ChildsPlay

The Breastplate of Righteousness

2012-01-23T08:19:00.006-06:00

Scripture Reference: Ephesians 6:10-20

A lesson on the Armor of God.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
A paper plate attached to OZZIE

(MISS REBECCA starts on stage.)

OZZIE: (enters dramatically) There's no need to fear.... Snap!

MISS REBECCA: What's the matter, Ozzie?

OZZIE: I still don't have a superhero name, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Well, maybe I can help. Do you have any ideas?

OZZIE: Since I'm green, I figured my superhero name should have green in it.

MISS REBECCA: I like your thinking.

OZZIE: Since I'm going to be spreading the light of God, I was thinking... The Green Lantern.

MISS REBECCA: Sorry, but that's already taken, sweetie.

OZZIE: Oh. Well, since I going to be a straight shooter, what do you think of... The Green Arrow?

MISS REBECCA: I like it. I liked it when I first saw him on the Justice League.

OZZIE: That's OK, I've got more. Since I am going to be stinging evil, I could be... The Green Hornet.

MISS REBECCA: Taken.

OZZIE: Since I will be gobbling up my enemies, I could be The Green Goblin.

MISS REBECCA: Taken, and he's a villain.

OZZIE: The Green Giant?

MISS REBECCA: Taken.

OZZIE: The Green Grocer?

MISS REBECCA: Taken.

OZZIE: (giving up) It's not easy being green.

MISS REBECCA: Taken.

OZZIE: Huh?

MISS REBECCA: Never mind. Tell me what your wearing.

OZZIE: This is (dramatically) THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS.

MISS REBECCA: Looks more like (dramatically) THE PAPER PLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS.

OZZIE: Hey, sometimes you just gotta work with what you got.

MISS REBECCA: I understand, but you don't need to wear anything.

OZZIE: You mean I should be naked?!?

MISS REBECCA: No, I meant...

OZZIE: Oh, wait. I'm always naked. I'm a monster. I'm all covered with fur.

MISS REBECCA: I mean it's a metaphor.

OZZIE: Grown ups sure like to use that word.

MISS REBECCA: I don't know about that, but in this case, it applies. Paul used the image of a breastplate, because righteousness protects us from the enemy. When we are righteous, or in right standing with God, we are protected.

OZZIE: Then I'm in trouble, cause I'm too rotten to be right with God.

MISS REBECCA: Each of us is too rotten to be right with God?

OZZIE: Even you?

MISS REBECCA: Even me.

OZZIE: Even Jessie?

MISS REBECCA: Even Jessie.

OZZIE: But she's so quiet.

MISS REBECCA: The Bible tells us that everyone has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

OZZIE: Oh, snap.

MISS REBECCA: But the good news is that Jesus died for us. If we accept Him as our Savior, then we are right with God.

OZZIE: Phew!

MISS REBECCA: So you see you are already wearing the breastplate of righteousness and didn't even know it.

OZZIE: That's nothing. I wore a strip of toilet paper on the bottom of my foot for a week and didn't even know it. (exits)

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie!

The Helmet of Salvation/The Shield of Faith

2012-01-18T07:06:00.008-06:00

Scripture Reference: Ephesians 6:10-20

A lesson on the Armor of God.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
Human-sized helmet (army, football, etc.)
Frisbee

(MR. MIKE starts on stage; OZZIE enters just high enough for the helmet to show.)

OZZIE: (muffled) Hey, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Is that you, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Yes, sir. Who’d you think it was?

MR. MIKE: I wasn’t sure. I thought it might be a turtle.

OZZIE: A turtle? Oh, that’s my (dramatically) HELMET OF SALVATION. It’s part of my superhero equipment.

MR. MIKE: That’s a mighty big helmet for you.

OZZIE: Well, I can be a pretty rotten little monster, so I need all the salvation I can get.

MR. MIKE: We ALL need all the all the salvation we can get, but the helmet doesn’t show how saved we are. It’s a symbol of how we are protected by God’s salvation.

OZZIE: Oh, it’s kinda like the belt of truth; it’s a meta-, meta-, meta-five.

MR. MIKE: A metaphor.

OZZIE: Meta-four, meta-five, whatever it takes.

MR. MIKE: Yes, it’s a metaphor. You really don’t need an army helmet.

OZZIE: Good! This thing is heavy and hurting my brain. Would you mind taking it off for me?

MR. MIKE: Sure.

OZZIE: (enters with a paroxysm; now can see OZZIE is holding a Frisbee) That’s better.

MR. MIKE: Now what’s that?

OZZIE: (dramatically) THE SHIELD OF FAITH.

MR. MIKE: The shield of faith?

OZZIE: Yes, sir. I’m ready to “quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.”

MR. MIKE: You are on the ball, but you don’t need a real shield.

OZZIE: Metaphor?

MR. MIKE: Metaphor.

OZZIE: And the fiery darts?

MR. MIKE: Metaphor.

OZZIE: Snap!

MR. MIKE: What’s the problem?

OZZIE: What am I going to do with an asbestos dartboard now?

MR. MIKE: I don’t know about that, but I am so happy that you’re taking your faith so seriously. Faith helps us stand resolute when our beliefs and values are attacked. It shields us from the fiery darts of fear and doubt and worry that the enemy constantly throws at us.

OZZIE: So faith in God and salvation through Jesus Christ are seriously important to protect us from Satan.

MR. MIKE: Exactly.

OZZIE: And it’s not a real helmet or shield. It’s a metaphor.

MR. MIKE: Right. Paul was using physical things to help us understand spiritual principles.

OZZIE: Well, that’s a good thing.

MR. MIKE: How so?

OZZIE: Now I can go back to playing with my (dramatically) FRISBEE OF FAITH. (exits)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

The Belt of Truth

2012-01-09T13:08:00.002-06:00

Scripture Reference: Ephesians 6:10-20

A lesson on the Armor of God.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
Man’s belt

(MR. MIKE starts on stage; OZZIE enters tangled in a belt.)

OZZIE: Mr. Mike! Mr. Mike! Help!

MR. MIKE: (crosses over to OZZIE and starts untangling him) Why in the world are tangled up in a belt?

OZZIE: I was trying to become a superhero.

MR. MIKE: Who? Beltman?

OZZIE: No.

MR. MIKE: Ribbon?

OZZIE: Are you done yet?

MR. MIKE: One more: Or are you trying to be a swashBUCKLEr?

OZZIE: Is that it?

MR. MIKE: Yes.

OZZIE: You got it all out of your system?

MR. MIKE: For now. Why the belt?

OZZIE: I was reading in the Bible about the armor of God, and I thought that would be perfect for a superhero.

MR. MIKE: So the belt is…

OZZIE: (dramatically) THE BELT OF TRUTH!

MR. MIKE: It’s a little big for you.

OZZIE: It’s a lot big for me. I had to borrow it from Mr. Jeff, since I don’t wear pants and don’t need a belt.

MR. MIKE: How are you planning on using the belt of truth?

OZZIE: Not the belt of truth. (dramatically) THE BELT OF TRUTH!

MR. MIKE: OK. How are you planning on using (dramatically) THE BELT OF TRUTH!?

OZZIE: I figured it was like Wonder Woman’s Golden Lasso. I would use it to make bad guys tell the truth about their nefarious plans.

MR. MIKE: That’s not really what the belt of truth is.

OZZIE: (clears throat)

MR. MIKE: That’s not really what (dramatically) THE BELT OF TRUTH! is. In fact, it isn’t really a belt. It’s a metaphor.

OZZIE: Mr. Mike, I’m not as old as you, so I don’t know what a “meta” is, let alone what it’s for.

MR. MIKE: A metaphor is a literary device. It uses imagery to help us understand something hard to picture. In this case Truth. God’s Truth is like a belt. Just like a soldier’s belt surrounds and supports him, God’s Truth surrounds and protects us.

OZZIE: Oh, I see. So I really don’t need Mr. Jeff’s belt.

MR. MIKE: Nope.

OZZIE: It’s too big anyway.

MR. MIKE: Yes, it is.

OZZIE: Besides, I think I’d look much better in (dramatically) THE SUSPENDERS OF TRUTH! (exits)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-23T13:39:00.002-06:00

Maggie Came from the East

2011-12-12T14:08:00.003-06:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 2:1-12

A skit introducing the Wise Men.

Cast:
GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

(MISS REBECCA is on stage when GRANNY enters.)

GRANNY: Good morning, dears.

MISS REBECCA: Good morning, Granny. Do you have a story for us today?

GRANNY: Of course, young lady. Granny always has a story.

MISS REBECCA: What story do you have for us today?

GRANNY: Well, with Christmas coming up, I thought I’d tell you the story of the Wise Men Matthew 2.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a great idea.

GRANNY: Splendid! After Jesus was born, Wise Men came from the East following a star. Being astronomers and astrologers, they knew the star was a sign that a great king had been born. They headed west toward Judah. Since they were looking for a king, they went to the palace of King Herod. Imagine his surprise to hear there was a baby king when he and his wife had no baby. The scholars told them to look for the Christ child in Bethlehem. Herod told the Wise Men to return with the location of the child, so he could worship Him, too. Really, though, he was afraid of losing power, so he wanted to kill the baby king. They found the baby, and they gave him precious gifts and worshipped him. Being warned in a dream about Herod, they went home by a different route. When Herod found out, he was not a happy camper.

MISS REBECCA: That's all very interesting, Granny.

GRANNY: But that's not the most interesting part.

MISS REBECCA: Really?

GRANNY: Oh my lands, no. It seems that the Wise Men were all named Maggie.

MISS REBECCA: (dubious) Maggie?

GRANNY: Yes, dear. I know it’s a girl’s name today, but it must have been a man’s name back then.

MISS REBECCA: Granny...

GRANNY: In fact, it must have been a very popular man’s name, because they were ALL named Maggie.

MISS REBECCA: I don't think...

GRANNY: It must have been very confusing for them. Whose camel is this? It’s Maggie’s. It’s not my camel. No, I meant Maggie. Who has my myrrh? Maggie has it. Not me, check with Maggie. What is myrrh anyway. I don’t know, ask Maggie.

MISS REBECCA: Granny Grace!

GRANNY: Yes, dear?

MISS REBECCA: M-A-G-I is pronounced Magi not Maggie.

GRANNY: Are you quite sure, dearie?

MISS REBECCA: Yes, it’s pronounced Magi. It’s the plural of Magus.

GRANNY: Well, that's completely different. It's still a lovely story, no matter what their names were.

MISS REBECCA: Yes, it is.

GRANNY: And we should be like those wise men. We should bring our finest gifts to Jesus and worship Him.

MISS REBECCA: You are very right. Thank you for sharing the story of the Wise Men with us today, Granny.

GRANNY: My pleasure. And remember, children: wait at least 30 minutes after eating before you swim and read your Bible every day. Bye, dears. (exits)

The Big Hats

2011-12-05T14:10:00.002-06:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 1:1-17

A skit introducing Jesus' genealogy.

Cast:
GRANNY GRACE – a sweet old storyteller who doesn't always get the facts straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

(MR. MIKE is on stage when GRANNY enters.)

GRANNY: Good morning, dears.

MR. MIKE: Good morning, Granny. Do you have a story for us today?

GRANNY: Of course, young man. Granny always has a story.

MR. MIKE: What story do you have for us today?

GRANNY: Well, with Christmas coming up, I thought we'd talk about Jesus' genealogy in Matthew 1.

MR. MIKE: That sounds like a great idea.

GRANNY: Splendid! Jesus' ancestors are a colorful bunch of characters: kings & queens, shepherds & farmers, prophets & even a giant killer. But don't think it's all a group of goodie two-shoes. Oh my lands, no. There were some real miscreants and ne'er-do-wells. Many of the kings were very naughty. Rehoboam, Abijah, Jeehoram, Ahaz, Manassah, Amon, and Jeconiah were all disobedient boys.

MR. MIKE: That's all very interesting, Granny.

GRANNY: But that's not the most interesting part.

MR. MIKE: Really?

GRANNY: Oh my lands, yes. It seems that all of Jesus' ancestors wore big hats.

MR. MIKE: (dubious) Big hats?

GRANNY: Yes, dear. In fact, that's what my old Sunday school teacher used to call this part of the book of Matthew: the big hats. I'd imagine Ruth wearing a big broad-rimmed hat with an enormous jaunty feather in it. I'm sure Boaz thought it was quite fetching.

MR. MIKE: Granny...

GRANNY: And David in a 10-gallon cowboy hat facing down the giant Goliath in a showdown.

MR. MIKE: I don't think...

GRANNY: And Abraham wearing a large festive sombrero to keep the sun out of his eyes while traveling in the desert.

MR. MIKE: Granny Grace!

GRANNY: Yes, dear?

MR. MIKE: It's not "big hat;" it's "begat."

GRANNY: Are you quite sure, dearie?

MR. MIKE: I'm not sure of a lot of things, but I'm sure about this. "To beget" means to create or to father. The begats is a list of who is the father of whom.

GRANNY: Well, that's completely different. It's still a lovely story, even without the hats.

MR. MIKE: Yes, it is.

GRANNY: And His ancestors show that it was not His pedigree that made Him special. His ancestors include liars and murderers and sinners of all sorts. But Jesus came for all of us, and we too are liars and murderers and sinners of all sorts.

MR. MIKE: Which shows just how much he loves us.

GRANNY: Well put, young man.

MR. MIKE: Thank you for sharing the story of Jesus' ancestors with us today, Granny.

GRANNY: My pleasure. And remember, children: Eat your vegetables and read your Bible every day. Bye, dears. (exits)

You shall not covet...

2011-11-29T14:52:00.001-06:00

Vanity, Thy Name Is Ozzie

2011-11-16T14:24:00.007-06:00

Scripture Reference: Ecclesiastes

A skit illustrating that life is empty without God.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm (all of Squiggly’s lines are “said” with a kazoo)
MAX – Ozzie’s boisterous pal
THE PUPPETEER – the one who brings life to the puppets

(The scene opens with OZZIE lying on stage motionless when MAX enters.)

MAX: Good morning, Ozzie. How are you doing?

OZZIE:

MAX: Yeah, I have days like that too, where I don’t feel much like talking. That’s why I start my day off with a coffee IV.

OZZIE:

MAX: You look lower than a bow legged caterpillar.Lemme tell you a joke to cheer you up. How does that sound?

OZZIE:

MAX: Great! You know how to make a tissue dance? (pause) Blow a little boogie into it. (laughs at his own joke)

OZZIE:

MAX: No. How about this one: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke Skywalker at dinner? (pause) May the forks be with you. (laughs at his own joke)

OZZIE:

MAX: Hmmm. I know, I know. Why did the chicken cross the playground? (pause) To get to the other slide. (laughs at his own joke)

OZZIE:

MAX: Hey, this is my best stuff, and you’re being quieter than a mouse sleeping in cotton. It’s time to bring out the big guns. Knock, knock.

OZZIE:

MAX: I said, “Knock, knock.”

OZZIE:

MAX: I said… (walks over and shakes OZZIE knocking him to the ground) Uh oh! (stares at ground in shock)

SQUIGGLY: (enters) Yoohoo!

MAX: Oh. Hey, Squiggly. (glancing at OZZIE) What’s wrong with Ozzie?

SQUIGGLY: (gives a long unintelligible answer; MAX peppers in Yeah’s and Uh-huh’s like he understands)

MAX: What in the name of Charlie McCarthy was he thinking. How does Ozzie think he could do anything without the puppeteer?

SQUIGGLY: (speaks)

MAX: That’s right. He’s just a lifeless lump of fabric without the hand of the puppeteer.

SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.

MAX: I’m sure the puppeteer would be happy to give Ozzie another chance. Would you take Ozzie to him?

SQUIGGLY: OK

(SQUIGGLY exits)

SQUIGGLY: (speaks offstage)

PUPPETEER: (offstage) Of course, I would, but it’s really up to Ozzie. Ozzie, do want my life in you?

OZZIE: (offstage) Yes, sir. (after a beat, OZZIE enters full of life and with a paroxysm) That’s much better!

MAX: Glad to see you back to your old self, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Me too, Max.

MAX: I hope you’ve learned your lesson.

OZZIE: And how! I was such a silly little monster. I know now that I need the hand of the puppeteer to give me life.

MAX: And you’re very blessed that he was willing to give you a second chance.

OZZIE: Yeah, he’s a swell guy that way. There’s just one thing I want to know. Whose hand gives life to the puppeteer?

MAX: That’s the silliest thing you’ve ever… (then realizes that it’s a good question) You know, that’s a very good question, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Of course it is. How?

MAX: We need the puppeteer's hand to bring us life; puppeteers need God's hand to bring them life.

OZZIE: Otherwise they're just lifeless lumps of fabric?

MAX: Something like that. Their sin takes away their life. When they become Christians, they are filled with God's life.

OZZIE: That's sweet!

MAX: Sweeter than my mama’s banana cream pie. Now that you’re back to yourself, lemme tell you that knock- knock joke.

OZZIE: (frantic) Oh snap! I may have been better off as lifeless lump of fabric! (runs of screaming)

MAX: Ozzie! (chases after OZZIE) Knock, knock! Knock, knock!

You Fool!

2011-11-15T11:51:00.004-06:00

Scripture Reference: Exodus 20:13, Matthew 5:21-22

A lesson about the commandment not to kill.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

(MR. MIKE starts on stage.)

DILLY: (enters yelling to someone offstage) You foolish, foolish rooster! I cain't believe you carry on so! Good bye, sir!

MR. MIKE: Dilly! Who are you talking to like that?

DILLY: That fool of a little bantam rooster. He's about as sharp as a sack of wet mice, bless his heart.

MR. MIKE: That's not very nice.

DILLY: I'm sure his mamma loves him, but I'm just saying... Anyway, I didn't come here today to talk about that scoundrel. I understand you are teaching these young chicks about the 10 Commandments. Being the righteous and virtuous chicken I am, I thought I would offer my assistance.

MR. MIKE: I think we have it under control. Today we are talking about "You shall not murder."

DILLY: Well, I'm not sure I'd have much to offer on that anyway – having, of course, never murdered anyone. I don't even like stepping on ants. I do declare that I am quite innocent of this one.

MR. MIKE: Actually, Jesus said anyone who is angry with his (or her) brother is subject to judgement, and anyone who says "You fool!" will be answerable to God.

DILLY: You're joshing me.

MR. MIKE: Cross my heart. Jesus says you are just as guilty before God as a murderer if you call someone a fool.

DILLY: That don't rightly seem fair. Killing someone is much worse.

MR. MIKE: In one sense, that's true. No one is going to prison for name calling. But God cannot tolerate any sin, whether it's murder or calling someone a fool. All sin makes you guilty.

DILLY: Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud. I've never heard such a thing.

MR. MIKE: The Pharisees thought they were more righteous, because they kept the commandments. Do you know anyone like that, Dilly?

DILLY: (whisper) You mean Flora?

MR. MIKE: (whisper) No! (normal voice) Jesus was teaching them – and you – that no one is righteous because of the Law. We are only counted as righteous by having faith in God.

DILLY: Don't that just sauté my gizzard. And there are so many that I've call a fool. I must go at once and make amends. Who to go to first? (running back & forth) That little bantam rooster... No, the cow... No, the pig... No, Mr. Mike... No, Flora... (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Sabbath and the Rest

2011-11-07T07:52:00.003-06:00

Scripture Reference: Exodus 20:8-11

A lesson on keeping the Sabbath.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

(MISS REBECCA starts on stage.)

MISS REBECCA: (pauses after prayer; looks at watch) Ozzie should be here. I wonder where he is?

OZZIE: (from backstage) Yeah, pick me up from church... It's behind The Wall... Not a brick wall, silly. The Wall Chinese restaurant... OK, see you at noon. Bye.(enters and looks around) Why's everyone staring at me? Do I have something in my fur? This stuff attracts everything. The other day I found a slice of pizza in my fur.

MISS REBECCA: That's gross.

OZZIE: Actually, it was yummy. So why is everyone staring at me?

MISS REBECCA: We were just waiting on you. Sounds like you have big plans after church.

OZZIE: I got big plans all day.

MISS REBECCA: Oh, really? Like what?

OZZIE: Well, after church I got soccer practice. My friend Ernie's mom is going to take us.

MISS REBECCA: What else?

OZZIE: Then my folks are going to take Izzie and me to a movie.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like fun. What are you going to see?

OZZIE: We're going to see Being Elmo. Ozzie like Elmo.

MISS REBECCA: Who doesn't?

OZZIE: Then I have play practice at school.

MISS REBECCA: Oh. What play are you doing?

OZZIE: Pinocchio.

MISS REBECCA: Who are you playing? Jiminy Cricket?

OZZIE: You're just saying that because I'm green.

MISS REBECCA: Well, I...

OZZIE: That's very colorist of you.

MISS REBECCA: Sorry, I shouldn't have made assumptions. Who are you playing?

OZZIE: Jiminy Cricket.

MISS REBECCA: But, I... Never mind. Is that all?

OZZIE: Oh, no! Then I'm going over to Bert's house to play video games. He thinks he can beat me at Monster Trucks.

MISS REBECCA: But he can't?

OZZIE: Of course not. I'm a monster!

MISS REBECCA: Makes sense. Anything else?

OZZIE: Yeah, then I gotta soccer game.

MISS REBECCA: I thought you already had soccer.

OZZIE: That was practice. This is a game. We're playing the Palmer Polecats.

MISS REBECCA: Are they any good?

OZZIE: They stink! (pauses for laughter from the kids) Cause a polecat is a skunk, and skunks stink. Get it? It's a joke. (pauses for laugh) Anyway – then I go home and do my homework & go to bed.

MISS REBECCA: That's awfully late to start homework. Why didn't you do it yesterday?

OZZIE: I was too busy.

MISS REBECCA: Too busy? Today seems too busy.

OZZIE: Yeah, I got a lot going on. I almost didn't make it to church.

MISS REBECCA: Well, that wouldn't have been good. Have you ever heard of Sabbath Rest?

OZZIE: Is that when my mom and dad take a nap on Sunday afternoon?

MISS REBECCA: No. It has to do with the fourth Commandment, which says to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. That means setting aside one day of the week as different, where we focus on things of God and not of this world.

OZZIE: So my folks shouldn't take a nap?

MISS REBECCA: A nap is fine. In fact, I am a strong advocate of naps. It means you shouldn't push God out. You should focus on Him everyday, but more so on Sunday.

OZZIE: I see what you mean. I'm so busy, I have no time for God. I'll see about clearing my schedule for next Sunday.

MISS REBECCA: That would be great.

DILLY: (offstage) Ozzie, honey.

OZZIE: Just a second. (leans down to hear whisper then returns) Oh that’s right. I’ll have to start in two weeks.

MISS REBECCA: Why do you have to wait?

OZZIE: I forgot I have to help Dilly clean her house.

MISS REBECCA: Can’t she do it without you?

OZZIE: No, she says I’m the best dust mop she’s ever used. (exits)

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie!

Compelling Like Hotcakes

2011-10-25T12:08:00.005-05:00

(Let me first offer a little backgroup on this. On Sunday, October 23, we had a special family service at our church. It involved a pancake breakfast before the service and the kids helping to lead praise. The Mr. Jeff referred to in the skit is me, and Miss Kelli is my wife.)

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MISS KELLI – the praise leader who sets him straight

(OZZIE is on stage with the praise band and kids singing Every Move I Make. When the song ends, OZZIE continues.)

OZZIE: Na na na na… (Slowly ends as he realized no one else is singing.) Well, that’s embarrassing.

MISS KELLI: Don’t be embarrassed, Ozzie. You should hear some of my mistakes. I’m just glad to hear you make a joyful noise.

OZZIE: That’s nothing, Miss Kelli. If you really want to hear noisy, you should hear Mr. Jeff.

MISS KELLI: What do you mean?

OZZIE: He can’t carry a tune in a paper sack.

MISS KELLI: That’s not nice, and you can’t tell me that you just came here to pick on Mr. Jeff.

OZZIE: I can’t?

MISS KELLI: No.

OZZIE: I guess that's just a bonus then.

MISS KELLI: Well, then what brought you here this morning?

OZZIE: My mom’s car.

MISS KELLI: Very funny, Ozzie. Why did you come here this morning?

OZZIE: Oh! The pancakes.

MISS KELLI: You can’t tell me the only reason you came this morning was the pancakes.

OZZIE: I can’t?

MISS KELLI: No. What about the kids singing?

OZZIE: That was sweet!

MISS KELLI: What about the other people?

OZZIE: I see ‘em. What about ‘em?

MISS KELLI: Well, did any of them greet you at the door this morning?

OZZIE: Yeah! Mr. Mike gave me a hug. Hi, Mr. Mike!

MISS KELLI: Did you meet Pastor John?

OZZIE: He’s really nice, and I’m sure his message today will be inspiring.

MISS KELLI: I’m sure it will be, too.

OZZIE: And he’s really tall.

MISS KELLI: He is tall.

OZZIE: I had to get my mountain climbing gear just to look him in the eyes.

MISS KELLI: Oh really?

OZZIE: I only made it part way up before I had to setup base camp.

MISS KELLI: How does that have anything to do with him being a good preacher?

OZZIE: I guess ‘cause his head is closer to heaven.

MISS KELLI: I don't know about that. Do you know anyone else here?

OZZIE: I know Mr. Jeff.

MISS KELLI: I already knew that. You help in children’s’ church.

OZZIE: He’s swell. (after each compliment, OZZIE gets slipped a dollar)

MISS KELLI: Yeah, but…

OZZIE: Handsome.

MISS KELLI: OK.

OZZIE: Talented.

MISS KELLI: Ozzie.

OZZIE: Funny.

MISS KELLI: Ozzie!

OZZIE: A great puppeteer.

MISS KELLI: OZZIE!

OZZIE: Yes. (drops money)

MISS KELLI: Just tell me what Mr. Jeff wants you to say?

OZZIE: He says you're one hot mama.

MISS KELLI: Tell Mr. Jeff he could have picked a better time to tell me that. Anything else?

OZZIE: (leans down then turns to MISS KELLI) Nopers.

MISS KELLI: You can’t tell me the only reason you're here this morning is pancakes.

OZZIE: I can’t?

MISS KELLI: Ozzie, there are lots of non-pancake reason to be here this morning. You get to spend the morning with loving people, worship God, and hear the Word preached.

OZZIE: Well, there are certainly are lots of reasons to be here.

MISS KELLI: So if someone else were to ask you why you came here this morning are you still going to say pancakes?

OZZIE: No, ma’am. Besides, pancakes are special just for this morning.

MISS KELLI: That’s right.

OZZIE: There’s something that’s here week after week that really brings me back.

MISS KELLI: Finally, you get it. What is it?

OZZIE: The doughnuts. (exits)

MISS KELLI: Ozzie!

My Splendid Vacation

2011-10-24T15:00:00.005-05:00

Scripture Reference: Joshua 1, 3-4; Psalm 145:4-7

A lesson about memorials.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
PASTOR JOHN – the preacher who sets her straight

Props:
Sombrero, maracas

(PASTOR JOHN is on stage talking when DILLY enters singing.)

DILLY:  ¡La cucaracha, la cucaracha, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! 

PASTOR JOHN: Oh. Hi, Dilly.

DILLY: (with a bad accent) Hola, Pastoro John.

PASTOR JOHN: Looks like you're in a good mood this morning.

DILLY: Why I'm finer than frog hair.

PASTOR JOHN: I like the maracas.

DILLY: Gracias. I got these darling things on my vacation to Mehico.

PASTOR JOHN: And the sombrero is very festive.

DILLY: I do declare, you sweet talkin' thing. Are you flirtin' with me, sir?

PASTOR JOHN: What? No, I...

DILLY: You are one tall drink of water.

PASTOR JOHN: Thanks, but I...

DILLY: And as handsome as a TV anchor man.

PASTOR JOHN: Thinks – I guess – but really...

DILLY: But I don't think it'll work out.

PASTOR JOHN: Huh?

DILLY: I know I am an FDA-approved, grade A chick, but you've got to forget about me.

PASTOR JOHN: But I never...

DILLY: My daddy would never approve of a mixed marriage.

PASTOR JOHN: I don't think...

DILLY: Let's speak of our forbidden love no more.

PASTOR JOHN: That'll suit me just fine.

DILLY: (dramatic pause) You were saying.

PASTOR JOHN: (snapping out of it) Oh, yeah. You got those on your vacation in Mexico?

DILLY: Si. I wanted something to help me remember my splendid vacation.

PASTOR JOHN: So it was a good vacation?

DILLY: It was the kind of vacation that'll knock your socks clean off and into the washer.

PASTOR JOHN: Wow! That must have been some trip. Where in Mexico did you go?

DILLY: I don't rightly recall. I reckon it has some Spanish name. But we had the most splendid time.  ¡La cucaracha, la cucaracha! 

PASTOR JOHN: Did you try any yummy food while you were there?

DILLY: I don't rightly recall, but I'm certain we did. I think it was some sort of foreign food. But we had the most splendid time.  ¡La cucaracha, la cucaracha! 

PASTOR JOHN: What did you do while you were there?

DILLY: Well...

TOGETHER: I don't rightly recall.

DILLY: But we had...

TOGETHER: the most splendid time.

DILLY: How in the name of Col. Sanders did you know I was going to say that?

PASTOR JOHN: Because you can't seem to remember much about your "splendid vacation."

DILLY: But I have this adorable sombrero and maracas.

PASTOR JOHN: Those are the things you bought to help you remember your vacation. If you don't actually remember your vacation, they are just a hat and a couple of rattles.

DILLY: Well, don't that just pepper my gumbo. You are right, sir. (getting excited) I spent all that money on a vacation, and I don't recall it. That could depress a hyena. I must go directly to my friend Flora and have her tell me about our vacation. Flora! Flora! (exits quickly)

PASTOR JOHN: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Vanity, Thy Name Is Ozzie

2011-10-10T09:50:00.004-05:00

The LORD Is My Shepherd

2011-10-03T07:29:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Psalm 23

A skit showing the importance of the LORD being your shepherd.

Cast:
SHEEP – like King David, knows that the LORD is his shepherd
GOAT – tries to be the shepherd of his own life

(The SHEEP and the GOAT are standing next to each other facing the audience.)

SHEEP: The LORD is my shepherd.

GOAT: I’m in charge of my own life. I don't need a boss, I don't need a leader, and I sure don't need a shepherd. What do I look like, a sheep?

SHEEP: I shall not be in want.

GOAT: Life is hard. I have to work for everything I’ve got.

SHEEP: He makes me lie down in green pastures.

GOAT: My mom makes me mow our green pastures.

SHEEP: He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.

GOAT: Life is crazy. Get up early, go to school, do my chores, do my homework, play video games, and no time for me. I need a vacation.

SHEEP: He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

GOAT: I go my own way for my own sake.

SHEEP: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

GOAT: (overly-confident) And let me tell you, going it alone… (far less confident) can be pretty scary.

SHEEP: Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

GOAT: I have a nightlight and my teddy bear, but they don’t always bring be comfort.

SHEEP: You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

GOAT: I prepare to run in the presence of my enemies. Run really fast.

SHEEP: You anoint my head with oil.

GOAT: I don’t wash my hair, so my head is already full of oil. I’m a rebel.

SHEEP: My cup overflows.

GOAT: My cup overflows, but my mom makes me mop it up.

SHEEP: Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.

GOAT: I don’t know who Shirley Goodness or this Mercy person is, but I don’t want anyone following me.

SHEEP: And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

GOAT: You know, I think I’d rather live with you. So who’s this shepherd guy you keep talking about?

(The SHEEP and the GOAT walk off quietly talking to each other.)

Adam's Nostrils (Puppet Version)

2011-09-19T13:48:00.005-05:00

Scripture Reference: Proverbs 10:8

The Proverb is illustrated with auditions to the air band Adam's Nostrils.

Note: I've done this skit before with two kids posing as the chattering fools. A new class and new circumstances meant reworking this skit with a puppet.

Cast:
MISS REBECCA – teacher
OZZIE – chattering air guitar wannabe
3-4 kids – lead singer, drummer, etc.
1 kid – to replace the chattering wannabe

Props:
Rock-style song (I am using I'm a Believer by Cadet)

MISS REBECCA: Today, we are going to start an air band. For those who don't know what an air band is, an air band is a band that uses no real instruments. All of the instruments are made of air. For example the air guitar (pantomimes playing guitar) or air drums (pantomimes playing drums). The band is going to be called "Adam's Nostrils." You know like how God breathed air into Adam's nostrils? (Pauses to see if anyone gets it then gives up.) Anyway…
I need some volunteers to audition for Adam's Nostrils. I need a lead singer (pick a volunteer), a guitarist…

OZZIE: Oh! I’ve always wanted to play guitar. (strums air guitar)

MISS REBECCA: OK.

OZZIE: Sweet!

MISS REBECCA: We also need a bass player (pick a volunteer) and a drummer (pick a volunteer).

(During the instructions, OZZIE chatters to other band members.)

MISS REBECCA: Okay, here are the instructions: I am going to play I'm a Believer by Cadet. When the song starts, you (pointing to the singer/singers) lip-synch the song, and the rest of you pretend to play your instruments. You don't sing, and you don't make any noise.

(MISS REBECCA starts the music.)

OZZIE: (looking around for instruments) MISS REBECCA! MISS REBECCA!

MISS REBECCA: (pausing the music) What is it, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Where are the instruments?

MISS REBECCA: As I just explained, this is an air band, so you just pretend to play your instruments.

OZZIE: Oh. OK.

(MISS REBECCA starts the music. OZZIE starts making guitar sounds. MISS REBECCA pauses the music.)

MISS REBECCA: What are you doing now?

OZZIE: I'm playing guitar – and rather well, I might add.

MISS REBECCA: But you are suppose to doing it without making any noise. If you hadn’t been chattering you would have heard me explain that.

OZZIE: Sorry. I have it now.

(MISS REBECCA starts the music. As soon as the singing starts, OZZIE starts singing along. MISS REBECCA pauses the music.)

MISS REBECCA: (obviously very frustrated) What part of "You don't sing, and you don't make any noise" did you not understand?

OZZIE: But it's a good song. I think they sang it in Shrek? Did you ever see that movie, Miss Rebecca? Izzie loves Donkey, because she thinks he’s so funny. I like Puss-in-Boots better. How about you?

MISS REBECCA: Excuse me. If you could have followed instructions, you would have known what to do. Hand in your air guitar.

(MISS REBECCA takes air guitar from OZZIE. OZZIE collapse in despair.)

MISS REBECCA: Who wants to take his place? (Pick another volunteer.) You are now the guitarist. Remember: No singing! No noise!

(MISS REBECCA start the music one last time. The kids perform the song with no further incidents.)

OZZIE: Proverbs 10:8
The wise person accepts instructions,
but a chattering fool comes to ruin.
(collapses again)

MISS REBECCA: Let's give our new air band Adam's Nostrils a big hand! You guys did a great job!

A Heap O' Burning Coals

2011-09-12T08:57:00.002-05:00

Scripture Reference: Proverbs 25:21-22, Romans 12:9-21, Matthew 5:43-48

A puppet skit showing we should return kindness for unkindness.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
DUDE – a bully lizard

Props:
candy
glass of water

(Opens with D.B. on stage.)

D.B.: (imitating Elvis) It's just a heap o', a heap o' burning coals.

DUDE: What is that terrible sound? Is there some poor animal that's been injured? Oh, it's D.B. singing. What are you doing, furball?

D.B.: I am practicing my memory verse, Dude. Proverbs 25:21-22: If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.

DUDE: That is the second stupidest thing I've ever seen.

D.B.: What is the stupidest?

DUDE: You. (laughs hysterically)

D.B.: That was not very nice.

DUDE: Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, you know why a rabbit’s nose is always shiny?

D.B.: Why?

DUDE: Because its powder puff is on the wrong end! (laughs) Get it, furball? Your tail looks like a powder puff, so you can't powder your nose.

D.B.: I get it.

DUDE: Of course with you (looks D.B. up and down) it's hard to tell one end from the other. (laughs) Get it, furball? It's because you're so ugly that your face looks like your backside.

D.B.: Would you like a piece of candy, Dude?

DUDE: (confused) Sure, thanks. Hey, did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory?

D.B.: No.

DUDE: All he did was stand around making faces. (laughs) Get it, furball? Watch faces. Oh, I see you're making faces, too. No, wait, that is your regular face. (laughs)

D.B.: Would you like a glass of water?

DUDE: (more confused) Okay, I guess so. Do you know what you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower?

D.B.: What?

DUDE: A hare dryer. (laughs) Get it, furball? Like a rabbit is a hare.

D.B.: That is clever.

DUDE: Okay, what gives? This is my best material, and you ain't even gettin' mad. Are you having a bad hare day? (laughs) Get it, furball?

D.B.: I get it. Go on.

DUDE: Hmmm. What do you call a rabbit that sits on someone's forehead? Unsightly facial hare! (laughs) Get it, furball? Cause rabbits are so ugly, no one would want one on his face.

D.B.: I do not imagine that they would.

DUDE: Why you bein' so nice? It's no fun if you don't get hopping mad. (laughs) Get it, furball? HOPPING mad.

D.B.: Would you like to play my new PlayStation, Dude?

DUDE: (screams and leaves quickly)

D.B.: (looks after Dude then looks at memory verse) Wow! It worked. I offered him food and water, and it was like heaping burning coals on his head. Hey, and the LORD even rewarded me – Dude left. (snickers)
(exits imitating Elvis) It's just a heap o', a heap o' burning coals.

Drama: Why Our Kids Love It!

2011-08-31T13:02:00.003-05:00

Check out my guest post at Special Needs Ministry.

God Wins

2011-08-29T07:44:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Revelation

A lesson about the meaning of the book of Revelation.

Cast:
MR. WISEMAN – a boxing rabbi and preterist
SISTER SOPHIA – a boxing nun and futurist
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who introduces the experts
JESSIE – the student who sets them straight

(The scene opens with MISS REBECCA on stage.)

MISS REBECCA: Today, we come to the end of our study of the New Testament with a look at the book of Revelation. This book can be very hard to understand, so we have brought in two experts to discuss its meaning and significance. Please welcome Mr. Wiseman and Sister Sophia.

MR. WISEMAN: Thank you, Miss Rebecca, for having me here today, and it's always a pleasure to see you, Sophia.

SISTER SOPHIA: And it's always nice to see you. Good morning, boys & girls.

MISS REBECCA: Let's start with you, Mr. Wiseman. What can you tell us about the book of Revelation?

MR. WISEMAN: The Revelation of John describes events that took place in the first century and culminated in the destruction of Temple in AD 70.

SISTER SOPHIA: Mr. Wiseman, sometimes you're not such a wise man with your preterist piffle. Revelation is clearly depicting future events – perhaps even near-future events.

MR. WISEMAN: Sophie, Sophie. You and your futurist folderol. How can you say these are future events? In the Olivet Discourse, Jesus said "this generation shall not pass till all these things be fulfilled." The Temple was destroyed within a 40-year generation. (punches SOPHIA)

SISTER SOPHIA: Really? Revelation describes an apocalypse complete with earthquakes, rivers turning to blood, everything in the sea dying, and people gnawing off their tongues – ew! I think if that had happened, someone might have mentioned it. (punches WISEMAN)

MR. WISEMAN: It's called symbolism. Or don't they us big words like that in the books you read? (several punches)

SISTER SOPHIA: Ooo! Nice one, fuzzball. What about the millennium? (several punches)

MR. WISEMAN: Millennium, shmillennium. Next you'll be talking about the antichrist. (more punches)

SISTER SOPHIA: That's right. The Antichrist will rise from the Middle East. (more punches)

MR. WISEMAN: Wrong! Nero was the antichrist.

(The punches now become non-stop.)

SISTER SOPHIA: Blasphemer!

MR. WISEMAN: Heretic!

SISTER SOPHIA: Dork!

MR. WISEMAN: Schmuck!

JESSIE: (standing) Hold it! I know what Revelation means.

(The punching stops, and they turn to JESSIE.)

SISTER SOPHIA: What are you talking about?

JESSIE: I know what Revelation means.

MR. WISEMAN: You know what Revelation means. I've studied this my whole adult life. I have a library full of books on the subject and have met with the greatest scholars of eschatology.

SISTER SOPHIA: She probably can't even spell eschatology.

MR. WISEMAN: So tell us, Miss Smartypants, what does Revelation mean?

JESSIE: In the end, God wins.

SISTER SOPHIA: Oh, yeah.

MR. WISEMAN: Well, I think I better be going. (exits quickly)

SISTER SOPHIA: Yeah, I gotta go to, uh... I've gotta do, uh... I have to be at the, uh... Bye. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: Good job, Jessie. That is the right answer.

JESSIE: (waving) Thank you. Thank you very much. (sits)

In the Vase of Disaster

2011-08-23T15:17:00.002-05:00

Scripture Reference: Hebrews 11, Romans 4:18-25

A lesson about faith.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

(The scene opens with MISS REBECCA on stage.)

OZZIE: Miss Rebecca! Miss Rebecca! I need to ask you something!

MISS REBECCA: What do you need, Ozzie?

OZZIE: If I were to ask if I could come live with you, what would you say?

MISS REBECCA: I'd say, why do you not want to live at your home anymore?

OZZIE: No reason. No one's in trouble. Nothing's broken. Just askin'?

MISS REBECCA: What did you break, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Break? Me? Nothing. Why do you ask?

MISS REBECCA: Call it mother's intuition.

OZZIE: No, no. I was just thinking. What if someone – not me – did something – say break something – and needed some place to lay low or maybe even live forever, would you be willing to help some one – who's not me - like that?

MISS REBECCA: What did you break, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Nothing! I didn't break my mom's favorite vase!

MISS REBECCA: You broke your mom's favorite vase?

OZZIE: How did you find out? Who told you? Was it Dalton?

MISS REBECCA: No. It's not important how I found out. What is important is why you think you need somewhere else to live?

OZZIE: Cause my mom loves that vase, and she'll hate me for breaking it. She'll probably kick me out of the house, and I'll be homeless and probably have to live in a cardboard box by the railroad track. I'll have to eat bugs and... and sticks and stones. I'll eventually wither away to fur and bones.

MISS REBECCA: I don't think any of that will happen to you.

OZZIE: But she will kick me out.

MISS REBECCA: I don't think she'll kick you out either. Was it an accident?

OZZIE: Yes, ma'am, but it was her favorite vase. I'm doomed! I'm doomed!

MISS REBECCA: You're not doomed. Tell you what, sweetie, I'll take care of it with your mom.

OZZIE: Really?!? How?

MISS REBECCA: Don't worry about how. Just trust me.

OZZIE: You're swell. Miss Rebecca. How can I ever repay you?

MISS REBECCA: Tell you what – have faith that I can take care of it, and we'll call it even.

OZZIE: Well, certainly. That's stupendous. Thanks!

MISS REBECCA: My pleasure. I'm glad I can help.

OZZIE: Oh, and one more thing.

MISS REBECCA: What's that?

OZZIE: When you talk to my mom don't mention her favorite lamp. (exits)

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie!

Apostle, Epistle, SpongeBob

2011-08-16T07:04:00.011-05:00

Last Sunday, our lesson was on Paul's letter to Philemon, but we also did an overview of all of Paul's letters. I told them the letters were called epistles and discussed how they were used in the early church. To help them remember the epistles, and not confuse them with apostles, I came up with this game.

I put three hula hoops on the ground (you could use tape or some other way of creating a circle) and labeled the circles "Apostle," "Epistle," and "SpongeBob." I then read the names off the list below (in random order), and the kids had to decide if it was an apostle, an epistle, or a character from SpongeBob SquarePants. They did this by getting into the appropriate circle. For example, if I said Thomas, they should all get into the circle for Apostle, or if I said Squidward, they should all get in the circle for SpongeBob.

Here is the list I used:

Galatians (Epistle)
Romans (Epistle)
Titus (Epistle)
Ephesians (Epistle)
Philippians (Epistle)
Colossians (Epistle)
Philemon (Epistle)
Peter (Apostle)
John (Apostle)
Paul (Apostle)
Thomas (Apostle)
Simon (Apostle)
Andrew (Apostle)
Matthias (Apostle)
Patrick [Star] (Sponge Bob)
Squidward [Tentacles] (Sponge Bob)
Sandy [Cheeks] (Sponge Bob)
[Sheldon] Plankton (Sponge Bob)
Mermaid Man (Sponge Bob)
Barnacle Boy (Sponge Bob)
Mr. Krabs (Sponge Bob)

The game is actually pretty easy. Rarely did the kids miss a question. Titus, however, tricked a couple of them. The main point of the game was to have the kids do something active and fun to review the lesson, and this worked very well. I suspect I will use variations of this game to review other lessons. Maybe "Old Testament, New Testament, Dr. Seuss" is in the near future.

Good Feathers

2011-08-15T12:24:00.005-05:00

Scripture Reference: Philemon, 2 Corinthians 5:21

A lesson about redemption.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
BUGSY – a tough guy

Costume:
something that suggests a gangster

(BUGSY is out of sight; DILLY enters)

DILLY: Good mornin;, young 'uns' How y'all are? (improv/interact with the kids) Well, aren't y'all just cuter than a box of puppies.

BUGSY: (enters and approaches the stage) Hey, you! Chicken! Can you help me?

DILLY: I reckon I can. How may I help you, sir?

BUGSY: I'm lookin' for some chick named Flora. You know the dame?

DILLY: The lady you are referring to is my dearest friend. What in the name of Col. Sanders does a ruffian like you want with Flora?

BUGSY: It ain't none of your business, but she owes my employer chicken feed.

DILLY: If she doesn't owe him much money, why did he send his hired muscle to collect it?

BUGSY: Not money, you dizzy dame. Chicken feed. She actually owes some feed for chickens.

DILLY: Well, roll me over and call me tumbleweeds. Whatever happened?

BUGSY: Seems your pal is a doll with a big heart. There wasn't enough food at the orphanage, so she borrowed some from my employer. Now, he's sent me to collect her repayment.

DILLY: The thing sounds more crooked than a corkscrew, but I can guarantee that Flora will make good on her debts.

BUGSY: Your guarantee is all well and good, but it don't feed the monkey.

DILLY: You have a mighty peculiar way of express yourself. Anyway, if her word isn't good enough for you, perhaps mine will be.

BUGSY: What you talking about you crazy broad?

DILLY: I will cover Flora's debt. I will pay it for her.

BUGSY: Why in the world would you do that?

DILLY: Because she is my oldest and dearest friend.

BUGSY: (starting to get emotional) And you'd do that for her?

DILLY: As certain as God made little green apples. I love Flora like a sister.

BUGSY: (becoming more emotional) I've never heard of anyone doing that before. That's the sweetest thing ever.

DILLY: Love is always willing to sacrifice for others and give to help a friend.

BUGSY: (bawling) I wish I had a friend like that. Someone I could sacrifice for. Someone to have my back. Someone to go to gun show with. I'm getting too emotional. I'll come back tomorrow to collect the chicken feed. . (exits quickly)

DILLY: (stares at stage surprised at Bugsy's sudden departure)

BUGSY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, youse guys! (exits)

DILLY: Bye, y'all. (exits)

Missing: Squiggly

2011-08-08T08:34:00.002-05:00

Scripture Reference: Acts 27-28

A lesson about God’s provision.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MR. MATT is on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: (frantic) Mr. Matt! Mr. Matt!

MR. MATT: What is it, Ozzie?

OZZIE: He's missing! He's gone astray! I've searched high & low, hither & yon, betwixt & between! I can't fine him! He's lost! He's lost I tell you! He's gone!!

MR. MATT: Who's gone?

OZZIE: Squiggly's gone. I can't find him anywhere.

MR. MATT: I'm sorry to hear that.

OZZIE: Hey, Caleb! Have you seen, Squiggly? (Ask several kids taking time to interact & improvise.) How about you, Mr. Matt? Have you seen Squiggly?

MR. MATT: No, I haven't, but I'm sure he'll come back.

OZZIE: That's what my mama said. She said I needed to rely on God's pro-, pro-, pro volone.

MR. MATT: Provision?

OZZIE: That's what my mama said. To trust in God's provision to bring him back.

MR. MATT: Your mama sounds like a very wise woman.

OZZIE: That's what my mama said.

MR. MATT: So do you trust God to provide?

OZZIE: It's not easy, but I'll try.

(SQUIGGLY appears. MR. MATT notices; OZZIE does not.)

MR. MATT: I have a feeling it's all going to work out.

OZZIE: You think so?

MR. MATT: I know so.

(SQUIGGLY taps OZZIE.)

OZZIE: Squiggly!!

SQUIGGLY: (spoken with a kazoo) Ozzie!

OZZIE: Where have you been, you silly worm?

SQUIGGLY: (provides a long, unintelligible explanation)

OZZIE: (to MR. MATT) He says he was visiting his friend Squigbert, and he left me note by my hairbrush.

MR. MATT: And you didn't see it?

OZZIE: I forget to brush my hair.

MR. MATT: How long has he been gone?

OZZIE: Four days.

MR. MATT: You haven't brushed your hair in four days?

OZZIE: Do I look like I brush my hair everyday?

MR. MATT: True. I guess he should have put it my your toothbrush.

OZZIE: Do I look like I brush my teeth everyday? (exits quickly)

(SQUIGGLY exits quickly)

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

Jail Bunny

2011-08-01T12:24:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Acts 16:16-36

A lesson about God’s power.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MIKE– the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE is on stage when D.B. enters.)

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Hi, D.B. How’s it going?

D.B.: I am doing a lot better now.

MR. MIKE: You weren’t doing OK before now?

D.B.: No, I had a bad week at school.

MR. MIKE: What school do you go to, D.B.?

D.B.: Bugs Bunny Elementary School, and they are so unfair.

MR. MIKE: What happened?

D.B.: I had detention all week.

MR. MIKE: What did you do?

D.B.: That is just it. I did not do anything.

MR. MIKE: (incredulous) Really?

D.B.: Really. I know I do naughty stuff sometimes, but this time I am innocent, I tell ya.

MR. MIKE: Then I’m sorry to hear that.

D.B.: Plus the school bully was in there: Peter Bignose.

MR. MIKE: Peter Bignose?

D.B.: Do you know him?

MR. MIKE: No, it’s just a kind of unusual name.

D.B.: It is a pretty common rabbit name.

MR. MIKE: Really?

D.B.: Yes, there are lots of rabbits named Peter.

MR. MIKE: Oh. Well, that must have been pretty scary to be in detention with the school bully.

D.B.: It was at first, but then I got to know him.

MR. MIKE: And is he really a good kid?

D.B.: He is OK. He is really angry though. We talked a lot last week.

MR. MIKE: About what?

D.B.: Just stuff. Star Wars, Legos, comic books, sports, and even Jesus.

MR. MIKE: That’s great, D.B. What did you tell him about Jesus?

D.B.: About how wonderful he is and how he could help Peter not be so angry.

MR. MIKE: What did he say?

D.B.: He is thinking about it. I think it helped that I was not all grumpy frumpy about being unjustly put in detention.

MR. MIKE: You remind me of Paul & Silas.

D.B.: Did they have long ears and fuzzy tails, too?

MR. MIKE: No. In our Bible story today, they are unjustly put in prison. They prayed and sang hymns.

D.B.: Well, I did not sing any hymns.

MR. MIKE: That’s not what I…

D.B.: I did sing King of the Jungle. (sings)
Who's the king of the jungle? Hoo hoo!
Who's the king of the sea? Bubba bubba bubba...

MR. MIKE: Very nice.

D.B.: Thank you.

MR. MIKE: My point, however, was that Paul & Silas were in a bad situation, and by God’s power, something good came out of it. In their case, the jailer and his family were saved.

D.B.: Wow! And in my case Peter Bignose heard about Jesus.

MR. MIKE: Exactly.

D.B.: Thank you, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: You’re welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Bye, D.B.

The Great Cow-mission

2011-07-25T13:38:00.005-05:00

Scripture Reference: Acts 10:1-11:18

A lesson about who can be saved.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE– the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
none

(MR. MIKE begins on stage)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Mike?

MR. MIKE: If I were any better I couldn’t stand it. How are you, Dilly?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair.

MR. MIKE: The last time I saw you I believe you were rushing off to carry out the Great Commission. How’s that going?

DILLY: I’ve been busier than a stump-tailed cow in fly season. I’ve been sharing the Good News and making disciples of all the chickens.

MR. MIKE: What about the other animals?

DILLY: What about them?

MR. MIKE: Aren’t you going to tell them the Good News?

DILLY: Whatever for? They’re just vulgar, dirty creatures, bless their hearts.

MR. MIKE: Dilly! That’s a terrible thing to say.

DILLY: I’m sure their mamas love them, but I’m just saying…

MR. MIKE: What about cows? They seem decent enough.

DILLY: Have you ever met a cow? Did you know they spit up their food and chew it again? Disgusting.

MR. MIKE: What about pigs?

DILLY: They’re even worse. You know what they say: When you fight with a pig you both get dirty, but the pig likes it.

MR. MIKE: Ducks?

DILLY: Mr. Mike, you’re not supposed to read the stage directions.

MR. MIKE: I’m not supposed to duck. I’m asking, what about ducks? They are birds like you?

DILLY: They are not birds like me. They are a few kernels shy of cob.

MR. MIKE: Sheep?

DILLY: Dirty. Nasty.

MR. MIKE: Dogs?

DILLY: Slobbery!

MR. MIKE: Cats?

DILLY: (sing-songy) Hairballs.

MR. MIKE: So there aren’t any animals other than chickens deserving of your attention?

DILLY: No! They are all dirtier than a college student’s laundry.

MR. MIKE: That sounds mighty dirty. But the Bible says, “God has made these things clean, so don’t call them unholy!” (Acts 10:15 NCV)

DILLY: Oh my! Don’t that just dill my pickle. I cannot believe I have so many folks to talk to . Where to start? Where to start? (running back & forth) The cows. No, the dog. No, the sheep. No, the poor, pitiful ducks. (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

At the Other End of the Scales

2011-07-18T12:05:00.005-05:00

Scripture Reference: Acts 9:1-22, 2 Timothy 1:3-7

A lesson about conversion.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
Balance or bathroom scales
2 or 3 toy fish
Sheet music
Bible

SFX:
Truck horn

(MISS REBECCA begins on stage)

MISS REBECCA: While we are waiting for D.B., let’s take a look at our Bible story for today. It is the story about Saul’s conversion., and it can be found in Acts 9. (read Acts 9:1-19)

D.B.: (when MISS REBECCA reads about the scales falling from Saul’s eyes, moves the balance or bathroom scales out on stage; at the end of the reading start shouting) I can see! I can see! The scales have fallen from my eyes!

MISS REBECCA: What are you yelling about?

D.B.: The scales have fallen from my eyes, Miss Rebecca, just like Saul. See? (looks at the scales)

MISS REBECCA: It wasn’t those kind of scales.

D.B.: (disappointed) Oh. (having an idea) Oh. (exits, throws out fish, returns) I can see! I can see! The scales have fallen from my eyes!

MISS REBECCA: Not fish scales.

D.B.: Oh. Hmmm. Ah. (exits, throws out sheet music, returns) I can see! I can see! The scales have fallen from my eyes!

MISS REBECCA: Not musical scales.

D.B.: (dreading) OK. (exits, sounds of straining)

SFX: truck horn

MISS REBECCA: Not truck scales either.

D.B.: (enters) Phew! That’s a relief.

MISS REBECCA: What’s going on with all the different kinds of scales?

D.B.: I want to have a cool conversion like story like Saul.

MISS REBECCA: Sweetie, the important thing is that you’re saved, now how cool your story is.

D.B.: Yeah, but Saul’s story is SO cool.

MISS REBECCA: It is, but do you know who Timothy is?

D.B.: Is he that kid with eleven toes?

MISS REBECCA: What? No! Timothy was a friend of Saul’s. He didn’t have a dramatic conversion story, but he was a very influential in the early church.

D.B.: Really?

MISS REBECCA: Really. You don’t have to have a dramatic conversion to make a dramatic difference for God.

D.B.: I am so happy to hear that. It is a real pain to carry around all of these scales.

MISS REBECCA: I imagine it is.

D.B.: Thank you, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: You’re welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

Witless for Christ

2011-07-11T15:16:00.004-05:00

Scripture Reference: Acts 8:26-40, Mark 13:11

A lesson about witnessing.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MISS REBECCA begins on stage)

OZZIE: Hi, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Good morning, Ozzie. What’s up?

OZZIE: I’m glad you asked. Before class started, I saw… (starts listing things that happened before church that morning) Then I saw Pastor John…

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie, why are you telling me all of this?

OZZIE: I heard the lesson today is about witnessing, so I thought I would tell you all the stuff I witnessed this morning.
MISS REBECCA: Ah! We’re not talking about that kind of witnessing.

OZZIE: Are you certain? Cause I got lots more stuff I witnessed.

MISS REBECCA: I’m sure you do, but I’m certain that we are talking about something different this morning.

OZZIE: (disappointed) Oh. (confused) What other sort of witnessing is there?

MISS REBECCA: We are talking about sharing our faith in Jesus Christ with others.

OZZIE: How is that witnessing?

MISS REBECCA: Let me explain it this way: If there was a trial and you had information about the case, you’d be called as a witness to testify about the facts of the case.

OZZIE: Oh, so someone here broke the law. (stage whispers) Was it Nikki? She’s pretty suspicious.

MISS REBECCA: Nikki is not on trial. No one here broke the law.

OZZIE: Then what’s the trial about?

MISS REBECCA: The trial was hypothetical.

OZZIE: Is that against the law?

MISS REBECCA: No, I mean it is an analogy. As a witness for Christ, we tell others the facts about Jesus.

OZZIE: Like how he was born in a stable and died on a cross?

MISS REBECCA: Yes, but not just historical facts. We testify about how He has changed our lives.

OZZIE: That sounds really hard. I don’t think I’d know what to say.

MISS REBECCA: You just have to tell the truth, just like you would in a courtroom.

OZZIE: That doesn’t sound so bad.

MISS REBECCA: Jesus also tells us not to worry beforehand, because the Holy Spirit will speak for us.

OZZIE: That’s even better.

MISS REBECCA: So you understand now what we mean by witnessing?

OZZIE: I certainly do, and I’m glad it’s this kind of witnessing.

MISS REBECCA: Why’s that?

OZZIE: Cause I don’t want anyone witnessing me eating all the doughnuts. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie!

The Gift Card of God

2011-07-05T12:26:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Acts 8:9-25

A lesson about giftedness.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MATT begins on stage)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Matt?

MR. MATT: Great, dilly. How are you?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair, but I having a mite of trouble.

MR. MATT: Maybe I can help.

DILLY: I hope so. I’m looking for your gift shop.

MR. MATT: We don’t have a gift shop.

DILLY: Fiddle-dee-dee.

MR. MATT: Is that a problem?

DILLY: Flora’s birthday is coming up, and I wanted to get her something extra special.

MR. MATT: What did you have in mind?

DILLY: Well, I was reading in the Bible about the gift of God, so I thought I’d get that for her.

MR. MATT: Get what for her?

DILLY: The gift of God.

MR. MATT: (incredulous) The gift of God?

DILLY: Actually, I don’t know her size, so I thought I would just get her the gift card of God.

MR. MATT: You can’t get Flora the gift of God.

DILLY: My heavenly days! Why not? She’s sweeter than Tupelo honey.

MR. MATT: It’s not a question of how sweet she is. That’s just not how you get the gift of God.

DILLY: Oh, is it something I have to get off the interwebs?

MR. MATT: No. First, you can’t give someone else the gift of God. That’s something that only God can give.

DILLY: Do tell.

MR. MATT: Second, the gift has already been paid for by Jesus’ death on the cross. You just have to accept it. That’s why it is called a gift.

DILLY: Well, butter my tail and call me a biscuit. I’ll have to be sure to tell Flora that she can get this gift straight from God.

(Pause)

MR. MATT: Is that it?

DILLY: I believe so. Why?

MR. MATT: You usually get all worked up and go rushing out of here.

DILLY: I realized that I’d gotten into that rut, so I’m turning over a new leaf. I’ve decided not to run around like a squirrel in a cage any more.

MR. MATT: Good for you. I figured you’d be frantic about coming up with a different gift for Flora’s birthday.

DILLY: (frantic) A gift! For Flora! Oh my! It plum skipped my mind! And she’s so hard to shop for, bless her heart. I must get to the store directly. (exits quickly)

MR. MATT: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

The Gospel Song - An Animation

2011-06-30T15:36:00.004-05:00

How Much Does a Pente Cost?

2011-06-06T07:13:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Acts 2

A lesson about Pentecost.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(D.B. enters and remains very still.)

MR. MATT: What are you doing, D.B.?

D.B.: (trying not to move his mouth) Waiting.

MR. MATT: Waiting for what?

D.B.: I am not sure.

MR. MATT: Then why are you waiting?

D.B.: Jesus said to wait, and he would send great power.

MR. MATT: That’s what he told the disciples in the book of Acts, but…

D.B.: (forgetting to be still) What kind of power do you think I will get, Mr. Matt?

MR. MATT: I don’t think…

D.B.: Maybe super speed like the Flash. (races back and forth until he gets winded)

MR. MATT: That’s not what…

D.B.: Or maybe super strength like the Hulk. (in Hulk voice) D.B. smash puny stage. (hits stage and hurts himself) Ow!

MR. MATT: D.B., you can’t…

D.B.: Or maybe I will be like the Professor in the X-Men and be able to read and control minds. (stares at Hanna)

MR. MATT: What are you doing?

D.B.: (continuing to stare) I’m trying to see if I can control Hanna’s mind. (to Hanna) Bring me a doughnut. Bring me a doughnut.

MR. MATT: You can’t read or control minds.

D.B.: (to Mr. Matt) Laser beams?

MR. MATT: No.

D.B.: Power beams?

MR. MATT: No.

D.B.: High beams?

MR. MATT: No.

D.B.: Can I make energy-based multiples of myself?

MR. MATT: No!

D.B.: How about…?

MR. MATT: D.B.! That’s not the great power Jesus was talking about.

D.B.: It was not?

MR. MATT: No, he was talking about the Pentecost.

D.B.: Oh! (beat) Well, I have money. How much does a Pente cost?

MR. MATT: No, D.B. Pentecost was the day that the early church received the Holy Spirit. With the Holy Spirit, they received great power.

D.B.: And with great power comes great responsibility.

MR. MATT: Yes, but that’s a different story. With the power of the Holy Spirit, the early church was able to boldly share the Good News about Jesus, and the church grew quickly.

D.B.: That is even cooler that super powers!

MR. MATT: I think so.

D.B.: Thank you, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: You’re welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.

The Harvest Is Plentiful And the Workers Are Exhausted

2011-05-31T06:44:00.002-05:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 28:16-20, Acts 1:1-22, Matthew 9:37-38, Luke 10:2

A lesson about The Great Commission.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(DILLY enters exhausted.)

MR. MIKE: Hey, Dilly. How are you doing?

DILLY: I’m so tired I’m left-handed.

MR. MIKE: Why are you so tired?

DILLY: I was reading in the Bible that the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.

MR. MIKE: That’s great that you’re still reading the Bible, but how did that make you so tired?

DILLY: Rein back your horse; you’re getting ahead of me.

MR. MIKE: Sorry. Go on.

DILLY: I’ve learned the hard way to be more obedient to what I read in the Bible, so I went to a farm and started harvesting crops.

MR. MIKE: Oh.

DILLY: (indignant) “Oh” what?

MR. MIKE: I’m glad you’re taking the Bible seriously, but that’s not what that means.

DILLY: Well, don’t that just take the cake. Then what in the wide, wide world of sports does it mean?

MR. MIKE: It means that there are lots of people in the world who need to hear the Good News, but not enough people to tell it.

DILLY: Well, flip me over and call me done. That’s a whole lot easier. (talking to the kids) Hey you! God loves you. Hey you! Jesus died for your sins. Hey you! Accept Jesus or you’re going to H-E-double hockey sticks. Hey next kid! ...

MR. MIKE: Dilly!

DILLY: Hush! I’m busy spreading the Good News. (turning back to the kids) Hey you! Jesus loves you this I know. (continue until all of the kids have been spoken to)
There. That wasn’t so hard.

MR. MIKE: Dilly, there’s a lot more to it than that.

DILLY: Do tell.

MR. MIKE: Jesus said to go and make disciples of all nations and baptize them.

DILLY: Well, that’s easier than falling off a greased log. We can go down to the bathroom and baptize the whole lot of them right now.

MR. MIKE: We’re not baptizing these fine young ladies and fellows in the bathroom.

DILLY: Suit yourself, but if we did, we’d be done with it all.

MR. MIKE: That’s what I’m trying to say. We wouldn’t be done with it. Being saved is eternally important, but that’s not the end. Jesus said to make them disciples.

DILLY: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Mr. Mike, but the disciples are all dead.

MR. MIKE: The original ones are, but we are supposed to be disciples, too.

DILLY: Pull the other one.

MR. MIKE: Truthfully. Christians are supposed to be disciples, or students, learning to serve God and be pleasing to Him.

DILLY: Well, don’t that just pop out your monocle. All those people I told about Jesus left high and dry. I must go find them and make them disciples. (running back and forth) I gotta go to my neighbors. I gotta go to the feed store. I gotta go to my neighbors. I gotta go… (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

I Can’t Believe I Ate the Hole Thing

2011-05-23T08:33:00.002-05:00

Scripture Reference: John 21

A lesson about forgiveness and hope.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(OZZIE peeks out of the puppet stage and talks to the kids.)

OZZIE: (whispering) Pssst. Have you guys seen Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: (steps into view) I’m right here, Ozzie.

OZZIE: (startled) Oh. Hi, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: What’s going on?

OZZIE: Not much. What’s going on with you?

MR. MIKE: I mean why don’t you come all the way out here?

OZZIE: Oh, I’m fine just here. No worries. Not feeling guilty about nothing. Nope, no guilt here. No reason for anybody to be mad. No reason for anybody to accuse anybody else of doing anything wrong. No reason for anybody to be so racked with guilt that I can’t see straight.

MR. MIKE: I do not know what you’re talking about.

OZZIE: Doughnut! I don’t know anything about any missing doughnuts. Are there doughnuts missing? Did Jessie tell you something? I never did trust her.

MR. MIKE: What? Oh. I didn’t say “doughnut.” I said “do not.” You are acting stranger than usual, Ozzie, and that’s saying a lot.

OZZIE: (coming on stage completely and flailing his arms) I can’t stand it anymore! You’ve forced the confession out of me! Yes, I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it! I stand before you as guilty as guilty can be.

MR. MIKE: What are you talking about?

OZZIE: You mean you don’t know?

MR. MIKE: Know what?

OZZIE: Oh. Never mind.

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

OZZIE: OK, OK, OK. You know how you bring doughnuts to church every week?

MR. MIKE: Yes.

OZZIE: I ate ‘em.

MR. MIKE: That’s OK. I bring them, so people can eat them.

OZZIE: No, you don’t understand. I at all of them.

MR. MIKE: (surprised) All of them?!?

OZZIE: Uh huh.

MR. MIKE: Oh my. That’s a lot of doughnuts.

OZZIE: I know. I’m a terrible little monster. I’ll understand if you never forgive me and hate me forever and ever and ever.

MR. MIKE: I’m not very happy with what you did, but I could never hate you.

OZZIE: Really?

MR. MIKE: Really. And I forgive you.

OZZIE: You do?

MR. MIKE: Of course I do. More importantly, God forgives you, too.

OZZIE: He does?!?

MR. MIKE: Never give up hope with God. If you go to Him and confess, He’s always ready to forgive you.

OZZIE: Wow! No matter what?

MR. MIKE: No matter what.

OZZIE: No matter how despicable I act?

MR. MIKE: No matter how despicable you act.

OZZIE: No matter how big I sin?

MR. MIKE: No matter how big you sin.

OZZIE: You’ll forgive me too, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Always. God forgives me. The least I can do is forgive others.

OZZIE: That’s great news.

MR. MIKE: Why’s that?

OZZIE: Cause I drank all the coffee, too. (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

Happily Ever After

2011-05-16T11:50:00.009-05:00

Scripture Reference: Luke 24:13-35

A lesson about the nature of Jesus.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT– the teacher who sets her straight

Props: None

(MR. MATT is on stage.)

DILLY: Hi, Mr. Matt. How y'all doin'?

MR. MATT: Hi, dilly. I'm doing well. How are you?

DILLY: I'm finer than frog hair.

MR. MATT: I understand you were reading the Bible for Easter. How's it going?

DILLY: Oh, I had to stop before they killed Jesus.

MR. MATT: Why?

DILLY: 'Cause that's sadder than a dog without a nose.

MR. MATT: But you can't stop reading there.

DILLY: I most assuredly can. I don't do tragedy. I do the same thing in movies.

MR. MATT: What do you mean?

DILLY: When it looks like a movie is going to be a tragedy, I stop watching and make up my own ending.

MR. MATT: Like what?

DILLY: In my version of Old Yeller, the dog has a full recovery, he lives to a ripe old age, and they all live happily ever after.

MR. MATT: Dilly...

DILLY: And in my version of Titanic, the ship misses the ice berg, they make it to New York City, and they all live happily ever after.

MR. MATT: But that's not what happened.

DILLY: And in my version of Chicken Run, ...

MR. MATT: Wait. Chicken Run wasn't a tragedy.

DILLY: I know, but in my version Rocky Rhodes doesn't marry Ginger.

MR. MATT: Why not?

DILLY: Because he marries me, and we live happily ever after. That Rocky is handsomer than a timber wolf in a sport coat.

MR. MATT: I'm not even sure what that means, but you should watch the whole movie.

DILLY: I told you, I don't do tragedy. That's why I had to stop reading the Easter story in the Bible.

MR. MATT: That's what I was trying to tell you. That story is not a tragedy.

DILLY: I don't know how you define tragedy, Mr. Matt, but havin' the snot beat out of you and being murdered on a cross certainly sounds like a tragedy to me.

MR. MATT: I agree that those are horrible things, but that's not the end of the story.

DILLY: He was deader than a doornail. How can that not be the end of the story?

MR. MATT: Because he rose from the tomb three days later.

DILLY: Do go on.

MR. MATT: It's true. Most of Jesus' followers didn't believe it either, but he rose just as he said he would and just as it was prophesied in the Old Testament.

DILLY: Well, don't that just pepper my gumbo. Not finishing the story was a foolish has yankin' a dog's ear. (excited) I must go directly and finish the story. (exits quickly)

MR. MATT: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Schrödinger's Candy

2011-05-09T07:32:00.002-05:00

Scripture Reference: John 20:19-31

A lesson about faith and doubt.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
Bag of M&M's

(MR. MATT is on stage holding an unopened bad of M&M's.)

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: Hey, D.B.

D.B.: Whatcha got there?

MR. MATT: A bag of M&M's. (shows bag)

D.B.: What is inside the bag?

MR. MATT: (confused) M&M's.

D.B.: How do you know?

MR. MATT: Well, it says M&M's on the bag.

D.B.: I can see that.

MR. MATT: OK, then why...

D.B.: I know how to read.

MR. MATT: That's good, but...

D.B.: I don't know why you think I cannot read.

MR. MATT: Well, because you asked...

D.B.: I can definitely read, but how can you be sure there are really M&M's in your bag of M&M's?

MR. MATT: (shaking the bag) They sound like M&M's.

D.B.: But Skittles would sound like that, too.

MR. MATT: I suppose, but why would anyone put Skittles in an M&M's bag?

D.B.: (mysteriously) Why indeed?

MR. MATT: D.B. there are M&M's in my M&M's bag. It says M&M's on the bag. (shaking bag) They sound like M&M's. (sniffing) They even smell like M&M's.

D.B.: But you cannot see them. How can you be really, truly, absolutely sure?

MR. MATT: I guess it's faith. I don't always have to see something to know it is true. I know the sun will come up tomorrow morning even though I haven't seen it come up yet.

D.B.: Yeah, but the sun always comes up every morning.

MR. MATT: And every bag of M&M's I've ever opened had M&M's in it.

D.B.: I guess. But I am still not really, truly, completely, totally, 100%, absolutely, sure there are M&M's in there.

MR. MATT: Then why don't I open the bag and prove it once and for all.

D.B.: Great idea!

MR. MATT: (opens bag) Sure enough: M&M's.

D.B.: Let me see.

MR. MATT: (brings bag to D.B.) See?

D.B.: Closer.

MR. MATT: (brings bag closer) Can you see now?

D.B.: Closer.

MR. MATT: (brings bag closer) How about now?

D.B.: Perfect. (grabs bag) Bye, Mr. Matt. (exits)

MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.

Adore Way

2011-05-02T11:19:00.006-05:00

Scripture Reference: John 20:10-18

A lesson about adoration.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

MISS REBECCA: Today we are going to be talking about Mary Magdalene and adoration.

(OZZIE enters smacking his lips.)

OZZIE: That was de-licious.

MISS REBECCA: What was so good, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Oh. Hi, Miss Rebecca. I just had a sardine and sauerkraut sandwich. It was sensational.

MISS REBECCA: That's an interesting combination.

OZZIE: You should try it some time. I absolutely adore them.

MISS REBECCA: Funny you should mention adoring your sandwich, because we were just talking about adoration.

OZZIE: Strange how things happen like that in this class.

MISS REBECCA: Do you know what adore means?

OZZIE: Sure, I do! There's "adore" over there. Could you close it please. (laugh/snort)

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie!

OZZIE: Sorry, Miss Rebecca. Just teasing. Adore means to like somethin' a whole bunch like a sardine and sauerkraut sandwich.

MISS REBECCA: Sort of. It means to love something deeply. It comes from a Latin word meaning to give worship to something or someone.

OZZIE: Well, I don't like sardine and sauerkraut sandwiches that much.

MISS REBECCA: In Bible times, people would humble themselves to show adoration.

OZZIE: Kind of like Squiggly does with me.

(SQUIGGLY enters, shakes his head, then exits.)

MISS REBECCA: I don't know about that, but in Persia, people would bow before the king to show adoration.

OZZIE: I've seen stuff like that in the movies.

MISS REBECCA: Then they would have to kiss his knee.

OZZIE: Kiss his knee?!? Ew!! I never saw that in the movies.

MISS REBECCA: Then they'd have to fall on their face at his feet, striking the earth with the forehead...

OZZIE: Ow!!

MISS REBECCA: and kissing the ground.

OZZIE: Ew!! I don't know what's worse: kissing the king's knee or kissing the ground – and I've seen what Squiggly does on the ground.

(SQUIGGLY enters, stares at Ozzie, then exits.)

MISS REBECCA: The Jews would show adoration with a kiss.

OZZIE: That's more like it. I know I've kissed my sardine and sauerkraut sandwich before.

MISS REBECCA: But you don't really give it adoration do you?

OZZIE: It's awfully yummy, but I don't worship it. So, no.

MISS REBECCA: I didn't think so.

OZZIE: But I do adore a good sushi and succotash soufflé. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: Ozzie!

Denial Denial

2011-04-11T07:29:00.004-05:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 26:57-75, Mark 14:53-72, Luke 22:47-62, John 18:12-27

A lesson about denying Jesus.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

DILLY: Hi. Mr. Mike. How y'all doin'?

MR. MIKE: If I were doing any better, I couldn't stand it. How are you, Dilly?

DILLY: Why, I'm finer than frog hair.

MR. MIKE: What have you been up to?

DILLY: Well, Easter is coming, so I have been reading my Bible.

MR. MIKE: That's always a good idea. I'm proud of you.

DILLY: Aren't you sweeter than a jelly doughnut. Anyway, I was reading about Peter. He said he'd stick with Jesus, then he denied him three times. Fail!

MR. MIKE: That's not very nice.

DILLY: He failed like Elijah in the quiet game.

MR. MIKE: Dilly!

DILLY: Well he did.

MR. MIKE: He was scared. Imagine if Flora was arrested, and you thought you might be next. Don't you think you'd be scared?

DILLY: I'd be as scared as a turkey in November.

MR. MIKE: So you might deny knowing her.

DILLY: Possibly, but Flora isn't Jesus. Peter should have had more faith. I might deny Flora, but I'd never deny Jesus.

MR. MIKE: That's easier said than done.

DILLY: Whatever do you mean?

MR. MIKE: I remember you telling me about the last time you went to the feedstore. You said the clerk was telling you about a problem she was having.

DILLY: I remember. Bless her heart.

MR. MIKE: Did you offer to pray for her?

DILLY: Why no. I'd be embarrassed.

MR. MIKE: The fellow who took your bags out for you. You said you know he doesn't go to church any more. Did you invite him to church?

DILLY: Why no. That's not my place.

MR. MIKE: You mentioned that you don't think your neighbors are Christian. Did you tell them about Jesus?

DILLY: Why no. What would they think of me?

MR. MIKE: You just denied Jesus three times.

DILLY: (clucking) But... But... But...

MR. MIKE: When you don't stand up for Jesus; when you hide your relationship with Jesus, then you've denied Jesus, too.

DILLY: Well, knock me down and steal my teeth. I cannot fathom that I am as bad as Peter. Oh, my! All those people! I must go directly and make amends. (running back and forth) I gotta go to my neighbors. No, I gotta go to the feedstore. No, I gotta go to my neighbors. No, I just gotta go. (exits quickly)

MR. MIKE: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

The Return of the Devil’s Vegetable

2011-04-05T15:25:00.005-05:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 26:47-56, Mark 14:32-42, Luke 22:47-54, John 18:2-12

A lesson about doing the Father’s will.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MATT begins on stage when D.B enters slowly, moaning and groaning.)

MR. MATT: What’s the matter, D.B.?

D.B.: I am sore, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: I’m sorry to hear that.

D.B.: My back is sore.

MR. MATT: I’m sorry.

D.B.: My arms are sore.

MR. MATT: Uh huh.

D.B.: My hands are sore.

MR. MATT: OK.

D.B.: My fingers are sore.

MR. MATT: OK.

D.B.: My knees are sore.

MR. MATT: D.B.

D.B.: My legs are sore.

MR. MATT: D.B.!

D.B.: Even my fuzzy little tail is sore.

MR. MATT: We get it, D.B. You’re sore. Why?

D.B.: I have been planting Brussels sprouts.

MR. MATT: You must really love Brussels sprouts.

D.B.: Oh, I hate them.

MR. MATT: Really?

D.B.: They are vile and nasty.

MR. MATT: I see.

D.B.: They are insidious spheres of detestation.

MR. MATT: Wow!

D.B.: (in a sinister whisper) They are the devil’s vegetable.

MR. MATT: That’s odd. Ozzie said the same thing.

D.B.: We have the same writer.

MR. MATT: OK, so you hate Brussels sprouts. I guess you like working in the dirt.

D.B.: Oh, no. Dirt is so… dirty.

MR. MATT: You did it for the exercise?

D.B.: Nope.

MR. MATT: To get a tan?

D.B.: I am a bunny, silly. I do not get a tan.

MR. MATT: Then why?

D.B.: Because my mommy asked me to do it.

MR. MATT: That’s it?

D.B.: That is it. I love my mommy, so I want to do what she asks me to do.

MR. MATT: Even if you don’t want to do it?

D.B.: Even if I do not want to do it.

MR. MATT: Even cleaning your room?

D.B.: There is no reason to get crazy.

MR. MATT: That is very mature of you. You look exhausted. Why don’t you to and rest.

D.B.: Thank you, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: You’re r welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.

Snack Time

2011-03-29T07:42:00.028-05:00

Scripture Reference: Mark 14:12-26, 1 Corinthians 11:23-26

A lesson about Communion and remembrance.

Cast: OZZIE – an excitable little monster; MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

(OZZIE appears and starts looking around.)

MR. MATT: What are you looking for, Ozzie?

OZZIE: I'm looking for the snack tray I saw you making earlier, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: What are you talking about?

OZZIE: I saw you in the kitchen earlier this morning making a snack tray, but I didn't see where you put it.

MR. MATT: I don't know what you are talking about.

OZZIE: You know. The snack tray. The one with the bread and the juice.

MR. MATT: Oh! That's not a snack tray. That was for Communion.

OZZIE: Communion. Snack. Same thing. Where is it? I'm hungry!

MR. MATT: Ozzie! Communion is so much more than snack time. Communion is... (at this point share what Communion means to you personally)

OZZIE: Well, that's completely different than snack time!

MR. MATT: Very different. I'm glad you can see that.

OZZIE: But I'm still hungry.

MR. MATT: Sorry, I can't help you with that.

OZZIE: I saw Mr. Jeff with bread and juice, too. I'm going to see if he's having snack time. (exits)

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

Rainbows & Unicorns

2011-03-21T09:45:00.004-05:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 26:1-16, Mark 14:1-11, Luke 7:36-50, 22:1-6, John 12:1-11

A lesson about forgiveness.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

DILLY: How y'all doin', Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA: Very well. How are you, Dilly? Finer than frog hair?

DILLY: Not today. Right now, I'm madder than a box of frogs.

MISS REBECCA: Why's that?

DILLY: He just thinks he's all that and then some.

MISS REBECCA: Who?

DILLY: That little bantam rooster. I do believe he thinks he burps rainbows and unicorns.

MISS REBECCA: That does sound like someone who thinks highly of himself. What did he do?

DILLY: We was having a meeting of our Holy Poultry group when that sawed-off little roaster said I should be more grateful for my salvation.

MISS REBECCA: We should all be grateful for our salvation.

DILLY: Well, I am, I suppose. But if anyone should be grateful, it's that bantam. I recall what he was like before he was saved, and I just have one word – (sing-songy) LOSER!

MISS REBECCA: Dilly, that's a terrible thing to say.

DILLY: I still love him as my Christian brother, but he was a capital-L loser, bless his heart.

MISS REBECCA: Dilly! We need to all be thankful, because God has forgiven all of us so much.

DILLY: (under her breath) Some more than others.

MISS REBECCA: Our sin puts all of us farther away from God than any of us can reach on our own. It really doesn't matter if some people are a few more inches farther away.

DILLY: Or feet.

MISS REBECCA: Or feet.

DILLY: Or miles.

MISS REBECCA: Or miles.

DILLY: Or light years.

MISS REBECCA: Dilly, it doesn't matter. We are all sinful and the only way any of us can reach God is through Jesus Christ.

DILLY: But some people are very, very far away.

MISS REBECCA: But the good news is that nobody is too far for Jesus to reach. And nobody is so close that they don't need Jesus, too.

DILLY: Well, slap me silly and call me darlin'. I see what you mean. I should be as grateful as that pip-squeak of a rooster, because Jesus saved both of us.

MISS REBECCA: Exactly!

DILLY: Oh my! I am much obliged, Miss Rebecca. I reckon I should go to that little bantam rooster directly and tell him I have done him a great disservice. I cannot believe I flew off the handle like that with that dear young boy. I need to go at once and make amends. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

2011-03-14T09:39:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Mark 12:41-44, Luke 21:1-4, 2 Chronicles 21:18-26

A lesson about giving.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

D.B.: (enters singing) Once I had a railroad, made it run, made it run against time. Once I had a railroad, now it is gone. Brother, can you spare a time?

MISS REBECCA: Well, that was... What I mean to say is that your singing is... (pause) so why the song,

D.B.? D.B.: I had a spare dime I put in the collection plate, Miss Rebecca, and it made me think of that song.

MISS REBECCA: That was very nice of you, sweetie.

D.B.: Aw shucks! It was just a dime I had leftover from my allowance. You cannot buy anything with a dime, so I put it in the collection plate. I did not have anything better to do with it.

MISS REBECCA: It's very nice of you to give to the church, but your attitude about giving isn't very biblical.

D.B.: What do you mean?

MISS REBECCA: The Bible says we shouldn't give our leftovers. It says that we should give God our first fruits.

D.B.: Then that does not apply to me.

MISS REBECCA: Why?

D.B.: Because I did not buy fruit with my allowance. Just candy.

MISS REBECCA: That's not what that means.

D.B.: Unless God wants my runts.

MISS REBECCA: God doesn't want your runts.

D.B.: Oh, good. Because they are my favorite.

MISS REBECCA: What He wants is for you to give to Him first and not give whatever is left over.

D.B.: Oh So I should have given to God before I bought my candy?

MISS REBECCA: Exactly. The Bible goes even farther, though. It reminds us that it's all really God's to start with, and we should give everything to Him.

D.B.: Then the church would need a much bigger collection plate.

MISS REBECCA: That's not what I...

D.B.: It would be full of toys and candy and...

MISS REBECCA: I didn't mean...

D.B.: cars and houses...

MISS REBECCA: Now you're just getting silly.

D.B.: and dogs and clothes...

MISS REBECCA: D.B.

D.B.: Then people would be coming to church with no clothes on!

MISS REBECCA: D.B.!!

D.B.: (calmly) Yes?

MISS REBECCA: That's not what that means.

D.B.: Phew! That was a very unpleasant mental image.

MISS REBECCA: It means that, since everything is God's, we need to take good care of it and use everything to God's glory.

D.B.: That makes a lot more sense.

MISS REBECCA: I would think so.

D.B.: And does not involve naked people at church.

MISS REBECCA: Yes.

D.B.: I am going to pay God first the next time I get my allowance, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Good for you, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

Monster Church

2011-03-08T13:14:00.003-06:00

Scripture Reference: Mark 11:15-18

A lesson about the church.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE is on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: Hey, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Hi, Ozzie. I haven’t seen you in a long time. I’ve missed you.

OZZIE: I missed you, too. You know (stage whisper) you’re my favorite teacher.

JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can hear you.

OZZIE: (looks down then shrugs) Anyway, I’ve been going to my church for the last few weeks.

MR. MIKE: Oh. What church is that?

OZZIE: Monster Church.

MR. MIKE: Monster Church?

OZZIE: Yeah, that where I go when I don’t come here. It’s a lot like this church, only more hairy.

MR. MIKE: Do you like it there?

OZZIE: It’s swell, but we have a hard time getting grownups to teach us in children’s church.

MR. MIKE: Why’s that?

OZZIE: Would you want to be in a room full of little monsters?

MR. MIKE: I see your point, but you have some grown-ups who help, don’t you?

OZZIE: Oh, sure. And we have lots of fun.

MR. MIKE: Like what?

OZZIE: We sing songs.

MR. MIKE: Bible songs?

OZZIE: No. But we have stories.

MR. MIKE: Bible stories?

OZZIE: No. We do memorize verses.

MR. MIKE: Bible verses?

OZZIE: No.

MR. MIKE: Do you use the Bible at all?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah! We use one to prop up one end of our big screen TV.

MR. MIKE: Big screen TV?

OZZIE: Yeah! This morning we started watching Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. Our teachers say that it has great spiritual significance.

MR. MIKE: Doesn’t anyone actually read the Bible?

OZZIE: Oh, no. The teachers say they have a hard time understanding all of the Bible, so there’s no way we kids could ever understand it.

MR. MIKE: But don’t the teachers here read the Bible when you visit?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah. And they have kids memorize verses.

MR. MIKE: Bible verses?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they have stories.

MR. MIKE: Bible stories?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they sing songs.

MR. MIKE: Bible songs?

OZZIE: Yeah. So kids really can learn stuff from the Bible?

MR. MIKE: They sure can.

OZZIE: I think I’m gonna talk to my teachers about using the Bible more.

MR. MIKE: That’s a great idea, Ozzie.

OZZIE: But I think I’m gonna wait a week before I tell them.

MR. MIKE: Why wait?

OZZIE: Because I want to see how Never Say Never ends. That Justin Bieber is just so cute. (exits)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

We Will Rock You

2011-02-28T13:03:00.003-06:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19:29-44, John 12:12-19

A lesson about praising Jesus, the King.

Cast:
STONES
NARRATOR

Props:
• I made my stones out of foam rubber prop rocks with sticks attached to allow them to dance and move.
• Music (I chose “Every Move I Make” from Shout to the Lord Kids)

(When the music starts, the puppet stage is empty. Once the intro ends, the STONES enter and dance to the music.)

(NARRATOR enters after the music ends.)

NARRATOR: “I tell you,” Jesus replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

Pent & Repent

2011-02-21T06:50:00.003-06:00

Scripture Reference: Luke 19:1-10

A lesson about repentance.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR.MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
none

(MR. MATT is on stage.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Matt?

MR. MATT: Great. How are you, Dilly?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair.

MR. MATT: Glad to hear it.

DILLY: I was wondering if y’all would like to go with me to the shoe sale at Henney Penney.

MR. MATT: I’m not a big fan of shoe shopping. Why don’t you go with Flora?

DILLY: Flora and I are not on speaking terms at present.

MR. MATT: I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?

DILLY: She took offense at once teensy little comment.

MR. MATT: What comment?

DILLY: And I followed it with “bless your heart,” which everyone who’s anybody knows means you cannot take offense.

MR. MATT: What did you say to her, Dilly?

DILLY: I told Flora that she had all the fashion sense of a family of hyperactive baboons at a church rummage sale.

MR. MATT: Dilly! That’s terrible!

DILLY: But I said “bless your heart.”

MR. MATT: That doesn’t matter. That was mean. No wonder Flora’s not talking to you.

DILLY: You have that all wrong. I am not talking to Flora.

MR. MATT: Why are you not talking to Flora?

DILLY: She would not accept my apology.

MR. MATT: And why was that?

DILLY: She said it lacked sincerity.

MR. MATT: How did you apologize?

DILLY: I said I was sorry she has the fashion sense of a three year old on a sugar high, but I still think she’s adorable.

MR. MATT: Dilly! That’s no apology.

DILLY: But I said I was sorry. I cain’t help it if she is as hard-headed as a mosquito trying to bite an iron cow.

MR. MATT: If you are really sorry, then your apology should show you regret what you said.

DILLY: Even if she does have the fashion sense of a yard sale after a tornado?

MR. MATT: Cut that out! You also need to repent.

DILLY: How can I repent when I haven’t even pented?

MR. MATT: No. You need to not only feel bad for what you’ve done, but you need to stop doing it.

DILLY: So I cain’t say that Flora has all the fashion sense of…

MR. MATT: No! If Flora is really your friend, you’ll apologize. If you really mean it, you won’t do it again.

DILLY: Well, tie me down and call me a wagon wheel. I see what you mean, Mr. Matt. Flora is more precious to me than any well-phrased backhanded compliment. I must go at once to Flora and apologize for real (exits quickly)

MR. MATT: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!

The Happiest Place on Earth

2011-02-14T09:48:00.002-06:00

Scripture Reference: John 9:1-12, John 11:1-44

A lesson about showing God's might.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MR. MATT is on stage when OZZIE enters and screams.)

MR. MATT: (surprised) Oh my goodness! What’s wrong, Ozzie?

OZZIE: I’m so mad at my parents!!

MR. MATT: What did they do to make you so angry?

OZZIE: I really, really, really wanted to go to camp this summer.

MR. MATT: Yeah.

OZZIE: Camp Havasandwich.

MR. MATT: So what’s the problem?

OZZIE: So there’s this deadline to get the application in . I told them about the deadline. They said they’d handle it. I reminded them about the deadline. They said they’d handle it. I bugged, badgered, and pestered them about the deadline. They said they’d handle it.

MR. MATT: And?

OZZIE: They didn’t handle it.

MR. MATT: I’m sure there was a good reason.

OZZIE: No, they just didn’t get around to it. They hate me. They don’t treat me like a son. My life is over!

MR. MATT: Your parents still love you.

OZZIE: Nya-uh.

MR. MATT: Yuh-huh.

OZZIE: Nya-uh.

MR. MATT: Yuh-huh.

OZZIE: Nya-uh.

MR. MATT: Yuh-huh.

OZZIE: Nya-… (SQUIGGLY appears) Just a second, Mr. Matt. (OZZIE turns to SQUIGGLY and says in a stage whisper) We were having a very serious discussion, Squiggly. What is it? (pause) Who? (pause) What? (pause) When? (pause) Where? (pause) How? (pause then says loudly) Sweet!!

MR. MATT: What is it?

OZZIE: Squiggly – my bestest pal Squiggly – found out someone was keeping a secret.

MR. MATT: Who?

OZZIE: My parents. They were discussing something very special.

MR. MATT: What?

OZZIE: A trip.

MR. MATT: When?

OZZIE: The week I was supposed to go to camp. And guess where the trip is to.

MR. MATT: Where?

OZZIE: Disney World!! But Squiggly discovered their secret.

MR. MATT: How?

OZZIE: (mysteriously) He has his wormy ways.

SQUIGGLY: (nods proudly)

MR. MATT: So your parents do love you. They didn’t make your reservations for Camp Havasandwich, so they could surprise you with a trip to Disney World.

OZZIE: Oh, yeah. That was awfully nice of them.

MR. MATT: Your parents love you, and they want what’s best for you. It’s just that sometimes it turns out differently than you expected.

OZZIE: I see. Thanks for all the help, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: If you really want to thank me, you could take me to Disney World with you.

OZZIE: Nya-uh. (OZZIE & SQUIGGLY exit)

MR. MATT: Ozzie!

Violet’s Stuff

2011-02-07T08:41:00.005-06:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 19:16-30, Mark 10:17-31, Luke 18:18-30

A lesson about God vs. stuff.

Cast:
VIOLET – a very tightly-wound purple bird
MR. JEFF – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
Lots of stuff (both ordinary and unusual) to toss from the puppet stage

(This skits starts at the end of “The Rich Man” monolog from Traveling Light. After the last line (“He doesn’t understand! I’VE GOT A LOTTA STUFF!”) stuff starts flying from the puppet stage.)

MR. JEFF: What in the world? (walks over to puppet stage, dodging projectiles) Cut it out! (stuff keeps flying; look behind puppet stage) Violet, is that you?

VIOLET: (appears and says frantically) What?!?

MR. JEFF: Look at this mess you made. What are you doing?

VIOLET: Getting rid of all my stuff.

MR. JEFF: Why?

VIOLET: Don’t you even listen to yourself?

MR. JEFF: Not always. What did I say?

VIOLET: That Jesus told that guy to get rid of all his stuff.

MR. JEFF: Yeah, but that doesn’t explain why your trashing our classroom.

VIOLET: Don’t you get it?! If I don’t get rid of all this stuff I can’t go to heaven!

MR. JEFF: I’m not sure you heard the story right.

VIOLET: You might not have been listening, but I was paying close attention. Jesus definitely told that guy to get rid of all his stuff. So… (exits and stuff starts flying again)

MR. JEFF: Violet!

VIOLET: (enters) What?

MR. JEFF: Let’s go at this differently What do you have to do to be saved?

VIOLET: Have faith that Jesus Christ died for the forgiveness of my sins.

MR. JEFF: Exactly. Does that have anything to do with stuff?

VIOLET: No! But Jesus told that guy to sell his stuff!

MR. JEFF: That was an instruction to that one person. The man in the story didn’t understand what it meant to be saved. He thought if he was good enough, he’d be saved. Jesus tried to show this to him by giving him something impossible for him to do.

VIOLET: So Jesus didn’t want him to be saved?

MR. JEFF: No, the Bible tells us that God desires all to be saved.

VIOLET: So it was impossible for him to be saved?

MR. JEFF: It was impossible for him to save himself. When the disciples asked Jesus who can be saved, he said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

VIOLET: So why did Jesus tell the guys to sell his stuff?

MR. JEFF: There’s just one way to God, and that’s through Jesus Christ. For the rich man, his stuff was blocking the way.

VIOLET: Oh.

MR. JEFF: We all need to remove whatever is blocking our way to God. It may be stuff or pride or fear or ignorance. We can help people clear the way, but only God can save anyone.

VIOLET: Well, I knew that!

MR. JEFF: (looking around at all the stuff on the ground) Oh, really?

VIOLET: Oh, that.

MR. JEFF: Yeah, that.

VIOLET: Um… I think I hear the phone ringing. Gotta go. Bye. (exits)

MR. JEFF: Bye, Violet.

Knocks Your Socks Off

2011-01-31T10:00:00.006-06:00

Scripture Reference: Luke 17:11-19

A lesson about thankfulness.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
Toe socks

(D.B. enters but does not speak. He is obviously in a bad mood.)

MISS REBECCA: Hey, D.B.

D.B.: Oh, hi, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: You don’t seem to be in a very good mood, sweetie. What’s wrong?

D.B.: My mamma wants me to write my gramma a thank you note for my Christmas present.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a very nice thing to do. What’s the problem?

D.B.: I am not thankful for my Christmas present.

MISS REBECCA: That’s not a very nice thing to say.

D.B.: But it is true.

MISS REBECCA: What’s wrong with your Christmas present?

D.B.: She bought me socks.

MISS REBECCA: Socks can be a good present.

D.B.: But I am a puppet, and I do not have any feet.

MISS REBECCA: Well, there is that. Maybe you could wear them as ear warmers.

D.B.: They are TOE socks. (produces socks in question)

MISS REBECCA: Ah. Well, you should still be thankful that your gramma loves you enough to buy you a present.

D.B.: You sound like my mamma.

MISS REBECCA: She must be a very wise woman.

D.B.: She is, but she is wrong this time.

MISS REBECCA: Maybe you’re right.

D.B.: Huh?

MISS REBECCA: Why write a thank you note for a crumby gift?

D.B.: Yeah!

MISS REBECCA: Sounds like your gramma is a very mean, uncaring grandmother.

D.B.: Wait a minute…

MISS REBECCA: Toe socks. She’s obviously a terrible person.

D.B.: No, she is not! She is a wonderful person!

MISS REBECCA: I don’t know.

D.B.: She is. Whenever I spend the night, she always makes my favorite foods, and we watch my favorite movies, and she has my favorite candy – carrot M&M’s.

MISS REBECCA: That is nice, but she obviously doesn’t love you enough to buy you any good presents.

D.B.: She does too! For my last birthday, she bought me a light saber and the Lego Watership Down video game. And last Christmas, she bought me the Star Hares Trilogy on DVD.

MISS REBECCA: Yeah, but toe socks. What was she thinking?

D.B.: She was thinking that she loves me.

MISS REBECCA: Exactly.

D.B.: Besides, I could wear them as ear warmers.

MISS REBECCA: What a good idea.

D.B.: And… Wait a minute. You tricked me.

MISS REBECCA: (innocently) Tricked you?

D.B.: You tricked me into being thankful for my Christmas present.

MISS REBECCA: I didn’t trick you so much as remind you of all you have to be thankful for.

D.B.: I am going to write my gramma the most sweetest thank you card ever.

MISS REBECCA: That’s a great idea.

D.B.: Thanks, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: You’re welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

By His Strength

2011-01-24T15:43:00.003-06:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 17:14-21, Mark 9:14-29, Luke 9:37-49

A lesson about faith and prayer.

Cast:

DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight

MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:

none

(MISS REBECCA is on stage.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Miss Rebecca?

MISS REBECCA: Fantastic! How are you today, Miss Dilly?

DILLY: I’m finer than frog hair.

MISS REBECCA: I seem to recall hearing last summer that you were raising money to build chicken coops for homeless chickens.

DILLY: Yes, the Lord laid that burden on my heart, and I have been diligently obedient to that calling.

MISS REBECCA: I’m glad to hear that. How’s it going?

DILLY: Well, lately raising money has been about as easy as trying to steer a herd of cats.

MISS REBECCA: I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?

DILLY: With the bad economy, people are tighter than my Aunt Bessie’s corset. No matter what we do, we’re having trouble raising money.

MISS REBECCA: What have you tried?

DILLY: We tried a kissing booth. We even had that cute Elly Mae working. She’s a cute as a basket full of speckled puppies.

MISS REBECCA: How’d that work out.

DILLY: Not so good. It turns out that chickens to not have lips. She nearly put out the eyes of three roosters before we had to shut it down.S

MISS REBECCA: That’s too bad. What else did you try?

DILLY: Next we had a picnic. It was in a very lovely park, and we even had it catered.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like a good idea.

DILLY: It was, but unfortunately, the caterer served fried chicken.

MISS REBECCA: But everyone likes fried… Oh!

DILLY: Oh, indeed. That caterer was as sharp as a bagful of wet mice.

MISS REBECCA: I hope you won’t give up. It is such a good cause.

DILLY: I won’t give up ‘til the gravy’s cold, but I am running out of ideas.

MISS REBECCA: Have you prayed about it?

DILLY: Oh heavens no!

MISS REBECCA: No? Why not?

DILLY: This is a special mission given to me by God. I’m not about to go back to Him and tell Him I can’t do it.

MISS REBECCA: Prayer isn’t giving up. God chose you, but He didn’t intend for you to do it alone.

DILLY: Well, I do have Flora helping me.

MISS REBECCA: That’s great, but I mean that God wants to help you. We aren’t suppose to do His work by our own strength but by His strength.

DILLY: Well, if that don’t sauté my gizzard. That is such a relief. It’s exhausting do this by myself.

MISS REBECCA: Some things can be worked out only by prayer.

DILLY: Well, I couldn’t be more excited if there was a shoe sale. I just know we are going to make tremendous progress now with God’s help. I must go at once and start praying. (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!

Backstage Epiphany

2011-01-17T07:36:00.004-06:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 17:1-13, Mark 9:2-13, Luke 9:28-36

A lesson about mountaintop experiences.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MR.MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

MR. MIKE: (after praying) Time to turn your attention to the puppet stage for our puppet show. (long pause) Our puppet show! (long pause) Are you back there, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Yes.

MR. MIKE: Are you coming out?

OZZIE: No.

MR. MIKE: Be a good fellow and come out and talk to the kids.

OZZIE: Um… No.

MR. MIKE: Why not?

OZZIE: Well, Mr. Mike, I was back here praying while you and the kids were praying.

MR. MIKE: That’s good.

OZZIE: And I had a deep spiritual experience.

MR. MIKE: That’s wonderful, Ozzie. But why aren’t you coming out?

OZZIE: I’ve realized that this is a special place, because I heard from God here. So I’ve decided to stay backstage.

MR. MIKE: For how long?

OZZIE: Forever.

MR. MIKE: Forever?

OZZIE: That’s the plan.

MR. MIKE: How do you plan to eat?

OZZIE: (mystically) I figured God would send ravens to feed me and tend to my needs. (casually) Or Squiggly can fetch me some Twinkies.

SQUIGGLY: (appears and nods)

MR. MIKE: What about school?

OZZIE: I won’t miss school. Besides, Squiggly can bring me my homework.

SQUIGGLY: (nods)

MR. MIKE: What about chores at home?

OZZIE: I’m spending time with God here. I’m sure my mom will understand. If not, then Squiggly can do my chores for me.

SQUIGGLY: (shakes head no)

MR. MIKE: But what about all the fine boys and girls?

OZZIE: What about them?

MR. MIKE: They are waiting on you. They learn so much from you.

OZZIE: You don’t say.

MR. MIKE: I do say. The kids need you, Ozzie.

OZZIE: Squiggly can handle it.

SQUIGGLY: (faints)

MR. MIKE: Apparently not. It’s great to spend time in God’s presence, but God also wants you doing things to make a difference in people’s lives and telling people about Him.

OZZIE: Seriously?

MR. MIKE: Seriously. Now be a good fellow and come on out.

OZZIE: (appears) OK. (pause) Now what?

MR. MIKE: Share with them our lesson for today.

OZZIE: (very seriously) Our lesson for today is… (dramatic pause, clears throat, the says quickly) what Mr. Mike said. (disappears)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

Carotene 200

2011-01-10T13:49:00.004-06:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:22-33, Mark 6:45-52, John 6:16-21

A lesson about keeping your eyes on Jesus.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. ELIJAH – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
A big carrot (preferably with leaves)

(MR. ELIJAH begins on stage.)

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Elijah.

MR. ELIJAH: D.B., just the bunny I wanted to see. I have a message for you from your mother.

D.B.: Really? What did she…? (spots the carrot) Oooo!

MR. ELIJAH: What’s the matter, D.B.?

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: D.B.?

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: (waving hand in from his face) D.B.!

D.B.: (still staring) Huh?

MR. ELIJAH: What you staring at?

D.B.: (dreamily) That.

MR. ELIJAH: You mean the carrot?

D.B.: That is not just any carrot. That is a Carotene 200.

MR. ELIJAH: A what?

D.B.: A Carotene 200. A selection of the Autumn King type, with deep orange, heavy conical carrots up to 27cm in length, with strong foliage. It keeps well in the ground and stores for a long period, keeping its flavor. 475 seeds.

MR. ELIJAH: How do you know so much about carrots?

D.B.: I am a rabbit, silly. (still staring at the carrot)

MR. ELIJAH: Anyway, your mom wanted me to tell you that she won’t be home after church, so you’re suppose to go to your Uncle Thumper’s house.

D.B.: (no response)

MR. ELIJAH: D.B., are you listening?

D.B.: (snapping out of it) What? Of course I am listening.

MR. ELIJAH: We, you didn’t seem to be…

D.B.: I am a very good listener.

MR. ELIJAH: I’m sure you are, but…

D.B.: After all, I have great big rabbit ears.

MR. ELIJAH: So does my television, but that doesn’t make it a good listener. So tell me what I said.

D.B.: Huh?

MR. ELIJAH: If you were listening, what did I say?

D.B.: What did you say? Um… You said she’s going to play bunco with a rubber mouse.

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go juggle a grumpy louse?

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go smuggle a lumpy grouse?

MR. ELIJAH: No.

D.B.: Go snorkel a monkey joust?

MR. ELIJAH: That doesn’t even make sense.

D.B.: No, I guess not. I am sorry. I was so distracted by the Carotene 200 (looks & sighs) that I did not really listen. Please tell me again what my mom said.

MR. ELIJAH: She said to go to your Uncle Thumper’s house.

D.B.: That makes a lot more sense.

MR. ELIJAH: I imagine it does.

D.B.: Is that all, Mr. Elijah?

MR. ELIJAH: That’s it, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Elijah.

MR. ELIJAH: Bye, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Carotene 200. (exits)

Looking for a Sleight Advantage

2011-01-03T08:50:00.005-06:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 14:13-21, Mark 6:31-34, Luke 9:10-17, John 6:5-15

A lesson about the Bread of Life.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
none

(MR. MATT begins on stage.)

DILLY: Mr. Matt!

MR. MATT: Hi, Dilly. How’s it going?

DILLY: I’m as frazzled as a handful of Twizzlers.

MR. MATT: What’s the matter?

DILLY: I’m having a little luncheon at my house today, and I have been working around the cluck to get it ready.

MR. MATT: Do you need some help setting up?

DILLY: I have some help. Flora is helping, and that’s the problem.

MR. MATT: Why is Flora the problem?

DILLY: Don’t get me wrong, Flora is an outstanding worker, but she is a softy, bless her heart.

MR. MATT: What’s wrong with that?

DILLY: In this case, she felt bad that some had not been invited to my luncheon and proceeded to invite them.

MR. MATT: That was nice of her.

DILLY: But she did not consider that some of them are the hoi polloi, and I had chosen not to invite them.

MR. MATT: Anyway, what do you need me for?

DILLY: Well, we are sorely lacking in victuals, so I was hoping you could show me that trick that Jesus did.

MR. MATT: What trick are you talking about?

DILLY: Y’all know that one. When he fed the 5000 folks that bitty bit of fish and bread. Knowing that would be as useful as a shirt pocket.

MR. MATT: That wasn’t a trick; that was a miracle.

DILLY: I’ll say. And it’ll take a miracle to pull off this luncheon after what Flora did.

MR. MATT: No, I mean it wasn’t a sleight of hand. Jesus performed a miracle when He fed the 5000 with five loaves and two fish.

DILLY: That’s what I’m getting at. How can I do that? And does it work with feed corn?

MR. MATT: He didn’t pull more food out of His sleeve or from behind someone’s ear. Jesus created the food.

DILLY: Well, I can’t do that!

MR. MATT: Exactly. Jesus is God and, despite what you may think, you aren’t.

DILLY: Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud! I get it now! How excitin’! We can make do with the food we have or have potluck or figure something out. I now have the most scintillating topic of discussion for our luncheon. I must find Flora and share the news. (exits)

MR. MATT: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Birthday Jesus by onetimeblind

2010-12-23T09:58:00.001-06:00

The Man and the Birds by Paul Harvey

2010-12-22T14:22:00.001-06:00

The man to whom I'm going to introduce you was not a Scrooge; he was a kind, decent, mostly good man; generous to his family, upright in his dealings with other men. But he just didn't believe all that stuff the churches proclaim at Christmas time. It just didn't make sense and he was too honest to pretend otherwise. He just couldn't swallow the Jesus story, about God coming to earth as a man.

"I'm truly sorry to distress you," he told his wife, "but I'm not going with you to church this Christmas Eve." He said he'd feel like a hypocrite. That he'd much rather just stay at home, but he would wait up for them. And so he stayed home while they went to the service.

Shortly after the family drove away in the car, snow began to fall. He went to the window to watch the flurries getting heavier and heavier and then walked back to his fireside chair to read his newspaper. Minutes later he was startled by a thudding sound . . . then another, and then another. Sort of a thump or a thud. At first he thought someone must have been throwing snowballs against his living room window. But when he went to the front door to investigate he found a flock of birds huddled miserably in the snow. They'd been caught in the storm and, in a desperate search for shelter, had tried to fly through his large picture window.

Well, he couldn't let the poor creatures lie there and freeze, so he remembered the barn where his children stabled their pony. That would provide a warm shelter, if he could direct the birds to it. Quickly he put on a coat, galoshes, and tramped through the deepening snow to the barn. He opened the doors wide and turned on a light, but the birds did not come in. He figured food would entice them in. So he hurried back to the house, fetched bread crumbs, sprinkled them on the snow, making a trail to the yellow-lighted wide open doorway of the stable. But to his dismay, the birds ignored the bread crumbs, and continued to flap around helplessly in the snow. He tried catching them . . . He tried shooing them into the barn by walking around them waving his arms. Instead, they scattered in every direction, except into the warm, lighted barn.

And then, he realized that they were afraid of him. To them, he reasoned, I am a strange and terrifying creature. If only I could think of some way to let them know that they can trust me . . . that I am not trying to hurt them, but to help them. But how? Any move he made tended to frighten them or confuse them. They just would not follow. They would not be led or shooed because they feared him.

"If only I could be a bird," he thought to himself, "and mingle with them and speak their language. Then I could tell them not to be afraid. Then I could show them the way to the safe, warm . . . to the safe warm barn. But I would have to be one of them, so they could see and hear and understand." At that moment the church bells began to ring. The sound reached his ears above the sounds of the wind. And he stood there listening to the bells ringing the glad tidings of Christmas. And he sank to his knees in the snow.

Faith of the Centurion

2010-11-22T07:52:00.003-06:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 8:5-13, Luke 7:2-10

A lesson about faith and authority.

Cast:
A Roman Centurion

Costume:
Though no costume is needed, could wear something that hints at military.

CENTURION: I am a Roman Centurion. As my name implies, I am in authority over 100 men, Rome’s finest soldiers. They are fine fighting men, because they understand how to follow orders. Authority and obedience are very important in a soldier. If a man is in battle, it can cost him his life if he does not immediately obey an order without question. I got where I am today, because I understand command and authority. Being a soldier is my career and my life.

That is why when I was sent to Israel, this land forsaken by the gods, I did not question my orders but obeyed. But I can tell you that I was none too pleased. It is not a great honor to be stationed here for it is an odd place. These Jews are a poor people. They are so poor that they have only one god, and they don’t even know what he looks like. We Romans have hundreds of gods with statues of them all over the place. But I have to admit, that the more time I spend here, the more uneasy I become about their God. They seem to draw strength from their God. Our gods don’t do anything. And though the Emperor claims to be a god, no one really believes it.

Then there is this Rabbi who is causing quite a stir. His name is Jesus. They claim he is the Christos, or Messiah in their language. He claims to be their God’s son. Normally, I wouldn’t give any credence to such a claim, but I have heard stories of supernatural occurrences – miracles. The blind seeing, the lame walking, demons cast out, even the dead raised. Not a one of our pantheon of gods can do this. Not even our physicians, the best in the world, can do these things. There is obviously something more to this man than the many charlatans making wild religious claims all over this strange land.

Then one day, one of my servants became gravely ill. He became paralyzed and was suffering terribly. He was about to die. This servant was very dear to me; he was like a son. I went to the rabbi and asked him to heal my servant. He said He would come to my home and heal him. I knew enough about these Jews to know that I was considered a Gentile and therefore unclean. I could not ask the rabbi to degrade himself by coming to my home, so I said to him, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."

I guess the rabbi was impressed by this, because he turned to the crowd and said, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." He then turned to me and said, “Go! It will be done just as you believed it would."

When I arrived home, I discovered that my servant had been healed at that very hour.

A Family Christmas

2010-11-08T11:17:00.004-06:00

by Jeff & Kelli Childs

Cast:
FATHER & MOTHER – parents of a very large family
HANNA – the grumpy one
CALLIE – the know-it-all
ELIJAH – the Star Wars buff
HAYLEY – the cheerleader
NIKKI – the diva
DALTON – the sleepyhead
AMANDA – the bookworm

Props:
Bible with large-font printed verses inserted.
Stuffed animal for Hanna
Large text book for Callie
Light sabers for Elijah & Dalton
Pom-poms for Hayley
Tiara for Nikki
Nativity set

Costumes:
Father and Mother are dressed for an evening at home.
The children are dressed in Christmas pajamas.

Scene opens with MOTHER & FATHER sitting in chairs reading their Bibles. FATHER hears noises from the hall.

FATHER: Are you kids ready for bed? Come on in.

Children come in dressed for bed. Each comes in and starts doing something in character – e.g., DALTON and ELIJAH are having a light saber fight, HAYLEY is doing a cheer. The other children can be playing or trying to get Father to read their book.

FATHER waits patiently then speaks.

FATHER: Quiet everyone! Have a seat!

The children stop playing and gather around the parents.

FATHER: Okay, okay. Tonight we're going read the Christmas story. I think this year you all are old enough to read it for yourselves. (Offering Bible.) Who wants to read first?

HANNA:I will. (Takes Bible.) Where should I start? (Starts flipping through Bible.)

FATHER: Let’s start in the book of Isaiah.

AMANDA: (annoyed) Isaiah?!? That’s the Old Testament. The Christmas story is in the New Testament.

FATHER: But the story of Jesus starts with the prophecies of His birth. Check out these verses in Isaiah written about 700 years before Jesus was born. Hanna you start, and Amanda you finish. (FATHER opens Bible to reading for HANNA.)

HANNA: The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.

AMANDA: For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

MOTHER: Just like the people of Israel were in darkness until the Messiah came, people today live in darkness until Jesus comes to live in their hearts.

CALLIE: (showing off) You know, Jesus is sometimes called Emmanuel, which means "God with us."

FATHER: Very good, Callie. Will you read next for us, please. Luke 1:26-38.

CALLIE: In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."

"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"

The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God."

"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.

MOTHER: Even though Mary was afraid, she trusted God and was obedient.

FATHER: Let's sing a Christmas song. What would you guys like to sing?

CALLIE and HANNA both put their hands up, but CALLIE answers first.

CALLIE: Silent Night!

All sing. Hanna pouts.

FATHER: That was great. Let's read next about Jesus’ birth? (Noticing that ELIJAH is distracted by his light saber.) Elijah, would you please read Luke 2.

ELIJAH: (once he realizes he has been spoken to, takes Bible and reads)

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

What's a manger?

FATHER: A manger is a food trough or box. It was what the cows ate from. It was a weird place to put a baby, but remember they were in a barn. It had a dirt floor covered with animal droppings. (CHILDREN say “Ew!” and “Ick!”) The manger was probably the cleanest place in there.

MOTHER: Now that you know what a manger is, can you think of song with that in it?

ELIJAH and HANNA both put their hands up, but ELIJAH answers first.

ELIJAH: Away in a Manger.

All sing. Hanna pouts.

FATHER: And who wants to read about the shepherds?

HAYLEY: (jumping up & shaking her pom-poms, cheers) I do, I do, I-I-I-I-I-I do!

FATHER: Hmm. How about Hayley. Pick up the story at verse 8.

HAYLEY: And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.

FATHER: Think about it. God sent the most important birth announcement ever to this group of dirty, poor men that nobody even wanted to be around.

MOTHER: Let's sing a another song. What should we sing next?

HAYLEY and HANNA both put their hands up, but HAYLEY answers first.

HAYLEY: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.

All sing. Hanna pouts.

FATHER: Let’s see. We’ve had Mary and Joseph, the angels, the shepherds. Who are we missing?

NIKKI: (very importantly) The wise men!

FATHER: That’s right! Would you read about the wise men, Nikki, in Matthew 2 please.

NIKKI: After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him."

When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born. "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written:
"'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for out of you will come a ruler
who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'"

Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him."

After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh.

MOTHER: By faith the wise men followed the star, and it led them to the King, the baby Jesus.

FATHER: And they brought with them the things they valued most: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. They laid these gifts before the baby Jesus as a sign worship and obedience.

MOTHER: We can do that, too.

CHILDREN: How?

MOTHER: By surrendering the things that we value most to Jesus. Not just our stuff, but our talents, too.

FATHER: And when we all do that, it will truly bring Joy to the World.

MOTHER: (Smiling) That would make a great song title.

FATHER: (Chuckling) Yes, it would. Why don't we sing Joy to the World?

As everyone sings, one child at a time gets quiet and looks at the thing he/she values most (light saber, tiara, etc.) and lays it in front of the manger then rejoins the singing. Finally, HANNA lays down her stuffed animal, kneels, and prays. When she's done, she smiles and joins in the singing.

FATHER: Okay, kids, it's getting late. Off to bed for all of you.

The CHILDREN leave with hugs and good-nights.

All CHILDREN leave except DALTON, who is asleep. FATHER walks over, picks him up, and carries him out. MOTHER turns out the light and follows them out.

Blessed Are

2010-11-01T10:03:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 5:1-12

A lesson about the Beatitudes.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. ELIJAH – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
Bible (NIV) – the verses are written in the skit, but the Bible should be opened as if they are being read from Matthew

(MR. ELIJAH begins on stage.)

MR. ELIJAH: While we’re waiting for Dilly, I’m going to go ahead and start reading today’s Bible passage. Starting with Matthew 5:1, “Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them saying: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

DILLY: (enters as Mr. Elijah starts reading) I don’t think you read that correctly, Mr. Elijah.

MR. ELIJAH: Oh. Hi, Dilly. I’m sure I read that correctly. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

DILLY: Then you must have a faulty translation. Why in the world would God give the kingdom of heaven to the poor?

MR. ELIJAH: The translation is just fine. And it’s the “poor in spirit.”

DILLY: Okay, so why would God give his kingdom to some poor spirit?

MR. ELIJAH: It means God will bless those who recognize their need for Him.

DILLY: I am still unconvinced. But continue.

MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

DILLY: That’s very nice of Him.

MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”

DILLY: Well, don’t that just pop out your monocle. First, the poor get heaven, now them mousy folk get the earth. I just can’t believe it.

MR. ELIJAH: Meek doesn’t mean mousy or weak. It means being humble. It means submitting yourself to God.

DILLY: Are you saying God doesn’t want be strong he-man types?

MR. ELIJAH: God wants all types, but only those who let God work through them are blessed.

DILLY: Hmmm. Continue.

MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”

DILLY: Isn’t that lovely.

MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”

DILLY: That seems equitable.

MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”

DILLY: I certainly plan to.

MR. ELIJAH: Don’t forget that God blesses the humble, Dilly.

DILLY: Are you saying that I’m getting’ too big for my britches?

MR. ELIJAH: I’m just saying.

DILLY: I do declare. Continue.

MR. ELIJAH: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

DILLY: Now wait just a cotton-pickin’ minute. I am blessed when I am insulted, persecuted, and have tales told on me?

MR. ELIJAH: That’s what the book says.

DILLY: And I am suppose to have a little shindig when this happens?

MR. ELIJAH: It says, “Rejoice and be glad.”

DILLY: Then I want to know where you got that shirt. I do believe it fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on its way down.

MR. ELIJAH: What does that have to do with anything?

DILLY: You have been insulted. Why are you not doing a little happy dance and rejoicing?

MR. ELIJAH: Ah! Jesus is talking about being insulted and lied about because of the work you’re doing for Him, not because your fashion sense has been questioned.

DILLY: But how is that possible? How are any of these things possible?

MR. ELIJAH: Because “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

DILLY: Oh, that old saw. That’s just for weak folks.

MR. ELIJAH: We are all weak folks, Dilly. That’s what Jesus is saying. Once we recognize our weakness, humble ourselves, and acknowledge our need, then we are blessed and truly happy. It is only in our weakness that He is strong.

DILLY: Well, bust my buttons. I never thought of it that way. How thrillin’! I must go to Flora at once and tell her. She is much weaker than I, so she must be even more blessed. Oh, Flora! Flora! (exits)

MR. ELIJAH: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

Musical Chairs

2010-10-27T07:29:00.003-05:00

I used this game to review the names of the disciples, but it could be used for the full armor of God, the fruit of the Spirit, the Ten Commandments, or the books of the Bible.

Play a game of musical chairs. When one person is left standing, he has a chance to save himself by naming one of the disciples. Post correct answers to take it out of play. This prevents the same name from being said over and over. The game ends when all 12 disciples have been named or there is one person left.

Cumbered About Much

2010-10-25T10:28:00.002-05:00

Scripture Reference: Luke 10:38-41

A lesson about the better part.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MR.MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
Work SFX
Bible map

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

MR. MIKE: Today we are going to study the story of Mary and Martha.

(OZZIE and SQUIGGLY enter.)

OZZIE: Hi,. Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Hi, Ozzie. Hi, Squiggly.

OZZIE: Whatha doin’?

MR. MIKE: I was just telling the kids about Mary and Martha.

OZZIE: Are they your sisters?

MR. MIKE: They’re women in the Bible.

OZZIE: Your sisters are in the Bible?!? Did you hear that, Squiggly? Mr. Mike’s sisters are famous!

MR. MIKE: No, they aren’t my sisters. They are sisters, and they are in the Bible.

OZZIE: Oh. Do you mind if Squiggly and I listen, too?

MR. MIKE: No, not at all.

(While MR. MIKE talks, OZZIE keeps leaving and sounds of work can be heard. SQUIGGLY stays on stage the whole time.)

MR. MIKE: Mary and Martha lived in Bethany, which is a small town east of Jerusalem on the south-eastern slop of the Mount of Olives. Here. (shows on map)Mary and Martha had a brother named Lazarus, who is not in today’s story, but we will meet him later on.In today’s story, Jesus and his disciples come to the sisters’ house. Mary sits at the feet of Jesus and listens to him teach. This would have been quite controversial at the time, because that meant she was in the position of a disciple. In the first century, a woman was not usually accepted by a teacher as a disciple. This is a sign of Jesus’ love and his desire to have all people come to him.In the meantime, Martha is distracted, because she’s so busy trying to get everything ready for Jesus and the disciples. She wasn’t paying any attention, just like… OZZIE!

OZZIE: Huh?

MR. MIKE: What are you doing?

OZZIE: Multi-tasking.

MR. MIKE: Multi-tasking?

OZZIE: Yes, sir. I’m listening to you and getting some work done.

MR. MIKE: Really? So what have I been talking about?

OZZIE: Talking about? Um… Your sisters who live in, um, Ankeny had uh party for their friends, er uh, Jesse and Thaddeus.

MR. MIKE: Wow!

OZZIE: See. I told you I was paying attention.

MR. MIKE: No, you got everything wrong.

OZZIE: Everything?

MR. MIKE: Everything.

OZZIE: Really?

MR. MIKE: Really.

OZZIE: Oh, nerts.

MR. MIKE: I guess we’ll just call you Martha.

OZZIE: No, my name is Ozzie. I thought we’d met before.

MR. MIKE: We have. I mean you were acting like Martha in the story and working instead of paying attention.

OZZIE: So work is bad?

MR. MIKE: No, not at all. But being busy doesn’t take the place of paying attention to what’s important.

OZZIE: Sorry about that, Mr. Mike. I’ll pay better attention next time.

MR. MIKE: That’s a good fellow.

OZZIE: C’mon, Squiggly, it’s time to go. (exits)

(SQUIGGLY stays on stage.)

MR. MIKE: Squiggly, I really appreciate you paying attention today, but I think it’s time for you to go.

SQUIGGLY: (snores)

(OZZIE enters and nudges SQUIGGLY. OZZIE and SQUIGGLY exit.)

MR. MIKE: SQUIGGLY!

D.B.’s Choice

2010-10-11T14:25:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: John 2:1-11

A lesson about Jesus is greater.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MISS REBECCA begins on stage when D.B. enters.)

D.B.: Miss Rebecca, I need your help.

MISS REBECCA: What’s up, D.B.?

D.B.: I have a special carrot…

MISS REBECCA: You have a special carrot?

D.B.: Yes, and its name is Burt.

MISS REBECCA: You named your carrot?

D.B.: It would not be very special if it did not have a name.

MISS REBECCA: I suppose not. Do you name all of your vegetables?

D.B.: Of course not. That would just be silly.

MISS REBECCA: Well, except you named…

D.B.: Imagine naming a rutabaga.

MISS REBECCA: I suppose not…

D.B.: People would think I was some sort of weirdo.

MISS REBECCA: Maybe, but…

D.B.: Naming vegetables. How ridikalus.

MISS REBECCA: You’re right. Sorry. So what is your dilemma?

D.B.: I do not have a dilemma, but I do have a situation that requires a choice between options that are or seem equally unfavorable or mutually exclusive.

MISS REBECCA: Okay. And it involves your carrot Burt?

D.B.: Yes, I have had Burt for a very long time, and my father wants me to get rid of him.

MISS REBECCA: How long have you had Burt?

D.B.: Ever since I was a kit.

MISS REBECCA: That’s a long time.

D.B.: It is. And he has changed over the years.

MISS REBECCA: How so?

D.B.: He has gotten kinda squishy.

MISS REBECCA: Uh-huh.

D.B.: And wrinkly.

MISS REBECCA: Yeah.

D.B.: And gray.

MISS REBECCA: Ew! I can’t imagine why your dad would want you to get rid of that.

D.B.: I know. He said if I throw it away, he would give me a new carrot made of metal.

MISS REBECCA: So let me get this straight. If you get rid of your nasty, old, shriveled-up carrot, your dad will give you one made of metal that will never go bad?

D.B.: That is correct.

MISS REBECCA: And why are having trouble making a choice?

D.B.: I know the new carrot is nice and shiny and will never get wrinkly and gray, but I have had Burt for so very long.

MISS REBECCA: And can you do anything with Burt?

D.B.: Not really. I think he is starting to melt. Whenever I pick him up he is all wet and gooey.

MISS REBECCA: And how does it smell?

D.B.: I did not want to say anything, but he is not smelling so good.

MISS REBECCA: So the only reason you’re keeping your old carrot is because you’ve had it for a long time?

D.B.: I suppose you are correct.

MISS REBECCA: Doesn’t it make sense to trade your gooey, stinky carrot for something better?

D.B.: When you put it that way, I guess it is not really a very hard decision.

MISS REBECCA: Not really.

D.B.: I think I will name my new extra-special carrot Grace.

MISS REBECCA: That sounds like an outstanding idea.

D.B.: Thanks, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: You’re welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

The Bible Is Our Standard

2010-10-05T11:07:00.002-05:00

Supplies: paper, pencils/pens, scissors, Bible

Verse(s): Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-13, Proverbs 20:10

Goal: Today we studied Jesus being tempted in the desert by Satan. Not only did Jesus use Scriptures as a shield against Satan's temptation, he used them as a standard to measure the devil's words. This was especially true when the devil (mis)quoted scripture.

Set-up/Introduction: Have the kids trace one of their feet on a piece of paper and cut it out. Depending on the number of kids, this could be done individually or in groups.

Activity: Have each person or group measure the length of the room with the foot they cut out and record their findings. (The teacher might want to do this also to provide a bigger contrast.)

Ask why the differences in measurements? Did we all measure in feet?

This is how people use to measure: A foot was a man's foot, hands for measuring horses, a span was the width of a man's outstretched hand, a cubit (Latin for "elbow") was the distance from the elbow to the finger tips, and yard is the distance from the fingers to the nose or the waist measurement of a man. Obviously, these are going to vary from person to person.

"It finally occurred to people to establish a 'standard yard' and never mind what your own measurements are. According to tradition, a standard yard was originally adjusted to the length of the fingertips of King Henry I of England to his nose. (And the standard foot is suppose to be based on the foot of Charlemagne.)
"Naturally, the King of England can't travel from village to village measuring out lengths of cloth from his nose to his fingertips. Instead a stick is held up against him and marks are made at this nose and his fingertips. The distance between the marks is a standard yard."

In Washington they have the Bureau of Standards. They have weights and measuring sticks that represent the standard for knowing what a pound, a foot, etc. are. These are kept in a special climate-controlled environment to keep them from changing. A true standard had to be unchanging and based on something reliable.

As you can see it is important to have a standard or an authority we all use for measuring. Without a standard we don't get the same answer, and none of us got the right answer. In fact Proverbs 20:10 says, "Differing weights and differing measures- the Lord detests them both."

Conclusion: The same is true for our faith. When it is based on ourselves or others, it is going to be constantly changing. It has to based on something permanent and eternal, or we don't have a standard.

The standard cannot be "the man in the mirror" or our feelings any more that the standard for measuring a yard is the distance from each person's nose to his fingertips. The standard must be objective and universal.

The first definition of authority seems to be a pretty good one: a citation (as from a book or file) used in defense or support. An example would be that I use the Bible as an authority. If I hear or read something, I test it against what the Bible says. If it is in agreement, I believe it. If it is not, I do not. The Bible is the standard against which I test ideas. That standard we use as Christians is the Word of God as revealed through the Bible.

Jesus tells the story of the wise man who built his house on the rock and the foolish man who built his house on shifting sand. I fear you are building your house on shifting sand. The only solid ground we have is God, "our Rock and our Redeemer", and the Bible is His love letter to us telling us all we need to live and know Him.

Source: Some facts were taken from Asimov on Numbers by Isaac Asimov

The Devil’s Vegetable

2010-10-04T10:15:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-13

A lesson about temptation and God’s way.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE begins on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: (enters yelling and waving arms in a Taz-like fashion)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie?

OZZIE: (continues)

MR. MIKE: OZZIE!

OZZIE: Oh. Hi, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: What on Earth are you doing?

OZZIE: I’m just standing here talking to you.

MR. MIKE: No, what was with all the yelling and flailing?

OZZIE: Oh, that. The devil was trying to tempt me, so I was trying to scare him off.

MR. MIKE: That’s certainly a unique method.

OZZIE: I hope it works better than the other things I’ve tried.

MR. MIKE: Like what?

OZZIE: Running really fast, standing really still, wearing camouflage, hiding in the closet, turning the radio up real loud, eating chocolate, pulling the covers over my head, eating chocolate…

MR. MIKE: You said eating chocolate twice.

OZZIE: I really like eating chocolate. I’ve tried bug spray, a fire extinguisher, deodorant, Brussels sprouts…

MR. MIKE: Brussels sprouts?

OZZIE: Yeah, I hate Brussels sprouts. I thought the devil might hate them too, and they’d scare him off.

MR. MIKE: And did that work?

OZZIE: Not so much. (stage whisper) I think the devil likes Brussels Sprouts.

MR. MIKE: Did any of those things work?

OZZIE: Not really, but I have this idea for a catapult.

MR. MIKE: I think you’re going about this all wrong.

OZZIE: So I should just give in to the temptation?

MR. MIKE: That’s not what I meant.

OZZIE: When the little devil and the little angel come sit on my shoulders, I should just flick the little angel away and do what the little devil tell me to do?

MR. MIKE: Not at all. You should always resist the devil. It’s your ammunition that’s all wrong.

OZZIE: But I’m too young to buy bullets.

MR. MIKE: No, I mean you need to use your Bible.

OZZIE: Ah! Like one of those really big King James Bibles. I can just whack him upside his head.

MR. MIKE: No, Ozzie! I mean you can hide God’s Word in your heart. When you know what the Bible says and practice your memory verses, you have what you need to tell right from wrong and the truth from a lie.

OZZIE: Oh. Is that why you have a memory verse every week?

MR. MIKE: Exactly.

OZZIE: Well, then I better get going.

MR. MIKE: To work on your memory verse?

OZZIE: No. I built a giant mousetrap to catch the devil, and I used my pet worm Squiggly for bait. (exits)

MR. MIKE: Ozzie!

Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord

2010-09-27T14:02:00.004-05:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 3:1-17, Mark 1:9-11, Luke 3:21-23

A lesson about preparing the way.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MIKE begins on stage when DILLY enters.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Mike?

MR. MIKE: If I was doing any better, I couldn’t stand it. How are you this fine day?

DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair, but I am plumb tuckered out.

MR. MIKE: Why are you so tired, Dilly?

DILLY: I’ve been busy cleaning my house. I’ve washed the dishes, shined the windows, dusted the furniture, and done the laundry.

MR. MIKE: That’s great, Dilly, but…

DILLY: I even emptied the lint filter. Ya know, I think that’s were all the lost socks go. They just shredded into itty bits and go in the filter.

MR. MIKE: It could be, but…

DILLY: I polished the silver, made the bed, set the table, and swept the chimney.

MR. MIKE: But why…

DILLY: I emptied the dishwasher, filled the dog bowl, and cleared cache.

MR. MIKE: (gives up on trying to ask why)

DILLY: I’ve swept the stoop and vacuumed the coop. I’ve mopped the bath and mowed a path. I’ve beat the rug, scoured the jug, stomped a bug, and scrubbed the tub.

MR. MIKE: (silent)

DILLY: Well, you been quieter than a mouse walkin’ on cotton. Ain’t you got nuthin’ to say?

MR. MIKE: I was just waiting for you to take a breath.

DILLY: Of all the impertinence. (takes a very loud breath) There! I have breathed! Speak!

MR. MIKE: I was just wondering what the occasion was for all the cleaning?

DILLY: (happy to be talking about herself again) Last Sunday, the preacher exhorted us to prepare the way for the Lord. Well, I certainly don’t want the Lord coming to a dirty house.

MR. MIKE: I don’t think that’s what he meant. I think he meant you need to prepare yourself.

DILLY: Oh my lands. I am sure I am quite a sight after all that cleaning. I’ll need to get my feathers done and my Sunday go-to-meeting clothes laundered and…

MR. MIKE: Not your outside. You need to prepare your inside.

DILLY: Well, if I am going to prepare my inside, I will most certainly need to increase my fiber.

MR. MIKE: Not prepare that way. Prepare by praying and spending time in God’s Word. If you make yourself available and are obedient to God, he will use you to prepare the way for others to be saved.

DILLY: Well, butter my biscuit! Is that what the preacher meant?

MR. MIKE: I believe that’s what the fellow meant.

DILLY: (growing excitement) Then I best get a move on if the Lord is counting on me for such an important job. Where’s my Bible? Where is my Bible? No, I better pray first. But where is my Bible? Oh, and I better tell Flora, cause she’s cleaning her house as we speak. (exits)

MR. MIKE: (stares at the stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (exits)

True Identity

2010-09-20T09:08:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Luke 2:41-52

A lesson about identity.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
a dog nose, mask, and a bandana as a cape for D.B.’s disguise

(MR. MIKE is on stage.)

D.B.: (appears singing like old Mighty Mouse cartoon) Here I come to save the day!

MR. MATT: What in the world?

D.B.: Fear not, Citizen. It is I, Mighty Dog.

MR. MATT: What’s up with the costume, D.B.? It isn’t Halloween yet.

D.B.: D.B.? Who is this D.B.? I don’t know… This is not a costume, it is my… I am the Champion of Justice; I am Mighty D… (in regular voice) How did you know it was me, Mr. Matt?

MR. MATT: Well, the ears for one thing. They’re kind of a giveaway.

D.B.: I do not understand. Clark Kent takes off his glasses and does not wear any kind of mask, and no one knows he is Superman. I wear a nifty disguise, and everyone knows who I am.

MR. MATT: It’s because, no matter what you wear, you’re still D.B.

D.B.: But I am not D.B. I am (superhero voice) Mighty Dog.

MR. MATT: But you don’t stop being D.B. when you’re Mighty Dog.

D.B.: (confused) I do not?

MR. MATT: Of course not. How do you think I knew it was you even in your Mighty Dog disguise?

D.B.: (defeated) I know. The ears.

MR. MATT: Not just the ears. Who you are – your personality, your character – still comes through. No matter what disguise you wear, it’s still D.B. underneath.

D.B.: (disappointed) Oh. Okay.

MR. MATT: You sound disappointed. Being D.B. is a good thing.

D.B.: I suppose, but Mighty Dog is the Champion of Justice. He is much cooler than just plain D.B.

MR. MATT: I wouldn’t say that. Even without the costume, you don’t stop being Mighty Dog.

D.B.: Huh?!?

MR. MATT: Like Mighty Dog, you show strength and honesty and integrity. I bet even as D.B. you’re faster than a speeding bullet.

D.B.: (perking up) You are right. Just yesterday I won a race against my turtle Bullet.

MR. MATT: (chuckling) There you go.

D.B.: Thanks, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: You’re welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Matt.

MR. MATT: Bye, D.B.

Christmas Present

2010-09-13T13:22:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Matthew 2:1-23

A lesson in coming to Christ.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MR. MATT starts on stage when OZZIE enters)

OZZIE: Mr. Matt! Mr. Matt! I found Jesus!

MR. MATT: That’s great, Ozzie. When we believe in Jesus, it is life-changing.

OZZIE: I didn’t start believing in Jesus; I found him. He’s mowing my lawn.

MR. MATT: Mowing your lawn?

OZZIE: Yeah, my dad hired him and some guy named José to mow our yard.

MR. MATT: Ozzie, I don’t think that was Jesus. I think it was just a man named Jesús (hay-SOOS).

OZZIE: (disappointed) Oh. So I suppose the kid in my class probly isn’t Jesus either.

MR. MATT: I’m guessing his name is Jesús, too.

OZZIE: Oh, yeah. I was wondering why he said it so funny. And what about Jesus Flores?

MR. MATT: You mean the catcher for the Washington Nationals?

OZZIE: Yeah!

MR. MATT: It’s Jesús Flores.

OZZIE: And I suppose all those people in the phonebook named Jesus are really all named Jesús.

MR. MATT: Probably.

OZZIE: Then how am I ever going to meet Jesus when all of the Jesuses are named Jesús?!?

MR. MATT: Why are you looking for Jesus in the phonebook?

OZZIE: You’re right, Mr. Matt. This is the 21st century. I should have googled him.

MR. MATT: That’s not what I meant. Why are you looking for Jesus around here?

OZZIE: I read in the Bible about the Wise Men and how they brought Jesus presents, and I want to bring a present, too.

MR. MATT: That happened a long time ago.

OZZIE: I know that. I wasn’t going to bring him a baby present. I thought I’d get him a tie. That’s what I always get my dad.

MR. MATT: No, Ozzie. He was born over 2000 years ago.

OZZIE: Oh! Then he’s really old. Maybe I should get him a cane or a walker with fuzzy tennis balls on the bottom or one of those swell Hoveround chairs they sell on TV.

MR. MATT: Jesus is in heaven.

OZZIE: Ah. Do you mean Little Heaven, Delaware?

MR. MATT: No. (pointing up) Heaven.

OZZIE: Oh! FedEx probly doesn’t even go there.

MR. MATT: Why are you trying to send presents to Jesus?

OZZIE: You see I missed his birthday party. I’m sure the invitation got lost in the mail. So I wanted to get him a belated birthday present.

MR. MATT: But those aren’t the kind of presents he wants.

OZZIE: Then what in the world does he want?

MR. MATT: You.

OZZIE: Me?!? Well, that’s a pretty crumby gift compared to gold and myrrh and Frankenstein.

MR. MATT: (chuckling) That’s frankincense. And to Jesus, you’re much more valuable than gold.

OZZIE: Seriously?

MR. MATT: Seriously. The great gift you can give Jesus is yourself – your obedience, your worship, your love. That’s the gift he really wants.

OZZIE: But that sounds kinda hard.

MR. MATT: It can be.

OZZIE: Are you sure he wouldn’t rather have a Chia Pet?

MR. MATT: I’m sure.

OZZIE: Or a Snuggy?

MR. MATT: He wants you.

OZZIE: Okay, okay. I’ll give him me, but now I gotta find a FedEx box big enough to hold me. (exits)
MR. MATT: Ozzie!

Unstable Christmas

2010-09-07T08:43:00.004-05:00

Scripture Reference: Luke 2:1-20, Matthew 1:18-25

A lesson about the birth of the Savior.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MR. MATT begins on stage when DILLY enters.)

DILLY: How y’all doin’, Mr. Matt?

MR. MATT: Oh hi, Dilly. I’m doing fine. How are you?

DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair. And, oh my, y’all have some new little chicks in your class this morning. Howdy, young’uns.

MR. MATT: Yes, we do. New kids…

DILLY: And they’re just cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.

MR. MATT: New school year…

DILLY: Why, I’m sure they’re more excited than a dog in a hubcap factory.

MR. MATT: New Testament…

DILLY: New Testament? Whatever are you talking about?

MR. MATT: We’re going to start studying the New Testament this week. Today we are going to look at the birth of Jesus.

DILLY: I don’t cotton to that story.

MR. MATT: The Christmas story? Why not?

DILLY: The idea of a baby being born in a sorry little stable is most unpleasant, and that’s coming from someone who has lived in a stable. They are smelly and dirty. I mean, his daddy is the Lord God. Couldn’t he have let his son be born in a warm palace or a fine antebellum mansion or even the Holiday Inn? But a stable? And with all that donkey poo. Well, I never.

MR. MATT: Dilly, I think you’ve missed the point of the story.

DILLY: If you’re so bright, Mr. Matt, enlighten me.

MR. MATT: It’s a story about love.

DILLY: What are you talking about? Are you saying Mary & Joseph loved donkey poo?

MR. MATT: Of course not. I am saying that Jesus loved you so much that he left Heaven – where he sat beside his Father and had angels worshipping him – to come to Earth and be born in a “sorry little stable.”

DILLY: Well, ain’t that the berries!

MR. MATT: Yes, it is… I think.

DILLY: I always knew that Jesus loves everyone, but I didn’t know I was his favorite. Imagine that. He came to Earth just because of ME.

MR. MATT: Not just because of you, Dilly. He does love you, but he also loves me and Mr. Jeff and all these kids.

DILLY: (stage whisper) Even Abigail?

MR. MATT: Of course he loves Abigail.

DILLY: And Flora, too?

MR. MATT: And Flora, too.

DILLY: Do go on.

MR. MATT: Seriously, Jesus loves all the little children of the world.

DILLY: That is the most exciting news! I had never thought of the Christmas story in just that way. I must find Flora and tell her that Jesus left Heaven, because he loves her and me and everyone else (but I still think I’m his favorite). Where could that Flora be? Oh, there she is. (getting louder and running offstage) Flora! Flora darlin’! (exits)

MR. MATT: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forget – bye, y’all! (exits)

This Looks Like a Job for Job

2010-08-30T12:36:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Job 1:13-22

A skit that demonstrates that we should worship in times of trouble.

Cast:
MIKE – Worship Leader
MATT – Person who doesn’t know how to worship

Props:
Bible for MIKE opened to the book of Job.

(During the first song, MATT stops sings. He sits down looking sad and dejected.)

MIKE: What are you doing, Mr. MATT? Don’t tell me you are embarrassed by singing?

MATT: No.

MIKE: You don’t still think it’s girly or undignified?

MATT: No.

MIKE: Then what is it?

MATT: Nothing.

MIKE: It’s not nothing. You look like someone popped your balloon.

MATT: I’ve just had a bad week. I don’t want to go into detail.

MIKE: Well, if you want to talk…

MATT: It’s just that we’ve been on the road a lot, and there’s more work that can be done. I have customers screaming for help and not enough time to help them. The phone keeps ringing, I am getting hundreds of email…

MIKE: I’m sorry to hear…

MATT: Then I think I’m going to get a break for the weekend and my car breaks down and the toilet overflows and the lawn needs mowing and …

MIKE: I’m glad you don’t want to go into detail.

MATT: What? Oh, sorry. Anyway, I’m just not up to worshiping. Worship is all about feelings, and I just don’t feel like it.

MIKE: Worship is a lot more than just about your feelings. It isn’t just supposed to engage your heart. It is suppose to engage your mind, body, and spirit. In the book of John, Jesus says that “true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth.”

MATT: Yeah, but if you’ve had a bad day…

MIKE: Ever heard of Jōb? [NB: ō indicates to use a long O, as in "robe".]

MATT: I don’t think so.

MIKE: You know, Jōb – in the Bible. J-O-B, Jōb.

MATT: I thought it was pronounced job.

MIKE: No, it’s Jōb.

MATT: Did he have a brother named Bōb?

MIKE: What?!?

MATT: Bōb. B-O-B.

MIKE: That would be Bob.

MATT: And did he eat corn on the cōb?

MIKE: No.

MATT: What about him?

MIKE: What about who?

MATT: Job

MIKE: That’s Jōb, and he had a REALLY bad day. One day a messenger came to him and told him that his enemy had stolen all his oxen & donkeys and killed all his servants working in the fields.

MATT: I bet that made him sōb.

MATT: That’s sob. Then another messenger came to tell him that fire had fallen from the sky and killed all the sheep and shepherds.

MATT: That’s bad, but…

MIKE: Then another messenger came to tell him that raiders had carried off his camels and killed his servants.

MATT: That’s really bad, but…

MIKE: Then another messenger…

MATT: Not another messenger!

MIKE: Yep, another messenger. This one came to tell him that while his sons and daughters were all together, a huge wind came up, blew down the house, and killed them all.

MATT: Yikes! That is a REALLY bad day! I had a great day compared to all of that!

MIKE: That is probably one of the worst days anyone’s ever had.

MATT: And you’re going to tell me that Jōb worshiped God after all of that?!?

MIKE: Yes. Jōb 1:20-21 says: Then he fell to the ground in worship and said, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."

MATT: How could he do that? He just had his family wiped out?

MIKE: When we remember that God is our Redeemer and that He truly loves us, we can rest in the knowledge that He is in control even when we don’t understand the reasons for what is happening.

MATT: But how can I do that?

MIKE: You have to prepare. You can’t wait until things get hard to trust God. You have to practice that when things are good. Spend time in His Word, talk with Him in prayer, stand in His presence in worship. You have to KNOW you can trust Him BEFORE the bad times. In the bad times, you will want to doubt, it’s only natural. But if you have a foundation of trust already, you can stand on that foundation when the trust is hard.

MATT: So worship is like getting into shape. You can’t wait until you are in the middle of a football game to start working out. You have to do that before the game, so that you are prepared.

MIKE: Exactly. Worship is part of what makes us healthy Christians. And when we are in difficult times in our lives, it reminds us that God is our Rock and our Redeemer.

MATT: Wow! If Jōb can worship after all of that, I guess I can, too.

MIKE: That’s our jōb.

MATT: Now don’t YOU start that!

You Didn’t Make Your Bed, So You’re in the Doghouse

2010-08-24T10:28:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: Jonah 1-4

A lesson about obedience.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
none

(Opens with MR. MIKE on stage.)

D.B.: (enters & collapses from exhaustion)

MR. MIKE: Hey, D.B. What’s wrong?

D.B.: Hi, Mr. Mike. I am worn out.

MR. MIKE: Why are you so worn out?

D.B.: My mama asked e to make my bed.

MR. MIKE: Making your bed wore you out?

D.B.: Of course not!

MR. MIKE: Well, it sounded like…

D.B.: Do I look some sort of baby bunny?

MR. MIKE: No, but…

D.B.: I can make my bed without getting worn out.

MR. MIKE: I was just going by what you said…

D.B.: Besides, I did not even make my bed.

MR. MIKE: D.B.! Why in the world did you make your bed?

D.B.: It is not fun making by bed. I wanted to do something fun.

MR. MIKE: Do did you play?

D.B.: No, I hided.

MR. MIKE: That doesn’t sound like much fun. Where’d you hide?

D.B.: I tried to hide in the bathroom.

MR. MIKE: How’d that work out for you?

D.B.: With 98 brothers and sisters, not so good. Our bathroom sees a lot of action.

MR. MIKE: I imagine it does. SO what did you do next?

D.B.: I tried the pantry, but it was too small. I tried the den, but it was too big. I tried the attic, but it was too high. I tried the basement, but it was too low. I tried the oven, but it was too hot. I tried to freezer, but it was too cold. Then I tried the doghouse, and it was just right.

MR. MIKE: The doghouse? Was that a good place to hide?

D.B.: It was, until the dog showed up.

MR. MIKE: Oh, was he mad you were in his house?

D.B.: No, he wanted to play. He started to bark and to wrestle and to chase me around and to give me his slobbery ball.

MR. MIKE: You can’t have that. Your mother might notice.

D.B.: Exactly.

MR. MIKE: So what did you do?

D.B.: I climbed up a tree to get away.

MR. MIKE: Did that work?

D.B.: Oh yes! Until I discovered that I had climbed too high, and I was too scared to climb down.

MR. MIKE: Oh my. What did you do?

D.B.: I did not do anything. I was afraid to move.

MR. MIKE: How’d you get down?

D.B.: My mama heard the dog barking and saw him chase me up the tree. I told her I was oh so sorry for not making my bed, and could she please help me get down.

MR. MIKE: And did she?

D.B.: Of course. My mama is a very good mama.

MR. MIKE: Of course she is. So did you learn your lesson?

D.B.: Oh, yes. I will never try to hide in the doghouse again.

MR. MIKE: No, that it’s easier to be obedient than to try to run away from it.

D.B.: Oh, that. But I was going to make my bed — eventually.

MR. MIKE: Delayed obedience is disobedience. It’s always better to be obedient right away.

D.B.: I guess you are right. It I had made my bed when my mama told me to, I would already be done. I would have been playing instead of stuck up a tree.

MR. MIKE: You got it. What are you going to do now, D.B.?

D.B.: I am going to go make my bed.

MR. MIKE: That’s a good fellow.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Bye, D.B.

Little Monsters

2010-08-16T13:15:00.004-05:00

Scripture Reference: Mark 10:13-16

A lesson in the importance of children’s ministry.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
CHRIS – the worship leader who sets him straight

Props:
None

(Note: Our pastor was out yesterday, and I was asked to deliver the message and share my heart about children's ministry. I started with this puppet skit.)

(CHRIS is on stage when OZZIE enters.)

OZZIE: Hey, Mr. Chris.

CHRIS: Hi, Ozzie.

OZZIE: (noticing the sanctuary) Wow! This is a swell place you have here, Mr. Chris. It’s enormous.

CHRIS: (amused) This isn’t my place. This is the sanctuary. Haven’t you been in here before?

OZZIE: No. When I visit your church, I just go to the children’s church room with Mr. Jeff and Mr. Mike and Mr. Matt and… Hey, there’s Miss Rebecca. Hi, Miss Rebecca! (give her a chance to respond and possibly some interaction)And there’s Miss Starr all the way back there. Hi, Miss Starr! (give her a chance to respond and possibly some interaction)

CHRIS: So do you like it in here?

OZZIE: Yeah! It’s sweet! And you sure sing better than Mr. Jeff.

JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can hear you.

OZZIE: (looks down then shrugs) And when I go to monster church, they never let the little monsters go in the sanctuary.

CHRIS: Why not?

OZZIE: They say we’re too little and we can go in when we get bigger.

CHRIS: But don’t you have grown-ups who come back to your classroom?

OZZIE: They really don’t like being back there.

CHRIS: Why’s that?

OZZIE: Would you want to be in a room full of little monsters?

CHRIS: I see your point, but you have some grown-ups who help, don’t you?

OZZIE: Oh, sure. And we have lots of fun.

CHRIS: Like what?

OZZIE: We sing songs.

CHRIS: Bible songs?

OZZIE: No. But we have stories.

CHRIS: Bible stories?

OZZIE: No. We do memorize verses.

CHRIS: Bible verses?

OZZIE: No.

CHRIS: Do you use the Bible at all?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah! We use one to prop up one end of our big screen TV.

CHRIS: Big screen TV?

OZZIE: Yeah! This morning we started watching Braveheart. Our teachers say that it has great spiritual significance.

CHRIS: Doesn’t anyone actually read the Bible?

OZZIE: Oh, no. The teachers say they have a hard time understanding all of the Bible, so there’s no way we kids could ever understand it.

CHRIS: But don’t the teachers here read the Bible when you visit?

OZZIE: Oh, yeah. And they memorize verses.

CHRIS: Bible verses?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they have stories.

CHRIS: Bible stories?

OZZIE: Yeah. And they sing songs.

CHRIS: Bible songs?

OZZIE: Yeah. But they do have to listen to Mr. Jeff sing them.

JEFF: (from behind the stage) I can still hear you.

OZZIE: (looks down then back at Chris) So kids really can learn stuff from the Bible?

CHRIS: They sure can.

OZZIE: I think I’m gonna talk to my teachers about using the Bible more.

CHRIS: That’s a great idea, Ozzie.

OZZIE: But I think I’m gonna wait a week before I tell them.

CHRIS: Why wait?

OZZIE: Because I want to see how Braveheart ends. (exits)

CHRIS: Ozzie!

Bowling for Dillies

2010-08-09T13:34:00.004-05:00

Scripture Reference: Esther 1-10

A lesson in “for such a time as this.”

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MISS STARR begins on stage when DILLY enters.)

DILLY: Good morning, Miss Starr.

MISS STARR: Hi, Dilly. How are you doing?

DILLY: Why, I’m finer than frog hair, but it has been a most harrowing day.

MISS STARR: Oh my. What happened?

DILLY: Well, I was crossing the road…

MISS STARR: To get to the other side?

DILLY: (annoyed) No. I was going to meet Flora to go see a movie.

MISS STARR: A chick flick?

DILLY: You’re about as funny as a duck on a cold winter’s morning.

MISS STARR: Sorry. Go on.

DILLY: As I was saying, I went to get Flora, and I thought she had laid an egg – a huge, black egg.

MISS STARR: Oh my. Tell me, does it hurt to lay an egg?

DILLY: It’s a bit like blowing a potato…

MISS STARR: That doesn’t sound so bad.

DILLY: Out of your nose.

MISS STARR: Ouch!

DILLY: Ouch, indeed. So you can just imagine how much it would hurt to lay an egg the size of a bowling ball.

MISS STARR: That big? Is Flora okay?

DILLY: Oh, she’s finer that a dog hair split three ways. Turns out that it really was a bowling ball.

MISS STARR: That’s good, but why was there a bowling ball in the chicken coop?

DILLY: I reckon one of them good-for-nothing roosters left it there.

MISS STARR: What did you do with it?

DILLY: Well, it was a rental, so Flora and I resolved to return it to the bowling alley.

MISS STARR: That was very thoughtful of you.

DILLY: I am nothing if not thoughtful and understanding. Besides, I knew that sluggard would never to it himself.

MISS STARR: Regardless, it was very nice of you.

DILLY: It was more than nice; it was downright heroic.

MISS STARR: Heroic? How so?

DILLY: Well, I only weigh six pounds soaking wet.

MISS STARR: (silently stares incredulously)

DILLY: Okay, eight pounds. The point being, that I weigh significantly less than that bowling ball.

MISS STARR: What did you do?

DILLY: We decided to roll it.

MISS STARR: That was clever.

DILLY: We thought so, too. ‘Til we go to the hill.

MISS STARR: Oh no! What happened?

DILLY: Well, there were ten people standing at the bottom of the hill lined up just like bowling pins.

MISS STARR: Did you make a strike?

DILLY: Fortunately, we are abysmal bowlers, and it was a gutter ball.

MISS STARR: Phew!

DILLY: Don’t “phew” yet. The ball rolled up the curb and flew into the air.

MISS STARR: (flinching) And?

DILLY: Landed in the mud.

MISS STARR: That’s good.

DILLY: Not for the ten people at the bottom of the hill.

MISS STARR: Oh dear.

DILLY: They had so much mud on them that they looked like pigs that had been wallerin’ in the mud.

MISS STARR: I bet they were mad.

DILLY: They were madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three-legged cat, so we hightailed it outta there with that bowling ball.

MISS STARR: I’m glad you two were all right. Did you finally make it to the bowling alley?

DILLY: Yes, we did, and it took some convincing to get the proprietor to take the ball back.

MISS STARR: Why’s that?

DILLY: He accused us of steeling it. Can you imagine? I told him he was barking up the wrong tree.

MISS STARR: Of course. You’d never steel anything.

DILLY: Well, he finally remembered that it was that cocky little bantam rooster who had that ball, and he let us go.

MISS STARR: Good for you. Did you make it to your movie?

DILLY: We had just enough time to make it, but as we were leaving, we ran into that cocky little bantam. Well, I gave him a piece of my mind, when he explained that he’d gotten a phone call last night that his mamma had taken ill. He was so distraught that he left the alley with the ball.

MISS STARR: Did you see if you could help him?

DILLY: No, we were going to be late to our movie.

MISS STARR: Dilly! Who knows whether you had not come to the bowling alley for such a time as this?

DILLY: Whatever do you mean?

MISS STARR: Don’t you see that God got you exactly where He wanted you, so you could comfort and help that bantam and his mom?

DILLY: Well, tie me to an anthill and put jam in my ears! I do reckon you are correct, Miss Starr. I am much obliged. I will go now and comfort that young rooster.

MISS STARR: And don’t forget his mom. Maybe you can bring her some chicken soup. (realizes what she just said)

DILLY: That is just sick!

MISS STARR: Sorry. I forgot who I was talking to.

DILLY: That’s okay. Every dog should have a few fleas. (growing excitement) I could make his mamma a nice corn chowder and a loaf of 7-grain bread. Oh, and I have the loveliest dishes I could use. And I could make her some sweet tea. And… And… I need to bet busy. (quickly exits)

MISS STARR: (stares at stage surprised at Dilly’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forget – bye, y’all! (exits)

On the Bubble

2010-08-04T09:39:00.002-05:00

Scripture Reference: Nehemiah 1-13

A lesson in rebuilding.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MISS STARR is on stage talking to the children. OZZIE peaks over the stage and looks around. MISS STARR finally notices.)

MISS STARR: Ozzie, what in the world are you doing?

OZZIE: I’m making sure my mommy and daddy aren’t here.

MISS STARR: They aren’t here. Why are you avoiding them?

OZZIE: ‘Cause I’m not sure they love me any more.

MISS STARR: Ozzie! I’m sure your parents love you. Why would you think they don’t.

OZZIE: They were really mad at me, and they put me in timeout for 70 minutes.

MISS STARR: Why 70 minutes?

OZZIE: Because of my sister Izzie standing where she shouldn’t have been.

MISS STARR: You got 70 minutes of timeout, because Izzie was standing in the wrong place?

OZZIE: Yeah! I told her not to stand in front of me when I was chewing bubblegum, but she just stood there and kept talking to me.

MISS STARR: What was she talking to you about?

OZZIE: She was went on and on about how I wasn’t suppose to be chewing gum.

MISS STARR: Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place? You got a timeout for being disobedient. Did Izzie tattle?

OZZIE: Only after the bubble popped.

MISS STARR: What bubble?

OZZIE: The bubble that popped right where she was standing.

MISS STARR: It popped on Izzie?

OZZIE: Uh-huh.

MISS STARR: Was it a big bubble?

OZZIE: Oh yeah!

MISS STARR: How big?

OZZIE: You know how I got timeout for 70 minutes?

MISS STARR: Yes.

OZZIE: That was 10 minutes for every gum.

MISS STARR: You had 7 sticks of gum in your mouth?

OZZIE: No!

MISS STARR: Then what did you have?

OZZIE: Ever hear of Bubble Tape?

MISS STARR: Yeah.

OZZIE: I had 7 feet of gum.

MISS STARR: Ozzie! That’s too much gum!

OZZIE: Well, I know that now.

MISS STARR: How big was the bubble?

OZZIE: Have you ever seen Raiders of the Lost Ark?

MISS STARR: Sure.

OZZIE: You know that scene at the beginning where Indie switches the bag for the statue?

MISS STARR: The bubble was as big as the sack?

OZZIE: No.

MISS STARR: As big as the statue?

OZZIE: No.

MISS STARR: You don’t mean it was as huge as the ball that came rolling towards Indie, do you?

OZZIE: Uh-huh.

MISS STARR: Oh my! That must have completely covered your sister with gum.

OZZIE: Not completely. (pause) The bottoms of her feet didn’t get any gum on them.

MISS STARR: Ozzie! I can see why your parents were so made.

OZZIE: I know.

MISS STARR: Not only were you disobedient, but you made a huge mess.

OZZIE: I know. I know.

MISS STARR: So now you’re avoiding your parents.

OZZIE: They don’t love me any more.

MISS STARR: I’m sure they do love you, but they are also disappointed in you.

OZZIE: And mad.

MISS STARR: I’m sure they are.

OZZIE: Really mad.

MISS STARR: But you can fix it. You need to work on being obedient. Show them that you can be trusted.

OZZIE: But they are really, REALLY mad.

MISS STARR: They’ll get over it. Your parents will never stop loving you no matter how made they get.

OZZIE: Even when they are really, really, REALLY mad?

MISS STARR: Even then. You can rebuild your relationship.

OZZIE: Oh. Well, I think I’ve learned my lesson, Miss Starr.

MISS STARR: I’m glad to hear that, Ozzie.

OZZIE: And I’ve also learned not to blow bubbles with 7 feet of bubblegum.

MISS STARR: Well, I hope not.

OZZIE: Except when Izzie’s around. She looked so funny covered with gum. (exits)

MISS STARR: Ozzie!

As the Worm Turns

2010-07-26T11:42:00.002-05:00

Scripture Reference: Daniel 6

A lesson in God’s protection.

Cast:
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
(NOTE: All of Squiggly’s dialog is done with a kazoo. The words are provided as a guide for the vocalization and movement.)
MR. MATT – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MR. MATT is on stage when SQUIGGLY enters clearly shaken.)

MR. MATT: Hi, Squiggly. Where’s Ozzie?

SQUIGGLY: I don’t know.

MR. MATT: Is something bothering you?

SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.

MR. MATT: Is D.B. trying to take you fishing again, so he can use you for bait?

SQUIGGLY: Uh-uh.

MR. MATT: Did Dilly invite you over for dinner again, and forget to tell you that you were on the menu?

SQUIGGLY: Uh-uh.

MR. MATT: Hmmm. Are you have trouble with Ozzie’s friends again?

SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.

MR. MATT: What are they trying to get you to do now?

SQUIGGLY: (At this point, SQUIGGLY goes into a long detailed explanation. No one can actually understand it, but MR. MATT will go along like he understand. MR. MATT will nod, shake his head, and say “Yeah,” “Really?” “No!” etc. SQUIGGLY ends by pausing and looking at MR. MATT.)

MR. MATT: I can’t believe they want you to do that! What did you tell them?

SQUIGGLY: Grrr!

MR. MATT: Good for you, Squiggly. You chose to do what was right in God’s sight rather than doing what Ozzie’s so-called friends wanted you to do.

SQUIGGLY: Aw.

MR. MATT: You know they might be mad at you.

SQUIGGLY: Huh?!?

MR. MATT: For not going along with their scheme.

SQUIGGLY: Uh-oh!

MR. MATT: I wouldn’t worry about it. God is on your side.

SQUIGGLY: Phew.

MR. MATT: If anything, I’d worry about them.

SQUIGGLY: Ha ha ha!

MR. MATT: It is always better to be on God’s side.

SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh!

MR. MATT: Well, I’ve enjoyed our talk. You have some really perceptive insights, Squiggly.

SQUIGGLY: Aw.

MR. MATT: Do you feel better?

SQUIGGLY: Uh-huh.

MR. MATT: Good. See you later, Squiggly.

SQUIGGLY: Bye-bye.

God's Chisel

2010-07-19T09:16:00.006-05:00

Flood

2010-07-12T13:00:00.004-05:00

Scripture Reference: 2 Kings 5

A lesson in our expectations for God.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
none

(MISS REBECCA is on stage when D.B. enters.)

D.B.: Hi, Miss Rebecca. How are you today?

MISS REBECCA: Hey, D.B. I’m doing fine. I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?

D.B.: I have been on vacation with my mama and dad and brothers and sisters.

MISS REBECCA: How many brothers and sisters do you have?

D.B.: 98.

MISS REBECCA: Your parents have 99 children? Why not 100?

D.B.: That would be ridiculous.

MISS REBECCA: Sorry, I just thought…

D.B.: 100 kids!

MISS REBECCA: Okay, never mind…

D.B.: Who do you think we are? Bun & Kate Plus 108?

MISS REBECCA: I guess I wasn’t thinking. So where’d you go for your vacation?

D.B.: We went to Nashville.

MISS REBECCA: Haven’t they had a lot of flooding there?

D.B.: Yes. We did not mean to go there, but we should have made a left turn at Albuquerque.

MISS REBECCA: It really bugs me when that happens. So did you have a good time?

D.B.: It was a lot of fun until I got caught up in a flash flood.

MISS REBECCA: (very concerned) Oh dear! What happened?

D.B.: I climbed up on a building, and the water quickly rose up to the first floor.

MISS REBECCA: What did you do?

D.B.: Well, a boat came to rescue me.

MISS REBECCA: That’s great!

D.B.: But I sent it away.

MISS REBECCA: Why in the world did you do that?!?

D.B.: I told them I had prayed to God and go rescue someone who has less faith.

MISS REBECCA: Good grief! What happened next?

D.B.: The water kept rising and soon it was up to the second floor. I cried out to God, and soon a helicopter came.

MISS REBECCA: Thank God! I hope you had the sense to get on it.

D.B.: Oh no. I told them I had prayed to God and go save someone who has less faith.

MISS REBECCA: D.B.! How did you get saved?

D.B.: I did not. The water finally covered the building, and I floated away.

MISS REBECCA: Oh my! What happened?!?

D.B.: I died.

MISS REBECCA: (dubiously) You died?

D.B.: Yes, I died and went to heaven. When I met God I told Him that I had prayed to be saved. Why did He not save me?

MISS REBECCA: And what did He say?

D.B.: He said, “I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want?”

MISS REBECCA: (annoyed) D.B., that’s an old joke.

D.B.: (snickers) I know, Miss Rebecca, but I like that joke.

MISS REBECCA: But you know what? It ties in very well with our lesson today?

D.B.: Really?

MISS REBECCA: Yes, we are going to read a story about a man named Naaman. He wanted something from God, and he was disappointed when God didn’t do it in the way he thought it should be done.

D.B.: He must have thought he was smarter than God.

MISS REBECCA: Maybe. Sometimes we put expectations on how God should do something, and we miss it when He does it His way.

D.B.: Well, I know if God sent a boat for real to rescue me, I would get in.

MISS REBECCA: Good for you. I guess you’re a lot smarter than Naaman.

D.B.: That is not saying much. Well, I better go unpack, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Okay, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: Bye, D.B.

Gravity Brings Me Down

2010-07-06T08:45:00.002-05:00

Scripture Reference: 1 Kings 18

A lesson in truth and the one true God.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS REBECCA – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
Something to make crashing sounds (e.g., pots & pans)

(MISS REBECCA is on stage when DILLY enters.)

DILLY: (from backstage) SQUAWK! (rustling then crashing)

MISS REBECCA: Dilly! Are you okay?

DILLY: (enters) Why I’m finer than frog hair, Miss Rebecca.

MISS REBECCA: What in the world was all that commotion?

DILLY: Oh that. I was simply attempting to fly.

MISS REBECCA: Fly? Dilly, chickens can’t fly. They can’t get enough lift to overcome gravity.

DILLY: Well, that is a popular perception, but I have been studying on this subject. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t believe in gravity.

MISS REBECCA: Don’t believe in gravity?!? Gravity is a fact, not just a matter of opinion.

DILLY: That would be your opinion.

MISS REBECCA: Then how to explain that things always fall down instead of up?

DILLY: It’s a cultural thing. We as a culture have decided that we prefer that things fall down, so they fall down.

MISS REBECCA: So if I decided that I’d prefer that things fall up, they’d fall up?

DILLY: I do declare that you are beginning to latch on.

MISS REBECCA: Oh I “latch on.” I just don’t agree.

DILLY: Then you are as close-minded as a vault door.

MISS REBECCA: I don’t want to be so open-minded, though, that my brains fall out.

DILLY: Well, I’ve never been so insulted.

MISS REBECCA: (aside) The day’s still early.

DILLY: I beg your pardon!

MISS REBECCA: Nothing. So how’s the whole not-believing-in-gravity thing working out for you?

DILLY: Not as well as I’d hoped. It seems that every time I try to fly, I fall to earth like a bag of wet cement.

MISS REBECCA: And why do you think that is?

DILLY: Maybe if I just believe harder.

MISS REBECCA: Really? You already believed hard enough to try to fly. Do you really think you could believe harder?

DILLY: Maybe a bitty bit harder.

MISS REBECCA: It wouldn’t help. When something is true, it’s true no matter how hard you believe or don’t believe it.

DILLY: Well if that don’t put the pepper in the gumbo.

MISS REBECCA: Some things are just true: gravity, mathematics, God.

DILLY: Well of course God is true. You’d have to be a few fries short of a Happy Meal to think that God isn’t true.

MISS REBECCA: Exactly. God is true. Gravity is true.

DILLY: Oh my lands! I need to find Flora quicker than a rat up a drain. I fear I may been a bit too convincing in telling her gravity isn’t real, because I do believe I heard her say something about going to the top of the chicken coop and trying to fly. Flora! FLORA! (exits quickly)

MISS REBECCA: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all! (disappears)

The Skit With Lots of Exclamation Points

2010-06-28T13:41:00.003-05:00

Scripture Reference: 1 Kings 17:7-24

A lesson in God’s provision.

Cast:
OZZIE – an excitable little monster
SQUIGGLY – Ozzie’s pet worm
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
None

(MISS STARR is on stage when OZZIE excitedly enters.)

OZZIE: Miss Starr! Miss Starr! Emergency! Help! Help! It’s terrible! It’s terrible!

MISS STARR: Slow down, Ozzie. What’s the matter?

OZZIE: My dad might lose his job! It’s terrible! It’s terrible!

MISS STARR: That certainly is bad.

OZZIE: Not bad – it’s terrible! It’s tragic! It’s a travesty!

MISS STARR: Ozzie, slow down. First of all, you’re borrowing trouble. Your dad hasn’t actually lost his job yet.

OZZIE: No, but if he does, it will be TERRIBLE! We’ll have no money! We’ll lose our house! We’ll starve! And Squiggly will try up to a string and blow away!

MISS STARR: Ozzie! Calm down. It’s not that bad.

OZZIE: Not that bad?!? Squiggly drying up to a withered little string and blowing away in a puff of dust isn’t just bad – IT’S TERRIBLE!

MISS STARR: That would be pretty terrible, buy why do you think that will happen?

OZZIE: Aren’t you listening?!? If my dad loses his job, WE’LL HAVE NO MONEY!

MISS STARR: But why are you putting all your faith in your dad’s job?

OZZIE: Because that’s where the money comes from!

MISS STARR: No, the money comes from God.

OZZIE: They why does my dad go to work everyday?

MISS STARR: Because that’s how God has chosen to provide for your family. If your dad loses his job, God will provide for your family in a different way.

OZZIE: So God is going to take care of us?

MISS STARR: Not only is he going to take care of you, He’s been taking care of you. That’s what the Bible promises.

OZZIE: So will God buy me a PlayStation?

MISS STARR: The Bible doesn’t promise that.

OZZIE: Oh.

MISS STARR: God promises to supply our daily needs. Sometimes he does this through natural means like a job. Sometimes He does it in supernatural ways that we can’t always understand. So do feel any better about the situation, Ozzie?

OZZIE: Yes, I do, Miss Starr. There’s just one thing.

MISS STARR: What’s that?

(SQUIGGLY appears)

OZZIE: Squiggly wants to know if God will buy him PlayStation?

(OZZIE quickly exists. SQUIGGLY looks between Ozzie and Miss Starr, gets scared, then exists quickly.)

MISS STARR: Squiggly!

Dilly-Dally

2010-06-21T15:23:00.005-05:00

Scripture Reference: 1 Kings 11:9-13, 26-43, 1 Kings 12:1-24

A lesson in choices and consequences.

Cast:
DILLY – a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight
MISS STARR – the teacher who sets her straight

Props:
None

(MISS STARR is on stage when DILLY enters.)

DILLY: Good morning, Miss Starr.

MISS STARR: Hi, Dilly. How’re you doing?

DILLY: I’m just finer than frog hair, but my life has sho’ been a whirlwind lately.

MISS STARR: Oh really? What’s going on?

DILLY: Well, about a year ago the Lord laid it on my heart to help the homeless chickens.

MISS STARR: That sounds like a wonderful thing to do.

DILLY: Well, I know it is, but some of those homeless chickens smell a might… Miss Starr, have you ever smelled an old sneaker?

MISS STARR: Yes. They don’t smell too good.

DILLY: Well, imagine if it had been worn by a fish…

MISS STARR: Dilly!

DILLY: covered in stinky cheese and cabbage.

MISS STARR: That’s not nice at all!

DILLY: Well, it’s just the truth. It doesn’t make them bad, but I’m just saying…

MISS STARR: So did you help them?

DILLY: Well, I spent a lot of time in God’s Word and praying, and I felt convicted to do it. I didn't want to do it, but I did it anyway.

MISS STARR: That’s wonderful. How’d it go?

DILLY: I got together with some other hens, and we raised money and built the most darling chicken coops you ever saw.

MISS STARR: I bet God really blessed you for your obedience.

DILLY: Oh, He has! I met the loveliest bunch of hens, and we absolutely adore spending time with one another.

MISS STARR: That’s great.

DILLY: Oh, it is. We have lunch with one another, go shopping, play pinochle. We have had more fun than a flea at a dog show.

MISS STARR: I’m so happy for you. Are you still raising money to build chicken coops?

DILLY: Well, we’ve been spending so much time at our hen parties that we really don’t have time for that any more.

MISS STARR: Have you prayed about that?

DILLY: I’ve been intendin’ to, but I’ve been busier than a bee in tar bucket.

MISS STARR: And how’s that working out for you?

DILLY: Well, now that you mention it, none too well. My friend Flora and I were remarking just the other day that we were happier when we were busy raising money for those smelly chickens that we are now just having fun.

MISS STARR: That’s because you are outside of God’s plan for you. He loves it that you’re blessed with good friends, but you can’t let those friends take the place of God.

DILLY: (excitedly) I declare that I do believe y’all are right. I need to mend my ways. I am going to call Flora and the girls directly and get to work raising money for chicken coops again. (exits quickly)

MISS STARR: (stares at the stage surprised by DILLY’s sudden departure)

DILLY: (reappears) I almost forgot – bye, y’all!

MISS STARR: Bye, Dilly.

Meet the Puppets

2010-06-14T10:32:00.009-05:00

This week I tweaked a skit I had used in AWANA and which is already posted here. I thought this week I would show the puppets I am using and talk their personalities. Hopefully, this may help some of my skits make more sense.

D.B.
D.B. is a good albeit not very bright bunny. He is a kid of about 8-9 years old, the median age of my current class.
His voice was originally based on Benny from the Warner Brothers George and Benny cartoons. After I started doing D.B., the Pixar movie Up came out, and Dug's voice is also very similar.
To help me maintain his voice and character, I over-pronounce all words and never use contractions.
D.B. often goes down a rabbit trail when he misunderstands something that is said. His skits nearly always end with him saying thank you to his comic foil.

Ozzie

Ozzie is an an excitable little monster. He also is a kid of about 8 or 9.
His voice could be described as a cross between Wallace Shawn and Sylvester the Cat. He has an exaggerated interdental lisp. He gets worked up easily and often repeats words or phrases.
Ozzie enters and exits quickly, often just popping up or disappearing quickly. He typically makes an outrageous statement or comment that shows he didn't really completely understand the lesson before disappearing.
Ozzie has a pet worm named Squiggly.

Squiggly
Squiggly is Ozzie's pet worm. He is played by one of the finger funzles (the green one with the orange hair.) Squiggly's voice is done with a kazoo, because pet worms don't actually speak.
Ozzie makes it sound like Squiggly runs the show, but he is actually just along for the ride.
Ozzie has mentioned Squiggly in previous skits, but he will make is debut in two weeks.

Dilly

Dilly is the newest addition. She is a southern fried chicken who doesn’t always get things straight. While she is older than the boys, she of an indeterminate age.
She has a very definite drawl. Her dialog is full of southern expressions and church clichés. She is well meaning and sweet, but she is easily led astray and often misunderstands what she is told.
She often refers to her friend Flora in her stories. They are old friends, and neither has ever met a bad idea.
Dilly makes her debut this Sunday.

All By Myself

2010-06-07T11:02:00.005-05:00

Scripture Reference: 2 Samuel 23:8-39, 1 Chronicles 11

A lesson about having the courage to stand alone.

Cast:
D.B. – a good albeit not very bright bunny
MR. MIKE – the teacher who sets him straight

Props:
Baseball

SFX:
Glass breaking
“Run away”

(Opens with D.B. offstage, and MR. MIKE at the back of the room.)

SFX: Glass breaking
SFX: “Run away!”

(MR. MIKE comes to the front holding a baseball. D.B. peaks over the top of the stage and spots MR. MIKE looking at him.)

D.B.: (reluctantly) Hi, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: (seriously) Hello, D.B.

D.B.: It is a nice day.

MR. MIKE: It’s a very nice day.

D.B.: (after an awkward pause) Yes, very nice.

MR. MIKE: Where did all your friends go, D.B.?

D.B.: Friends?

MR. MIKE: I heard other kids outside playing. Where’d they go?

D.B.: Oh, those kids. They are not here any more.

MR. MIKE: I can see that. What happened to them?

D.B.: Um, they ran away.

MR. MIKE: Why did they run away?

D.B.: I do not know. Maybe their moms called them home for dinner.

MR. MIKE: Are you sure about that, D.B.?

D.B.: (dropping head) No. They ran away, because the baseball got hit really hard and broke someone’s window.

MR. MIKE: And whose window do you suppose got broken?

D.B.: (looking at the baseball) Yours?

MR. MIKE: Mine.

D.B.: (becoming upset) I am sorry, Mr. Mike. It was an accident.

MR. MIKE: I’m sure it was. I broke plenty of stuff when I was a kid, so I understand.

D.B.: You were a kid once?

MR. MIKE: (amused) Of course I was. Everyone was a kid at some time.

D.B.: Oh, yeah.

MR. MIKE: I’m angry, because all those kids ran away without taking responsibility for their actions.

D.B.: But they were scared.

MR. MIKE: Aren’t you scared too, D.B.?

D.B.: Yeah, but staying is the right thing to do.

MR. MIKE: All of your friends ran away. You could have run away too.

D.B.: Yeah, but being honest is the right thing to do even if no one else does it.

MR. MIKE: I’m proud of you, D.B.

D.B.: For breaking your window?

MR. MIKE: No, for having the courage to stand alone and do the right thing.

D.B.: Courage?!? I am so very frightened that my furry little knees are knocking together.

MR. MIKE: I know, and I appreciate that. Courage means doing what’s right even when it is hard.

D.B.: Thank you, Mr. Mike. What are you going to do with our ball?

MR. MIKE: I think I will hold on to it for now, until I have a chance to talk to the other kids’ parents.

D.B.: Are you going to talk to my parents?

MR. MIKE: No, we’re good.

D.B.: Thanks, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: You’re welcome, D.B.

D.B.: Bye, Mr. Mike.

MR. MIKE: Bye, D.B.