quickly exists. SQUIGGLY looks between Ozzie and Miss Starr, gets scared, then exists quickly.)
MISS STARR: Squiggly!
A lesson in God’s provision.
Cast:OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR is on stage when OZZIE excitedly enters.)
OZZIE: Miss Starr! Miss Starr! Emergency! Help! Help! It’s terrible! It’s terrible!
MISS STARR: Slow down, Ozzie. What’s the matter?
OZZIE: My dad might lose his job! It’s terrible! It’s terrible!
MISS STARR: That certainly is bad.
OZZIE: Not bad – it’s terrible! It’s tragic! It’s a travesty!
MISS STARR: Ozzie, slow down. First of all, you’re borrowing trouble. Your dad hasn’t actually lost his job yet.
OZZIE: No, but if he does, it will be TERRIBLE! We’ll have no money! We’ll lose our house! We’ll starve! And Squiggly will try up to a string and blow away!
MISS STARR: Ozzie! Calm down. It’s not that bad.
OZZIE: Not that bad?!? Squiggly drying up to a withered little string and blowing away in a puff of dust isn’t just bad – IT’S TERRIBLE!
MISS STARR: That would be pretty terrible, buy why do you think that will happen?
OZZIE: Aren’t you listening?!? If my dad loses his job, WE’LL HAVE NO MONEY!
MISS STARR: But why are you putting all your faith in your dad’s job?
OZZIE: Because that’s where the money comes from!
MISS STARR: No, the money comes from God.
OZZIE: They why does my dad go to work everyday?
MISS STARR: Because that’s how God has chosen to provide for your family. If your dad loses his job, God will provide for your family in a different way.
OZZIE: So God is going to take care of us?
MISS STARR: Not only is he going to take care of you, He’s been taking care of you. That’s what the Bible promises.
OZZIE: So will God buy me a PlayStation?
MISS STARR: The Bible doesn’t promise that.
OZZIE: Oh.
MISS STARR: God promises to supply our daily needs. Sometimes he does this through natural means like a job. Sometimes He does it in supernatural ways that we can’t always understand. So do feel any better about the situation, Ozzie?
OZZIE: Yes, I do, Miss Starr. There’s just one thing.
MISS STARR: What’s that?
(SQUIGGLY appears)
OZZIE: Squiggly wants to know if God will buy him PlayStation?
(OZZIE quickly exists. SQUIGGLY looks between Ozzie and Miss Starr, gets scared, then exists quickly.)
MISS STARR: Squiggly!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Dilly-Dally
Scripture Reference: 1 Kings 11:9-13, 26-43, 1 Kings 12:1-24
A lesson in choices and consequences.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR is on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: Good morning, Miss Starr.
MISS STARR: Hi, Dilly. How’re you doing?
DILLY: I’m just finer than frog hair, but my life has sho’ been a whirlwind lately.
MISS STARR: Oh really? What’s going on?
DILLY: Well, about a year ago the Lord laid it on my heart to help the homeless chickens.
MISS STARR: That sounds like a wonderful thing to do.
DILLY: Well, I know it is, but some of those homeless chickens smell a might… Miss Starr, have you ever smelled an old sneaker?
MISS STARR: Yes. They don’t smell too good.
DILLY: Well, imagine if it had been worn by a fish…
MISS STARR: Dilly!
DILLY: covered in stinky cheese and cabbage.
MISS STARR: That’s not nice at all!
DILLY: Well, it’s just the truth. It doesn’t make them bad, but I’m just saying…
MISS STARR: So did you help them?
DILLY: Well, I spent a lot of time in God’s Word and praying, and I felt convicted to do it. I didn't want to do it, but I did it anyway.
MISS STARR: That’s wonderful. How’d it go?
DILLY: I got together with some other hens, and we raised money and built the most darling chicken coops you ever saw.
MISS STARR: I bet God really blessed you for your obedience.
DILLY: Oh, He has! I met the loveliest bunch of hens, and we absolutely adore spending time with one another.
MISS STARR: That’s great.
DILLY: Oh, it is. We have lunch with one another, go shopping, play pinochle. We have had more fun than a flea at a dog show.
MISS STARR: I’m so happy for you. Are you still raising money to build chicken coops?
DILLY: Well, we’ve been spending so much time at our hen parties that we really don’t have time for that any more.
MISS STARR: Have you prayed about that?
DILLY: I’ve been intendin’ to, but I’ve been busier than a bee in tar bucket.
MISS STARR: And how’s that working out for you?
DILLY: Well, now that you mention it, none too well. My friend Flora and I were remarking just the other day that we were happier when we were busy raising money for those smelly chickens that we are now just having fun.
MISS STARR: That’s because you are outside of God’s plan for you. He loves it that you’re blessed with good friends, but you can’t let those friends take the place of God.
DILLY: (excitedly) I declare that I do believe y’all are right. I need to mend my ways. I am going to call Flora and the girls directly and get to work raising money for chicken coops again. (exits quickly)
MISS STARR: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!
MISS STARR: Bye, Dilly.
A lesson in choices and consequences.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(MISS STARR is on stage when DILLY enters.)
DILLY: Good morning, Miss Starr.
MISS STARR: Hi, Dilly. How’re you doing?
DILLY: I’m just finer than frog hair, but my life has sho’ been a whirlwind lately.
MISS STARR: Oh really? What’s going on?
DILLY: Well, about a year ago the Lord laid it on my heart to help the homeless chickens.
MISS STARR: That sounds like a wonderful thing to do.
DILLY: Well, I know it is, but some of those homeless chickens smell a might… Miss Starr, have you ever smelled an old sneaker?
MISS STARR: Yes. They don’t smell too good.
DILLY: Well, imagine if it had been worn by a fish…
MISS STARR: Dilly!
DILLY: covered in stinky cheese and cabbage.
MISS STARR: That’s not nice at all!
DILLY: Well, it’s just the truth. It doesn’t make them bad, but I’m just saying…
MISS STARR: So did you help them?
DILLY: Well, I spent a lot of time in God’s Word and praying, and I felt convicted to do it. I didn't want to do it, but I did it anyway.
MISS STARR: That’s wonderful. How’d it go?
DILLY: I got together with some other hens, and we raised money and built the most darling chicken coops you ever saw.
MISS STARR: I bet God really blessed you for your obedience.
DILLY: Oh, He has! I met the loveliest bunch of hens, and we absolutely adore spending time with one another.
MISS STARR: That’s great.
DILLY: Oh, it is. We have lunch with one another, go shopping, play pinochle. We have had more fun than a flea at a dog show.
MISS STARR: I’m so happy for you. Are you still raising money to build chicken coops?
DILLY: Well, we’ve been spending so much time at our hen parties that we really don’t have time for that any more.
MISS STARR: Have you prayed about that?
DILLY: I’ve been intendin’ to, but I’ve been busier than a bee in tar bucket.
MISS STARR: And how’s that working out for you?
DILLY: Well, now that you mention it, none too well. My friend Flora and I were remarking just the other day that we were happier when we were busy raising money for those smelly chickens that we are now just having fun.
MISS STARR: That’s because you are outside of God’s plan for you. He loves it that you’re blessed with good friends, but you can’t let those friends take the place of God.
DILLY: (excitedly) I declare that I do believe y’all are right. I need to mend my ways. I am going to call Flora and the girls directly and get to work raising money for chicken coops again. (exits quickly)
MISS STARR: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!
MISS STARR: Bye, Dilly.
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