Unarmed

Scripture Reference: 1 Corinthians 12:12-31

A lesson about unity and diversity of the body.

Cast:
      TURQ – an energetic little monster from the hills
      ARM – sophisticated voice (in contrast to Turq's), like Thurston Howell III.
      FOOT – negative voice, like Glum from The Adventures of Gulliver cartoon
      BOTTOM – surfer dude

Props: 
      None

(TURQ enters and addresses the audience.)  TURQ: Hoo wee! Howdy-do, folks. Ma name is Turq and I'm a-fixin' to learn y'all about the theme verse fer this here con-fer-ence. The verse is in One Cōrinthians 12. Lemme just grab my Bible… (tries to reach but nothing happens) I sez, lemme just grab my Bible… (tries again to reach but again nothing happens) What in tarnaton is a-goin' on here? I cain't move ma arms.

ARM: We're on strike.

TURQ: Is I a-dreamin'? Ma arm is a-talkin' at me.

ARM: We've decided that we do far too much and are just underappreciated. We lift, we push, we pull, we stretch, we cross, we put your hands in the air, we put your hands in the air, we put your hands in th…

TURQ: We get the idear. Keep 'er movin'.

ARM: Anywho, we decided to go on strike until we are recognized as the most important part of the body.

TURQ: Well, I gotta hand it to ya, that makes ya 'bout as useful as a trapdoor on a rowboat.

ARM: We don't care. We are tired of being abused.

FOOT: You think you're abused? Trying being a foot.

TURQ: (looking down) What in the Sam Hill?

FOOT: You think you have it rough. How'd you like to be stood on all day? He never wears shoes. He never cuts his toenails. And heaven forbid he should turn on a light when he gets up at night. I'm tired of being stubbed. We are on strike until we are recognized as the most important part of the body.

TURQ: Well, you picked a fine time to leave my you heal. (pauses) Hey! That'd make a dandy song. (breaking into song) ♫ You picked a fine time to leave my you heal. Ten hungry tootsies and a crop in the…♪

FOOT: (clears throat loudly)

TURQ: Sorry, 'bout that.

BOTTOM: Whoa! You think you have it bad? He sits on m…

TURQ: Hesh!!! We ain't goin' there.

BOTTOM: Bummer!

TURQ: Listen, fellers, this goes right along with the theme verse fer this here con-fer-ence.

ARM: Funny how that always works out.

TURQ: Ain't it though. The verse is: there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
So don't ya see, fellers, you is all important: arms, feet, even the feller back there. If'n we is quarrelsome, we all suffer. If'n we all get along, we can get a whole mess o' stuff done. Then we can be happier'n a june bug on a tomater plant.

ARM: I suppose, but do we have to include THAT fellow back there.

BOTTOM: (indignant) Hey!

TURQ: Yep! Ev'ryone.

ARM: (reluctantly) Fine.

TURQ: But it's bigger'n 'at, fellers. Ya see all these folks here? Well, these folks and the folks they go to church with and the folks that believe in Christ all over the world is part of Christ's body. We is like His arms and His feet and His… Well, we is all part of His body. If'n we is quarrelsome, we all suffer. If'n we all get along, we can get a whole mess o' stuff done. Then we can be happier'n a woodpecker in a lumberyard.

FOOT: (in normal droopy voice) The thought of that just makes me feel so happy.

TURQ: So can I have ma arms back now?

ARM: Oh, sorry. Yes.

TURQ: (moving/flailing arms) That's better. Now that we got that settled, where was I? Oh, that's right.
Woo wee! Howdy-do, folks. Ma name is Turq and I'm a-fixin' to learn y'all about the theme verse fer this here con-fer-ence. The verse is in One Cōrinthians 12…

ARM: I think you already covered that.

TURQ: (considers) Did I? Well, roll me over and call me tumbleweed. I reckon I did. (realizing he's done) Hoo wee! Then I'm off to the fishin' hole… (looking around, realizing he shouldn't leave yet) after the con-fer-ence, of course.
Well, ā-dios, folks. (exits)

BOTTOM: The end.

Communion Etiquette

Scripture Reference:  1Corinthians 11:17-34

Cast:  

            MELISSA – cannot stop talking and fidgeting during Communion.

            COREY – clowns around during Communion trying to make MELISSA laugh.

            HANNAH – knows the proper way to celebrate Communion.

            NARRATOR – controls and comments on the action.

            ALEX – usher serving Communion; not impressed with MELISSA and COREY's antics.

Props:

            Communion elements

(Scene opens with MELISSA, COREY, and HANNAH sitting as if in church facing the audience.  MELISSA and COREY can be seen  playing around and talking, but we cannot hear them.  HANNAH is sitting quietly.  The NARRATOR stands behind them.)

NARRATOR:  Presented for you consideration.  Three young people preparing to celebrate Communion:  the Talker, the Clown, and the Worshipper.  Let's see how each takes the Communion bread.

(MELISSA and COREY  are so busy talking that MELISSA does not notice ALEX trying to serve the bread.  Finally, ALEX nudges MELISSA who takes the tray.  MELISSA picks through the tray to find just the right piece.  She finally takes one and passes the tray to COREY.  MELISSA fiddles with her bread, passing it from one hand to the other.

COREY takes one, tosses it the air, and tries to catch it in his mouth.  He then takes another and tries it again.  After several attempts, COREY sees the dirty looks from HANNAH and ALEX.  COREY takes one and passes on the tray to HANNAH.  COREY sticks the bread in his pocket.

HANNAH takes a piece, hands the tray to ALEX, and sits quietly holding the bread in her closed hand.

MELISSA eats her bread.

MELISSA and COREY start talking again while HANNAH sits quietly.)

NARRATOR:  So kids, who did the bread correctly?  (Wait for responses.)

(Standing behind MELISSA.)  Who are we suppose to pay attention to during Communion?  (The pastor.)  Do we touch all the bread before taking a piece?  (No.)

(Standing behind COREY.)  Are we suppose to play with the bread?  (No.)  What are we suppose to do with the bread?  (Hold it in our hand.)

(Standing behind HANNAH.)  We are suppose to pay attention to the pastor and be ready to take the tray when it is handed to us.  We don't play with the bread.  We hold it in our hand and wait for the pastor to say that we can eat it.  (Looks at MELISSA, who looks sheepish.)

After the pastor says they can eat the bread (HANNAH eats the bread)…  (Looking at COREY,) AFTER THE PASTOR SAYS THEY CAN EAT THE BREAD…  (Startled, COREY removes the bread from his pocket and eats it.)  After the pastor says they can eat the bread, the juice is served.

(MELISSA and COREY are so busy talking again, that MELISSA doesn't notice ALEX standing next to her with the juice.  ALEX finally has to nudge her.  MELISSA takes a very long time trying to pick just the right cup.  She finally picks one, takes the tray, and pass it to COREY.  MELISSA holds her cup in the air looking at the light through the cup.

COREY nearly spills the tray trying to balance it while finding the cup he wants.  COREY then holds the tray for HANNAH but keeps moving it as she tries to take a cup.  COREY sees the dirty looks from HANNAH and COREY then finally holds the tray still for her to take a cup.  COREY and MELISSA start comparing notes on their juice.

HANNAH pass the tray to ALEX then sits quietly holding her cup.)

NARRATOR:  So kids, who did the juice correctly?  (Wait for responses.)

(Standing behind MELISSA.)  Are we suppose to be talking to our friends during Communion?  (No.)  Is there any difference between the cups?  (No.)  No, just take one.

(Standing behind COREY.)  Grownups can usually handle holding the tray and taking a cup.  It is  a good idea to let an adult hold the tray for you and pass it on.

(Standing behind HANNAH.)  We are suppose to be quiet and be ready to pick a cup of juice when it comes to us.  Just take one, they are all the same.  We hold the cup in our hand and wait for the pastor to say that we drink it.

The pastor then says they can drink the juice (MELISSA and HANNAH drink the juice – MELISSA tosses her cup over her shoulder; HANNAH holds her cup)…  (Looking at COREY,) THE PASTOR THEN SAYS THEY CAN DRINK THE JUICE…  (Startled, COREY holds the cup with his lips and throws his head back to drink the juice.  MELISSA laugh then notices that no one else is laughing.  She faces forward and looks serious.  COREY cracks the cup in his mouth then takes it out.  HANNAH rolls her eyes.)

(Standing behind MELISSA.)  What are we suppose to do when we are through drinking the juice?  (Hold on to it.)

(Standing behind COREY.  Pauses.  Looks down at COREY.  Shakes his head and rolls eyes.)  Don't even think about it.

(Standing behind HANNAH.)  We are suppose to hold our cup until everyone is finished.  We then pass the cups to the center aisle where the usher will pick it up.  (MELISSA crawls on the floor to retrieve her cup and passes it to COREY.  COREY puts is crushed cup in MELISSA's and passes it to HANNAH.  HANNAH stacks her cup and passes them to ALEX.)

NARRATOR:  Communion is suppose to be a celebration.  We are suppose to be joyful as we reflect on the awesome gift of God's grace.  But it is also a serious time as we reflect on Jesus' sacrifice.  That means we can be happy – we can be very happy – but we don't play around.  If we'll all do that, Communion will be more enjoyable and meaningful for you and those around you.

Let's give a hand to Melissa, Corey, and Hannah for all their help.

Filled with the Holy Spirit

Scripture Reference:  Acts 3-4

A lesson about the power of the Holy Spirit.

Cast:

            PROPHET – a Bible prophet

            NARRATOR

Props:

A representation of the Holy Spirit (e.g., flaming tongue, dove, cloud) lowered on a string.

Notes:

The opening monolog can be shortened or lengthened as necessary.  The point is that without the Holy Spirit he is just a clanging cymbal.

The message of the closing paragraph can be modified to have different content according to your needs.

(The PROPHET enters.)

PROPHET:  (in a stammering, halting manner) G-g-g-g-ood m-m-mor…, um, G-g-g-ood m‑morning, b-b-b-oys and g-g-girls.  I, uh, I, uh, I, uh, I would like to – well, I don't know if I would like to as much as I need to – well, need may be too strong…  A‑a‑anyway, God – I-I-I mean the Lord – w-well, the Lord God – He, uh, He, uh, H‑h‑he w-w-wants you to know – well, you probably already know – well, you may not actually know, but you've told – well, maybe you haven't been told, but someone has been told th-that God – I-I-I mean the Lord – w-well, the Lord God – He, uh, He, uh, H‑h‑he really – and when I say really, I mean really, really – He really…

(the PROPHET pauses and takes a deep breath)

PROPHET:  Dear God, please send Your spirit and give me the words to speak?

(the Holy Spirit starts to lower then touches the PROPHET)

PROPHET:  (in a confident, firm manner)  The Lord God wants you to know that you must change your hearts and lives!  Turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.  God has raised up his servant Jesus and sent him to you first to bless you by turning each of you away from doing evil.  Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.

NARRATOR:  "After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken.  And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly."  [Acts 4:31 (NIV)]

I'm My Mama's Reflection

Scripture Reference: Acts 5:1-11

A lesson about judgment.

Cast:
TURQ – an energetic little monster from the hills
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight
ABIGAIL – one of the kids in class

Props:
Rubber chicken

(TURQ enters.)

TURQ: Hoo wee! Howdy-do, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Hi, Turq. What's up?

TURQ: Not much, I jes… (pauses then zeroes in on one of the students) Is that Abigail?

MISS REBECCA: (confused) Yes.

TURQ: Well, I ain't seen Abigail in a month o' Sundays. Come up here, Abigail, I have somethin' fer ya.

(Abigail approaches the front of the puppet stage.)

ABIGAIL: Hi, Turq. What do you want?

TURQ: No, come closer.

ABIGAIL: (gets closer) OK.

TURQ: That ain't close 'nuff. Come over here to the side.

ABIGAIL: (goes to the side of the puppet stage) How's this?

TURQ: That's perfect. (Disappears from puppet stage. Suddenly, he hits ABIGAIL over the head with a rubber chicken. Stays back stage.)

MISS REBECCA: Abigail! Are you OK?

ABIGAIL: I'm fine.

MISS REBECCA: I'm so sorry. Why don't you have a seat.

(ABIGAIL sits.)

MISS REBECCA: Turq?

TURQ: (enters) Is you all still here?

MISS REBECCA: Yes. I can't believe you did that.

TURQ: Did what?

MISS REBECCA: Hit Abigail with a rubber chicken.

TURQ: What is you talkin' about. I did no such thang.

MISS REBECCA: Yes, you did.

TURQ: No, I didn't.

MISS REBECCA: You did.

TURQ: I didn't.

MISS REBECCA: Did.

TURQ: Didn't times infinity.

MISS REBECCA: (taking a different tack) Well, whoever did it must have a terrible mother.

TURQ: I telled ya I didn't do it. And stop talkin' 'bout my mama.

MISS REBECCA: I'm just saying that whoever did such a terrible thing must have a terrible mother.

TURQ: Stop bad-mouthin' my mama. And I didn't do it.

MISS REBECCA: Whoever did such a pusillanimous and vindictive act must have a pusillanimous and vindictive mother.

TURQ: I don't know what those words mean, but take 'em back. Nobody sasses my mama.

MISS REBECCA: Are you saying you hit Abigail with a rubber chicken.

TURQ: I tryin' not to.

MISS REBECCA: Turq!

TURQ: Fine! I did. I did. Ar' you happy now?

MISS REBECCA: I'm glad you decided to be honest.

TURQ: And do you take back what you said about my mama?!?

MISS REBECCA: Your mother is a fine woman, Turq.

TURQ: Thank ye.

MISS REBECCA: But, it does reflect badly on her when you do bad things.

TURQ: But it ain't her fault.

MISS REBECCA: No, it's not, but people will judge your mother based on your actions.

TURQ: Well, that ain't far.

MISS REBECCA: Maybe not, but that's the way it is. If someone has never met your mother, they only know her through you.

TURQ: Well turn me over and paint me blue.

MISS REBECCA: And as a Christian, your actions reflect on God, too.

TURQ: Tarnation! That ain't far neither.

MISS REBECCA: If someone doesn't know, they only know Him through you.

TURQ: Spit fire and save the matches. Hittin' someone with a rubber chicken makes my mama and God both look bad.

MISS REBECCA: That's right.

TURQ: 'Cause a cream pie to the face would be much funnier.

MISS REBECCA: That's not really what I meant…

TURQ: That would reflect much better on my mama…

MISS REBECCA: I need to clarify…

TURQ: and God.

MISS REBECCA: Not exactly…

TURQ: See y'all later. Bye!

MISS REBECCA: (giving up) Bye, Turq.

I'd Cotton to Some Candy

Scripture Reference:  Daniel 3

A lesson that God is always God.

Cast:

TURQ – an energetic little monster from the hills

MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:

            None

(MR. MIKE is on stage when TURQ enters.)

TURQ:  Hoo wee!  Howdy-do, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE:  Hi, Turq.  What's up?

TURQ:  O, not too much.  I got me a new toothbrush, I decided I ain't gonna believe in God, and I'm a-thinkin' about gittin' a haircut.

MR. MIKE:  What was that?

TURQ:  I was studyin' as to whether to get a haircut.  Well, actually, I'd probly get more than one o' my hairs cut, but…

MR. MIKE:  No, no, no.  The one before that.  The one about God.

TURQ:  O!  I decided that I ain't gonna believe in God no more.

MR. MIKE:  Is it because you prayed it would rain soda and it didn’t?

TURQ:  No, I reckon that was a silly, childish prayer.  I had a more grown-up prayer that didn't come true.

MR. MIKE:  And what prayer was that?

TURQ:  That it'd snow cotton candy.

MR. MIKE:  How is that more mature than raining soda?

TURQ:  Is you a few clowns short of a circus, Mr. Mike?  Everyone knows cotton candy is one of the five major food groups and sody is for kiddies.

MR. MIKE:  Everyone knows that?

TURQ:  I reckon so.  That's what my momma learned me.

MR. MIKE:  Well, I'm not going to argue with anyone's momma.

TURQ:  Darn tootin'.  So I prayed fer it to snow cotton candy, there ain't no cotton candy snow, so I don't believe in God no more.

MR. MIKE:  This reminds me of today's Bible story.

TURQ:  There's a Bible story about cotton candy?

MR. MIKE:  No.  Today's story is about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

TURQ:  Shaq, Mack, and a belly button?

MR. MIKE:  No, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  They wouldn't worship a statue of the king, so the king ordered them to be thrown into a fiery furnace.

TURQ:  Well, that'd be hotter'n a pair of sweat pants full of barbecue.  But I bet the Lord saved them.

MR. MIKE:  Since this is a spoiler free skit, you'll have to wait and see.   But they did tell the king that even if God didn't save them, He's still God and they'll worship only Him.

TURQ:  Nuh-uh.

MR. MIKE:  Uh-huh.

TURQ:  No way.

MR. MIKE:  Way.

TURQ:  Even if they didn’t get what they wanted, they wouldn't give up on God.

MR. MIKE:  That's right.

TURQ:  Even if they got burnt up like a marshmallow that gets all squishy on the stick and plops into the campfire?

MR. MIKE:  Even then.

TURQ:  Even if they are like that burnt up little French fry that gets put in your tator tots at Sonic?

MR. MIKE:  I think so.

TURQ:  Well, hoo-wee!  Then I shouldn't give up on God, should I?

MR. MIKE:  No, God will always be faithful.

TURQ:  And I shouldn't give up on God makin' it snow cotton candy.

MR. MIKE:  I didn't say that.

TURQ:  Then I reckon the problem is that I just ain't been per-sis-tent enuff.

MR. MIKE:  That's not really what I meant when…

TURQ:  I think I'm gonna head down to the fishin' hole and do me some prayin' about cotton candy snow.

MR. MIKE:  Before you go, I need to clarify…

TURQ:  See y'all later.  Bye!

MR. MIKE:  (giving up) Bye, Turq.

He's a Prophet, Dude

Scripture Reference:  OT Prophets

A skit about Biblical prophecy.

Cast:

            PROPHET – an OT prophet

            DUDE – a lizard

Props:

none

(PROPHET enters.)

PROPHET:  Good morning.  I am an Old Testament prophet.  I understand that you will be studying Old Testament prophets, (DUDE enters) so I thought I'd make myself available to see if you have…

DUDE:  (nudges PROPHET) Hey!

PROPHET:  …to see if you have any…

DUDE:  (nudges PROPHET) Hey, prophet man!

PROPHET:  (quickly) …see if you have any questions.  (turning to DUDE, annoyed) Yes?

DUDE:  I have a question.

PROPHET:  Very good.  What is it young…  Um.  Uh.

DUDE:  Dude.  My name is Dude.

PROPHET:  What is it, Dude?

DUDE:  So you're a profit?

PROPHET:  Yes, I am.

DUDE:  Great!  I'm trying to buy a new Nintendo DS and could use some profit.

PROPHET:  Not P-R-O-F-I-T profit.  P-R-O-P-H-E-T prophet.  A person who speaks for God.

DUDE:  So you can't help me make money?

PROPHET:  I'm afraid not, Dude.  Most prophets lead a humble life.  At one point, the prophet Elijah was eating food brought to him by ravens.

DUDE:  Do you think you could get one of those ravens to bring me a Nintendo DS?

PROPHET:  No.

DUDE:  A Chase McCain video game?

PROPHET:  No.

DUDE:  Then can you tell me when I'll have enough money to buy a Nintendo DS?

PROPHET:  I'm not a fortune teller.

DUDE:  But I thought prophets could see the future.

PROPHET:  Prophets speak for God.  Sometimes God gives us a glimpse at the future to warn people to change their ways or to give hope to people feeling hopeless.

DUDE:  It would make me feel a lot less hopeless if I knew when I'd have enough money to get my Nintendo DS.

PROPHET:  Sorry, that's not the way God works, Dude.

DUDE:  Hmmm.  Well, do you have any gold?

PROPHET:  What?

DUDE:  Or silver or diamonds or rubies?

PROPHET:  What are you talking about now?

DUDE:  I just thought maybe you were a miner prophet and had some gold or gems or something.

PROPHET:  Not M-I-N-E-R miner.  M-I-N-O-R minor.  It refers to prophets who wrote shorter books and has nothing to do with mining.

DUDE:  Bummer.  So can you do anything to help me get a Nintendo DS?

PROPHET:  I can tell you that if you continue to make a Nintendo DS your idol, you will come to ruin.

DUDE:  Not really what I was looking for.

PROPHET:  That's all I got, Dude.

DUDE:  Oh, well.  Dude abides.  (exits)

PROPHET:  Thank you for your time this morning, children.  And remember you are loved with an everlasting love and underneath are the everlasting arms!  (exits)

This Looks Like a Job for Job

Scripture Reference: Job 1:13-22

A skit that demonstrates that we should worship in times of trouble.

Cast:
TURQ – an energetic little monster from the hills
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
Bible for MISS REBECCA opened to the book of Job.

(During the third song (God You're Good to Me), TURQ enters but does not sing. He looks sad and dejected.)

MISS REBECCA: What are you doing, Turq? Don’t tell me you're still embarrassed by singing?

TURQ: No.

MISS REBECCA: You don’t still think it’s girly or undignified?

TURQ: No.

MISS REBECCA: Then what is it?

TURQ: Nuttin'.

MISS REBECCA: It’s not nothing. You look like someone popped your balloon.

TURQ: I’ve just had a bad week. I don’t want to go into detail.

MISS REBECCA: Well, if you want to talk…

TURQ: It’s just that I had to take my yearly bath this week…

MISS REBECCA: That doesn’t sound so bad.

TURQ: Well, I is youngest of 13 young'uns. That means I get in the warsh tub after everyone else. By the time I get there, it's like bathin' in murky pond water.

MISS REBECCA: I’m glad you don’t want to go into detail.

TURQ: Wut? Oh, sorry. Anyways, I just ain't up to worshipin'. Worship is all about feelin's, and I'm feelin' lower'n a bowlegged caterpillar.

MISS REBECCA: Worship is a lot more than just about your feelings. It isn’t just supposed to engage your heart, it's supposed to engage your mind, body, and spirit. In the book of John, Jesus says that “true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth.”

TURQ: Yeah, but if'n you had a bad day…

MISS REBECCA: Ever heard of Jōb? [NB: ō indicates to use a long O, as in "robe".]

TURQ: I don’t reckon I have.

MISS REBECCA: You know, Jōb – in the Bible. J-O-B, Jōb.

TURQ: I thought it was pro-nounced job.

MISS REBECCA: No, it’s Jōb.

TURQ: Did he have a brother named Bōb?

MISS REBECCA: What?!?

TURQ: Bōb. B-O-B.

MISS REBECCA: That would be Bob.

TURQ: And did he eat corn on the cōb?

MISS REBECCA: No.

TURQ: What about him?

MISS REBECCA: What about who?

TURQ: Job

MISS REBECCA: That’s Jōb, and he had a REALLY bad day. One day a messenger came to him and told him that his enemy had stolen all his oxen & donkeys and killed all his servants working in the fields.

TURQ: I bet that made him sōb.

MISS REBECCA: That’s sob. Then another messenger came to tell him that fire had fallen from the sky and killed all the sheep and shepherds.

TURQ: That’s bad, but…

MISS REBECCA: Then another messenger came to tell him that raiders had carried off his camels and killed his servants.

TURQ: That’s really bad, but…

MISS REBECCA: Then another messenger…

TURQ: Not another messenger!

MISS REBECCA: Yep, another messenger. This one came to tell him that while his sons and daughters were all together, a huge wind came up, blew down the house, and killed them all.

TURQ: Hoo wee! That's stanks worse than an ole polecat!

MISS REBECCA: That's probably one of the worst days anyone’s ever had.

TURQ: And you’re a-tellin' me that Jōb worshiped God after all that?!?

MISS REBECCA: Yes. Jōb 1:20-21 says: Then he fell to the ground in worship and said, "The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

TURQ: How could he do that? He just had his family wiped out?

MISS REBECCA: When we remember that God is our Redeemer and that He truly loves us, we can rest in the knowledge that He is in control even when we don’t understand the reasons for what is happening.

TURQ: But how can I do that?

MISS REBECCA: You have to prepare. You can’t wait until things get hard to trust God. You have to practice that when things are good. Spend time in His Word, talk with Him in prayer, stand in His presence in worship. You have to KNOW you can trust Him BEFORE the bad times. In the bad times, you will want to doubt, it’s only natural. But if you have a foundation of trust already, you can stand on that foundation when the trust is hard.

TURQ: So worship is like getting' into shape. You cain’t wait til you is in the middle of a football game to start workin' out. You gotta do that before the game, so that you is pre pared.

MISS REBECCA: Exactly. Worship is part of what makes us healthy Christians. And when we are in difficult times in our lives, it reminds us that God is our Rock and our Redeemer.

TURQ: Well, doggies! If Jōb can worship after all of that, I guess I can, too.

MISS REBECCA: That’s our jōb.

TURQ: Now don’t YOU start that!

(The last song plays (10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)) and TURQ participates. After the song…)

TURQ: (exiting) ♫ Bless the Lord, O my soul, I want a sausage roll, put it in the microwave… ♫

Moses in the Bulrushes

Scripture Reference:  Exodus 1:1-2:11

A skit about Moses and God's Provision.

Cast:GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MR. JUSTIN – the teacher who sets her straight

(MR. JUSTIN is on stage alone talking to the kids.)

MR. JUSTIN: Granny Grace is going to be here today. You know she's as old as Moses' toes and twice as corny.

GRANNY: (enters) Good morning, dears.

MR. JUSTIN: Oh! Good morning, Granny. Do you have a story for us today?

GRANNY: Oh, yes. It’s a lovely story about the little baby Moses.

MR. JUSTIN: Did you know Moses?

GRANNY: Oh my, young man, Moses was born about 3400 years ago. How old do you think I am?

MR. JUSTIN: Oh, well… I, um… It was… It was Sophie. Yeah, that's it. It was Sophie who said you're old as Moses' toes.

GRANNY: Sophie! I can’t believe it. Such a nice, quiet young lady being so disrespectful to her elder. (If Sophie or the other kids react, engage them but don't take too long.)
(to Sophie or Justin) Well, 40 lashes with a wet noodle for you.

MR. JUSTIN: Anyway, you were going to tell us a story about baby Moses.

GRANNY: Oh yes, dear. As you remember, Joseph brought his whole family to Egypt during the famine. Well, eventually Joseph died when he was 110. Many years passed, and a Pharaoh who didn't know Joseph reigned over Egypt. He was very worried that there were so many Israelites, so he made them slaves and made them do hard labor. But the king was still afraid, so he ordered the Egyptian midwives to kill all of the baby boys. They didn't do it. They told Pharaoh that the Hebrew women were strong and gave birth before the could get there. God blessed them for not killing the baby boys.

MR. JUSTIN: That was very nice of them.

GRANNY: Oh yes, dear. Very nice. But Pharaoh wasn't done. He ordered every baby boy to be thrown in the river and drowned.

MR. JUSTIN: That Pharaoh was one bad dude.

GRANNY: He was a very bad dude, indeed. Well, about this time little baby Moses was born. He was so adorable and cuddly that his mama hid him. After three months, he was just too noisy and couldn’t be hidden any longer. So his mama took him down to the river and suddenly a bull rushed them.

MR. JUSTIN: What?!? That doesn't sound right.

GRANNY: It's right there in the Bible, dear. It says there was an "ark of bulrushes." You know how a group of lions is called a pride, and a group of geese is a gaggle? Well, apparently a group of rushes from a bull is called an ark.

MR. JUSTIN: I don’t think…

GRANNY: I'm sure little baby Moses must have been terrified. I mean, to suddenly have a big old, mean bull rushing at you like that? I can just picture it: The bull saying, (snort, snort). And little baby Moses saying, "Waa! Waa!" It must have been horrifying.

MR. JUSTIN: Granny!

GRANNY: Yes, dear?

MR. JUSTIN: An ark is not a bunch of rushes by a bull.

GRANNY: It's not?

MR. JUSTIN: No, it's a chest or a basket.

GRANNY: Really? How did they get a bull in a basket?

MR. JUSTIN: There was no bull. The ark was made of bulrushes. Bulrushes are reeds or papyrus. Moses' mom coated it with tar and pitch to make it waterproof.

GRANNY: Well, wasn't that clever.

MR. JUSTIN: Yes, it was. Then Moses' mom sent him down the river, and his life was saved.

GRANNY: Well, that makes for a much nicer story.

MR. JUSTIN: Much nicer.

GRANNY: Well, I'm glad I could help. I'd better be going now. Remember, children, don't tweet just for the sake of tweeting and read your Bibles every day. Bye, dears. (exits)

Jacob Wrestles with God

Scripture Reference: Genesis 32:22-32

A lesson in struggle and blessing.

Cast:MR. JEFF – the larger, stronger storyteller
ABIGAIL – the tenacious albeit smaller student

(While reading the story below, MR. JEFF and ABIGAIL will be arm wrestling to illustrate God and Jacob wrestling.)

During the night Jacob rose and crossed the Jabbok River at the crossing, taking with him his two wives, his two slave girls, and his eleven sons. He sent his family and everything he had across the river. So Jacob was alone, and a man came and wrestled with him until the sun came up. When the man saw he could not defeat Jacob, he struck Jacob's hip and put it out of joint. (MR. JEFF touches ABIGAIL's hip [or shoulder], and her arm drops. But she does not let go!) Then he said to Jacob, "Let me go. The sun is coming up."

But Jacob said, "I will let you go if you will bless me."

The man said to him, "What is your name?"

And he answered, "Jacob."

Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob. Your name will now be Israel, because you have wrestled with God and with people, and you have won."

Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name."

But the man said, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed Jacob there. (ABIGAIL releases MR. JEFF.)

So Jacob named that place Peniel, saying, "I have seen God face to face, but my life was saved." Then the sun rose as he was leaving that place, and Jacob was limping because of his leg. So even today the people of Israel do not eat the muscle that is on the hip joint of animals, because Jacob was touched there.

Great with Humility

Scripture Reference: Genesis 11:1-9

A lesson in humility.

Cast:


DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

DILLY: How y'all doin', Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA: Very well. How are you doing?

DILLY: I'm finer than frog hair.

MISS REBECCA: I hear you won a golf tournament.

DILLY: I'm so happy you brought that up, cher, because one should not brag on oneself. But please feel free to brag on me in my stead.

MISS REBECCA: Are you a good golfer?

DILLY: I'm fair to middlin'. I play to scratch.

MISS REBECCA: Really?

DILLY: No, of course not. I'm a wondrous golfer. I am undoubtedly the best chicken golfer in the country. (pause) The world. (pause) The universe. (pause) Ever. (pause) Forever and ever. But one should not brag on oneself.

MISS REBECCA: Are you really that good?!?

DILLY: Have you herd of Nancy Lopez and Babe Didrikson Zaharias?

MISS REBECCA: Yes, they're a couple of the best women golfers ever.

DILLY: I could beat 'em both with one wing tied behind my back. I won't even bring up those chumps Arnold Palmer or Jack Nicklaus, because one should not brag on oneself.

MISS REBECCA: You know, Dilly, for some who doesn't like to brag, you sure aren't very humble.

DILLY: What in the name of Col. Sanders are you talking about? I'm as humble as a toothless bumble.

MISS REBECCA: When you keep bragging about how great you are at golf, you're showing a lack of humility.

DILLY: I am great with humility.

MISS REBECCA: Dilly! You're even bragging about how humble you are.

DILLY: I'm just too humble to lie.

MISS REBECCA: Do you even listen to yourself?

DILLY: I try, but sometimes my mind wanders.

MISS REBECCA: You keep saying you don't like to brag on yourself, but you keep bragging on yourself about how great you are. And it’s not humble to boast about how humble you are.

DILLY: Well, paint me green and call me a pickle. I see what you mean. I've been prouder than a prize tomato. (getting more agitated) Oh my! My speech for the golf tournament banquet. I must go directly and change it, or I will look as foolish as a man chasing a hat. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)