The Failure to Communicate Blues

Scripture Reference: Proverbs 18:13

A blues song about listening before we speak.

Cast:
FAT DADDY THORNTON – an old blues singer (this name can be changed to match the person doing the character)
MESSENGER – who whispers in his ear

Costume:
Something to evoke Fats Waller, Muddy Waters, or John Lee Hooker.

Props:
I use a kazoo, but a guitar, harmonica, etc. could be used for the blues chords. Could also use an accompanist.

(FAT DADDY THORNTON enters and sits down.)

FAT DADDY THORNTON: Hello, chillen. My name is Fat Daddy Thornton, and it is so good to be back with ya this evenin'. I wanna sing ya a song about a buddy of mine, and it goes exactly like this:

(wa waaa waa wa) My buddy said he'd be callin'
(wa waaa waa wa) I bet he's got some news
(wa waaa waa wa) But now I think he be stallin'
And he's givin' me the blues.

What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues

(wa waaa waa wa) What if he don't like my hat?
(wa waaa waa wa) Or what if hates my shoes?
(wa waaa waa wa) He could make fun of this or that
And really give me the blues.

What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues

(wa waaa waa wa) What if he disses my singin'?
(wa waaa waa wa) Or has a thing against kazoos?
(wa waaa waa wa) Then his neck I'll be wringin'
For givin' me the blues.

What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues

(wa waaa waa wa) What if he attacks me
(wa waaa waa wa) With a mob of kangaroos?
(wa waaa waa wa) And if the big one smacks me
Then I'll have the black & blues.

What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues

(wa waaa waa wa) What if he's a pi-rate?
(wa waaa waa wa) And lights his cannon fuse?
(wa waaa waa wa) Then in glee he'll gyrate
While I get the blues.

What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues

(wa waaa waa wa) What if he's an alien?
(wa waaa waa wa) Who turns my brains to ooze?
(wa waaa waa wa) He's prob'ly not even mammalian
Oh, baby, I got the blues.

What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues

[MESSENGER enters and whispers in FAT DADDY's ear. FAT DADDY nods] What? Uh-huh. Really? Okay.

(wa waaa waa wa) My buddy's on the telephone
(wa waaa waa wa) Asking what movie I choose
(wa waaa waa wa) I guess I shoulda known
And avoided these blues.

What we have here is
The conclusion-jumpin', problem-bumpin'
Failure to Communicate Blues
(wa wawawawawawawa)

Thank you very much, everybody.
(FAT DADDY THORNTON exits to thunderous applause.)