Harrumph!

Scripture Reference: Genesis 21:1-7, 22:1-19

A lesson in faith and sacrifice.

Cast:
OZZIE – a mischievous little monster
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MISS REBECCA is on stage chatting with the kids.)

OZZIE: Harrumph!

MISS REBECCA: (continues chatting)

OZZIE: Harrumph!!!

MISS REBECCA: (continues chatting)

OZZIE: HARRUMPH!!!

MISS REBECCA: (turning to OZZIE) Is something wrong, Ozzie?

OZZIE: (dejected) My mom made me get off the PlayStation to come to church.

MISS REBECCA: Is that so horrible?

OZZIE: But I was about to defeat Doc Ock in Legos Spider-Man. I had just used by spider-sense to build a switch and enter his lair. I had disabled his robotic tentacles and was just about to destroy the reactor. Then I just need to defeat Doc Ock, so I could do freeplay and unlock the black suit Spider-Man.

MISS REBECCA: Well, you can finish playing after church.

OZZIE: That's just it. I can't! Mom won't let me play this afternoon.

MISS REBECCA: Did you do something wrong?

OZZIE: No!

MISS REBECCA: Is it broken?

OZZIE: No!

MISS REBECCA: Then why can't you play?

OZZIE: (mockingly) Because we have to work at the homeless shelter.

MISS REBECCA: But that's a good thing.

OZZIE: So?

MISS REBECCA: So can't you sacrifice one afternoon of PlayStation to help homeless people?

OZZIE: But didn't you hear what I said? I'm about to get the Symbiote and the black Spider-Man suit!

MISS REBECCA: God will bless you for your sacrifice.

OZZIE: That's what my mom said, but how do I know He really will?

MISS REBECCA: You have to have faith.

OZZIE: I'm loaded with faith, but what if God doesn't come through?

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie! Didn't God bless you the time you and your family helped your neighbors after they lost their jobs?

OZZIE: Yeah, but…

MISS REBECCA: What about the time you went on that mission trip?

OZZIE: Sure, but…

MISS REBECCA: And what about when you made friends with that new kid at school that the everyone else was teasing?

OZZIE: I get it. I get it. I need to have faith that God will take care of everything if I am obedient to Him.

MISS REBECCA: That's right. You can have faith that God will take care of you, because He always has it the past.

OZZIE: I guess I can give up my PlayStation for one afternoon. Besides, Doc Ock will still be there tomorrow.

MISS REBECCA: That's it. Good for you, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Besides, I can always bring my Game Boy. I'm about to become a Jedi Master on Clone Wars! (disappears)

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie!

Just-If-I'd

Scripture Reference: Genesis 12:1-9, 15:1-21, Romans 4, John 3:16

A lesson in faith and justification.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
A long list (maybe a roll of register tape that could be unrolled)

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

D.B.: (appears on stage with a long list) … then I need to clean my room and mop the floor and read my Bible and help an old lady across the street and …

MISS REBECCA: Hey, D.B. Looks like you have a honey-do list.

D.B.: Honeydew? Let see … carrots … lettuce … rutabagas …. No, no honeydews.

MISS REBECCA: (chuckling) No, D.B. A honey-do list is a list of things a wife gives to her husband to do. She says, "Honey, do this" and "Honey, do that."

D.B.: (embarrassed) Oh, Miss Rebecca. I cannot believe you called my honey.

MISS REBECCA: No, I …

D.B.: We hardly know each other.

MISS REBECCA: But I meant …

D.B.: And what would your husband think?

MISS REBECCA: You see I …

D.B.: Plus I am a rabbit.

MISS REBECCA: I know, but …

D.B.: And you are not even a rabbit.

MISS REBECCA: What I meant was… What I was trying to say was… (frustrated, gives up) What's with the list, D.B.?

D.B.: Oh, this is my list of things to do to get into heaven.

MISS REBECCA: That's a mighty long list.

D.B.: Oh, yes. Because there are lots of things I must do to be a good bunny, and I can only get into heaven in I am a very good bunny.

MISS REBECCA: That's not true, D.B.

D.B.: (hurt) But I have been trying oh so hard to be such a good bunny.

MISS REBECCA: No, D.B. You are a very good bunny. I meant that it's not true that you have to be very good to get into heaven.

D.B.: Well, you have to at least be good.

MISS REBECCA: You don’t' even have to be good.

D.B.: Above average?

MISS REBECCA: Nope.

D.B.: You mean I can be rotten and get into heaven?

MISS REBECCA: Heaven will be full of people who sinned.

D.B.: But, Miss Rebecca, God does not like sin.

MISS REBECCA: No, He doesn't.

D.B.: Then why does He let them in?

MISS REBECCA: He lets them in – he lets us in – because He loves us. In fact, He loves us so much…

D.B.: I know this one. "For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

MISS REBECCA: Very good, D.B. God loves us so much that He created a way for sinners to be with Him forever. We just need to put our faith in Jesus and His sacrifice, and we will be justified.

D.B.: Just-if-I'd done what?

MISS REBECCA: Not just-if-I'd done something. I will be justified with God – made right with Him. He won't see my sin anymore.

D.B.: Well, that is sweet. I guess I can get rid of my list then.

MISS REBECCA: It is still a good list. I am sure your mom still wants you to clean your room, and reading your Bible is a very good thing. Those things won't get you into heaven, but they make God happy.

D.B.: Then I better go clean my room.

MISS REBECCA: Good for you. Get it all spic and span.

D.B.: It is very messy, so you may not see me for a very long time.

MISS REBECCA: That's okay.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

D.B.: (disappears then pops up quickly) Bye, honey.

MISS REBECCA: D.B.!

C'est Moi

Scripture Reference: Genesis 11:1-9

A lesson in humility.

Cast:
OZZIE – a mischievous little monster dressed as Sir Lancelot (perhaps wearing a helmet and carrying a sword)
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
Recording of "C'est Moi" from Camelot
Index card with introduction

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

MISS REBECCA: Today we are going to be learning what it means to be humble, and we have a very special guest to tell us about humility.

OZZIE: (poking up from puppet stage slightly) Psst.

MISS REBECCA: (ignoring him) His name is Sir Lancelot…

OZZIE: Psst.

MISS REBECCA: and he is one of King Arthur's Knights of the Round Table.

OZZIE: Psst.

MISS REBECCA: Excuse me a minute. (walks over to OZZIE and asks in a stage whisper) What do you want?

OZZIE: (hands her the index card and disappears)

MISS REBECCA: (looking at card) Hmm. It seems he has written his own introduction. It says:

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my tremendous honor and pleasure to present the most noble, the most daring, the most handsome, and most humble knight of the Round Table. He is King Arthur's finest, most trusted, and most modest knight-errant. He is the most valorous, gallant, and unassuming son of France. Here he is, the remarkable knight extraordinaire: Sir Lancelot du lac.

OZZIE: (Appears and lip synchs "C'est Moi" with great flourish. At the end of the song, he takes several bows to thunderous silence.)


Production Note: I fit the helmet very loosely on the head of my puppet, so it flopped around a lot. This added to the comedic look of the skit.

God Wants Me to Do What?

Scripture Reference: Genesis 6:9-9:17, 1 Thessalonians 5:17

A lesson in obedience to God.

Cast:
OZZIE – a mischievous little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(OZZIE enters while MR. MIKE is on stage.)

OZZIE: That's it! I'm done! I'm fed up with it, and I'm not doing it any more!

MR. MIKE: What's the matter, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Every time I read my Bible there is something I need to do or need to change, but this time it has gone too far. I'm never reading my Bible again!

MR. MIKE: Slow down. What did you read that got you so upset?

OZZIE: In 1 Thessalonians, Paul says we are to pray without ceasing.

MR. MIKE: What's so bad about that?

OZZIE: But if I pray without ceasing, how will I ever talk to anyone else? I mean I will always be talking to God…

MR. MIKE: Ozzie…

OZZIE: And I won't be able to sleep, and I'll be come sleep deprived. People who are deprived of sleep start hallucinating and go CRAZY! Do you really want to see me MORE crazy?!?

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

OZZIE: And I wouldn't be able to eat. I will wither away to fur and bones. You know you can only go about three weeks without food before you die! (wails)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!!

OZZIE: And the worst part … I wouldn't be able to play on my PlayStation! (collapses)

MR. MIKE: OZZIE!!!

OZZIE: (calmly) Yes?

MR. MIKE: That's not what it means. You don’t have to pray non-stop and do nothing else.

OZZIE: I don't?

MR. MIKE: No. It means you should pray throughout the day, not just one time. We are to keep turning to God for strength and guidance and encouragement.

OZZIE: Oh.

MR. MIKE: For example, you could pray before lunch at school.

OZZIE: Oh, I couldn’t do that! No one else does that, and the other kids would make fun of me.

MR. MIKE: But what if your prayer encourages other Christians to pray – or helps lead someone to Christ?

OZZIE: I guess.

MR. MIKE: If you are obedient to God's Word, God will bless you.

OZZIE: Okay, then I better be going.

MR. MIKE: Why the rush?

OZZIE: If I'm going to pray without ceasing, I better get started. (disappears)

MR. MIKE: (rolling his eyes) Ozzie.