Blood and Guts Not Required

Scripture Reference: 1 Samuel 16:1-13

A lesson in how “the Lord looks at the heart.”

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
Headband/bandana (for D.B. to wear)
Dollar bill (real or fake)

(MISS REBECCA is on stage. D.B. enters out of breath. Panting, he spins around, moans, and collapses.)

MISS REBECCA: (concerned) D.B., are you all right?

D.B.: (breathlessly) I see a tunnel with a bright light.

MISS REBECCA: D.B.

D.B.: I am going down the tunnel.

MISS REBECCA: D.B.!

D.B.: And at the end of the tunnel there is… There is…

MISS REBECCA: What?

D.B.: A carrot.

MISS REBECCA: (annoyed) D.B.

D.B.: (snickers) Hi, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: What were you doing that left you so out of breath?

D.B.: I was exercising.

MISS REBECCA: Oh. Are you trying to get into shape?

D.B.: I already am a shape. I am bunny-shaped.

MISS REBECCA: No, I mean are you trying to get healthy?

D.B.: Oh, yes. I need to be much stronger if I am going to serve God.

MISS REBECCA: God doesn’t really care if you’re strong, Sweetie.

D.B.: Hmmm. Then He must want good looks. I sure hope so, because I am awfully cute.

MISS REBECCA: (amused) You are awfully cute, but God doesn’t really care how good looking you are.

D.B.: I was afraid you would say that.

MISS REBECCA: Why’s that?

D.B.: Well, if it is not being strong or handsome, then God must be looking for someone really smart like… like…

MISS REBECCA: Thomas Edison?

D.B.: Smarter.

MISS REBECCA: Albert Einstein?

D.B.: Smarter.

MISS REBECCA: Stephen Hawking?

D.B.: Smarter.

MISS REBECCA: I’m not sure who’s smarter than Stephen Hawking.

D.B.: Mr. Jeff.

MISS REBECCA: Mr. Jeff is smarter than Stephen Hawking?!?

D.B.: (looking down) Did I get that right, Mr. Jeff?

MR. JEFF: Yes. Thanks, D.B. (hands up dollar bill)

MISS REBECCA: Did Mr. Jeff pay you to say that?

D.B.: (holding dollar bill in mouth) No.

MISS REBECCA: It doesn’t matter, because God really doesn’t care how smart you are.

D.B.: (drops dollar) Oh. (pause) So God only wants weak, ugly, stupid people?

MISS REBECCA: Not exactly. You see God cares about what’s in your heart.

D.B.: God cares about my blood?!?

MISS REBECCA: Not your actual heart. He cares about your character. God is able to use people who are humble and obedient and loving.

D.B.: Ah. (catching on) So God cares about what on my inside, not what is on my outside.

MISS REBECCA: Exactly.

D.B.: But not my blood and guts.

MISS REBECCA: But not your blood and guts.

D.B.: Good, because I do not have any blood and guts. (stage whisper) I am a puppet.

MISS REBECCA: Right. He cares about you being humble, obedient, and loving, which you are, D.B.

D.B.: Aw shucks. You are not so bad yourself.

MISS REBECCA: Thank you.

D.B.: Hey! That means I can get started right away.

MISS REBECCA: After all that exercise, you might want to take a shower first.

D.B.: (sniffs) I thought that was you, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: D.B.!

D.B.: (snickers) Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

Here I Am, Lord

Scripture Reference: 1 Samuel 3

A lesson in responding to God.

Cast:
OZZIE – a mischievous little monster
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MISS STARR is on stage talking to the kids.)

MISS STARR: Last week we finished the book of Judges, and this week we are staring First Samuel. Today we are going to talk about, you guessed it, Samuel. He was…

OZZIE: (enters confused) Huh? What? Eh? Did you call me, Miss Starr?

MISS STARR: No, Ozzie, I didn’t call you. I was just telling the kids about Samuel.

OZZIE: Oh. Well, I was taking a little snooze, and I thought I heard someone call my name. It musta been a dream.

MISS STARR: I guess so. You can go back to your nap.

OZZIE: Thanks. (exits)

MISS STARR: As I was saying, Samuel is seen as the last of the judges and the first of the major prophets. According to the book of Samuel, he was the one who anointed the first two kings of Israel: Saul and David. His mother…

OZZIE: (enters) What? What? What do you want?

MISS STARR: What’s the matter, Ozzie?

OZZIE: You called my name again.

MISS STARR: It wasn’t me.

OZZIE: (suspiciously) Well, someone did.

MISS STARR: I promise it wasn’t me, and I didn’t see any of the kids do it. Maybe you were dreaming again.

OZZIE: No, I was dreaming that I was playing freeze tag with my pet worm Squiggly.

MISS STARR: Maybe Squiggly called your name.

OZZIE: That’s just silly! Worms can’t talk!

MISS STARR: But they can play freeze tag?

OZZIE: It was a dream.

MISS STARR: Oh, yeah. Anyway, no one called your name.

OZZIE: (still suspicious) Okay. (starts to exit but does a double or triple take)

MISS STARR: That’s so weird. So where was I? That’s right: Samuel’s mom prayed to have a baby. When God gave her Samuel, she dedicated him to God, and he was raised by the priest Eli. When Samuel was 13, God called him one night. At first, he thought it was Eli calling him. (pauses thoughtfully) huh. (looking toward the stage) I wonder if…

OZZIE: (enters shouting) Please stop calling my… (noticed MISS STARR looking at him) Oh, hi.

MISS STARR: Did someone call your name again?

OZZIE: Yeah! How’d you know?

MISS STARR: Lucky guess.

OZZIE: And I suppose you are going to continue to deny that it was you.

MISS STARR: Yes, I am, but I think I know who it was.

OZZIE: Sweet! Who was it? I bet it was Hayley. (stage whisper) I’ve never really trusted her.

MISS STARR: No, it wasn’t Hayley.

OZZIE: I didn’t think so, because she’s so nice. Then who was it?

MISS STARR: God.

OZZIE: God? Why would God be calling me?

MISS STARR: I don’t know, but I think you need to spend some time in prayer and find out.

OZZIE: I will certainly do that right after my siesta.

MISS STARR: Sounds like a good plan.

OZZIE: But can I ask you for a favor first?

MISS STARR: Sure. What is it?

OZZIE: If God calls again, can you please take a message and let me sleep. (exits)

MISS STARR: Ozzie!

That Meaner Ozzie

Scripture Reference: Ruth 1-4

A lesson in lovingkindness.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(Skit start with MISS STARR on stage after completing the prayer requests. D.B. enters.)

D.B.: (shouting) Oh, yeah! Well, I am not your friend either!

MISS STARR: D.B.! Who in the world are you talking to?

D.B.: Oh. Hi, Miss Starr. I am talking to that stinky old meaner Ozzie. (looks down and blows a raspberry)

MISS STARR: Did he do something mean to you?

D.B.: Well, of course he did.

MISS STARR: I was just…

D.B.: I mean, if he had done something nice, I would still be his friend.

MISS STARR: I understand, but…

D.B.: You cannot stop being someone’s friend because they are nice.

MISS STARR: That makes sense, but you see…

D.B.: You cannot say, “Oh, you are so very nice, so I cannot be your friend.”

MISS STARR: Well, no, but…

D.B.: That does not make any sense, Miss Starr.

MISS STARR: (relenting) Sorry about that, D.B. What was it that Ozzie did that was so mean?

D.B.: I loaned him my Limited Edition Darth Maul Star Wars action figure.

MISS STARR: Oh. And he broke it?

D.B.: No.

MISS STARR: He lost it?

D.B.: No.

MISS STARR: His dog ate it?

D.B.: No.

MISS STARR: (grasping) His Obi-Wan Kenobi action figure destroyed it?

D.B.: Now that is just silly.

MISS STARR: Then what did he do that was so mean?

D.B.: Nothing.

MISS STARR: Nothing? How is that mean?

D.B.: I did this really nice thing for my bestest buddy not expecting anything in return, but then I did not get anything in return.

MISS STARR: Ah. I see.

D.B.: You see what a horrible thing that meaner did to me?

MISS STARR: No, I see a selfish little bunny who only did something nice because of what he could get out of it.

D.B.: Where? Where do you see that?

MISS STARR: Right here in front of me.

D.B.: Oh.

MISS STARR: If you do something nice only because you feel obligated to do it or because of what you’ll get in return, then you really aren’t doing something just to be nice.

D.B.: (sadly) I am not?

MISS STARR: No, you’re doing it for yourself and not the other person.

D.B.: (guiltily) Oh. I guess I should go apologize to Ozzie for calling him a meaner.

MISS STARR: I think that would be a very good start.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Starr.

MISS STARR: Bye, D.B.

Only takes a few minutes for God to touch a life

I tried something different with the puppet skit this week. When it was over, one of the kids said, "What did that mean?" Not a good sign. I'm not ready to abandon my idea, but I need to work on it before I post it. (I only post scripts that I've tried at least once.) Since I have no skit to post this week, I thought I would post this word of encouragement I first saw on the One Way Street blog.

God Can Use Me?

Scripture Reference: Judges 6-7

A lesson in relying on God’s resources.

Cast:
OZZIE – a mischievous little monster
MR. JEFF – the puppeteer
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MR. MIKE is on stage. OZZIE appears shortly after MR. MIKE starts speaking.)

MR. MIKE: While we are waiting for Ozzie, let me tell you we’ll be studying Gideon today. His story shows us that we need to rely on God’s help to get things done. Because it’s not us doing but God through us, He can use anyone.

OZZIE: Ppppp!

MR. MIKE: Oh hi, Ozzie. Don’t you believe that?

OZZIE: Mr. Mike. God can’t use just anyone.

MR. MIKE: Sure He can. He can even use you, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Me?!? No way! I’m too little.

MR. MIKE: David was little, but he slew the giant Goliath.

OZZIE: Yeah, but I’m too young.

MR. MIKE: Timothy was young, but he was a great helper to Paul. Paul even told him not to let anyone “despise you for your youth.”

OZZIE: But I’m not even a person.

MR. MIKE: The Bible says, “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.”

OZZIE: But I don’t have breath; I’m a puppet!

MR. MIKE: Jesus told the Pharisees that if the people didn’t praise Him that the “stones would cry out.”

OZZIE: I feel vaguely insulted by that, but no matter. I don’t talk so good. In case you haven’t noticed I lisp.

MR. MIKE: Moses told God that he didn’t speak well, but God still used him to free Israel from slavery.

OZZIE: And I’m not very educated.

MR. MIKE: Peter was a fisherman and probably never went to school, but he brought thousands to salvation.

OZZIE: Plus I’m green! Does the Bible say anything about being GREEN?!?

MR. MIKE: Hmmm. In Psalms it says that the righteous “will bear fruit” and “stay fresh and green.”

OZZIE: So you’re saying that God can use me even though I’m a little green monster with a lisp?

MR. MIKE: He loves using little green monsters with a lisp.

OZZIE: He can use anyone?

MR. MIKE: Anyone.

OZZIE: He can use you?

MR. MIKE: He can use me.

OZZIE: And all these funny-looking kids?

MR. MIKE: They’re not that funny looking, and yes, He can use them, too.

OZZIE: (stage whisper) He can even use Mr. Jeff?

MR. MIKE: As hard as that is to believe, He can even use Mr. Jeff.

MR. JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can hear you.

OZZIE: That’s so exciting that God can use me! (thinks for a moment) How can God use me?

MR. MIKE: Well, each time you come to class, God uses you to help teach the kiddos.

OZZIE: Yeah! What else?

MR. MIKE: I don’t know, Ozzie. That’s between you and God. Pray and ask God, and I know He’ll show you.

OZZIE: Ooooh! I know what else I can do!

MR. MIKE: What’s that?

OZZIE: You said everything that has breath should praise God.

MR. MIKE: (suspiciously) Yeah.

OZZIE: Well, I’m going to go teach my pet worm Squiggly to sing “Awesome God.” (disappears)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!