FruitWow!

Scripture Reference: Galatians 5:22-23

A skit about the Fruit of the Spirit.

Cast:
PITCHMAN – trying to sell the Fruit of the Spirit, doesn't really get that he can't
SHILL – the PITCHMAN's assistant, doesn't think for him/herself
MARK – the PITCHMAN's intended victim, but he/she knows better
SECURITY – this could be one or two people, it could even be the SHILL

Props:
Large bottle labeled FruitWow!
a Bible
stack of papers/folders
ice cream carton (can be empty) & spoon
a vitamin or fruit snack – preferably in a character shape
Optionally, you could have a banner or sign or slide with a FruitWow! logo.
You could also dress like an infomercial pitchman.

(Opens with the PITCHMAN on stage trying to sell the product. The SHILL is standing behind a table ready to act out/demonstrate the PITCHMAN's pitch and feign enthusiasm for the product. The MARK is in the audience watching the demonstration.)

PITCHMAN: Has this ever happened to you? (dropping papers/folders on table in front of SHILL) It has been a long day at work, you're ready to head home, and your boss dumps a load of work on your desk. Could you use some love, joy, and peace? Would a boost of patience and kindness be useful right about now? Does this tax your goodness? You drive home in heavy traffic only to arrive to a houseful of screaming kids. (SHILL holds ears and spins head.) Who has time for faithfulness and gentleness? And forget about self-control! (SHILL picks up spoon and ice cream carton, looks at spoon, tosses spoon away, and dumps ice cream carton into mouth.)

You could read your Bible (SHILL looks a the Bible), but who has the time? (SHILL shrugs)

You could pray (SHILL folds hands and looks heavenward), but that's so hard. (SHILL grabs neck and winces as if in pain)

Now, there's an easier solution. It's FruitWow! (holds up bottle) Concentrated fruits of the Spirit in a bottle. Each pill holds 20 times its own weight in Holy Spirit. It does all the work. Why do you want to work twice as hard? It's made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff.No time-consuming Bible reading, no exhausting praying, no creams, no ointments. FruitWow! You will say "Wow!"

SHILL: Wow!

PITCHMAN: That's right. All of the fruits of the Spirit in one simple pill. How much would you expect pay for such an amazing product?

SHILL: Uh, one million dollars!

PITCHMAN: A million dollars?!? (stage whispers to SHILL) That's too high.

SHILL: Uh, 98¢!

PITCHMAN: (stage whispers to SHILL) That's too low!

SHILL: Uh, $100.

PITCHMAN: It won't cost you $100. It won't cost you $75. It won't even cost you $50. With this special TV offer, you only pay 19.95. But that's not all, call in the next 20 minutes, and we will include a set of Last Supper Steak Knives.

MARK: That's not right.

PITCHMAN: Ah, but it is. For just 19.95 you get a 30-day supply of FruitWow!, a set of Last Supper Steak Knives, plus I will throw in, at no extra charge, the Prayer of Jabez barbecue apron. (Just pay separate shipping and handling.)

MARK: No, I mean that's not how you get the Fruit of the Spirit.

PITCHMAN: Of course it is. It's on TV; it has to be true.

MARK: The Bible says that if we belong to Jesus and live by the Spirit, we will have this fruit. We can't buy it or eat it or earn it.

PITCHMAN: But it comes in the shapes of your favorite Bible characters. Look, (holding up pill) I have a John the Baptist right here.

MARK: It doesn't matter. We need to be led by the Holy Spirit and keep in step with Him.

PITCHMAN: Security!

MARK: (Continues as SECURITY approaches.) The fruit of the Spirit is evidence of a Christian's transformed life.

PITCHMAN: Security! Get this troublemaker out of here!

MARK: (Finishes as SECURITY removes him/her.) The fruit of the Spirit are the qualities of character that God grows inside of you.

PITCHMAN: (Waits until the MARK has been removed.) FruitWow! You'll say "Wow!" (speaking faster) Operators are standing by. FruitWow! is not available in stores and is made in Germany. Beware of FruitWow! imitators. Call now!

(Scene ends with the PITCHMAN and the SHILL quietly discussing what happened.)