Good Gifts

Scripture Reference: Matthew 7:7-12

A lesson about good things from God.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
 none

(MISS REBECCA starts on stage.)

D.B.: Good morning, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Hi, D.B. I hear someone is going to have a birthday.

D.B.: Oh, really? Who? Who is going to have a birthday? I love birthdays. Who is it? Who? Who? Who?

MISS REBECCA: You are, silly.

D.B.: Oh, that is right. I am going to have a birthday. I am so excited!

MISS REBECCA: Do you want anything special for your birthday?

D.B.: I was going to ask my dad for a Lego Bionic Bunny video game, but I decided not to.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like fun. Why didn't you ask him?

D.B.: Because I was afraid he'd give me a tarantula instead.

MISS REBECCA: Why would he…

D.B.: I do not like tarantulas.

MISS REBECCA: I don't blame you, but…

D.B.: They are creepy.

MISS REBECCA: That's a matter of opinion.

D.B.: They are big, hairy spiders.

MISS REBECCA: D.B.

D.B.: Ew!

MISS REBECCA: D.B., why would your dad give you a tarantula instead of a video game?

D.B.: I do not know, but he might.

MISS REBECCA: Does your dad love you?

D.B.: (insulted) Of course he loves me.

MISS REBECCA: Then why would he give you something bad when you asked for something good?

D.B.: I had not thought of that.

MISS REBECCA: Loving parents don't give their kids bad things.

D.B.: Then why do they make me eat Brussels sprouts?

MISS REBECCA: That's different. Brussels sprouts are good for you. Are tarantulas good for you?

D.B.: Oh, no. They can bite.

MISS REBECCA: Then your parents won't give you a tarantula.

D.B.: But what if I wanted one?

MISS REBECCA: Do you want one?

D.B.: No.

MISS REBECCA: Then it doesn’t matter. Are you going to ask your dad for the Bionic Bunny game now?

D.B.: Oh, yes. I feel much better about it now.

MISS REBECCA: Good. Happy birthday, D.B.

D.B.: Thanks, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: You're welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

But I Don't Look Good in Lilies

Scripture Reference:  Matthew 6:19-34

A lesson about worry and trusting God.

Cast:
 DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
 MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
 a Bible

(MR. MATT starts on stage.)

DILLY:  (enters) Oh my lands!  Whatever will I do?

MR. MATT:  Hey, Dilly.  What's wrong?

DILLY:  Hi, Mr. Matt.  I'm gong to a party at Flora's.

MR. MATT:  That sounds like a good thing.

DILLY:  Oh, it is.  All the right hens will be there.  No riffraff or hoi polloi.  It'll be better than sweet tea on a summer day in Texas.

MR. MATT:  So what's the problem?

DILLY:  I don't know what to wear.  I want to have just the right look.  I don't want to look to highfalutin, but I also don't want to look like I'm wearing something that came off the scarecrow.

MR. MATT:  Can I help?

DILLY:  (laughs)

MR. MATT:  What's so funny?

DILLY:  Cause you're a man.  You don't know haute couture from a hot dog.

MR. MATT:  Dilly!  I'm offended.

DILLY:  But do you deny it?

MR. MATT:  No, but I'm still offended.  What about Mr. Jeff?

DILLY:  You must be pulling my leg.  He's the one who picked out those tacky bowling shirts you wear.

MR. MATT:  I like these shirts.

DILLY:  And my point is proven.  (returns to panic mode) Oh, whatever will I do?  All is lost, lost, lost!  I'll never find the right outfit.  I'll be an outcast, a social pariah, all for want of the right outfit.  I think it would take a miracle from God right now.

MR. MATT:  (having an idea) How about a Bible verse?

DILLY:  What in the name of Gucci are you talking about?

MR. MATT:  Today's Bible verse Matthew 6 says, "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"

DILLY:  Well, that makes about as much sense as two bald men fighting over a comb.

MR. MATT:  How so?

DILLY:  I'm just not going to wear grass.  Do I look like some sort of hoochie-coochie hula girl?

MR. MATT:  No, but that's not…

DILLY:  And lilies?!?  Flower prints are so last season, and you want me to wear actual flowers?

MR. MATT:  Dilly!  That's not what it means.  Jesus was saying not to worry about what you are going to wear or eat or drink, because God will take care of you.  In other words, stop worrying.

DILLY:  (sarcastically)  Stop worrying.  Just like that.  You make sound as easy as selling umbrellas in a rainstorm.

MR. MATT:  It's not necessarily easy, but do you trust God?

DILLY:  Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?

MR. MATT:  And the more you trust God, the less you'll worry, because you'll know God is in charge.

DILLY:  Don't that just take the rag off the bush.  I reckon I do fret a bit much.  I also reckon it would show a decided lack of trust in God if I get my beak all bent out of shape and scurry out of here.

MR. MATT:  I reckon.

DILLY:  Then I'll just say bye, y’all!  (exits)

MR. MATT:  Bye, Dilly.

A Pie for a Pie

Scripture Reference: Matthew 5:38-48


A lesson about loving your enemies.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MR. MATT starts on stage.)

OZZIE: (enters & makes sound like he is going to hock up a big one) Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk…

MR. MATT: Ozzie?

OZZIE: Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk…

MR. MATT: (sternly) Ozzie!

OZZIE: (louder) Kkkkkkkkk…

MR. MATT: What are you doing?

OZZIE: Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk…

MR. MATT: Cut it out!

OZZIE: (softly) Kkkk.

MR. MATT: Stop.

OZZIE: K

MR. MATT: Ah!

OZZIE: Fine! I'll stop.

MR. MATT: What were you doing?

OZZIE: Trying to spit.

MR. MATT: Why are you trying to spit?

OZZIE: Because I'm so mad.

MR. MATT: If you're mad enough to spit, you're not supposed to actually spit.

OZZIE: (looking behind the stage) Now you tell me. (looking back up) I have already spit so much that I've gone dry.

MR. MATT: Who made you so mad?

OZZIE: Alfonso Pasquale.

MR. MATT: The school bully.

OZZIE: Yep.

MR. MATT: Is he picking on you again?

OZZIE: Yep.

MR. MATT: What did he do that made you so mad?

OZZIE: He hit me with a pie.

MR. MATT: A pie?

OZZIE: A cream pie right in the puss.

MR. MATT: That's terrible.

OZZIE: Then he kicked me with his big old boot.

MR. MATT: His boot?

OZZIE: His boot right in my bootie.

MR. MATT: What did you do?

OZZIE: Nothing yet, but I plan on getting even. As soon as I can buy a pie and a big pair of boots, I'll get him back.

MR. MATT: I don't think that's a good choice.

OZZIE: You have heard that it was said, "A pie for a pie and a boot for a boot."

MR. MATT: I don't think that's quite right. Regardless, you need to be nice.

OZZIE: But I hate that despicable bully.

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

OZZIE: What?!?

MR. MATT: Is that what the Bible says you're supposed to do?

OZZIE: Yes. Well, probably. OK, maybe. No.

MR. MATT: Right. Jesus said, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

OZZIE: But he's such a meanie.

MR. MATT: I understand. It's easy to love nice people, but Jesus calls us to do something harder: Love people who are mean to us.

OZZIE: But I really want to throw a pie in his face.

MR. MATT: Then you'd be no different that the bully. If someone who knows you're a Christian sees you do that, what are they going to think about Christians?

OZZIE: Yeah, but I have some really swell boots I want to buy. They're huge and would really…

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

OZZIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I'll forget about getting even and start praying for Alfonso Pasquale.

MR. MATT: That's much better.

OZZIE: And I'll start by praying he gets hit by a pie and kicked with a boot. (exits quickly)

MR. MATT: Ozzie!