Good Gifts

Scripture Reference: Matthew 7:7-12

A lesson about good things from God.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
 none

(MISS REBECCA starts on stage.)

D.B.: Good morning, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Hi, D.B. I hear someone is going to have a birthday.

D.B.: Oh, really? Who? Who is going to have a birthday? I love birthdays. Who is it? Who? Who? Who?

MISS REBECCA: You are, silly.

D.B.: Oh, that is right. I am going to have a birthday. I am so excited!

MISS REBECCA: Do you want anything special for your birthday?

D.B.: I was going to ask my dad for a Lego Bionic Bunny video game, but I decided not to.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like fun. Why didn't you ask him?

D.B.: Because I was afraid he'd give me a tarantula instead.

MISS REBECCA: Why would he…

D.B.: I do not like tarantulas.

MISS REBECCA: I don't blame you, but…

D.B.: They are creepy.

MISS REBECCA: That's a matter of opinion.

D.B.: They are big, hairy spiders.

MISS REBECCA: D.B.

D.B.: Ew!

MISS REBECCA: D.B., why would your dad give you a tarantula instead of a video game?

D.B.: I do not know, but he might.

MISS REBECCA: Does your dad love you?

D.B.: (insulted) Of course he loves me.

MISS REBECCA: Then why would he give you something bad when you asked for something good?

D.B.: I had not thought of that.

MISS REBECCA: Loving parents don't give their kids bad things.

D.B.: Then why do they make me eat Brussels sprouts?

MISS REBECCA: That's different. Brussels sprouts are good for you. Are tarantulas good for you?

D.B.: Oh, no. They can bite.

MISS REBECCA: Then your parents won't give you a tarantula.

D.B.: But what if I wanted one?

MISS REBECCA: Do you want one?

D.B.: No.

MISS REBECCA: Then it doesn’t matter. Are you going to ask your dad for the Bionic Bunny game now?

D.B.: Oh, yes. I feel much better about it now.

MISS REBECCA: Good. Happy birthday, D.B.

D.B.: Thanks, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: You're welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

But I Don't Look Good in Lilies

Scripture Reference:  Matthew 6:19-34

A lesson about worry and trusting God.

Cast:
 DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
 MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
 a Bible

(MR. MATT starts on stage.)

DILLY:  (enters) Oh my lands!  Whatever will I do?

MR. MATT:  Hey, Dilly.  What's wrong?

DILLY:  Hi, Mr. Matt.  I'm gong to a party at Flora's.

MR. MATT:  That sounds like a good thing.

DILLY:  Oh, it is.  All the right hens will be there.  No riffraff or hoi polloi.  It'll be better than sweet tea on a summer day in Texas.

MR. MATT:  So what's the problem?

DILLY:  I don't know what to wear.  I want to have just the right look.  I don't want to look to highfalutin, but I also don't want to look like I'm wearing something that came off the scarecrow.

MR. MATT:  Can I help?

DILLY:  (laughs)

MR. MATT:  What's so funny?

DILLY:  Cause you're a man.  You don't know haute couture from a hot dog.

MR. MATT:  Dilly!  I'm offended.

DILLY:  But do you deny it?

MR. MATT:  No, but I'm still offended.  What about Mr. Jeff?

DILLY:  You must be pulling my leg.  He's the one who picked out those tacky bowling shirts you wear.

MR. MATT:  I like these shirts.

DILLY:  And my point is proven.  (returns to panic mode) Oh, whatever will I do?  All is lost, lost, lost!  I'll never find the right outfit.  I'll be an outcast, a social pariah, all for want of the right outfit.  I think it would take a miracle from God right now.

MR. MATT:  (having an idea) How about a Bible verse?

DILLY:  What in the name of Gucci are you talking about?

MR. MATT:  Today's Bible verse Matthew 6 says, "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"

DILLY:  Well, that makes about as much sense as two bald men fighting over a comb.

MR. MATT:  How so?

DILLY:  I'm just not going to wear grass.  Do I look like some sort of hoochie-coochie hula girl?

MR. MATT:  No, but that's not…

DILLY:  And lilies?!?  Flower prints are so last season, and you want me to wear actual flowers?

MR. MATT:  Dilly!  That's not what it means.  Jesus was saying not to worry about what you are going to wear or eat or drink, because God will take care of you.  In other words, stop worrying.

DILLY:  (sarcastically)  Stop worrying.  Just like that.  You make sound as easy as selling umbrellas in a rainstorm.

MR. MATT:  It's not necessarily easy, but do you trust God?

DILLY:  Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?

MR. MATT:  And the more you trust God, the less you'll worry, because you'll know God is in charge.

DILLY:  Don't that just take the rag off the bush.  I reckon I do fret a bit much.  I also reckon it would show a decided lack of trust in God if I get my beak all bent out of shape and scurry out of here.

MR. MATT:  I reckon.

DILLY:  Then I'll just say bye, y’all!  (exits)

MR. MATT:  Bye, Dilly.

A Pie for a Pie

Scripture Reference: Matthew 5:38-48


A lesson about loving your enemies.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MR. MATT starts on stage.)

OZZIE: (enters & makes sound like he is going to hock up a big one) Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk…

MR. MATT: Ozzie?

OZZIE: Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk…

MR. MATT: (sternly) Ozzie!

OZZIE: (louder) Kkkkkkkkk…

MR. MATT: What are you doing?

OZZIE: Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk…

MR. MATT: Cut it out!

OZZIE: (softly) Kkkk.

MR. MATT: Stop.

OZZIE: K

MR. MATT: Ah!

OZZIE: Fine! I'll stop.

MR. MATT: What were you doing?

OZZIE: Trying to spit.

MR. MATT: Why are you trying to spit?

OZZIE: Because I'm so mad.

MR. MATT: If you're mad enough to spit, you're not supposed to actually spit.

OZZIE: (looking behind the stage) Now you tell me. (looking back up) I have already spit so much that I've gone dry.

MR. MATT: Who made you so mad?

OZZIE: Alfonso Pasquale.

MR. MATT: The school bully.

OZZIE: Yep.

MR. MATT: Is he picking on you again?

OZZIE: Yep.

MR. MATT: What did he do that made you so mad?

OZZIE: He hit me with a pie.

MR. MATT: A pie?

OZZIE: A cream pie right in the puss.

MR. MATT: That's terrible.

OZZIE: Then he kicked me with his big old boot.

MR. MATT: His boot?

OZZIE: His boot right in my bootie.

MR. MATT: What did you do?

OZZIE: Nothing yet, but I plan on getting even. As soon as I can buy a pie and a big pair of boots, I'll get him back.

MR. MATT: I don't think that's a good choice.

OZZIE: You have heard that it was said, "A pie for a pie and a boot for a boot."

MR. MATT: I don't think that's quite right. Regardless, you need to be nice.

OZZIE: But I hate that despicable bully.

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

OZZIE: What?!?

MR. MATT: Is that what the Bible says you're supposed to do?

OZZIE: Yes. Well, probably. OK, maybe. No.

MR. MATT: Right. Jesus said, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

OZZIE: But he's such a meanie.

MR. MATT: I understand. It's easy to love nice people, but Jesus calls us to do something harder: Love people who are mean to us.

OZZIE: But I really want to throw a pie in his face.

MR. MATT: Then you'd be no different that the bully. If someone who knows you're a Christian sees you do that, what are they going to think about Christians?

OZZIE: Yeah, but I have some really swell boots I want to buy. They're huge and would really…

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

OZZIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I'll forget about getting even and start praying for Alfonso Pasquale.

MR. MATT: That's much better.

OZZIE: And I'll start by praying he gets hit by a pie and kicked with a boot. (exits quickly)

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

Salt of the Earth

Scripture Reference: Matthew 5:13-16

A lesson on being a salty Christian.

Cast:

D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny

MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:

Bible

(MR. MIKE starts on stage.)

MR. MIKE: This morning we are going to start a five-week study of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7. This morning we are going to learn about…

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Mike. Whatcha doin'?

MR. MIKE: Hi, D.B. I was just about to read our verse for today.

D.B.: Oh, goody. I love to hear Bible verses. What is it?

MR. MIKE: Matthew 5:13 says, " You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot."

D.B.: I like that verse.

MR. MIKE: It's a good verse. Do you know what it means?

D.B.: Yes, I do, and I even have the perfect Bible story to go with it.

MR. MIKE: You do?

D.B.: Oh, yes. I have been reading the book of Genesis.

MR. MIKE: That's great, D.B. What story is it? Noah? Abraham?

D.B.: Sodom & Gomorrah.

MR. MIKE: That doesn't sound like…

D.B.: Trust me. There is a connection.

MR. MIKE: (warily) OK. Go ahead.

D.B.: God destroyed Sodom & Gomorrah, because they were so evil. But God spared Lot and his family. God warned them not to look back, but Lot's wife did look back and…

TOGETHER: …turned into a pillar of salt.

D.B.: Yeah.

MR. MIKE: That’s not the kind of salt…

D.B.: Do you think Lot kept his wife in a salt shaker on the mantle?

MR. MIKE: I don't know, but that's not…

D.B.: That is very possible. My mom was driving one time, and she looked back and turned into a telephone pole.

MR. MIKE: No, I mean the verse from Matthew doesn’t mean we have to turn into salt.

D.B.: Well, that is a good thing. I would be in a real PINCH if were SALT. Get it? Pinch. Salt. It is a little joke.

MR. MIKE: Jokes that little should still be in the nursery.

D.B.: I just got told by Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: What Jesus meant was that just like salty food makes us thirsty for water, we are to be salty to make others thirsty for Living Water, which is Jesus. Do you understand?

D.B.: Oh, I get it now. And I am not even in-SALT-ed that you thought I might not get it. Did you hear what I did? In-SALT-ed. I made another funny.

MR. MIKE: You better stop, or I will a-SALT you.

D.B.: MR. MIKE made a funny, too. Good one, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Thank you, D.B.

D.B.: You are welcome, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Bye, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Mike. (exits)

Trinity Trip Up

Scripture Reference: Matthew 3:13-17, Luke 3:21-22


A lesson on the Trinity.

Cast:
GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MR. MIKE starts on stage.)

GRANNY: Good morning, dears.

MR. MIKE: Good morning, Granny.

GRANNY: What are you folks doing this morning?

MR. MIKE: Well, I was just about to tell the kids what we're going to be studying today.

GRANNY: It would mean the world to me if you'd let me do that – if it's no imposition.

MR. MIKE: If it means that much to you, please go ahead.

GRANNY: Thank you, dearie. (turns to kids, stares for a moment with mouth open as if about to speak, then turns to MR. MIKE) What are we studying today?

MR. MIKE: If you don't know, why'd you ask to tell them?

GRANNY: Because it is such a delight imparting knowledge to these bright young minds.

MR. MIKE: I understand.

GRANNY: Or at least most of them.

MR. MIKE: Granny!

GRANNY: I'm just saying…

MR. MIKE: Well, we are going to be studying the Trinity today.

GRANNY: Boys and girls. Boys and girls. Please pay attention. I have something very important to tell you. Today we will be studying the Trinity.

MR. MIKE: Very nice.

GRANNY: The Trinity is a 710-mile long river located in northeast Texas.

MR. MIKE: Wait…

GRANNY: It was discovered by the French explorer La Salle in 1687 and named "the Most Holy Trinity" in 1690 by Alonso De León.

MR. MIKE: That's not the right…

GRANNY: The Trinity has five branches: the West Fork, the Clear Fork, the North Wedge, the Elm Fork, and the East Fork.

MR. MIKE: I didn't mean the river…

GRANNY: It had become so polluted by the 70's that it was the subject of many jokes, including a song by the Folkel Minority.

MR. MIKE: Granny!

GRANNY: ♫♪ Roll mighty river/Roll on Trinity/Through the Texas blacklands/It oozes toward the sea./Roll on Muddy Buddy/Captain, ring your bell/We'll be to the Gulf by tomorrow night/If we can stand the smell. ♪♫

MR. MIKE: Granny!!

GRANNY: (unphased) Yes, dear?

MR. MIKE: We're not studying the Trinity River. We are studying the doctrine of the Trinity.

GRANNY: Well, that's completely different. The Trinity River is quite important but not compared studying the nature of God.

MR. MIKE: I can't argue with that.

GRANNY: Well, then I guess my work here is done.

MR. MIKE: Thank you for visiting with us today, Granny.

GRANNY: My pleasure. And remember, children: Don't cut your own bangs and read your Bible every day. Bye, dears. (exits):

Maggie Came from the East

Scripture Reference: Matthew 2:1-12


A skit introducing the Wise Men.

Cast:
GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

(MISS REBECCA is on stage when GRANNY enters.)

GRANNY: Good morning, dears.

MISS REBECCA: Good morning, Granny. Do you have a story for us today?

GRANNY: Of course, young lady. Granny always has a story.

MISS REBECCA: What story do you have for us today?

GRANNY: Well, with Christmas coming up, I thought I’d tell you the story of the Wise Men Matthew 2.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a great idea.

GRANNY: Splendid! After Jesus was born, Wise Men came from the East following a star. Being astronomers and astrologers, they knew the star was a sign that a great king had been born. They headed west toward Judah. Since they were looking for a king, they went to the palace of King Herod. Imagine his surprise to hear there was a baby king when he and his wife had no baby. The scholars told them to look for the Christ child in Bethlehem. Herod told the Wise Men to return with the location of the child, so he could worship Him, too. Really, though, he was afraid of losing power, so he wanted to kill the baby king. They found the baby, and they gave him precious gifts and worshipped him. Being warned in a dream about Herod, they went home by a different route. When Herod found out, he was not a happy camper.

MISS REBECCA: That's all very interesting, Granny.

GRANNY: But that's not the most interesting part.

MISS REBECCA: Really?

GRANNY: Oh my lands, no. It seems that the Wise Men were all named Maggie.

MISS REBECCA: (dubious) Maggie?

GRANNY: Yes, dear. I know it’s a girl’s name today, but it must have been a man’s name back then.

MISS REBECCA: Granny...

GRANNY: In fact, it must have been a very popular man’s name, because they were ALL named Maggie.

MISS REBECCA: I don't think...

GRANNY: It must have been very confusing for them. Whose camel is this? It’s Maggie’s. It’s not my camel. No, I meant Maggie. Who has my myrrh? Maggie has it. Not me, check with Maggie. What is myrrh anyway. I don’t know, ask Maggie.

MISS REBECCA: Granny Grace!

GRANNY: Yes, dear?

MISS REBECCA: M-A-G-I is pronounced Magi not Maggie.

GRANNY: Are you quite sure, dearie?

MISS REBECCA: Yes, it’s pronounced Magi. It’s the plural of Magus.

GRANNY: Well, that's completely different. It's still a lovely story, no matter what their names were.

MISS REBECCA: Yes, it is.

GRANNY: And we should be like those wise men. We should bring our finest gifts to Jesus and worship Him.

MISS REBECCA: You are very right. Thank you for sharing the story of the Wise Men with us today, Granny.


GRANNY: My pleasure. And remember, children: wait at least 30 minutes after eating before you swim and read your Bible every day. Bye, dears. (exits)

The Big Hats

Scripture Reference: Matthew 1:1-17

A skit introducing Jesus' genealogy.

Cast:
GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

(MR. MIKE is on stage when GRANNY enters.)

GRANNY: Good morning, dears.

MR. MIKE: Good morning, Granny. Do you have a story for us today?

GRANNY: Of course, young man. Granny always has a story.

MR. MIKE: What story do you have for us today?

GRANNY: Well, with Christmas coming up, I thought we'd talk about Jesus' genealogy in Matthew 1.

MR. MIKE: That sounds like a great idea.

GRANNY: Splendid! Jesus' ancestors are a colorful bunch of characters: kings & queens, shepherds & farmers, prophets & even a giant killer. But don't think it's all a group of goodie two-shoes. Oh my lands, no. There were some real miscreants and ne'er-do-wells. Many of the kings were very naughty. Rehoboam, Abijah, Jeehoram, Ahaz, Manassah, Amon, and Jeconiah were all disobedient boys.

MR. MIKE: That's all very interesting, Granny.

GRANNY: But that's not the most interesting part.

MR. MIKE: Really?

GRANNY: Oh my lands, yes. It seems that all of Jesus' ancestors wore big hats.

MR. MIKE: (dubious) Big hats?

GRANNY: Yes, dear. In fact, that's what my old Sunday school teacher used to call this part of the book of Matthew: the big hats. I'd imagine Ruth wearing a big broad-rimmed hat with an enormous jaunty feather in it. I'm sure Boaz thought it was quite fetching.

MR. MIKE: Granny...

GRANNY: And David in a 10-gallon cowboy hat facing down the giant Goliath in a showdown.

MR. MIKE: I don't think...

GRANNY: And Abraham wearing a large festive sombrero to keep the sun out of his eyes while traveling in the desert.

MR. MIKE: Granny Grace!

GRANNY: Yes, dear?

MR. MIKE: It's not "big hat;" it's "begat."

GRANNY: Are you quite sure, dearie?

MR. MIKE: I'm not sure of a lot of things, but I'm sure about this. "To beget" means to create or to father. The begats is a list of who is the father of whom.

GRANNY: Well, that's completely different. It's still a lovely story, even without the hats.

MR. MIKE: Yes, it is.

GRANNY: And His ancestors show that it was not His pedigree that made Him special. His ancestors include liars and murderers and sinners of all sorts. But Jesus came for all of us, and we too are liars and murderers and sinners of all sorts.

MR. MIKE: Which shows just how much he loves us.

GRANNY: Well put, young man.

MR. MIKE: Thank you for sharing the story of Jesus' ancestors with us today, Granny.

GRANNY: My pleasure. And remember, children: Eat your vegetables and read your Bible every day. Bye, dears. (exits)

You Fool!

Scripture Reference: Exodus 20:13, Matthew 5:21-22

A lesson about the commandment not to kill.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

(MR. MIKE starts on stage.)

DILLY: (enters yelling to someone offstage) You foolish, foolish rooster! I cain't believe you carry on so! Good bye, sir!

MR. MIKE: Dilly! Who are you talking to like that?

DILLY: That fool of a little bantam rooster. He's about as sharp as a sack of wet mice, bless his heart.

MR. MIKE: That's not very nice.

DILLY: I'm sure his mamma loves him, but I'm just saying... Anyway, I didn't come here today to talk about that scoundrel. I understand you are teaching these young chicks about the 10 Commandments. Being the righteous and virtuous chicken I am, I thought I would offer my assistance.

MR. MIKE: I think we have it under control. Today we are talking about "You shall not murder."

DILLY: Well, I'm not sure I'd have much to offer on that anyway – having, of course, never murdered anyone. I don't even like stepping on ants. I do declare that I am quite innocent of this one.

MR. MIKE: Actually, Jesus said anyone who is angry with his (or her) brother is subject to judgement, and anyone who says "You fool!" will be answerable to God.

DILLY: You're joshing me.

MR. MIKE: Cross my heart. Jesus says you are just as guilty before God as a murderer if you call someone a fool.

DILLY: That don't rightly seem fair. Killing someone is much worse.

MR. MIKE: In one sense, that's true. No one is going to prison for name calling. But God cannot tolerate any sin, whether it's murder or calling someone a fool. All sin makes you guilty.

DILLY: Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud. I've never heard such a thing.

MR. MIKE: The Pharisees thought they were more righteous, because they kept the commandments. Do you know anyone like that, Dilly?

DILLY: (whisper) You mean Flora?

MR. MIKE: (whisper) No! (normal voice) Jesus was teaching them – and you – that no one is righteous because of the Law. We are only counted as righteous by having faith in God.

DILLY: Don't that just sauté my gizzard. And there are so many that I've call a fool. I must go at once and make amends. Who to go to first? (running back & forth) That little bantam rooster... No, the cow... No, the pig... No, Mr. Mike... No, Flora... (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

A Heap O' Burning Coals

Scripture Reference: Proverbs 25:21-22, Romans 12:9-21, Matthew 5:43-48

A puppet skit showing we should return kindness for unkindness.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
DUDE – a bully lizard

Props:
candy
glass of water

(Opens with D.B. on stage.)

D.B.: (imitating Elvis) It's just a heap o', a heap o' burning coals.

DUDE: What is that terrible sound? Is there some poor animal that's been injured? Oh, it's D.B. singing. What are you doing, furball?

D.B.: I am practicing my memory verse, Dude. Proverbs 25:21-22: If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.

DUDE: That is the second stupidest thing I've ever seen.

D.B.: What is the stupidest?

DUDE: You. (laughs hysterically)

D.B.: That was not very nice.

DUDE: Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, you know why a rabbit’s nose is always shiny?

D.B.: Why?

DUDE: Because its powder puff is on the wrong end! (laughs) Get it, furball? Your tail looks like a powder puff, so you can't powder your nose.

D.B.: I get it.

DUDE: Of course with you (looks D.B. up and down) it's hard to tell one end from the other. (laughs) Get it, furball? It's because you're so ugly that your face looks like your backside.

D.B.: Would you like a piece of candy, Dude?

DUDE: (confused) Sure, thanks. Hey, did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory?

D.B.: No.

DUDE: All he did was stand around making faces. (laughs) Get it, furball? Watch faces. Oh, I see you're making faces, too. No, wait, that is your regular face. (laughs)

D.B.: Would you like a glass of water?

DUDE: (more confused) Okay, I guess so. Do you know what you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower?

D.B.: What?

DUDE: A hare dryer. (laughs) Get it, furball? Like a rabbit is a hare.

D.B.: That is clever.

DUDE: Okay, what gives? This is my best material, and you ain't even gettin' mad. Are you having a bad hare day? (laughs) Get it, furball?

D.B.: I get it. Go on.

DUDE: Hmmm. What do you call a rabbit that sits on someone's forehead? Unsightly facial hare! (laughs) Get it, furball? Cause rabbits are so ugly, no one would want one on his face.

D.B.: I do not imagine that they would.

DUDE: Why you bein' so nice? It's no fun if you don't get hopping mad. (laughs) Get it, furball? HOPPING mad.

D.B.: Would you like to play my new PlayStation, Dude?

DUDE: (screams and leaves quickly)

D.B.: (looks after Dude then looks at memory verse) Wow! It worked. I offered him food and water, and it was like heaping burning coals on his head. Hey, and the LORD even rewarded me – Dude left. (snickers)
(exits imitating Elvis) It's just a heap o', a heap o' burning coals.

The Harvest Is Plentiful And the Workers Are Exhausted

Scripture Reference: Matthew 28:16-20, Acts 1:1-22, Matthew 9:37-38, Luke 10:2

A lesson about The Great Commission.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(DILLY enters exhausted.)

MR. MIKE: Hey, Dilly. How are you doing?

DILLY: I’m so tired I’m left-handed.

MR. MIKE: Why are you so tired?

DILLY: I was reading in the Bible that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.

MR. MIKE: That’s great that you’re still reading the Bible, but how did that make you so tired?

DILLY: Rein back your horse; you’re getting ahead of me.

MR. MIKE: Sorry. Go on.

DILLY: I’ve learned the hard way to be more obedient to what I read in the Bible, so I went to a farm and started harvesting crops.

MR. MIKE: Oh.

DILLY: (indignant) “Oh” what?

MR. MIKE: I’m glad you’re taking the Bible seriously, but that’s not what that means.

DILLY: Well, don’t that just take the cake. Then what in the wide, wide world of sports does it mean?

MR. MIKE: It means that there are lots of people in the world who need to hear the Good News, but not enough people to tell it.

DILLY: Well, flip me over and call me done. That’s a whole lot easier. (talking to the kids) Hey you! God loves you. Hey you! Jesus died for your sins. Hey you! Accept Jesus or you’re going to H-E-double hockey sticks. Hey next kid! ...

MR. MIKE: Dilly!

DILLY: Hush! I’m busy spreading the Good News. (turning back to the kids) Hey you! Jesus loves you this I know. (continue until all of the kids have been spoken to)
There. That wasn’t so hard.

MR. MIKE: Dilly, there’s a lot more to it than that.

DILLY: Do tell.

MR. MIKE: Jesus said to go and make disciples of all nations and baptize them.

DILLY: Well, that’s easier than falling off a greased log. We can go down to the bathroom and baptize the whole lot of them right now.

MR. MIKE: We’re not baptizing these fine young ladies and fellows in the bathroom.

DILLY: Suit yourself, but if we did, we’d be done with it all.

MR. MIKE: That’s what I’m trying to say. We wouldn’t be done with it. Being saved is eternally important, but that’s not the end. Jesus said to make them disciples.

DILLY: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Mr. Mike, but the disciples are all dead.

MR. MIKE: The original ones are, but we are supposed to be disciples, too.

DILLY: Pull the other one.

MR. MIKE: Truthfully. Christians are supposed to be disciples, or students, learning to serve God and be pleasing to Him.

DILLY: Well, don’t that just pop out your monocle. All those people I told about Jesus left high and dry. I must go find them and make them disciples. (running back and forth) I gotta go to my neighbors. I gotta go to the feed store. I gotta go to my neighbors. I gotta go… (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Denial Denial

Scripture Reference: Matthew 26:57-75, Mark 14:53-72, Luke 22:47-62, John 18:12-27

A lesson about denying Jesus.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

DILLY: Hi. Mr. Mike. How y'all doin'?

MR. MIKE: If I were doing any better, I couldn't stand it. How are you, Dilly?

DILLY: Why, I'm finer than frog hair.

MR. MIKE: What have you been up to?

DILLY: Well, Easter is coming, so I have been reading my Bible.

MR. MIKE: That's always a good idea. I'm proud of you.

DILLY: Aren't you sweeter than a jelly doughnut. Anyway, I was reading about Peter. He said he'd stick with Jesus, then he denied him three times. Fail!

MR. MIKE: That's not very nice.

DILLY: He failed like Elijah in the quiet game.

MR. MIKE: Dilly!

DILLY: Well he did.

MR. MIKE: He was scared. Imagine if Flora was arrested, and you thought you might be next. Don't you think you'd be scared?

DILLY: I'd be as scared as a turkey in November.

MR. MIKE: So you might deny knowing her.

DILLY: Possibly, but Flora isn't Jesus. Peter should have had more faith. I might deny Flora, but I'd never deny Jesus.

MR. MIKE: That's easier said than done.

DILLY: Whatever do you mean?

MR. MIKE: I remember you telling me about the last time you went to the feedstore. You said the clerk was telling you about a problem she was having.

DILLY: I remember. Bless her heart.

MR. MIKE: Did you offer to pray for her?

DILLY: Why no. I'd be embarrassed.

MR. MIKE: The fellow who took your bags out for you. You said you know he doesn't go to church any more. Did you invite him to church?

DILLY: Why no. That's not my place.

MR. MIKE: You mentioned that you don't think your neighbors are Christian. Did you tell them about Jesus?

DILLY: Why no. What would they think of me?

MR. MIKE: You just denied Jesus three times.

DILLY: (clucking) But... But... But...

MR. MIKE: When you don't stand up for Jesus; when you hide your relationship with Jesus, then you've denied Jesus, too.

DILLY: Well, knock me down and steal my teeth. I cannot fathom that I am as bad as Peter. Oh, my! All those people! I must go directly and make amends. (running back and forth) I gotta go to my neighbors. No, I gotta go to the feedstore. No, I gotta go to my neighbors. No, I just gotta go. (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

The Return of the Devil’s Vegetable

Scripture Reference: Matthew 26:47-56, Mark 14:32-42, Luke 22:47-54, John 18:2-12

A lesson about doing the Father’s will.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MATT begins on stage when D.B enters slowly, moaning and groaning.)

MR. MATT: What’s the matter, D.B.?

D.B.: I am sore, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: I’m sorry to hear that.

D.B.: My back is sore.

MR. MATT: I’m sorry.

D.B.: My arms are sore.

MR. MATT: Uh huh.

D.B.: My hands are sore.

MR. MATT: OK.

D.B.: My fingers are sore.

MR. MATT: OK.

D.B.: My knees are sore.

MR. MATT: D.B.

D.B.: My legs are sore.

MR. MATT: D.B.!

D.B.: Even my fuzzy little tail is sore.

MR. MATT: We get it, D.B. You’re sore. Why?

D.B.: I have been planting Brussels sprouts.

MR. MATT: You must really love Brussels sprouts.

D.B.: Oh, I hate them.

MR. MATT: Really?

D.B.: They are vile and nasty.

MR. MATT: I see.

D.B.: They are insidious spheres of detestation.

MR. MATT: Wow!

D.B.: (in a sinister whisper) They are the devil’s vegetable.

MR. MATT: That’s odd. Ozzie said the same thing.

D.B.: We have the same writer.

MR. MATT: OK, so you hate Brussels sprouts. I guess you like working in the dirt.

D.B.: Oh, no. Dirt is so… dirty.

MR. MATT: You did it for the exercise?

D.B.: Nope.

MR. MATT: To get a tan?

D.B.: I am a bunny, silly. I do not get a tan.

MR. MATT: Then why?

D.B.: Because my mommy asked me to do it.

MR. MATT: That’s it?

D.B.: That is it. I love my mommy, so I want to do what she asks me to do.

MR. MATT: Even if you don’t want to do it?

D.B.: Even if I do not want to do it.

MR. MATT: Even cleaning your room?

D.B.: There is no reason to get crazy.

MR. MATT: That is very mature of you. You look exhausted. Why don’t you to and rest.

D.B.: Thank you, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: You’re r welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.

Rainbows & Unicorns

Scripture Reference: Matthew 26:1-16, Mark 14:1-11, Luke 7:36-50, 22:1-6, John 12:1-11

A lesson about forgiveness.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

DILLY: How y'all doin', Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA: Very well. How are you, Dilly? Finer than frog hair?

DILLY: Not today. Right now, I'm madder than a box of frogs.

MISS REBECCA: Why's that?

DILLY: He just thinks he's all that and then some.

MISS REBECCA: Who?

DILLY: That little bantam rooster. I do believe he thinks he burps rainbows and unicorns.

MISS REBECCA: That does sound like someone who thinks highly of himself. What did he do?

DILLY: We was having a meeting of our Holy Poultry group when that sawed-off little roaster said I should be more grateful for my salvation.

MISS REBECCA: We should all be grateful for our salvation.

DILLY: Well, I am, I suppose. But if anyone should be grateful, it's that bantam. I recall what he was like before he was saved, and I just have one word – (sing-songy) LOSER!

MISS REBECCA: Dilly, that's a terrible thing to say.

DILLY: I still love him as my Christian brother, but he was a capital-L loser, bless his heart.

MISS REBECCA: Dilly! We need to all be thankful, because God has forgiven all of us so much.

DILLY: (under her breath) Some more than others.

MISS REBECCA: Our sin puts all of us farther away from God than any of us can reach on our own. It really doesn't matter if some people are a few more inches farther away.

DILLY: Or feet.

MISS REBECCA: Or feet.

DILLY: Or miles.

MISS REBECCA: Or miles.

DILLY: Or light years.

MISS REBECCA: Dilly, it doesn't matter. We are all sinful and the only way any of us can reach God is through Jesus Christ.

DILLY: But some people are very, very far away.

MISS REBECCA: But the good news is that nobody is too far for Jesus to reach. And nobody is so close that they don't need Jesus, too.

DILLY: Well, slap me silly and call me darlin'. I see what you mean. I should be as grateful as that pip-squeak of a rooster, because Jesus saved both of us.

MISS REBECCA: Exactly!

DILLY: Oh my! I am much obliged, Miss Rebecca. I reckon I should go to that little bantam rooster directly and tell him I have done him a great disservice. I cannot believe I flew off the handle like that with that dear young boy. I need to go at once and make amends. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

We Will Rock You

Scripture Reference: Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19:29-44, John 12:12-19

A lesson about praising Jesus, the King.

Cast:
STONES
NARRATOR

Props:
• I made my stones out of foam rubber prop rocks with sticks attached to allow them to dance and move.
• Music (I chose “Every Move I Make” from Shout to the Lord Kids)

(When the music starts, the puppet stage is empty. Once the intro ends, the STONES enter and dance to the music.)

(NARRATOR enters after the music ends.)

NARRATOR: “I tell you,” Jesus replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

Violet’s Stuff

Scripture Reference: Matthew 19:16-30, Mark 10:17-31, Luke 18:18-30

A lesson about God vs. stuff.

Cast:
VIOLET – a very tightly-wound purple bird
MR. JEFF – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
Lots of stuff (both ordinary and unusual) to toss from the puppet stage

(This skits starts at the end of “The Rich Man” monolog from Traveling Light. After the last line (“He doesn’t understand! I’VE GOT A LOTTA STUFF!”) stuff starts flying from the puppet stage.)

MR. JEFF: What in the world? (walks over to puppet stage, dodging projectiles) Cut it out! (stuff keeps flying; look behind puppet stage) Violet, is that you?

VIOLET: (appears and says frantically) What?!?

MR. JEFF: Look at this mess you made. What are you doing?

VIOLET: Getting rid of all my stuff.

MR. JEFF: Why?

VIOLET: Don’t you even listen to yourself?

MR. JEFF: Not always. What did I say?

VIOLET: That Jesus told that guy to get rid of all his stuff.

MR. JEFF: Yeah, but that doesn’t explain why your trashing our classroom.

VIOLET: Don’t you get it?! If I don’t get rid of all this stuff I can’t go to heaven!

MR. JEFF: I’m not sure you heard the story right.

VIOLET: You might not have been listening, but I was paying close attention. Jesus definitely told that guy to get rid of all his stuff. So… (exits and stuff starts flying again)

MR. JEFF: Violet!

VIOLET: (enters) What?

MR. JEFF: Let’s go at this differently What do you have to do to be saved?

VIOLET: Have faith that Jesus Christ died for the forgiveness of my sins.

MR. JEFF: Exactly. Does that have anything to do with stuff?

VIOLET: No! But Jesus told that guy to sell his stuff!

MR. JEFF: That was an instruction to that one person. The man in the story didn’t understand what it meant to be saved. He thought if he was good enough, he’d be saved. Jesus tried to show this to him by giving him something impossible for him to do.

VIOLET: So Jesus didn’t want him to be saved?

MR. JEFF: No, the Bible tells us that God desires all to be saved.

VIOLET: So it was impossible for him to be saved?

MR. JEFF: It was impossible for him to save himself. When the disciples asked Jesus who can be saved, he said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

VIOLET: So why did Jesus tell the guys to sell his stuff?

MR. JEFF: There’s just one way to God, and that’s through Jesus Christ. For the rich man, his stuff was blocking the way.

VIOLET: Oh.

MR. JEFF: We all need to remove whatever is blocking our way to God. It may be stuff or pride or fear or ignorance. We can help people clear the way, but only God can save anyone.

VIOLET: Well, I knew that!

MR. JEFF: (looking around at all the stuff on the ground) Oh, really?

VIOLET: Oh, that.

MR. JEFF: Yeah, that.

VIOLET: Um… I think I hear the phone ringing. Gotta go. Bye. (exits)

MR. JEFF: Bye, Violet.

By His Strength

Scripture Reference: Matthew 17:14-21, Mark 9:14-29, Luke 9:37-49

A lesson about faith and prayer.

Cast:

DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight

MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:

none

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA: Fantastic! How are you today, Miss Dilly?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair.

MISS REBECCA: I seem to recall hearing last summer that you were raising money to build chicken coops for homeless chickens.

DILLY: Yes, the Lord laid that burden on my heart, and I have been diligently obedient to that calling.

MISS REBECCA: I’m glad to hear that. How’s it going?

DILLY: Well, lately raising money has been about as easy as trying to steer a herd of cats.

MISS REBECCA: I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?

DILLY: With the bad economy, people are tighter than my Aunt Bessie’s corset. No matter what we do, we’re having trouble raising money.

MISS REBECCA: What have you tried?

DILLY: We tried a kissing booth. We even had that cute Elly Mae working. She’s a cute as a basket full of speckled puppies.

MISS REBECCA: How’d that work out.

DILLY: Not so good. It turns out that chickens to not have lips. She nearly put out the eyes of three roosters before we had to shut it down.S

MISS REBECCA: That’s too bad. What else did you try?

DILLY: Next we had a picnic. It was in a very lovely park, and we even had it catered.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a good idea.

DILLY: It was, but unfortunately, the caterer served fried chicken.

MISS REBECCA: But everyone likes fried… Oh!

DILLY: Oh, indeed. That caterer was as sharp as a bagful of wet mice.

MISS REBECCA: I hope you won’t give up. It is such a good cause.

DILLY: I won’t give up ‘til the gravy’s cold, but I am running out of ideas.

MISS REBECCA: Have you prayed about it?

DILLY: Oh heavens no!

MISS REBECCA: No? Why not?

DILLY: This is a special mission given to me by God. I’m not about to go back to Him and tell Him I can’t do it.

MISS REBECCA: Prayer isn’t giving up. God chose you, but He didn’t intend for you to do it alone.

DILLY: Well, I do have Flora helping me.

MISS REBECCA: That’s great, but I mean that God wants to help you. We aren’t suppose to do His work by our own strength but by His strength.

DILLY: Well, if that don’t sauté my gizzard. That is such a relief. It’s exhausting do this by myself.

MISS REBECCA: Some things can be worked out only by prayer.

DILLY: Well, I couldn’t be more excited if there was a shoe sale. I just know we are going to make tremendous progress now with God’s help. I must go at once and start praying. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!

Backstage Epiphany

Scripture Reference: Matthew 17:1-13, Mark 9:2-13, Luke 9:28-36

A lesson about mountaintop experiences.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MR.MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

MR. MIKE: (after praying) Time to turn your attention to the puppet stage for our puppet show. (long pause) Our puppet show! (long pause) Are you back there, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Yes.

MR. MIKE: Are you coming out?

OZZIE: No.

MR. MIKE: Be a good fellow and come out and talk to the kids.

OZZIE: Um… No.

MR. MIKE: Why not?

OZZIE: Well, Mr. Mike, I was back here praying while you and the kids were praying.

MR. MIKE: That’s good.

OZZIE: And I had a deep spiritual experience.

MR. MIKE: That’s wonderful, Ozzie. But why aren’t you coming out?

OZZIE: I’ve realized that this is a special place, because I heard from God here. So I’ve decided to stay backstage.

MR. MIKE: For how long?

OZZIE: Forever.

MR. MIKE: Forever?

OZZIE: That’s the plan.

MR. MIKE: How do you plan to eat?

OZZIE: (mystically) I figured God would send ravens to feed me and tend to my needs. (casually) Or Squiggly can fetch me some Twinkies.

SQUIGGLY: (appears and nods)

MR. MIKE: What about school?

OZZIE: I won’t miss school. Besides, Squiggly can bring me my homework.

SQUIGGLY: (nods)

MR. MIKE: What about chores at home?

OZZIE: I’m spending time with God here. I’m sure my mom will understand. If not, then Squiggly can do my chores for me.

SQUIGGLY: (shakes head no)

MR. MIKE: But what about all the fine boys and girls?

OZZIE: What about them?

MR. MIKE: They are waiting on you. They learn so much from you.

OZZIE: You don’t say.

MR. MIKE: I do say. The kids need you, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Squiggly can handle it.

SQUIGGLY: (faints)

MR. MIKE: Apparently not. It’s great to spend time in God’s presence, but God also wants you doing things to make a difference in people’s lives and telling people about Him.

OZZIE: Seriously?

MR. MIKE: Seriously. Now be a good fellow and come on out.

OZZIE: (appears) OK. (pause) Now what?

MR. MIKE: Share with them our lesson for today.

OZZIE: (very seriously) Our lesson for today is… (dramatic pause, clears throat, the says quickly) what Mr. Mike said. (disappears)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

Carotene 200

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:22-33, Mark 6:45-52, John 6:16-21

A lesson about keeping your eyes on Jesus.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. ELIJAH – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
A big carrot (preferably with leaves)

(MR. ELIJAH begins on stage.)

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Elijah.

MR. ELIJAH: D.B., just the bunny I wanted to see. I have a message for you from your mother.

D.B.: Really? What did she…? (spots the carrot) Oooo!

MR. ELIJAH: What’s the matter, D.B.?

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: D.B.?

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: (waving hand in from his face) D.B.!

D.B.: (still staring) Huh?

MR. ELIJAH: What you staring at?

D.B.: (dreamily) That.

MR. ELIJAH: You mean the carrot?

D.B.: That is not just any carrot. That is a Carotene 200.

MR. ELIJAH: A what?

D.B.: A Carotene 200. A selection of the Autumn King type, with deep orange, heavy conical carrots up to 27cm in length, with strong foliage. It keeps well in the ground and stores for a long period, keeping its flavor. 475 seeds.

MR. ELIJAH: How do you know so much about carrots?

D.B.: I am a rabbit, silly. (still staring at the carrot)

MR. ELIJAH: Anyway, your mom wanted me to tell you that she won’t be home after church, so you’re suppose to go to your Uncle Thumper’s house.

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: D.B., are you listening?

D.B.: (snapping out of it) What? Of course I am listening.

MR. ELIJAH: We, you didn’t seem to be…

D.B.: I am a very good listener.

MR. ELIJAH: I’m sure you are, but…

D.B.: After all, I have great big rabbit ears.

MR. ELIJAH: So does my television, but that doesn’t make it a good listener. So tell me what I said.

D.B.: Huh?

MR. ELIJAH: If you were listening, what did I say?

D.B.: What did you say? Um… You said she’s going to play bunco with a rubber mouse.

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go juggle a grumpy louse?

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go smuggle a lumpy grouse?

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go snorkel a monkey joust?

MR. ELIJAH: That doesn’t even make sense.

D.B.: No, I guess not. I am sorry. I was so distracted by the Carotene 200 (looks & sighs) that I did not really listen. Please tell me again what my mom said.

MR. ELIJAH: She said to go to your Uncle Thumper’s house.

D.B.: That makes a lot more sense.

MR. ELIJAH: I imagine it does.

D.B.: Is that all, Mr. Elijah?

MR. ELIJAH: That’s it, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Elijah.

MR. ELIJAH: Bye, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Carotene 200. (exits)

Looking for a Sleight Advantage

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:13-21, Mark 6:31-34, Luke 9:10-17, John 6:5-15

A lesson about the Bread of Life.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
none

(MR. MATT begins on stage.)

DILLY: Mr. Matt!

MR. MATT: Hi, Dilly. How’s it going?

DILLY: I’m as frazzled as a handful of Twizzlers.

MR. MATT: What’s the matter?

DILLY: I’m having a little luncheon at my house today, and I have been working around the cluck to get it ready.

MR. MATT: Do you need some help setting up?

DILLY: I have some help. Flora is helping, and that’s the problem.

MR. MATT: Why is Flora the problem?

DILLY: Don’t get me wrong, Flora is an outstanding worker, but she is a softy, bless her heart.

MR. MATT: What’s wrong with that?

DILLY: In this case, she felt bad that some had not been invited to my luncheon and proceeded to invite them.

MR. MATT: That was nice of her.

DILLY: But she did not consider that some of them are the hoi polloi, and I had chosen not to invite them.

MR. MATT: Anyway, what do you need me for?

DILLY: Well, we are sorely lacking in victuals, so I was hoping you could show me that trick that Jesus did.

MR. MATT: What trick are you talking about?

DILLY: Y’all know that one. When he fed the 5000 folks that bitty bit of fish and bread. Knowing that would be as useful as a shirt pocket.

MR. MATT: That wasn’t a trick; that was a miracle.

DILLY: I’ll say. And it’ll take a miracle to pull off this luncheon after what Flora did.

MR. MATT: No, I mean it wasn’t a sleight of hand. Jesus performed a miracle when He fed the 5000 with five loaves and two fish.

DILLY: That’s what I’m getting at. How can I do that? And does it work with feed corn?

MR. MATT: He didn’t pull more food out of His sleeve or from behind someone’s ear. Jesus created the food.

DILLY: Well, I can’t do that!

MR. MATT: Exactly. Jesus is God and, despite what you may think, you aren’t.

DILLY: Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud! I get it now! How excitin’! We can make do with the food we have or have potluck or figure something out. I now have the most scintillating topic of discussion for our luncheon. I must find Flora and share the news. (exits)

MR. MATT: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)