Scripture Reference: 2 Samuel 6
A skit that demonstrates that we should worship with all our heart.
Cast:
Pam - Worship Leader
Jeff - Person who doesn’t know how to worship
Props:
none
(During the first worship song, Jeff becomes less and less involved with the song.)
Pam: (looking at Jeff, who ignores her) I want to see everyone singing this next song.
(During the next song, Jeff completely stops singing and sits down.)
Pam: Jeff, what are you doing?
Jeff: What? I’m singing. Didn’t you see my mouth moving?
Pam: Praising God is more than just moving your lips. It is thanking God for being our Provider. It is thanking him with your whole heart.
Jeff: Yeah, but it’s kind of embarrassing. I mean, singing in front of people. What if they hear my voice? I don’t always hit all the right notes. And moving around? I am not the most graceful guy. I could trip over a cordless phone.
Pam: You’re not suppose to be singing for any of these people.
Jeff: There’s no one else here.
Pam: You’re suppose to be singing for God.
Jeff: Oh, yeah. But singing and dancing around is kind of… (whispering) girly.
Pam: What about a football player who dances around after making a touchdown?
Jeff: Okay, but it’s kind of undignified to do it in church. Aren’t you suppose to be quiet in church?
Pam: Yes, there are times when we need to be quiet. We don’t want people up dancing around while Pastor Ty is preaching, but there is a time to celebrate God.
Jeff: Yeah, but....
Pam: What if I told you that I know a famous warrior who danced for God?
Jeff: Who?!?
Pam: David.
Jeff: David? The David? King David? David-and-Goliath David?
Pam: Yes. In 1 Samuel there is a story about the Ark of the Covenant being stolen by the Philistines and placed in a tent with an idol.
Jeff: Kelly Clarkson?
Pam: What?!?
Jeff: You said it was placed in a tent with an idol. Was it Clay Aiken?
Pam: Not an American Idol! A statue of their god Dagon. When they came in the next morning, Dagon was lying on the ground.
Jeff: I guess it wasn’t a very idle idol.
Pam: They put it back in place, and the next morning, it was on the ground with its arms and legs broken off.
Jeff: Talk about it costing an arm and a leg.
Pam: Right.
Jeff: I guess it didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Pam: Any more?
Jeff: One more: Did anyone give him a leg up?
Pam: Are you done now?
Jeff: Um.... Yes.
Pam: Thank you. So the Philistines send word to David to come get the Ark, because Israel’s God was more powerful that Dagon.
Jeff: Sweet.
Pam: David led thirty thousand men to get the Ark. The all danced and sang and played instruments all the way back.
Jeff: That’s bigger than Mardi Gras!
Pam: King David took off his kingly robes and celebrated with everyone else.
Jeff: He was naked?!?
Pam: No, he was dressed like everyone else, because he wanted to be just part of the parade. It was about God; not him.
Jeff: The people probably all loved that.
Pam: Well, not everyone did. His wife Michal thought it was vulgar and undignified. Because of her attitude, God cursed her.
Jeff: Ouch!
Pam: David, on the other hand, humbled himself. He didn’t praise God to impress anyone or to show how spiritual he was. He wanted to celebrate God’s provision. 2 Samuel 6:14 says that David “danced before the Lord with all his might.”
Jeff: And the Bible says that David was a man after God’s heart. I guess this was part of the reason why.
Pam: You got it.
Jeff: Okay, if David can do it, so can I. Let’s praise God!
(During the next song, Jeff sings whole-heartedly – maybe even dances.)
Scripture Reference: Proverbs 18:13
A blues song about listening before we speak.
Cast:
FAT DADDY THORNTON – an old blues singer (this name can be changed to match the person doing the character)
MESSENGER – who whispers in his ear
Costume:
Something to evoke Fats Waller, Muddy Waters, or John Lee Hooker.
Props:
I use a kazoo, but a guitar, harmonica, etc. could be used for the blues chords. Could also use an accompanist.
(FAT DADDY THORNTON enters and sits down.)
FAT DADDY THORNTON: Hello, chillen. My name is Fat Daddy Thornton, and it is so good to be back with ya this evenin'. I wanna sing ya a song about a buddy of mine, and it goes exactly like this:
(wa waaa waa wa) My buddy said he'd be callin'
(wa waaa waa wa) I bet he's got some news
(wa waaa waa wa) But now I think he be stallin'
And he's givin' me the blues.
What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues
(wa waaa waa wa) What if he don't like my hat?
(wa waaa waa wa) Or what if hates my shoes?
(wa waaa waa wa) He could make fun of this or that
And really give me the blues.
What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues
(wa waaa waa wa) What if he disses my singin'?
(wa waaa waa wa) Or has a thing against kazoos?
(wa waaa waa wa) Then his neck I'll be wringin'
For givin' me the blues.
What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues
(wa waaa waa wa) What if he attacks me
(wa waaa waa wa) With a mob of kangaroos?
(wa waaa waa wa) And if the big one smacks me
Then I'll have the black & blues.
What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues
(wa waaa waa wa) What if he's a pi-rate?
(wa waaa waa wa) And lights his cannon fuse?
(wa waaa waa wa) Then in glee he'll gyrate
While I get the blues.
What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues
(wa waaa waa wa) What if he's an alien?
(wa waaa waa wa) Who turns my brains to ooze?
(wa waaa waa wa) He's prob'ly not even mammalian
Oh, baby, I got the blues.
What we have here is
The Failure to Communicate Blues
[MESSENGER enters and whispers in FAT DADDY's ear. FAT DADDY nods] What? Uh-huh. Really? Okay.
(wa waaa waa wa) My buddy's on the telephone
(wa waaa waa wa) Asking what movie I choose
(wa waaa waa wa) I guess I shoulda known
And avoided these blues.
What we have here is
The conclusion-jumpin', problem-bumpin'
Failure to Communicate Blues
(wa wawawawawawawa)
Thank you very much, everybody.
(FAT DADDY THORNTON exits to thunderous applause.)
Scripture Reference: Matthew 7:1-6
A blues song about not judging others.
Cast:
FAT DADDY THORNTON – an old blues singer (this name can be changed to match the person doing the character)
[Blues Name Generator The Blues Name Generator]
Costume:
Something to evoke Fats Waller, Muddy Waters, or John Lee Hooker.
Props:
A guitar, harmonica, etc. for the blues chords. Could also use an accompanist. I use a kazoo.
(FAT DADDY THORNTON enters and sits down.)
FAT DADDY THORNTON: Hello, chillen. My name is Fat Daddy Thornton, and I've been singing the blues since before any of you was born. If fact, I think I have underwear old than you.
This evening, I will be accompanying myself on the traditional blues kazoo. I'd like to do my latest song for y'all; I wrote while I was walking over to the chair: It is about one of the darkest, most tragic times of my life. It is about an event that plunged me into the depths of despair and misery. I hope you enjoy it:
(wa waaa waa wa) Woke up this mo'nin'
(wa waaa waa wa) Thought I would die
(wa waaa waa wa) Started moaning and groaning
Got a speck in my eye
I got those speck in my eye
Think I'm gonna cry-y-y blues.
(I tell ya, it hurts much too much.)
(wa waaa waa wa) Got me some Visine
(wa waaa waa wa) I sprayed and I sprayed
(wa waaa waa wa) Despite my ocular hygiene
That speck just stayed and it stayed
I got those speck in my eye
Ain't there nothin' else I can buy-uy-uy blues.
(I'm in need of some serious help.)
(wa waaa waa wa) I saw my buddy
(wa waaa waa wa) My buddy Frank
(wa waaa waa wa) He said he would help me
But in his eye was a plank
I got those speck in the eye
Why me, oh why-y-y blues.
(I'm fadin' fast, baby.)
(wa waaa waa wa) He said he would snatch it
(wa waaa waa wa) Never mind the board
(wa waaa waa wa) He was a-grabbin' and a-scratchin'
Oh help me, Lord
I got those speck in the eye
Please send some other guy-uy-uy blues.
(Oh please, Lord, send someone else.)
(wa waaa waa wa) I grabbed his neck
(wa waaa waa wa) As I started to groan
(wa waaa waa wa) You can't take out my speck
When you gotta plank of your own
I got those speck in the eye
Least I don't have a plank in mi-i-ine blues.
(Oh yeah, you gotta get rid of that log.)
(wa waaa waa wa) So this is the moral
(wa waaa waa wa) Of my story today
(wa waaa waa wa) You see, that door'll
Hit you when you go away.
Cause you got those plank in your eye
You gotta fly-y-y blues.
(I'm outta here, baby. Thank you very much.)
(wa wawawawawawawa)
(FAT DADDY THORNTON exits to thunderous applause.)
Scripture Reference: Proverbs 25:21-22, Romans 12:17-21, Matthew 5:43-48
A puppet skit showing we should return kindness for unkindness.
Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MAX – a bully baboon
Props:
glass or bottle of water
bananaProverb posted somewhere
(Opens with D.B. on stage.)
D.B.: (imitating Elvis) It's just a heap o', a heap o' burning coals.
MAX: What is that terrible sound? Is there some poor animal that has been injured? Oh, it's D.B. singing. What are you doing, runt?
D.B.: I am practicing my memory verse, Max. Proverbs 25:21-22: If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.
MAX: That is the second stupidest thing I've ever seen.
D.B.: What is the stupidest?
MAX: You. (laughs hysterically)
D.B.: That was not very nice.
MAX: Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, you know why a rabbit’s nose is always shiny?
D.B.: Why?
MAX: Because it’s powder puff is on the wrong end! (laughs) Get it, runt? Your tail looks like a powder puff, so you can't powder your nose.
D.B.: I get it.
MAX: Of course with you (looks D.B. up and down) it is hard to tell one end from the other. (laughs) Get it, runt? It's because you're so ugly that your face looks like your backside.
D.B.: Would you like a banana, Max?
MAX: (confused) Sure, thanks. Hey, did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory?
D.B.: No.
MAX: All he did was stand around making faces. (laughs) Get it, runt? Watch faces. Oh, I see you're making faces, too. No, wait, that is your regular face. (laughs)
D.B.: Would you like a glass of water?
MAX: (more confused) Okay, I guess so. Do you know what you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower?
D.B.: What?
MAX: A hare dryer. (laughs) Get it, runt? Like a rabbit is a hare.
D.B.: That is clever.
MAX: Okay, what gives? This is my best material, and you ain't even getting' mad. Are you having a bad hare day? (laughs) Get it, runt?
D.B.: I get it. Go on.
MAX: Hmmm. What do you call a rabbit that sits on someone's forehead? Unsightly facial hare! (laughs) Get it, runt? Cause rabbits are so ugly, no one would want one on his face.
D.B.: I do not imagine that they would.
MAX: Why you bein' so nice? It's no fun if you don't get hopping mad. (laughs) Get it, runt? HOPPING mad.
D.B.: Would you like to play my new PlayStation, Max?
MAX: (screams and leaves quickly)
D.B.: (looks after Max then looks at memory verse) Wow! It worked. I offered him food and water, and it was like heaping burning coals on his head. Hey, and the Lord even rewarded me – Max left. (chuckles)
(exits imitating Elvis) It's just a heap o', a heap o' burning coals.
