A lesson on the Armor of God.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
none
(MR. MATT starts on stage. OZZIE enters distracted & upset, mumbling to himself.)
MR. MATT: What’s the matter, Ozzie?
OZZIE: Oh. Hi, Mr. Matt. This is the worst day ever.
MR. MATT: That’s pretty bad. What happened?
OZZIE: As you may have heard, I’m trying to be a superhero.
MR. MATT: I heard about that.
OZZIE: Well, I’m trying to put on the full armor of God. Every week, I’ve come out here to show off some new piece of my armor. Each piece has been specially crafted and is quite creative and stylish, if I do say so myself.
MR. MATT: I’m sure it is, but so far, I don’t hear a problem.
OZZIE: The problem is that Mr. Mike and Miss Rebecca poopooed by armor.
MR. MATT: That doesn’t sound like them.
OZZIE: Well, they did. Mr. Mike said poo, and Miss Rebecca said poo. And that makes a poopoo. They said the armor was a metaphor or a symbol or some such silly thing.
MR. MATT: Oh, I see.
OZZIE: And that I don’t need to wear all my nifty armor. So now I’m a superhero without a name or a costume, and my friends won’t say ooh and aah, cause they don’t even know I’m supposed to be a superhero.
MR. MATT: But God’s armor is much better, because it helps you defend against evil and fight for God.
OZZIE: But it’s not as shiny as real armor.
MR. MATT: It’s not as shiny.
OZZIE: Then I’m finally ready to get the last piece of armor: (dramatically) THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT!
MR. MATT: The sword of the Spirit?
OZZIE: Not the sword of the Spirit. (dramatically) THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT!
MR. MATT: (dramatically) THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT!
OZZIE: Yeah. Don’t worry, Mr. Mike had the same problem. Anyway, I got my (dramatically) SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, and my mom makes me leave it at home. She says it’s too dangerous.
MR. MATT: You had a real sword?
OZZIE: Yeah.
MR. MATT: Really?
OZZIE: Well, it was a pointy stick, but it looked a lot like a real sword.
MR. MATT: I hate to tell you this, but you don’t need a real sword. Paul was just using…
OZZIE: Don’t say it!
MR. MATT: …a metaphor.
OZZIE: Oh, no! Not you too. Mr. Matt.
MR. MATT: Sorry, Ozzie, but I gotta call ‘em like I see ‘em.
OZZIE: But I thought you were so cool.
MR. MATT: I’m sorry if you don’t’ think I’m cool any more, but the sword of the spirit…
OZZIE: (clears throat)
MR. MATT: Sorry. (dramatically) THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT is the Word of God. It’s the Bible.
OZZIE: So wait. In this case, (dramatically) THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT is a real thing? It’s my Bible?
MR. MATT: That’s right.
OZZIE: Sweet! Then I do have my superhero costume: invisible armor and a sword, which is my Bible.
MR. MATT: I like it.
OZZIE: Thanks, Mr. Matt. I guess you’re cool, after all.
MR. MATT: Thanks. So what’s next?
OZZIE: I heard you’re studying the Fruit of the Spirit next.
MR. MATT: I believe we are.
OZZIE: Swell. ‘Cause I have a spiffy kiwi costume that would be just perfect. (exits)
MR. MATT: Ozzie!
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