Witless for Christ

Scripture Reference: Acts 8:26-40, Mark 13:11

A lesson about witnessing.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MISS REBECCA begins on stage)

OZZIE: Hi, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Good morning, Ozzie. What’s up?

OZZIE: I’m glad you asked. Before class started, I saw… (starts listing things that happened before church that morning) Then I saw Pastor John…

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie, why are you telling me all of this?

OZZIE: I heard the lesson today is about witnessing, so I thought I would tell you all the stuff I witnessed this morning.
MISS REBECCA: Ah! We’re not talking about that kind of witnessing.

OZZIE: Are you certain? Cause I got lots more stuff I witnessed.

MISS REBECCA: I’m sure you do, but I’m certain that we are talking about something different this morning.

OZZIE: (disappointed) Oh. (confused) What other sort of witnessing is there?

MISS REBECCA: We are talking about sharing our faith in Jesus Christ with others.

OZZIE: How is that witnessing?

MISS REBECCA: Let me explain it this way: If there was a trial and you had information about the case, you’d be called as a witness to testify about the facts of the case.

OZZIE: Oh, so someone here broke the law. (stage whispers) Was it Nikki? She’s pretty suspicious.

MISS REBECCA: Nikki is not on trial. No one here broke the law.

OZZIE: Then what’s the trial about?

MISS REBECCA: The trial was hypothetical.

OZZIE: Is that against the law?

MISS REBECCA: No, I mean it is an analogy. As a witness for Christ, we tell others the facts about Jesus.

OZZIE: Like how he was born in a stable and died on a cross?

MISS REBECCA: Yes, but not just historical facts. We testify about how He has changed our lives.

OZZIE: That sounds really hard. I don’t think I’d know what to say.

MISS REBECCA: You just have to tell the truth, just like you would in a courtroom.

OZZIE: That doesn’t sound so bad.

MISS REBECCA: Jesus also tells us not to worry beforehand, because the Holy Spirit will speak for us.

OZZIE: That’s even better.

MISS REBECCA: So you understand now what we mean by witnessing?

OZZIE: I certainly do, and I’m glad it’s this kind of witnessing.

MISS REBECCA: Why’s that?

OZZIE: Cause I don’t want anyone witnessing me eating all the doughnuts. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie!

Denial Denial

Scripture Reference: Matthew 26:57-75, Mark 14:53-72, Luke 22:47-62, John 18:12-27

A lesson about denying Jesus.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

DILLY: Hi. Mr. Mike. How y'all doin'?

MR. MIKE: If I were doing any better, I couldn't stand it. How are you, Dilly?

DILLY: Why, I'm finer than frog hair.

MR. MIKE: What have you been up to?

DILLY: Well, Easter is coming, so I have been reading my Bible.

MR. MIKE: That's always a good idea. I'm proud of you.

DILLY: Aren't you sweeter than a jelly doughnut. Anyway, I was reading about Peter. He said he'd stick with Jesus, then he denied him three times. Fail!

MR. MIKE: That's not very nice.

DILLY: He failed like Elijah in the quiet game.

MR. MIKE: Dilly!

DILLY: Well he did.

MR. MIKE: He was scared. Imagine if Flora was arrested, and you thought you might be next. Don't you think you'd be scared?

DILLY: I'd be as scared as a turkey in November.

MR. MIKE: So you might deny knowing her.

DILLY: Possibly, but Flora isn't Jesus. Peter should have had more faith. I might deny Flora, but I'd never deny Jesus.

MR. MIKE: That's easier said than done.

DILLY: Whatever do you mean?

MR. MIKE: I remember you telling me about the last time you went to the feedstore. You said the clerk was telling you about a problem she was having.

DILLY: I remember. Bless her heart.

MR. MIKE: Did you offer to pray for her?

DILLY: Why no. I'd be embarrassed.

MR. MIKE: The fellow who took your bags out for you. You said you know he doesn't go to church any more. Did you invite him to church?

DILLY: Why no. That's not my place.

MR. MIKE: You mentioned that you don't think your neighbors are Christian. Did you tell them about Jesus?

DILLY: Why no. What would they think of me?

MR. MIKE: You just denied Jesus three times.

DILLY: (clucking) But... But... But...

MR. MIKE: When you don't stand up for Jesus; when you hide your relationship with Jesus, then you've denied Jesus, too.

DILLY: Well, knock me down and steal my teeth. I cannot fathom that I am as bad as Peter. Oh, my! All those people! I must go directly and make amends. (running back and forth) I gotta go to my neighbors. No, I gotta go to the feedstore. No, I gotta go to my neighbors. No, I just gotta go. (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

The Return of the Devil’s Vegetable

Scripture Reference: Matthew 26:47-56, Mark 14:32-42, Luke 22:47-54, John 18:2-12

A lesson about doing the Father’s will.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MATT begins on stage when D.B enters slowly, moaning and groaning.)

MR. MATT: What’s the matter, D.B.?

D.B.: I am sore, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: I’m sorry to hear that.

D.B.: My back is sore.

MR. MATT: I’m sorry.

D.B.: My arms are sore.

MR. MATT: Uh huh.

D.B.: My hands are sore.

MR. MATT: OK.

D.B.: My fingers are sore.

MR. MATT: OK.

D.B.: My knees are sore.

MR. MATT: D.B.

D.B.: My legs are sore.

MR. MATT: D.B.!

D.B.: Even my fuzzy little tail is sore.

MR. MATT: We get it, D.B. You’re sore. Why?

D.B.: I have been planting Brussels sprouts.

MR. MATT: You must really love Brussels sprouts.

D.B.: Oh, I hate them.

MR. MATT: Really?

D.B.: They are vile and nasty.

MR. MATT: I see.

D.B.: They are insidious spheres of detestation.

MR. MATT: Wow!

D.B.: (in a sinister whisper) They are the devil’s vegetable.

MR. MATT: That’s odd. Ozzie said the same thing.

D.B.: We have the same writer.

MR. MATT: OK, so you hate Brussels sprouts. I guess you like working in the dirt.

D.B.: Oh, no. Dirt is so… dirty.

MR. MATT: You did it for the exercise?

D.B.: Nope.

MR. MATT: To get a tan?

D.B.: I am a bunny, silly. I do not get a tan.

MR. MATT: Then why?

D.B.: Because my mommy asked me to do it.

MR. MATT: That’s it?

D.B.: That is it. I love my mommy, so I want to do what she asks me to do.

MR. MATT: Even if you don’t want to do it?

D.B.: Even if I do not want to do it.

MR. MATT: Even cleaning your room?

D.B.: There is no reason to get crazy.

MR. MATT: That is very mature of you. You look exhausted. Why don’t you to and rest.

D.B.: Thank you, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: You’re r welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.

Snack Time

Scripture Reference: Mark 14:12-26, 1 Corinthians 11:23-26

A lesson about Communion and remembrance.

Cast: OZZIE – an excitable little monster; MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

(OZZIE appears and starts looking around.)

MR. MATT: What are you looking for, Ozzie?

OZZIE: I'm looking for the snack tray I saw you making earlier, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: What are you talking about?

OZZIE: I saw you in the kitchen earlier this morning making a snack tray, but I didn't see where you put it.

MR. MATT: I don't know what you are talking about.

OZZIE: You know. The snack tray. The one with the bread and the juice.

MR. MATT: Oh! That's not a snack tray. That was for Communion.

OZZIE: Communion. Snack. Same thing. Where is it? I'm hungry!

MR. MATT: Ozzie! Communion is so much more than snack time. Communion is... (at this point share what Communion means to you personally)

OZZIE: Well, that's completely different than snack time!

MR. MATT: Very different. I'm glad you can see that.

OZZIE: But I'm still hungry.

MR. MATT: Sorry, I can't help you with that.

OZZIE: I saw Mr. Jeff with bread and juice, too. I'm going to see if he's having snack time. (exits)

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

Rainbows & Unicorns

Scripture Reference: Matthew 26:1-16, Mark 14:1-11, Luke 7:36-50, 22:1-6, John 12:1-11

A lesson about forgiveness.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

DILLY: How y'all doin', Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA: Very well. How are you, Dilly? Finer than frog hair?

DILLY: Not today. Right now, I'm madder than a box of frogs.

MISS REBECCA: Why's that?

DILLY: He just thinks he's all that and then some.

MISS REBECCA: Who?

DILLY: That little bantam rooster. I do believe he thinks he burps rainbows and unicorns.

MISS REBECCA: That does sound like someone who thinks highly of himself. What did he do?

DILLY: We was having a meeting of our Holy Poultry group when that sawed-off little roaster said I should be more grateful for my salvation.

MISS REBECCA: We should all be grateful for our salvation.

DILLY: Well, I am, I suppose. But if anyone should be grateful, it's that bantam. I recall what he was like before he was saved, and I just have one word – (sing-songy) LOSER!

MISS REBECCA: Dilly, that's a terrible thing to say.

DILLY: I still love him as my Christian brother, but he was a capital-L loser, bless his heart.

MISS REBECCA: Dilly! We need to all be thankful, because God has forgiven all of us so much.

DILLY: (under her breath) Some more than others.

MISS REBECCA: Our sin puts all of us farther away from God than any of us can reach on our own. It really doesn't matter if some people are a few more inches farther away.

DILLY: Or feet.

MISS REBECCA: Or feet.

DILLY: Or miles.

MISS REBECCA: Or miles.

DILLY: Or light years.

MISS REBECCA: Dilly, it doesn't matter. We are all sinful and the only way any of us can reach God is through Jesus Christ.

DILLY: But some people are very, very far away.

MISS REBECCA: But the good news is that nobody is too far for Jesus to reach. And nobody is so close that they don't need Jesus, too.

DILLY: Well, slap me silly and call me darlin'. I see what you mean. I should be as grateful as that pip-squeak of a rooster, because Jesus saved both of us.

MISS REBECCA: Exactly!

DILLY: Oh my! I am much obliged, Miss Rebecca. I reckon I should go to that little bantam rooster directly and tell him I have done him a great disservice. I cannot believe I flew off the handle like that with that dear young boy. I need to go at once and make amends. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

Scripture Reference: Mark 12:41-44, Luke 21:1-4, 2 Chronicles 21:18-26

A lesson about giving.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

D.B.: (enters singing) Once I had a railroad, made it run, made it run against time. Once I had a railroad, now it is gone. Brother, can you spare a time?

MISS REBECCA: Well, that was... What I mean to say is that your singing is... (pause) so why the song,

D.B.? D.B.: I had a spare dime I put in the collection plate, Miss Rebecca, and it made me think of that song.

MISS REBECCA: That was very nice of you, sweetie.

D.B.: Aw shucks! It was just a dime I had leftover from my allowance. You cannot buy anything with a dime, so I put it in the collection plate. I did not have anything better to do with it.

MISS REBECCA: It's very nice of you to give to the church, but your attitude about giving isn't very biblical.

D.B.: What do you mean?

MISS REBECCA: The Bible says we shouldn't give our leftovers. It says that we should give God our first fruits.

D.B.: Then that does not apply to me.

MISS REBECCA: Why?

D.B.: Because I did not buy fruit with my allowance. Just candy.

MISS REBECCA: That's not what that means.

D.B.: Unless God wants my runts.

MISS REBECCA: God doesn't want your runts.

D.B.: Oh, good. Because they are my favorite.

MISS REBECCA: What He wants is for you to give to Him first and not give whatever is left over.

D.B.: Oh So I should have given to God before I bought my candy?

MISS REBECCA: Exactly. The Bible goes even farther, though. It reminds us that it's all really God's to start with, and we should give everything to Him.

D.B.: Then the church would need a much bigger collection plate.

MISS REBECCA: That's not what I...

D.B.: It would be full of toys and candy and...

MISS REBECCA: I didn't mean...

D.B.: cars and houses...

MISS REBECCA: Now you're just getting silly.

D.B.: and dogs and clothes...

MISS REBECCA: D.B.

D.B.: Then people would be coming to church with no clothes on!

MISS REBECCA: D.B.!!

D.B.: (calmly) Yes?

MISS REBECCA: That's not what that means.

D.B.: Phew! That was a very unpleasant mental image.

MISS REBECCA: It means that, since everything is God's, we need to take good care of it and use everything to God's glory.

D.B.: That makes a lot more sense.

MISS REBECCA: I would think so.

D.B.: And does not involve naked people at church.

MISS REBECCA: Yes.

D.B.: I am going to pay God first the next time I get my allowance, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Good for you, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

Monster Church

Scripture Reference: Mark 11:15-18

A lesson about the church.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE is on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: Hey, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Hi, Ozzie. I haven’t seen you in a long time. I’ve missed you.

OZZIE: I missed you, too. You know (stage whisper) you’re my favorite teacher.

JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can hear you.

OZZIE: (looks down then shrugs) Anyway, I’ve been going to my church for the last few weeks.

MR. MIKE: Oh. What church is that?

OZZIE: Monster Church.

MR. MIKE: Monster Church?

OZZIE: Yeah, that where I go when I don’t come here. It’s a lot like this church, only more hairy.

MR. MIKE: Do you like it there?

OZZIE: It’s swell, but we have a hard time getting grownups to teach us in children’s church.

MR. MIKE: Why’s that?

OZZIE: Would you want to be in a room full of little monsters?

MR. MIKE: I see your point, but you have some grown-ups who help, don’t you?

OZZIE: Oh, sure. And we have lots of fun.

MR. MIKE: Like what?

OZZIE: We sing songs.

MR. MIKE: Bible songs?

OZZIE: No. But we have stories.

MR. MIKE: Bible stories?

OZZIE: No. We do memorize verses.

MR. MIKE: Bible verses?

OZZIE: No.

MR. MIKE: Do you use the Bible at all?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah! We use one to prop up one end of our big screen TV.

MR. MIKE: Big screen TV?

OZZIE: Yeah! This morning we started watching Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. Our teachers say that it has great spiritual significance.

MR. MIKE: Doesn’t anyone actually read the Bible?

OZZIE: Oh, no. The teachers say they have a hard time understanding all of the Bible, so there’s no way we kids could ever understand it.

MR. MIKE: But don’t the teachers here read the Bible when you visit?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah. And they have kids memorize verses.

MR. MIKE: Bible verses?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they have stories.

MR. MIKE: Bible stories?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they sing songs.

MR. MIKE: Bible songs?

OZZIE: Yeah. So kids really can learn stuff from the Bible?

MR. MIKE: They sure can.

OZZIE: I think I’m gonna talk to my teachers about using the Bible more.

MR. MIKE: That’s a great idea, Ozzie.

OZZIE: But I think I’m gonna wait a week before I tell them.

MR. MIKE: Why wait?

OZZIE: Because I want to see how Never Say Never ends. That Justin Bieber is just so cute. (exits)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

We Will Rock You

Scripture Reference: Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19:29-44, John 12:12-19

A lesson about praising Jesus, the King.

Cast:
STONES
NARRATOR

Props:
• I made my stones out of foam rubber prop rocks with sticks attached to allow them to dance and move.
• Music (I chose “Every Move I Make” from Shout to the Lord Kids)

(When the music starts, the puppet stage is empty. Once the intro ends, the STONES enter and dance to the music.)

(NARRATOR enters after the music ends.)

NARRATOR: “I tell you,” Jesus replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

Violet’s Stuff

Scripture Reference: Matthew 19:16-30, Mark 10:17-31, Luke 18:18-30

A lesson about God vs. stuff.

Cast:
VIOLET – a very tightly-wound purple bird
MR. JEFF – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
Lots of stuff (both ordinary and unusual) to toss from the puppet stage

(This skits starts at the end of “The Rich Man” monolog from Traveling Light. After the last line (“He doesn’t understand! I’VE GOT A LOTTA STUFF!”) stuff starts flying from the puppet stage.)

MR. JEFF: What in the world? (walks over to puppet stage, dodging projectiles) Cut it out! (stuff keeps flying; look behind puppet stage) Violet, is that you?

VIOLET: (appears and says frantically) What?!?

MR. JEFF: Look at this mess you made. What are you doing?

VIOLET: Getting rid of all my stuff.

MR. JEFF: Why?

VIOLET: Don’t you even listen to yourself?

MR. JEFF: Not always. What did I say?

VIOLET: That Jesus told that guy to get rid of all his stuff.

MR. JEFF: Yeah, but that doesn’t explain why your trashing our classroom.

VIOLET: Don’t you get it?! If I don’t get rid of all this stuff I can’t go to heaven!

MR. JEFF: I’m not sure you heard the story right.

VIOLET: You might not have been listening, but I was paying close attention. Jesus definitely told that guy to get rid of all his stuff. So… (exits and stuff starts flying again)

MR. JEFF: Violet!

VIOLET: (enters) What?

MR. JEFF: Let’s go at this differently What do you have to do to be saved?

VIOLET: Have faith that Jesus Christ died for the forgiveness of my sins.

MR. JEFF: Exactly. Does that have anything to do with stuff?

VIOLET: No! But Jesus told that guy to sell his stuff!

MR. JEFF: That was an instruction to that one person. The man in the story didn’t understand what it meant to be saved. He thought if he was good enough, he’d be saved. Jesus tried to show this to him by giving him something impossible for him to do.

VIOLET: So Jesus didn’t want him to be saved?

MR. JEFF: No, the Bible tells us that God desires all to be saved.

VIOLET: So it was impossible for him to be saved?

MR. JEFF: It was impossible for him to save himself. When the disciples asked Jesus who can be saved, he said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

VIOLET: So why did Jesus tell the guys to sell his stuff?

MR. JEFF: There’s just one way to God, and that’s through Jesus Christ. For the rich man, his stuff was blocking the way.

VIOLET: Oh.

MR. JEFF: We all need to remove whatever is blocking our way to God. It may be stuff or pride or fear or ignorance. We can help people clear the way, but only God can save anyone.

VIOLET: Well, I knew that!

MR. JEFF: (looking around at all the stuff on the ground) Oh, really?

VIOLET: Oh, that.

MR. JEFF: Yeah, that.

VIOLET: Um… I think I hear the phone ringing. Gotta go. Bye. (exits)

MR. JEFF: Bye, Violet.

By His Strength

Scripture Reference: Matthew 17:14-21, Mark 9:14-29, Luke 9:37-49

A lesson about faith and prayer.

Cast:

DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight

MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:

none

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA: Fantastic! How are you today, Miss Dilly?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair.

MISS REBECCA: I seem to recall hearing last summer that you were raising money to build chicken coops for homeless chickens.

DILLY: Yes, the Lord laid that burden on my heart, and I have been diligently obedient to that calling.

MISS REBECCA: I’m glad to hear that. How’s it going?

DILLY: Well, lately raising money has been about as easy as trying to steer a herd of cats.

MISS REBECCA: I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?

DILLY: With the bad economy, people are tighter than my Aunt Bessie’s corset. No matter what we do, we’re having trouble raising money.

MISS REBECCA: What have you tried?

DILLY: We tried a kissing booth. We even had that cute Elly Mae working. She’s a cute as a basket full of speckled puppies.

MISS REBECCA: How’d that work out.

DILLY: Not so good. It turns out that chickens to not have lips. She nearly put out the eyes of three roosters before we had to shut it down.S

MISS REBECCA: That’s too bad. What else did you try?

DILLY: Next we had a picnic. It was in a very lovely park, and we even had it catered.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a good idea.

DILLY: It was, but unfortunately, the caterer served fried chicken.

MISS REBECCA: But everyone likes fried… Oh!

DILLY: Oh, indeed. That caterer was as sharp as a bagful of wet mice.

MISS REBECCA: I hope you won’t give up. It is such a good cause.

DILLY: I won’t give up ‘til the gravy’s cold, but I am running out of ideas.

MISS REBECCA: Have you prayed about it?

DILLY: Oh heavens no!

MISS REBECCA: No? Why not?

DILLY: This is a special mission given to me by God. I’m not about to go back to Him and tell Him I can’t do it.

MISS REBECCA: Prayer isn’t giving up. God chose you, but He didn’t intend for you to do it alone.

DILLY: Well, I do have Flora helping me.

MISS REBECCA: That’s great, but I mean that God wants to help you. We aren’t suppose to do His work by our own strength but by His strength.

DILLY: Well, if that don’t sauté my gizzard. That is such a relief. It’s exhausting do this by myself.

MISS REBECCA: Some things can be worked out only by prayer.

DILLY: Well, I couldn’t be more excited if there was a shoe sale. I just know we are going to make tremendous progress now with God’s help. I must go at once and start praying. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!

Backstage Epiphany

Scripture Reference: Matthew 17:1-13, Mark 9:2-13, Luke 9:28-36

A lesson about mountaintop experiences.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MR.MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

MR. MIKE: (after praying) Time to turn your attention to the puppet stage for our puppet show. (long pause) Our puppet show! (long pause) Are you back there, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Yes.

MR. MIKE: Are you coming out?

OZZIE: No.

MR. MIKE: Be a good fellow and come out and talk to the kids.

OZZIE: Um… No.

MR. MIKE: Why not?

OZZIE: Well, Mr. Mike, I was back here praying while you and the kids were praying.

MR. MIKE: That’s good.

OZZIE: And I had a deep spiritual experience.

MR. MIKE: That’s wonderful, Ozzie. But why aren’t you coming out?

OZZIE: I’ve realized that this is a special place, because I heard from God here. So I’ve decided to stay backstage.

MR. MIKE: For how long?

OZZIE: Forever.

MR. MIKE: Forever?

OZZIE: That’s the plan.

MR. MIKE: How do you plan to eat?

OZZIE: (mystically) I figured God would send ravens to feed me and tend to my needs. (casually) Or Squiggly can fetch me some Twinkies.

SQUIGGLY: (appears and nods)

MR. MIKE: What about school?

OZZIE: I won’t miss school. Besides, Squiggly can bring me my homework.

SQUIGGLY: (nods)

MR. MIKE: What about chores at home?

OZZIE: I’m spending time with God here. I’m sure my mom will understand. If not, then Squiggly can do my chores for me.

SQUIGGLY: (shakes head no)

MR. MIKE: But what about all the fine boys and girls?

OZZIE: What about them?

MR. MIKE: They are waiting on you. They learn so much from you.

OZZIE: You don’t say.

MR. MIKE: I do say. The kids need you, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Squiggly can handle it.

SQUIGGLY: (faints)

MR. MIKE: Apparently not. It’s great to spend time in God’s presence, but God also wants you doing things to make a difference in people’s lives and telling people about Him.

OZZIE: Seriously?

MR. MIKE: Seriously. Now be a good fellow and come on out.

OZZIE: (appears) OK. (pause) Now what?

MR. MIKE: Share with them our lesson for today.

OZZIE: (very seriously) Our lesson for today is… (dramatic pause, clears throat, the says quickly) what Mr. Mike said. (disappears)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

Carotene 200

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:22-33, Mark 6:45-52, John 6:16-21

A lesson about keeping your eyes on Jesus.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. ELIJAH – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
A big carrot (preferably with leaves)

(MR. ELIJAH begins on stage.)

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Elijah.

MR. ELIJAH: D.B., just the bunny I wanted to see. I have a message for you from your mother.

D.B.: Really? What did she…? (spots the carrot) Oooo!

MR. ELIJAH: What’s the matter, D.B.?

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: D.B.?

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: (waving hand in from his face) D.B.!

D.B.: (still staring) Huh?

MR. ELIJAH: What you staring at?

D.B.: (dreamily) That.

MR. ELIJAH: You mean the carrot?

D.B.: That is not just any carrot. That is a Carotene 200.

MR. ELIJAH: A what?

D.B.: A Carotene 200. A selection of the Autumn King type, with deep orange, heavy conical carrots up to 27cm in length, with strong foliage. It keeps well in the ground and stores for a long period, keeping its flavor. 475 seeds.

MR. ELIJAH: How do you know so much about carrots?

D.B.: I am a rabbit, silly. (still staring at the carrot)

MR. ELIJAH: Anyway, your mom wanted me to tell you that she won’t be home after church, so you’re suppose to go to your Uncle Thumper’s house.

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: D.B., are you listening?

D.B.: (snapping out of it) What? Of course I am listening.

MR. ELIJAH: We, you didn’t seem to be…

D.B.: I am a very good listener.

MR. ELIJAH: I’m sure you are, but…

D.B.: After all, I have great big rabbit ears.

MR. ELIJAH: So does my television, but that doesn’t make it a good listener. So tell me what I said.

D.B.: Huh?

MR. ELIJAH: If you were listening, what did I say?

D.B.: What did you say? Um… You said she’s going to play bunco with a rubber mouse.

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go juggle a grumpy louse?

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go smuggle a lumpy grouse?

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go snorkel a monkey joust?

MR. ELIJAH: That doesn’t even make sense.

D.B.: No, I guess not. I am sorry. I was so distracted by the Carotene 200 (looks & sighs) that I did not really listen. Please tell me again what my mom said.

MR. ELIJAH: She said to go to your Uncle Thumper’s house.

D.B.: That makes a lot more sense.

MR. ELIJAH: I imagine it does.

D.B.: Is that all, Mr. Elijah?

MR. ELIJAH: That’s it, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Elijah.

MR. ELIJAH: Bye, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Carotene 200. (exits)

Looking for a Sleight Advantage

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:13-21, Mark 6:31-34, Luke 9:10-17, John 6:5-15

A lesson about the Bread of Life.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
none

(MR. MATT begins on stage.)

DILLY: Mr. Matt!

MR. MATT: Hi, Dilly. How’s it going?

DILLY: I’m as frazzled as a handful of Twizzlers.

MR. MATT: What’s the matter?

DILLY: I’m having a little luncheon at my house today, and I have been working around the cluck to get it ready.

MR. MATT: Do you need some help setting up?

DILLY: I have some help. Flora is helping, and that’s the problem.

MR. MATT: Why is Flora the problem?

DILLY: Don’t get me wrong, Flora is an outstanding worker, but she is a softy, bless her heart.

MR. MATT: What’s wrong with that?

DILLY: In this case, she felt bad that some had not been invited to my luncheon and proceeded to invite them.

MR. MATT: That was nice of her.

DILLY: But she did not consider that some of them are the hoi polloi, and I had chosen not to invite them.

MR. MATT: Anyway, what do you need me for?

DILLY: Well, we are sorely lacking in victuals, so I was hoping you could show me that trick that Jesus did.

MR. MATT: What trick are you talking about?

DILLY: Y’all know that one. When he fed the 5000 folks that bitty bit of fish and bread. Knowing that would be as useful as a shirt pocket.

MR. MATT: That wasn’t a trick; that was a miracle.

DILLY: I’ll say. And it’ll take a miracle to pull off this luncheon after what Flora did.

MR. MATT: No, I mean it wasn’t a sleight of hand. Jesus performed a miracle when He fed the 5000 with five loaves and two fish.

DILLY: That’s what I’m getting at. How can I do that? And does it work with feed corn?

MR. MATT: He didn’t pull more food out of His sleeve or from behind someone’s ear. Jesus created the food.

DILLY: Well, I can’t do that!

MR. MATT: Exactly. Jesus is God and, despite what you may think, you aren’t.

DILLY: Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud! I get it now! How excitin’! We can make do with the food we have or have potluck or figure something out. I now have the most scintillating topic of discussion for our luncheon. I must find Flora and share the news. (exits)

MR. MATT: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

The Bible Is Our Standard

Supplies: paper, pencils/pens, scissors, Bible

Verse(s): Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-13, Proverbs 20:10

Goal: Today we studied Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan. Not only did Jesus use Scriptures as a shield against Satan's temptation, he used them as a standard to measure the devil's words. This was especially true when the devil (mis)quoted scripture.

Set-up/Introduction: Have the kids trace one of their feet on a piece of paper and cut it out. Depending on the number of kids, this could be done individually or in groups.

Activity: Have each person or group measure the length of the room with the foot they cut out and record their findings. (The teacher might want to do this also to provide a bigger contrast.)

Ask why the differences in measurements? Did we all measure in feet?

This is how people use to measure: A foot was a man's foot, hands for measuring horses, a span was the width of a man's outstretched hand, a cubit (Latin for "elbow") was the distance from the elbow to the finger tips, and yard is the distance from the fingers to the nose or the waist measurement of a man. Obviously, these are going to vary from person to person.

"It finally occurred to people to establish a 'standard yard' and never mind what your own measurements are. According to tradition, a standard yard was originally adjusted to the length of the fingertips of King Henry I of England to his nose. (And the standard foot is suppose to be based on the foot of Charlemagne.)
"Naturally, the King of England can't travel from village to village measuring out lengths of cloth from his nose to his fingertips. Instead a stick is held up against him and marks are made at this nose and his fingertips. The distance between the marks is a standard yard."

In Washington they have the Bureau of Standards. They have weights and measuring sticks that represent the standard for knowing what a pound, a foot, etc. are. These are kept in a special climate-controlled environment to keep them from changing. A true standard had to be unchanging and based on something reliable.

As you can see it is important to have a standard or an authority we all use for measuring. Without a standard we don't get the same answer, and none of us got the right answer. In fact Proverbs 20:10 says, "Differing weights and differing measures- the Lord detests them both."

Conclusion: The same is true for our faith. When it is based on ourselves or others, it is going to be constantly changing. It has to based on something permanent and eternal, or we don't have a standard.

The standard cannot be "the man in the mirror" or our feelings any more that the standard for measuring a yard is the distance from each person's nose to his fingertips. The standard must be objective and universal.

The first definition of authority seems to be a pretty good one: a citation (as from a book or file) used in defense or support. An example would be that I use the Bible as an authority. If I hear or read something, I test it against what the Bible says. If it is in agreement, I believe it. If it is not, I do not. The Bible is the standard against which I test ideas. That standard we use as Christians is the Word of God as revealed through the Bible.

Jesus tells the story of the wise man who built his house on the rock and the foolish man who built his house on shifting sand. I fear you are building your house on shifting sand. The only solid ground we have is God, "our Rock and our Redeemer", and the Bible is His love letter to us telling us all we need to live and know Him.

Source: Some facts were taken from Asimov on Numbers by Isaac Asimov

The Devil’s Vegetable

Scripture Reference: Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-13

A lesson about temptation and God’s way.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE begins on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: (enters yelling and waving arms in a Taz-like fashion)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie?

OZZIE: (continues)

MR. MIKE: OZZIE!

OZZIE: Oh. Hi, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: What on Earth are you doing?

OZZIE: I’m just standing here talking to you.

MR. MIKE: No, what was with all the yelling and flailing?

OZZIE: Oh, that. The devil was trying to tempt me, so I was trying to scare him off.

MR. MIKE: That’s certainly a unique method.

OZZIE: I hope it works better than the other things I’ve tried.

MR. MIKE: Like what?

OZZIE: Running really fast, standing really still, wearing camouflage, hiding in the closet, turning the radio up real loud, eating chocolate, pulling the covers over my head, eating chocolate…

MR. MIKE: You said eating chocolate twice.

OZZIE: I really like eating chocolate. I’ve tried bug spray, a fire extinguisher, deodorant, Brussels sprouts…

MR. MIKE: Brussels sprouts?

OZZIE: Yeah, I hate Brussels sprouts. I thought the devil might hate them too, and they’d scare him off.

MR. MIKE: And did that work?

OZZIE: Not so much. (stage whisper) I think the devil likes Brussels Sprouts.

MR. MIKE: Did any of those things work?

OZZIE: Not really, but I have this idea for a catapult.

MR. MIKE: I think you’re going about this all wrong.

OZZIE: So I should just give in to the temptation?

MR. MIKE: That’s not what I meant.

OZZIE: When the little devil and the little angel come sit on my shoulders, I should just flick the little angel away and do what the little devil tell me to do?

MR. MIKE: Not at all. You should always resist the devil. It’s your ammunition that’s all wrong.

OZZIE: But I’m too young to buy bullets.

MR. MIKE: No, I mean you need to use your Bible.

OZZIE: Ah! Like one of those really big King James Bibles. I can just whack him upside his head.

MR. MIKE: No, Ozzie! I mean you can hide God’s Word in your heart. When you know what the Bible says and practice your memory verses, you have what you need to tell right from wrong and the truth from a lie.

OZZIE: Oh. Is that why you have a memory verse every week?

MR. MIKE: Exactly.

OZZIE: Well, then I better get going.

MR. MIKE: To work on your memory verse?

OZZIE: No. I built a giant mousetrap to catch the devil, and I used my pet worm Squiggly for bait. (exits)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord

Scripture Reference: Matthew 3:1-17, Mark 1:9-11, Luke 3:21-23

A lesson about preparing the way.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE begins on stage when DILLY enters.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Mike?

MR. MIKE: If I was doing any better, I couldn’t stand it. How are you this fine day?

DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair, but I am plumb tuckered out.

MR. MIKE: Why are you so tired, Dilly?

DILLY: I’ve been busy cleaning my house. I’ve washed the dishes, shined the windows, dusted the furniture, and done the laundry.

MR. MIKE: That’s great, Dilly, but…

DILLY: I even emptied the lint filter. Ya know, I think that’s were all the lost socks go. They just shredded into itty bits and go in the filter.

MR. MIKE: It could be, but…

DILLY: I polished the silver, made the bed, set the table, and swept the chimney.

MR. MIKE: But why…

DILLY: I emptied the dishwasher, filled the dog bowl, and cleared cache.

MR. MIKE: (gives up on trying to ask why)

DILLY: I’ve swept the stoop and vacuumed the coop. I’ve mopped the bath and mowed a path. I’ve beat the rug, scoured the jug, stomped a bug, and scrubbed the tub.

MR. MIKE: (silent)

DILLY: Well, you been quieter than a mouse walkin’ on cotton. Ain’t you got nuthin’ to say?

MR. MIKE: I was just waiting for you to take a breath.

DILLY: Of all the impertinence. (takes a very loud breath) There! I have breathed! Speak!

MR. MIKE: I was just wondering what the occasion was for all the cleaning?

DILLY: (happy to be talking about herself again) Last Sunday, the preacher exhorted us to prepare the way for the Lord. Well, I certainly don’t want the Lord coming to a dirty house.

MR. MIKE: I don’t think that’s what he meant. I think he meant you need to prepare yourself.

DILLY: Oh my lands. I am sure I am quite a sight after all that cleaning. I’ll need to get my feathers done and my Sunday go-to-meeting clothes laundered and…

MR. MIKE: Not your outside. You need to prepare your inside.

DILLY: Well, if I am going to prepare my inside, I will most certainly need to increase my fiber.

MR. MIKE: Not prepare that way. Prepare by praying and spending time in God’s Word. If you make yourself available and are obedient to God, he will use you to prepare the way for others to be saved.

DILLY: Well, butter my biscuit! Is that what the preacher meant?

MR. MIKE: I believe that’s what the fellow meant.

DILLY: (growing excitement) Then I best get a move on if the Lord is counting on me for such an important job. Where’s my Bible? Where is my Bible? No, I better pray first. But where is my Bible? Oh, and I better tell Flora, cause she’s cleaning her house as we speak. (exits)

MR. MIKE: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Little Monsters

Scripture Reference: Mark 10:13-16

A lesson in the importance of children’s ministry.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
CHRIS – the worship leader who sets him straight

Props:
None

(Note: Our pastor was out yesterday, and I was asked to deliver the message and share my heart about children's ministry. I started with this puppet skit.)

(CHRIS is on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: Hey, Mr. Chris.

CHRIS: Hi, Ozzie.

OZZIE: (noticing the sanctuary) Wow! This is a swell place you have here, Mr. Chris. It’s enormous.

CHRIS: (amused) This isn’t my place. This is the sanctuary. Haven’t you been in here before?

OZZIE: No. When I visit your church, I just go to the children’s church room with Mr. Jeff and Mr. Mike and Mr. Matt and… Hey, there’s Miss Rebecca. Hi, Miss Rebecca! (give her a chance to respond and possibly some interaction)And there’s Miss Starr all the way back there. Hi, Miss Starr! (give her a chance to respond and possibly some interaction)

CHRIS: So do you like it in here?

OZZIE: Yeah! It’s sweet! And you sure sing better than Mr. Jeff.

JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can hear you.

OZZIE: (looks down then shrugs) And when I go to monster church, they never let the little monsters go in the sanctuary.

CHRIS: Why not?

OZZIE: They say we’re too little and we can go in when we get bigger.

CHRIS: But don’t you have grown-ups who come back to your classroom?

OZZIE: They really don’t like being back there.

CHRIS: Why’s that?

OZZIE: Would you want to be in a room full of little monsters?

CHRIS: I see your point, but you have some grown-ups who help, don’t you?

OZZIE: Oh, sure. And we have lots of fun.

CHRIS: Like what?

OZZIE: We sing songs.

CHRIS: Bible songs?

OZZIE: No. But we have stories.

CHRIS: Bible stories?

OZZIE: No. We do memorize verses.

CHRIS: Bible verses?

OZZIE: No.

CHRIS: Do you use the Bible at all?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah! We use one to prop up one end of our big screen TV.

CHRIS: Big screen TV?

OZZIE: Yeah! This morning we started watching Braveheart. Our teachers say that it has great spiritual significance.

CHRIS: Doesn’t anyone actually read the Bible?

OZZIE: Oh, no. The teachers say they have a hard time understanding all of the Bible, so there’s no way we kids could ever understand it.

CHRIS: But don’t the teachers here read the Bible when you visit?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah. And they memorize verses.

CHRIS: Bible verses?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they have stories.

CHRIS: Bible stories?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they sing songs.

CHRIS: Bible songs?

OZZIE: Yeah. But they do have to listen to Mr. Jeff sing them.

JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can still hear you.

OZZIE: (looks down then back at Chris) So kids really can learn stuff from the Bible?

CHRIS: They sure can.

OZZIE: I think I’m gonna talk to my teachers about using the Bible more.

CHRIS: That’s a great idea, Ozzie.

OZZIE: But I think I’m gonna wait a week before I tell them.

CHRIS: Why wait?

OZZIE: Because I want to see how Braveheart ends. (exits)

CHRIS: Ozzie!

The Charlie McCarthy Home for Retired Puppets

Scripture Reference: Numbers 13-14, Mark 13:11

A lesson in trusting God.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

D.B.: (looking back over his shoulder, out of breath, agitated) Phew! I think I got away!

MR. MIKE: D.B., what's the matter? Where have you been?

D.B.: I went to The Charlie McCarthy Home for Retired Puppets this morning…

MR. MIKE: The Charlie McCarthy Home for Retired Puppets?

D.B.: You know. Where puppets go when they get old. I went there to spread some Valentine cheer. You know what they say: You are no bunny until some bunny loves you.

MR. MIKE: And I guess you are that bunny. You are kinda like the Valentine Bunny.

D.B.: Mr. Mike! There is no Valentine Bunny.

MR. MIKE: I know. I was just…

D.B.: It is the Easter Bunny.

MR. MIKE: I realize that, but…

D.B.: There is no cute furry animal for Valentine's Day.

MR. MIKE: It was just a little joke. (holds up thumb and forefinger apart about an inch to indicate a small amount)

D.B.: Jokes that small should not be our on their own.

MR. MIKE: I guess not. So why are you so upset?

D.B.: (becoming agitated again) It was a terrifying experience. The place was full of giants.

MR. MIKE: Giants?!? (glaring)

D.B.: They were huge and… They were so big that… I felt like I was a teeny weeny little… No, there were no giants.

MR. MIKE: I didn't think so.

D.B.: But it was still scary.

MR. MIKE: How was it so scary?

D.B.: They were all… worn. They had bare patches in their fur. Their stuffing was not all where it is suppose to be. And…

MR. MIKE: And?

D.B.: (quietly) And they smelled kind of funny.

MR. MIKE: D.B.!!

D.B.: Well, they did. They smelled like mothballs.

MR. MIKE: That's no reason to be scared. They've had a long life and have earned of those worn patches.

D.B.: I suppose.

MR. MIKE: And they probably feel a little lonely in the, the…

D.B.: The Charlie McCarthy Home for Retired Puppets.

MR. MIKE: Exactly. If God has called you to serve there, you have to trust him that you will be okay.

D.B.: But what will I say to them? Can I ask them what it was like to around when there were dinosaurs?

MR. MIKE: They aren't that old!

D.B.: Oh.

MR. MIKE: Just talk to them. Say hi. Ask them how they are doing.

D.B.: And tell them that Jesus loves them?

MR. MIKE: Exactly. And they might just like to have someone listen to them. Can you do that, D.B.?

D.B.: Of course I can. I have big bunny ears which are great for listening.

MR. MIKE: So are you ready to give it another try?

D.B.: I sure am. I am going there now.

MR. MIKE: Just trust God to take care of things.

D.B.: I will. Bye, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Bye, D.B.

Jesus Heals a Paralytic

Scripture Reference: Luke 5:17-26 (also Matthew 9:1-8, Mark 2:1-12)

A skit about the forgiveness of sins, healing, ministry, leading others to Christ.

Cast:
Friend - One of the friends of the paralytic

Props:
none

My buddies and I all believed in God. We went to the Synagogue each week, we said our daily prayers, and studied the Scriptures. But I don’t think I really knew God until that day.

We had all heard about the Preacher who was teaching about God’s love and was healing the sick & lame. We also know He’d caused quite a stir among the leaders of the Temple. We went to Jesus one day. See one of our buddies was paralyzed, and we want to see if Jesus could heal him. Since he couldn’t walk, we lifted up his mat and carried him there. But when we got there, we found a huge crowd trying to get to Him. Jesus was in a house, and there was no way to push through the crowd and get to Him. We were determined to get our buddy to Jesus, so we set him down and thought. We finally hit upon the idea of lowering him through the roof. You see, our houses were built with flat roofs, so people could go up on the roof on hot nights to cool off. We went up the outside stairs and dug a hole in the roof, removing the tiles. We then lowered him through the hole in the roof right in the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. I think we surprised everyone.

I guess we impressed Jesus, because He turned to our buddy and said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” His sins are forgiven?!? What a strange thing to say! We brought our buddy, so he could be healed and walk again.

Then, almost like he could read their minds, Jesus turned to the leaders of the Temple and said, “Why do you have such evil thoughts? Do you really think that I speak blasphemy? Which is easier to say: ‘Your sins are forgiven’ or to say ‘Get up and walk’? But so that you know that I have the authority to forgive sins....” Then he turned to our buddy and said, “Get up, take your mat, and go home.” Then he got up! Our buddy got up, picked up his mat, and went home praising God. We all praised God and sang hymns all the way home. We saw something remarkable that day!

I have thought about that day so many times. I have wondered why Jesus first said our buddy’s sins were forgiven, and this is what I think: His healing people was good – very good – and it showed He had authority that no one else had. But that wasn’t the main thing. The main thing is that He cam to forgive sins. By comparison, healing our buddy was easy and less important. Don’t get me wrong, seeing our buddy walk was a great thing! But it has no eternal value, because some day his body will be in the grave, where no one walks. Forgiveness of sins is forever, because it lets us spend eternity with God. And that was the truly remarkable thing that happened that day!

To Tell the Truth

Scripture Reference: John 6:68, John 13:37-38, John 18:1-27, Mark 16:6-7, John 21:1- 19, Acts 2:37-42

The story of Simon Peter told game-show style.

[Note: This one takes a bit of explaining. The story of Peter is told in the format of the To Tell the Truth game show. The format of the show will likely need to be explained to the kids before starting the skit. The way I have used this is to get three adults to play the Peters. Don't let them know in advance – that is part of the fun. I then give the kids the questions to ask them. This skit is good for Easter time or as a review.]

Cast:
HOST – the only one who really knows what is going on.
PETER 1, PETER 2, PETER 3 – "volunteers" to play the real Peter and two imposters.
PANELISTS – ask questions of the Peters.

Props:
Scripts for Peters
Cards or slips of paper with questions

HOST: Welcome to To Tell the Truth. Will our contestants please introduce themselves.

PETER 1: My name is Simon Peter.
PETER 2: My name is Simon Peter.
PETER 3: My name is Simon Peter.

HOST: Here is his story: My name is Simon son of Jonah, and I am a disciple of Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus called me Peter, the rock, even though I didn’t always act that way. After Jesus was arrested, I denied him three times, just as he predicted, but he forgave one morning by the Sea of Tiberias. On the day of Pentecost, I was filled with the Holy Sprit and became a leader in the early church.
Panelists, it is your job to ask the questions provided and determine which is the real Simon Peter.

Question 1
Peter, when Jesus asked you if you wanted to stop following Him, you said no. In John 6:68, what reason did you give him?

PETER 1: I told Him, “I think you are a really great guy.”
PETER 2: I told Him, “You have the words of eternal life.”
PETER 3: I told Him, “I am really hungry.”

Question 2
In the same conversation, you also declared that you had come to believe and know something about Jesus. What was that?

PETER 1: That Jesus really is a great guy.
PETER 2: That Jesus is the One whom God promised to send and that He is God’s Son.
PETER 3: That it was Jesus’ turn to pick a restaurant for lunch.

Question 3
In John 13:37, you stated your commitment to Jesus. What did you tell Jesus you would do?

PETER 1: I said, “I will clean my room for you.”
PETER 2: I said, “I will lay down my life for you."
PETER 3: I said, “I will pick a restaurant for Him.”

Question 4
You said in John 13:38 that you were prepared to die for Jesus. What did Jesus say to you? How did you feel when Jesus responded as He did? Why did you think He said this?

PETER 1: He said, “Are you prepared to die for Me.” I felt scared. I mean die? Yikes! That’s awfully permanent.
PETER 2: He said, "Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!” I was really surprised and hurt by his statement, but He said it because he REALLY knows me.
PETER 3: He said, “Just don’t pick McDonalds for lunch.” I was glad He said that. I think He was tired of hamburgers, too.

Question 5
Not long after this, you were reported to be with Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. In John 18:1-11, we read that you tried to protect Jesus when soldiers came to arrest Him. What did you do? How did Jesus feel about what you did?

PETER 1: I ran away and wrote a nasty editorial to the Jerusalem Times.
PETER 2: I had a sword, drew it, and struck the high priest's servant, cutting off his right ear. Jesus commanded me, "Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"
PETER 3: We had gone to Taco Bell, and I held His taco from him. I think He appreciated it.

Question 6
We’re curious about what happened at the high priest’s house. We understand from John 18:15-17 that John went inside but you were stopped at the door. What happened?

PETER 1: John was smaller than I am, so he just slipped by.
PETER 2: John was known by high priest; I wasn’t. John got me in.
PETER 3: Food wasn’t allowed in the high priest’s house, so I had to finish my burrito before I went in.

Question 7
According to John 18:18 & 25, you had another chance to tell people that Jesus was your friend. What did you do?

PETER 1: I told them He is a really great guy.
PETER 2: I am sorry to say that I denied knowing Jesus.
PETER 3: I told them that I had just seen him at What-a-burger a couple of times.

Question 8
It’s reported in John 18:26-27 that yet another servant, a relative of the very man whose ear you had cut off, recognized you! He asked, “Didn’t I see you with Him?” What did you say? What happened then?

PETER 1: I said, “I think that was my evil twin. Yea, that’s the ticket.”
PETER 2: Again I denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow. I was so upset that I started to weep.
PETER 3: I said, “Yea that was me. Did you see what I did with Jesus’ taco?”

Question 9
When you first heard that Jesus was dead, how did you feel? In Mark 16:6-7 it says that when Jesus rose, the angel told the women to tell you specifically that He would meet you in Galilee. How did you feel then? What did you see in the empty tomb? How did it make you feel?

PETER 1: I was really bummed when I heard that Jesus was dead. The empty tomb was kind of creepy, but I was really happy to hear that He was alive again.
PETER 2: I was very upset and scared when I heard Jesus was dead. I wasn’t sure what to think when I heard when He was alive. I ran to the tomb and could see for myself that it was empty. I got so excited that I ran back to the other disciples to tell them what I saw.
PETER 3: I was so upset that I couldn’t even eat. When I found out He was okay, I went to IHOP for a Rutti-Tutti Fresh N' Fruity breakfast.

Question 10
We understand from reading John 21:1-19 that Jesus met you by the lake in Galilee. After your breakfast with Him, He asked you some specific questions. What did Jesus ask? What did you answer? What do you think Jesus meant for you to do? What would you say about Jesus’ forgiveness?

PETER 1: He asked if I had cleaned my room like I said I would. I changed the subject. I hope he forgives me that my room is still a mess.
PETER 2: He asked me three times if I loved Him. I told Him of course I do. It kind of hurt my feelings that He kept asking. Then I realized that I denied Him three times, so He was asking me three times. It felt good to know that Jesus was giving me a second chance.
PETER 3: He asked if I was going to finish my fish. I said no, because fish for breakfast is gross. I told Him to help Himself.

Question11
After God sent the Holy Spirit, we read in Acts 2:37-42 that there was quite a change in you! Tell us what happened that day.

PETER 1: I cleaned my room, and I have kept it clean ever since.
PETER 2: I preached a sermon that I could not have done on my own, and about three thousand people were saved that day.
PETER 3: I went to the pizza buffet at Pizza Hut and ate more than I ever had before. They could hardly make the pizzas fast enough.

HOST: Now it is time to vote on whom you think is the real Simon Peter.
(Have the PANELISTS vote on which is the real Simon Peter.)
Will the real Simon Peter please stand up.
(All will pretend to stand up, but PETER 2 will finally stand up.)