Scripture Reference: Exodus 1:1-2:11
A skit about Moses and God's Provision.
Cast:GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MR. JUSTIN – the teacher who sets her straight
(MR. JUSTIN is on stage alone talking to the kids.)
MR. JUSTIN: Granny Grace is going to be here today. You know she's as old as Moses' toes and twice as corny.
GRANNY: (enters) Good morning, dears.
MR. JUSTIN: Oh! Good morning, Granny. Do you have a story for us today?
GRANNY: Oh, yes. It’s a lovely story about the little baby Moses.
MR. JUSTIN: Did you know Moses?
GRANNY: Oh my, young man, Moses was born about 3400 years ago. How old do you think I am?
MR. JUSTIN: Oh, well… I, um… It was… It was Sophie. Yeah, that's it. It was Sophie who said you're old as Moses' toes.
GRANNY: Sophie! I can’t believe it. Such a nice, quiet young lady being so disrespectful to her elder. (If Sophie or the other kids react, engage them but don't take too long.)
(to Sophie or Justin) Well, 40 lashes with a wet noodle for you.
MR. JUSTIN: Anyway, you were going to tell us a story about baby Moses.
GRANNY: Oh yes, dear. As you remember, Joseph brought his whole family to Egypt during the famine. Well, eventually Joseph died when he was 110. Many years passed, and a Pharaoh who didn't know Joseph reigned over Egypt. He was very worried that there were so many Israelites, so he made them slaves and made them do hard labor. But the king was still afraid, so he ordered the Egyptian midwives to kill all of the baby boys. They didn't do it. They told Pharaoh that the Hebrew women were strong and gave birth before the could get there. God blessed them for not killing the baby boys.
MR. JUSTIN: That was very nice of them.
GRANNY: Oh yes, dear. Very nice. But Pharaoh wasn't done. He ordered every baby boy to be thrown in the river and drowned.
MR. JUSTIN: That Pharaoh was one bad dude.
GRANNY: He was a very bad dude, indeed. Well, about this time little baby Moses was born. He was so adorable and cuddly that his mama hid him. After three months, he was just too noisy and couldn’t be hidden any longer. So his mama took him down to the river and suddenly a bull rushed them.
MR. JUSTIN: What?!? That doesn't sound right.
GRANNY: It's right there in the Bible, dear. It says there was an "ark of bulrushes." You know how a group of lions is called a pride, and a group of geese is a gaggle? Well, apparently a group of rushes from a bull is called an ark.
MR. JUSTIN: I don’t think…
GRANNY: I'm sure little baby Moses must have been terrified. I mean, to suddenly have a big old, mean bull rushing at you like that? I can just picture it: The bull saying, (snort, snort). And little baby Moses saying, "Waa! Waa!" It must have been horrifying.
MR. JUSTIN: Granny!
GRANNY: Yes, dear?
MR. JUSTIN: An ark is not a bunch of rushes by a bull.
GRANNY: It's not?
MR. JUSTIN: No, it's a chest or a basket.
GRANNY: Really? How did they get a bull in a basket?
MR. JUSTIN: There was no bull. The ark was made of bulrushes. Bulrushes are reeds or papyrus. Moses' mom coated it with tar and pitch to make it waterproof.
GRANNY: Well, wasn't that clever.
MR. JUSTIN: Yes, it was. Then Moses' mom sent him down the river, and his life was saved.
GRANNY: Well, that makes for a much nicer story.
MR. JUSTIN: Much nicer.
GRANNY: Well, I'm glad I could help. I'd better be going now. Remember, children, don't tweet just for the sake of tweeting and read your Bibles every day. Bye, dears. (exits)
Scripture Reference: Genesis 32:22-32
A lesson in struggle and blessing.
Cast:MR. JEFF – the larger, stronger storyteller
ABIGAIL – the tenacious albeit smaller student
(While reading the story below, MR. JEFF and ABIGAIL will be arm wrestling to illustrate God and Jacob wrestling.)
During the night Jacob rose and crossed the Jabbok River at the crossing, taking with him his two wives, his two slave girls, and his eleven sons. He sent his family and everything he had across the river. So Jacob was alone, and a man came and wrestled with him until the sun came up. When the man saw he could not defeat Jacob, he struck Jacob's hip and put it out of joint. (MR. JEFF touches ABIGAIL's hip [or shoulder], and her arm drops. But she does not let go!) Then he said to Jacob, "Let me go. The sun is coming up."
But Jacob said, "I will let you go if you will bless me."
The man said to him, "What is your name?"
And he answered, "Jacob."
Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob. Your name will now be Israel, because you have wrestled with God and with people, and you have won."
Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name."
But the man said, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed Jacob there. (ABIGAIL releases MR. JEFF.)
So Jacob named that place Peniel, saying, "I have seen God face to face, but my life was saved." Then the sun rose as he was leaving that place, and Jacob was limping because of his leg. So even today the people of Israel do not eat the muscle that is on the hip joint of animals, because Jacob was touched there.
Scripture Reference: Genesis 11:1-9
A lesson in humility.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
none
(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)
DILLY: How y'all doin', Miss Rebecca?
MISS REBECCA: Very well. How are you doing?
DILLY: I'm finer than frog hair.
MISS REBECCA: I hear you won a golf tournament.
DILLY: I'm so happy you brought that up, cher, because one should not brag on oneself. But please feel free to brag on me in my stead.
MISS REBECCA: Are you a good golfer?
DILLY: I'm fair to middlin'. I play to scratch.
MISS REBECCA: Really?
DILLY: No, of course not. I'm a wondrous golfer. I am undoubtedly the best chicken golfer in the country. (pause) The world. (pause) The universe. (pause) Ever. (pause) Forever and ever. But one should not brag on oneself.
MISS REBECCA: Are you really that good?!?
DILLY: Have you herd of Nancy Lopez and Babe Didrikson Zaharias?
MISS REBECCA: Yes, they're a couple of the best women golfers ever.
DILLY: I could beat 'em both with one wing tied behind my back. I won't even bring up those chumps Arnold Palmer or Jack Nicklaus, because one should not brag on oneself.
MISS REBECCA: You know, Dilly, for some who doesn't like to brag, you sure aren't very humble.
DILLY: What in the name of Col. Sanders are you talking about? I'm as humble as a toothless bumble.
MISS REBECCA: When you keep bragging about how great you are at golf, you're showing a lack of humility.
DILLY: I am great with humility.
MISS REBECCA: Dilly! You're even bragging about how humble you are.
DILLY: I'm just too humble to lie.
MISS REBECCA: Do you even listen to yourself?
DILLY: I try, but sometimes my mind wanders.
MISS REBECCA: You keep saying you don't like to brag on yourself, but you keep bragging on yourself about how great you are. And it’s not humble to boast about how humble you are.
DILLY: Well, paint me green and call me a pickle. I see what you mean. I've been prouder than a prize tomato. (getting more agitated) Oh my! My speech for the golf tournament banquet. I must go directly and change it, or I will look as foolish as a man chasing a hat. (exits quickly)
MISS REBECCA: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
