Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord

Scripture Reference: Matthew 3:1-17, Mark 1:9-11, Luke 3:21-23

A lesson about preparing the way.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE begins on stage when DILLY enters.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Mike?

MR. MIKE: If I was doing any better, I couldn’t stand it. How are you this fine day?

DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair, but I am plumb tuckered out.

MR. MIKE: Why are you so tired, Dilly?

DILLY: I’ve been busy cleaning my house. I’ve washed the dishes, shined the windows, dusted the furniture, and done the laundry.

MR. MIKE: That’s great, Dilly, but…

DILLY: I even emptied the lint filter. Ya know, I think that’s were all the lost socks go. They just shredded into itty bits and go in the filter.

MR. MIKE: It could be, but…

DILLY: I polished the silver, made the bed, set the table, and swept the chimney.

MR. MIKE: But why…

DILLY: I emptied the dishwasher, filled the dog bowl, and cleared cache.

MR. MIKE: (gives up on trying to ask why)

DILLY: I’ve swept the stoop and vacuumed the coop. I’ve mopped the bath and mowed a path. I’ve beat the rug, scoured the jug, stomped a bug, and scrubbed the tub.

MR. MIKE: (silent)

DILLY: Well, you been quieter than a mouse walkin’ on cotton. Ain’t you got nuthin’ to say?

MR. MIKE: I was just waiting for you to take a breath.

DILLY: Of all the impertinence. (takes a very loud breath) There! I have breathed! Speak!

MR. MIKE: I was just wondering what the occasion was for all the cleaning?

DILLY: (happy to be talking about herself again) Last Sunday, the preacher exhorted us to prepare the way for the Lord. Well, I certainly don’t want the Lord coming to a dirty house.

MR. MIKE: I don’t think that’s what he meant. I think he meant you need to prepare yourself.

DILLY: Oh my lands. I am sure I am quite a sight after all that cleaning. I’ll need to get my feathers done and my Sunday go-to-meeting clothes laundered and…

MR. MIKE: Not your outside. You need to prepare your inside.

DILLY: Well, if I am going to prepare my inside, I will most certainly need to increase my fiber.

MR. MIKE: Not prepare that way. Prepare by praying and spending time in God’s Word. If you make yourself available and are obedient to God, he will use you to prepare the way for others to be saved.

DILLY: Well, butter my biscuit! Is that what the preacher meant?

MR. MIKE: I believe that’s what the fellow meant.

DILLY: (growing excitement) Then I best get a move on if the Lord is counting on me for such an important job. Where’s my Bible? Where is my Bible? No, I better pray first. But where is my Bible? Oh, and I better tell Flora, cause she’s cleaning her house as we speak. (exits)

MR. MIKE: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

True Identity

Scripture Reference: Luke 2:41-52

A lesson about identity.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
a dog nose, mask, and a bandana as a cape for D.B.’s disguise

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

D.B.: (appears singing like old Mighty Mouse cartoon) Here I come to save the day!

MR. MATT: What in the world?

D.B.: Fear not, Citizen. It is I, Mighty Dog.

MR. MATT: What’s up with the costume, D.B.? It isn’t Halloween yet.

D.B.: D.B.? Who is this D.B.? I don’t know… This is not a costume, it is my… I am the Champion of Justice; I am Mighty D… (in regular voice) How did you know it was me, Mr. Matt?

MR. MATT: Well, the ears for one thing. They’re kind of a giveaway.

D.B.: I do not understand. Clark Kent takes off his glasses and does not wear any kind of mask, and no one knows he is Superman. I wear a nifty disguise, and everyone knows who I am.

MR. MATT: It’s because, no matter what you wear, you’re still D.B.

D.B.: But I am not D.B. I am (superhero voice) Mighty Dog.

MR. MATT: But you don’t stop being D.B. when you’re Mighty Dog.

D.B.: (confused) I do not?

MR. MATT: Of course not. How do you think I knew it was you even in your Mighty Dog disguise?

D.B.: (defeated) I know. The ears.

MR. MATT: Not just the ears. Who you are – your personality, your character – still comes through. No matter what disguise you wear, it’s still D.B. underneath.

D.B.: (disappointed) Oh. Okay.

MR. MATT: You sound disappointed. Being D.B. is a good thing.

D.B.: I suppose, but Mighty Dog is the Champion of Justice. He is much cooler than just plain D.B.

MR. MATT: I wouldn’t say that. Even without the costume, you don’t stop being Mighty Dog.

D.B.: Huh?!?

MR. MATT: Like Mighty Dog, you show strength and honesty and integrity. I bet even as D.B. you’re faster than a speeding bullet.

D.B.: (perking up) You are right. Just yesterday I won a race against my turtle Bullet.

MR. MATT: (chuckling) There you go.

D.B.: Thanks, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: You’re welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.

Christmas Present

Scripture Reference: Matthew 2:1-23

A lesson in coming to Christ.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MR. MATT starts on stage when OZZIE enters)

OZZIE: Mr. Matt! Mr. Matt! I found Jesus!

MR. MATT: That’s great, Ozzie. When we believe in Jesus, it is life-changing.

OZZIE: I didn’t start believing in Jesus; I found him. He’s mowing my lawn.

MR. MATT: Mowing your lawn?

OZZIE: Yeah, my dad hired him and some guy named José to mow our yard.

MR. MATT: Ozzie, I don’t think that was Jesus. I think it was just a man named Jesús (hay-SOOS).

OZZIE: (disappointed) Oh. So I suppose the kid in my class probly isn’t Jesus either.

MR. MATT: I’m guessing his name is Jesús, too.

OZZIE: Oh, yeah. I was wondering why he said it so funny. And what about Jesus Flores?

MR. MATT: You mean the catcher for the Washington Nationals?

OZZIE: Yeah!

MR. MATT: It’s Jesús Flores.

OZZIE: And I suppose all those people in the phonebook named Jesus are really all named Jesús.

MR. MATT: Probably.

OZZIE: Then how am I ever going to meet Jesus when all of the Jesuses are named Jesús?!?

MR. MATT: Why are you looking for Jesus in the phonebook?

OZZIE: You’re right, Mr. Matt. This is the 21st century. I should have googled him.

MR. MATT: That’s not what I meant. Why are you looking for Jesus around here?

OZZIE: I read in the Bible about the Wise Men and how they brought Jesus presents, and I want to bring a present, too.

MR. MATT: That happened a long time ago.

OZZIE: I know that. I wasn’t going to bring him a baby present. I thought I’d get him a tie. That’s what I always get my dad.

MR. MATT: No, Ozzie. He was born over 2000 years ago.

OZZIE: Oh! Then he’s really old. Maybe I should get him a cane or a walker with fuzzy tennis balls on the bottom or one of those swell Hoveround chairs they sell on TV.

MR. MATT: Jesus is in heaven.

OZZIE: Ah. Do you mean Little Heaven, Delaware?

MR. MATT: No. (pointing up) Heaven.

OZZIE: Oh! FedEx probly doesn’t even go there.

MR. MATT: Why are you trying to send presents to Jesus?

OZZIE: You see I missed his birthday party. I’m sure the invitation got lost in the mail. So I wanted to get him a belated birthday present.

MR. MATT: But those aren’t the kind of presents he wants.

OZZIE: Then what in the world does he want?

MR. MATT: You.

OZZIE: Me?!? Well, that’s a pretty crumby gift compared to gold and myrrh and Frankenstein.

MR. MATT: (chuckling) That’s frankincense. And to Jesus, you’re much more valuable than gold.

OZZIE: Seriously?

MR. MATT: Seriously. The great gift you can give Jesus is yourself – your obedience, your worship, your love. That’s the gift he really wants.

OZZIE: But that sounds kinda hard.

MR. MATT: It can be.

OZZIE: Are you sure he wouldn’t rather have a Chia Pet?

MR. MATT: I’m sure.

OZZIE: Or a Snuggy?

MR. MATT: He wants you.

OZZIE: Okay, okay. I’ll give him me, but now I gotta find a FedEx box big enough to hold me. (exits)
MR. MATT: Ozzie!

Unstable Christmas

Scripture Reference: Luke 2:1-20, Matthew 1:18-25

A lesson about the birth of the Savior.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MATT begins on stage when DILLY enters.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Matt?

MR. MATT: Oh hi, Dilly. I’m doing fine. How are you?

DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair. And, oh my, y’all have some new little chicks in your class this morning. Howdy, young’uns.

MR. MATT: Yes, we do. New kids…

DILLY: And they’re just cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.

MR. MATT: New school year…

DILLY: Why, I’m sure they’re more excited than a dog in a hubcap factory.

MR. MATT: New Testament…

DILLY: New Testament? Whatever are you talking about?

MR. MATT: We’re going to start studying the New Testament this week. Today we are going to look at the birth of Jesus.

DILLY: I don’t cotton to that story.

MR. MATT: The Christmas story? Why not?

DILLY: The idea of a baby being born in a sorry little stable is most unpleasant, and that’s coming from someone who has lived in a stable. They are smelly and dirty. I mean, his daddy is the Lord God. Couldn’t he have let his son be born in a warm palace or a fine antebellum mansion or even the Holiday Inn? But a stable? And with all that donkey poo. Well, I never.

MR. MATT: Dilly, I think you’ve missed the point of the story.

DILLY: If you’re so bright, Mr. Matt, enlighten me.

MR. MATT: It’s a story about love.

DILLY: What are you talking about? Are you saying Mary & Joseph loved donkey poo?

MR. MATT: Of course not. I am saying that Jesus loved you so much that he left Heaven – where he sat beside his Father and had angels worshipping him – to come to Earth and be born in a “sorry little stable.”

DILLY: Well, ain’t that the berries!

MR. MATT: Yes, it is… I think.

DILLY: I always knew that Jesus loves everyone, but I didn’t know I was his favorite. Imagine that. He came to Earth just because of ME.

MR. MATT: Not just because of you, Dilly. He does love you, but he also loves me and Mr. Jeff and all these kids.

DILLY: (stage whisper) Even Abigail?

MR. MATT: Of course he loves Abigail.

DILLY: And Flora, too?

MR. MATT: And Flora, too.

DILLY: Do go on.

MR. MATT: Seriously, Jesus loves all the little children of the world.

DILLY: That is the most exciting news! I had never thought of the Christmas story in just that way. I must find Flora and tell her that Jesus left Heaven, because he loves her and me and everyone else (but I still think I’m his favorite). Where could that Flora be? Oh, there she is. (getting louder and running offstage) Flora! Flora darlin’! (exits)

MR. MATT: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forget – bye, y’all! (exits)