Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
How Much Does a Pente Cost?
Scripture Reference: Acts 2
A lesson about Pentecost.
Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(D.B. enters and remains very still.)
MR. MATT: What are you doing, D.B.?
D.B.: (trying not to move his mouth) Waiting.
MR. MATT: Waiting for what?
D.B.: I am not sure.
MR. MATT: Then why are you waiting?
D.B.: Jesus said to wait, and he would send great power.
MR. MATT: That’s what he told the disciples in the book of Acts, but…
D.B.: (forgetting to be still) What kind of power do you think I will get, Mr. Matt?
MR. MATT: I don’t think…
D.B.: Maybe super speed like the Flash. (races back and forth until he gets winded)
MR. MATT: That’s not what…
D.B.: Or maybe super strength like the Hulk. (in Hulk voice) D.B. smash puny stage. (hits stage and hurts himself) Ow!
MR. MATT: D.B., you can’t…
D.B.: Or maybe I will be like the Professor in the X-Men and be able to read and control minds. (stares at Hanna)
MR. MATT: What are you doing?
D.B.: (continuing to stare) I’m trying to see if I can control Hanna’s mind. (to Hanna) Bring me a doughnut. Bring me a doughnut.
MR. MATT: You can’t read or control minds.
D.B.: (to Mr. Matt) Laser beams?
MR. MATT: No.
D.B.: Power beams?
MR. MATT: No.
D.B.: High beams?
MR. MATT: No.
D.B.: Can I make energy-based multiples of myself?
MR. MATT: No!
D.B.: How about…?
MR. MATT: D.B.! That’s not the great power Jesus was talking about.
D.B.: It was not?
MR. MATT: No, he was talking about the Pentecost.
D.B.: Oh! (beat) Well, I have money. How much does a Pente cost?
MR. MATT: No, D.B. Pentecost was the day that the early church received the Holy Spirit. With the Holy Spirit, they received great power.
D.B.: And with great power comes great responsibility.
MR. MATT: Yes, but that’s a different story. With the power of the Holy Spirit, the early church was able to boldly share the Good News about Jesus, and the church grew quickly.
D.B.: That is even cooler that super powers!
MR. MATT: I think so.
D.B.: Thank you, Mr. Matt.
MR. MATT: You’re welcome, D.B.
D.B.: Bye, Mr. Matt.
MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.
A lesson about Pentecost.
Cast:D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(D.B. enters and remains very still.)
MR. MATT: What are you doing, D.B.?
D.B.: (trying not to move his mouth) Waiting.
MR. MATT: Waiting for what?
D.B.: I am not sure.
MR. MATT: Then why are you waiting?
D.B.: Jesus said to wait, and he would send great power.
MR. MATT: That’s what he told the disciples in the book of Acts, but…
D.B.: (forgetting to be still) What kind of power do you think I will get, Mr. Matt?
MR. MATT: I don’t think…
D.B.: Maybe super speed like the Flash. (races back and forth until he gets winded)
MR. MATT: That’s not what…
D.B.: Or maybe super strength like the Hulk. (in Hulk voice) D.B. smash puny stage. (hits stage and hurts himself) Ow!
MR. MATT: D.B., you can’t…
D.B.: Or maybe I will be like the Professor in the X-Men and be able to read and control minds. (stares at Hanna)
MR. MATT: What are you doing?
D.B.: (continuing to stare) I’m trying to see if I can control Hanna’s mind. (to Hanna) Bring me a doughnut. Bring me a doughnut.
MR. MATT: You can’t read or control minds.
D.B.: (to Mr. Matt) Laser beams?
MR. MATT: No.
D.B.: Power beams?
MR. MATT: No.
D.B.: High beams?
MR. MATT: No.
D.B.: Can I make energy-based multiples of myself?
MR. MATT: No!
D.B.: How about…?
MR. MATT: D.B.! That’s not the great power Jesus was talking about.
D.B.: It was not?
MR. MATT: No, he was talking about the Pentecost.
D.B.: Oh! (beat) Well, I have money. How much does a Pente cost?
MR. MATT: No, D.B. Pentecost was the day that the early church received the Holy Spirit. With the Holy Spirit, they received great power.
D.B.: And with great power comes great responsibility.
MR. MATT: Yes, but that’s a different story. With the power of the Holy Spirit, the early church was able to boldly share the Good News about Jesus, and the church grew quickly.
D.B.: That is even cooler that super powers!
MR. MATT: I think so.
D.B.: Thank you, Mr. Matt.
MR. MATT: You’re welcome, D.B.
D.B.: Bye, Mr. Matt.
MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
The Harvest Is Plentiful And the Workers Are Exhausted
Scripture Reference: Matthew 28:16-20, Acts 1:1-22, Matthew 9:37-38, Luke 10:2
A lesson about The Great Commission.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(DILLY enters exhausted.)
MR. MIKE: Hey, Dilly. How are you doing?
DILLY: I’m so tired I’m left-handed.
MR. MIKE: Why are you so tired?
DILLY: I was reading in the Bible that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.
MR. MIKE: That’s great that you’re still reading the Bible, but how did that make you so tired?
DILLY: Rein back your horse; you’re getting ahead of me.
MR. MIKE: Sorry. Go on.
DILLY: I’ve learned the hard way to be more obedient to what I read in the Bible, so I went to a farm and started harvesting crops.
MR. MIKE: Oh.
DILLY: (indignant) “Oh” what?
MR. MIKE: I’m glad you’re taking the Bible seriously, but that’s not what that means.
DILLY: Well, don’t that just take the cake. Then what in the wide, wide world of sports does it mean?
MR. MIKE: It means that there are lots of people in the world who need to hear the Good News, but not enough people to tell it.
DILLY: Well, flip me over and call me done. That’s a whole lot easier. (talking to the kids) Hey you! God loves you. Hey you! Jesus died for your sins. Hey you! Accept Jesus or you’re going to H-E-double hockey sticks. Hey next kid! ...
MR. MIKE: Dilly!
DILLY: Hush! I’m busy spreading the Good News. (turning back to the kids) Hey you! Jesus loves you this I know. (continue until all of the kids have been spoken to)
There. That wasn’t so hard.
MR. MIKE: Dilly, there’s a lot more to it than that.
DILLY: Do tell.
MR. MIKE: Jesus said to go and make disciples of all nations and baptize them.
DILLY: Well, that’s easier than falling off a greased log. We can go down to the bathroom and baptize the whole lot of them right now.
MR. MIKE: We’re not baptizing these fine young ladies and fellows in the bathroom.
DILLY: Suit yourself, but if we did, we’d be done with it all.
MR. MIKE: That’s what I’m trying to say. We wouldn’t be done with it. Being saved is eternally important, but that’s not the end. Jesus said to make them disciples.
DILLY: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Mr. Mike, but the disciples are all dead.
MR. MIKE: The original ones are, but we are supposed to be disciples, too.
DILLY: Pull the other one.
MR. MIKE: Truthfully. Christians are supposed to be disciples, or students, learning to serve God and be pleasing to Him.
DILLY: Well, don’t that just pop out your monocle. All those people I told about Jesus left high and dry. I must go find them and make them disciples. (running back and forth) I gotta go to my neighbors. I gotta go to the feed store. I gotta go to my neighbors. I gotta go… (exits quickly)
MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
A lesson about The Great Commission.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight
Props:
None
(DILLY enters exhausted.)
MR. MIKE: Hey, Dilly. How are you doing?
DILLY: I’m so tired I’m left-handed.
MR. MIKE: Why are you so tired?
DILLY: I was reading in the Bible that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.
MR. MIKE: That’s great that you’re still reading the Bible, but how did that make you so tired?
DILLY: Rein back your horse; you’re getting ahead of me.
MR. MIKE: Sorry. Go on.
DILLY: I’ve learned the hard way to be more obedient to what I read in the Bible, so I went to a farm and started harvesting crops.
MR. MIKE: Oh.
DILLY: (indignant) “Oh” what?
MR. MIKE: I’m glad you’re taking the Bible seriously, but that’s not what that means.
DILLY: Well, don’t that just take the cake. Then what in the wide, wide world of sports does it mean?
MR. MIKE: It means that there are lots of people in the world who need to hear the Good News, but not enough people to tell it.
DILLY: Well, flip me over and call me done. That’s a whole lot easier. (talking to the kids) Hey you! God loves you. Hey you! Jesus died for your sins. Hey you! Accept Jesus or you’re going to H-E-double hockey sticks. Hey next kid! ...
MR. MIKE: Dilly!
DILLY: Hush! I’m busy spreading the Good News. (turning back to the kids) Hey you! Jesus loves you this I know. (continue until all of the kids have been spoken to)
There. That wasn’t so hard.
MR. MIKE: Dilly, there’s a lot more to it than that.
DILLY: Do tell.
MR. MIKE: Jesus said to go and make disciples of all nations and baptize them.
DILLY: Well, that’s easier than falling off a greased log. We can go down to the bathroom and baptize the whole lot of them right now.
MR. MIKE: We’re not baptizing these fine young ladies and fellows in the bathroom.
DILLY: Suit yourself, but if we did, we’d be done with it all.
MR. MIKE: That’s what I’m trying to say. We wouldn’t be done with it. Being saved is eternally important, but that’s not the end. Jesus said to make them disciples.
DILLY: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Mr. Mike, but the disciples are all dead.
MR. MIKE: The original ones are, but we are supposed to be disciples, too.
DILLY: Pull the other one.
MR. MIKE: Truthfully. Christians are supposed to be disciples, or students, learning to serve God and be pleasing to Him.
DILLY: Well, don’t that just pop out your monocle. All those people I told about Jesus left high and dry. I must go find them and make them disciples. (running back and forth) I gotta go to my neighbors. I gotta go to the feed store. I gotta go to my neighbors. I gotta go… (exits quickly)
MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
Monday, May 23, 2011
I Can’t Believe I Ate the Hole Thing
Scripture Reference: John 21
A lesson about forgiveness and hope.
Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(OZZIE peeks out of the puppet stage and talks to the kids.)
OZZIE: (whispering) Pssst. Have you guys seen Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: (steps into view) I’m right here, Ozzie.
OZZIE: (startled) Oh. Hi, Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: What’s going on?
OZZIE: Not much. What’s going on with you?
MR. MIKE: I mean why don’t you come all the way out here?
OZZIE: Oh, I’m fine just here. No worries. Not feeling guilty about nothing. Nope, no guilt here. No reason for anybody to be mad. No reason for anybody to accuse anybody else of doing anything wrong. No reason for anybody to be so racked with guilt that I can’t see straight.
MR. MIKE: I do not know what you’re talking about.
OZZIE: Doughnut! I don’t know anything about any missing doughnuts. Are there doughnuts missing? Did Jessie tell you something? I never did trust her.
MR. MIKE: What? Oh. I didn’t say “doughnut.” I said “do not.” You are acting stranger than usual, Ozzie, and that’s saying a lot.
OZZIE: (coming on stage completely and flailing his arms) I can’t stand it anymore! You’ve forced the confession out of me! Yes, I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it! I stand before you as guilty as guilty can be.
MR. MIKE: What are you talking about?
OZZIE: You mean you don’t know?
MR. MIKE: Know what?
OZZIE: Oh. Never mind.
MR. MIKE: Ozzie!
OZZIE: OK, OK, OK. You know how you bring doughnuts to church every week?
MR. MIKE: Yes.
OZZIE: I ate ‘em.
MR. MIKE: That’s OK. I bring them, so people can eat them.
OZZIE: No, you don’t understand. I at all of them.
MR. MIKE: (surprised) All of them?!?
OZZIE: Uh huh.
MR. MIKE: Oh my. That’s a lot of doughnuts.
OZZIE: I know. I’m a terrible little monster. I’ll understand if you never forgive me and hate me forever and ever and ever.
MR. MIKE: I’m not very happy with what you did, but I could never hate you.
OZZIE: Really?
MR. MIKE: Really. And I forgive you.
OZZIE: You do?
MR. MIKE: Of course I do. More importantly, God forgives you, too.
OZZIE: He does?!?
MR. MIKE: Never give up hope with God. If you go to Him and confess, He’s always ready to forgive you.
OZZIE: Wow! No matter what?
MR. MIKE: No matter what.
OZZIE: No matter how despicable I act?
MR. MIKE: No matter how despicable you act.
OZZIE: No matter how big I sin?
MR. MIKE: No matter how big you sin.
OZZIE: You’ll forgive me too, Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: Always. God forgives me. The least I can do is forgive others.
OZZIE: That’s great news.
MR. MIKE: Why’s that?
OZZIE: Cause I drank all the coffee, too. (exits quickly)
MR. MIKE: Ozzie!
A lesson about forgiveness and hope. Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight
Props:
None
(OZZIE peeks out of the puppet stage and talks to the kids.)
OZZIE: (whispering) Pssst. Have you guys seen Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: (steps into view) I’m right here, Ozzie.
OZZIE: (startled) Oh. Hi, Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: What’s going on?
OZZIE: Not much. What’s going on with you?
MR. MIKE: I mean why don’t you come all the way out here?
OZZIE: Oh, I’m fine just here. No worries. Not feeling guilty about nothing. Nope, no guilt here. No reason for anybody to be mad. No reason for anybody to accuse anybody else of doing anything wrong. No reason for anybody to be so racked with guilt that I can’t see straight.
MR. MIKE: I do not know what you’re talking about.
OZZIE: Doughnut! I don’t know anything about any missing doughnuts. Are there doughnuts missing? Did Jessie tell you something? I never did trust her.
MR. MIKE: What? Oh. I didn’t say “doughnut.” I said “do not.” You are acting stranger than usual, Ozzie, and that’s saying a lot.
OZZIE: (coming on stage completely and flailing his arms) I can’t stand it anymore! You’ve forced the confession out of me! Yes, I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it! I stand before you as guilty as guilty can be.
MR. MIKE: What are you talking about?
OZZIE: You mean you don’t know?
MR. MIKE: Know what?
OZZIE: Oh. Never mind.
MR. MIKE: Ozzie!
OZZIE: OK, OK, OK. You know how you bring doughnuts to church every week?
MR. MIKE: Yes.
OZZIE: I ate ‘em.
MR. MIKE: That’s OK. I bring them, so people can eat them.
OZZIE: No, you don’t understand. I at all of them.
MR. MIKE: (surprised) All of them?!?
OZZIE: Uh huh.
MR. MIKE: Oh my. That’s a lot of doughnuts.
OZZIE: I know. I’m a terrible little monster. I’ll understand if you never forgive me and hate me forever and ever and ever.
MR. MIKE: I’m not very happy with what you did, but I could never hate you.
OZZIE: Really?
MR. MIKE: Really. And I forgive you.
OZZIE: You do?
MR. MIKE: Of course I do. More importantly, God forgives you, too.
OZZIE: He does?!?
MR. MIKE: Never give up hope with God. If you go to Him and confess, He’s always ready to forgive you.
OZZIE: Wow! No matter what?
MR. MIKE: No matter what.
OZZIE: No matter how despicable I act?
MR. MIKE: No matter how despicable you act.
OZZIE: No matter how big I sin?
MR. MIKE: No matter how big you sin.
OZZIE: You’ll forgive me too, Mr. Mike.
MR. MIKE: Always. God forgives me. The least I can do is forgive others.
OZZIE: That’s great news.
MR. MIKE: Why’s that?
OZZIE: Cause I drank all the coffee, too. (exits quickly)
MR. MIKE: Ozzie!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Happily Ever After
Scripture Reference: 
Luke 24:13-35
A lesson about the nature of Jesus.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT– the teacher who sets her straight
Props: None
(MR. MATT is on stage.)
DILLY: Hi, Mr. Matt. How y'all doin'?
MR. MATT: Hi, dilly. I'm doing well. How are you?
DILLY: I'm finer than frog hair.
MR. MATT: I understand you were reading the Bible for Easter. How's it going?
DILLY: Oh, I had to stop before they killed Jesus.
MR. MATT: Why?
DILLY: 'Cause that's sadder than a dog without a nose.
MR. MATT: But you can't stop reading there.
DILLY: I most assuredly can. I don't do tragedy. I do the same thing in movies.
MR. MATT: What do you mean?
DILLY: When it looks like a movie is going to be a tragedy, I stop watching and make up my own ending.
MR. MATT: Like what?
DILLY: In my version of Old Yeller, the dog has a full recovery, he lives to a ripe old age, and they all live happily ever after.
MR. MATT: Dilly...
DILLY: And in my version of Titanic, the ship misses the ice berg, they make it to New York City, and they all live happily ever after.
MR. MATT: But that's not what happened.
DILLY: And in my version of Chicken Run, ...
MR. MATT: Wait. Chicken Run wasn't a tragedy.
DILLY: I know, but in my version Rocky Rhodes doesn't marry Ginger.
MR. MATT: Why not?
DILLY: Because he marries me, and we live happily ever after. That Rocky is handsomer than a timber wolf in a sport coat.
MR. MATT: I'm not even sure what that means, but you should watch the whole movie.
DILLY: I told you, I don't do tragedy. That's why I had to stop reading the Easter story in the Bible.
MR. MATT: That's what I was trying to tell you. That story is not a tragedy.
DILLY: I don't know how you define tragedy, Mr. Matt, but havin' the snot beat out of you and being murdered on a cross certainly sounds like a tragedy to me.
MR. MATT: I agree that those are horrible things, but that's not the end of the story.
DILLY: He was deader than a doornail. How can that not be the end of the story?
MR. MATT: Because he rose from the tomb three days later.
DILLY: Do go on.
MR. MATT: It's true. Most of Jesus' followers didn't believe it either, but he rose just as he said he would and just as it was prophesied in the Old Testament.
DILLY: Well, don't that just pepper my gumbo. Not finishing the story was a foolish has yankin' a dog's ear. (excited) I must go directly and finish the story. (exits quickly)
MR. MATT: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
Luke 24:13-35 A lesson about the nature of Jesus.
Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT– the teacher who sets her straight
Props: None
(MR. MATT is on stage.)
DILLY: Hi, Mr. Matt. How y'all doin'?
MR. MATT: Hi, dilly. I'm doing well. How are you?
DILLY: I'm finer than frog hair.
MR. MATT: I understand you were reading the Bible for Easter. How's it going?
DILLY: Oh, I had to stop before they killed Jesus.
MR. MATT: Why?
DILLY: 'Cause that's sadder than a dog without a nose.
MR. MATT: But you can't stop reading there.
DILLY: I most assuredly can. I don't do tragedy. I do the same thing in movies.
MR. MATT: What do you mean?
DILLY: When it looks like a movie is going to be a tragedy, I stop watching and make up my own ending.
MR. MATT: Like what?
DILLY: In my version of Old Yeller, the dog has a full recovery, he lives to a ripe old age, and they all live happily ever after.
MR. MATT: Dilly...
DILLY: And in my version of Titanic, the ship misses the ice berg, they make it to New York City, and they all live happily ever after.
MR. MATT: But that's not what happened.
DILLY: And in my version of Chicken Run, ...
MR. MATT: Wait. Chicken Run wasn't a tragedy.
DILLY: I know, but in my version Rocky Rhodes doesn't marry Ginger.
MR. MATT: Why not?
DILLY: Because he marries me, and we live happily ever after. That Rocky is handsomer than a timber wolf in a sport coat.
MR. MATT: I'm not even sure what that means, but you should watch the whole movie.
DILLY: I told you, I don't do tragedy. That's why I had to stop reading the Easter story in the Bible.
MR. MATT: That's what I was trying to tell you. That story is not a tragedy.
DILLY: I don't know how you define tragedy, Mr. Matt, but havin' the snot beat out of you and being murdered on a cross certainly sounds like a tragedy to me.
MR. MATT: I agree that those are horrible things, but that's not the end of the story.
DILLY: He was deader than a doornail. How can that not be the end of the story?
MR. MATT: Because he rose from the tomb three days later.
DILLY: Do go on.
MR. MATT: It's true. Most of Jesus' followers didn't believe it either, but he rose just as he said he would and just as it was prophesied in the Old Testament.
DILLY: Well, don't that just pepper my gumbo. Not finishing the story was a foolish has yankin' a dog's ear. (excited) I must go directly and finish the story. (exits quickly)
MR. MATT: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)
DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)
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